Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Big Box of Silliness

Harry Potter and the Clockwork Leap

by Clell65619 12 reviews

Harry has to fix things that once went wrong, leaping from life to life in the hope that the next leap will be the one to Luna's bed...

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Bill Weasley,Fleur,Fred,George,Harry,Luna - Warnings: [X] [?] - Published: 2008-03-15 - Updated: 2008-03-15 - 3317 words

A/N: I own none of this. I do not own Harry Potter or any rights to his image or personality. I do not own the moon or the stars. I do have any claim on any of the concepts or characters of a television show named Quantum Leap. This is all a coincidence. Nothing to see here, move along. Honest. Nope, not me. I most certainly do not own the rights to a billion dollar literary work.

Harry Potter and the Clockwork Leap

"After hearing Hermione Granger theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Harry Potter stepped into the Department of Mysteries’ Time Turner Acceleration Chamber and vanished. He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Luna, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of an Astral Projection that only Harry can see and hear. And so Harry Potter finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the one that allows him to kill Voldemort."


Harry woke slowly. What had just happened? One moment he had been in the Department of Mysteries, and now he was lying on his back in a bed. Brutal experience with the Dursley’s had taught him to continue to appear to be asleep until such time as he was sure he wanted to let the world know he was awake.

Evaluate the situation. He was laying in a comfortable bed. That meant he was not at the Dursleys. Good. A few subtle movements told him he was not restrained, magically or otherwise. Good. Listening carefully told him… nothing. He carefully opened his eyes. Sunlight streaming in the windows lit the room brightly, but beyond that Harry couldn’t see anything. Had his eyes gotten worse?

Groping to his right he found a bed side table, and by touch identified a pair of glasses. This was wrong. The glasses were completely the wrong shape. What was going on? He took the glasses and carefully put them on, figuring that they couldn’t make his vision any worse. The room sprang into precise focus. He looked around; the room looked like Percy’s room in the Burrow, but somehow… different. Harry sat up in the bed and looked around again. He caught sight of the person sitting up in the bed in the mirror on the door of the wardrobe. That wasn’t his face. He raised his hand and wiggled his fingers; the mirror image did the same.

For all the world he looked like a much younger Percy Weasley. What the hell had happened?

There was a knock at the door, then with only the briefest of pauses, long before Harry could invite the knocker in, the door opened and a very young Molly Weasley looked in. “Good morning Percy dear. Happy Birthday. Come on down to breakfast, Bill and Charlie are here to wish you a happy day.”

“I’ll be right down.”

The Weasley Matriarch nodded and closed the door behind her.

Harry looked back at the image in the mirror. “Oh Boy.”


Harry carefully made his way down stairs to the Weasley kitchen. Sitting around the table was the entire Weasley clan. Ginny looked to be six or seven, Ron was so young, maybe nine, the twins seemed… odd they looked like shorter stockier versions of the Ron he remembered from first year, but somehow… groomed. Charlie was his normal brawny self, though younger, maybe 16 and Bill he was so young, his hair not yet long enough for his trademark pony tail, and no sign of his signature fang earring.
Harry stood for a moment afraid to move, what the hell is going on? Should he tell them who he was? Oh that made sense “I know I look like Percy, but I’m really Harry Potter, who you evidently haven’t met yet.”
Ginny looked up from her breakfast, and smiled widely. Harry could see that she had lost her two upper front teeth. “PERTHY!” she yelled.
Greetings from the rest of the Weasley clan came out. Play along Harry told himself. Play along until you figure out what has happened. Did Percy already have the stick up his butt at this age?

“Good Morning Family.” Harry stopped at the chair Percy had always used. “Mother, Father.”

“Sit down son.” Arthur boomed out looking younger and happier than Harry could ever remember him.

“It’s your day after all, a Weasley only turns twelve once you know.”

“Thank you Father.” Twelve. Percy’s birthday was sometime in late August, which meant that this was just before Percy’s second year at Hogwarts, which made the twins ten or so and Ron eight. That meant that in Surrey there was a just turned 8 year old Harry Potter. Poor bugger. A collection of gifts began to appear before Harry. From Arthur and Molly Percy received a Journal and a very fancy quill.

“Thank you Father, Mother, this is an extravagant gift.” Harry said hopping he sounded like Percy at twelve.

“Not extravagant at all Percy” Molly said. “A young man needs things like that.”

Bill and Charlie went in together to by their eldest younger brother a Gryffindor Tie made of the finest Acromantula silk. “Charles, William, thank you.”

“I don’t care if it is your birthday squirt,” Charlie growled. “Call me ‘Charles’ again and I’ll thump you.”

The family laughed when Bill slapped the back of Charlie’s head. If anyone else had done that it would be all out war. Charlie had learned the hard way that Bill would always be the ‘big’ brother. “Thump him tomorrow, this is Percy’s day.”

A collection of drawings and interesting stones were the gifts from Ron and Ginny. Harry ruffled Ron’s hair and pulled Ginny onto his lap for a hug. “Thank you Ronald, and you too Ginevra. These are truly treasures beyond measure.” No one said anything; evidently he was channeling his inner Percy quite effectively. That left only the twins. That thought gave Harry pause. Gifts from the twins were dangerous, especially so for Percy, always the Twin’s favorite target. One of the pair shyly slid a tissue wrapped something in front of him. Percy would open it without question, so Harry did so, cringing internally. Inside the tissue was a galleon. They had given him a galleon?

“Thank you Fredrick, George. A most thoughtful gift.”

“We thought it would be useful to you”

“Since you insist on buying your own school supplies this year”

“A Weasley pays his way you always say.”

“Indeed. Again thank you.” He kept waiting for the punch line. It never came.

“Percy,” Bill said. “I’m going to Gringotts after lunch for an interview for an apprenticeship, if you would like to come along to do your shopping…”

“A capital idea Bill. It would be good for Percy to have a little independence.” Arthur said.

“Yes, William, thank you. I believe I would like to accompany you.”
Ginny jumped off his lap. “Luna ith coming over to play. I hath to get ready.” She ran up the stairs.

“Straighten up your room dear!” Molly called after her.

“We’ll take your presents to your Room Percy.”

“So you can get out to take your walk.”

“And maybe tonight you can tell us more about Hogwarts.”

Harry watched in amazement as the twins headed upstairs in quiet dignity.

“Will you play chess with me tonight Percy?”

“Of course I will Ronald.”

“Betcha I’ll win this time.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised Ronald.”

“Go on Percy, Charlie and I have got your chores this morning. Go take your walk. Enjoy yourself, but be back by one, I won’t be able to wait for you.”

“Thank you William.”

Harry rose from the table and made for the door deeply confused. So much was happening here that he did not understand. Why was he wearing Percy’s face? How did he get nine years into the past? What the hell was going on?

Outside the fresh air didn’t do anything to answer his questions, but it certainly felt good. His feet seemed to know where he was going, so he left them to it so that he could think. He was so deep in thought he almost missed you young blonde girl skipping down the path.

Seven year old Luna Lovegood skipped right up in front of him and came to a dead stop. “Good morning Harry Potter.” She said. “I certainly hope your day improves.” She then resumed her skipping path to the Burrow, while Harry stared after her with his mouth hanging open. How did she know…?

“Harry James Potter. If you don’t stop ogling my younger self, I will be forced to hex you into a small greasy puddle. If you want to ogle someone, I’m standing right here.”
Harry spun to face the voice and found himself staring into the silver-gray eyes of a 16 year old Luna Lovegood.

“Luna? What the hell is going on?”


Harry moved to hug the Ravenclaw and his arms passed right through her. His eyes went wide.

“Oh, I’m not there Harry, I’m here.” She giggled. “What you’re seeing is my Astral Projection. You’re displaced in time you know.”

“Luna, what’s going on?”

“Oh, Hermione worried that this might happen to you with the time displacement. She said that the act of moving through time like that might gorgonzola your memories.”


The blonde frowned. “It was some kind of cheese… brie? Muenster? Cheddar?” In her hand was an oddly decorated hand mirror. It made some odd sounds and she smacked it a few times seemingly to make it quiet.

“Ah, Swiss Cheese” she said looking up from the mirror. “Hermione says that it might Swiss cheese your memory. I think she’s referring to the holes, not the smell.”

Harry stood back and looked at the girl. “Luna, why are you dressed like an admiral in the American Navy?”

She shrugged. “It seemed appropriate.” From a pocket in the Summer Dress jacket she produced a cigar, and held it between her teeth. “Does this give you any ideas Harry?” she waggled her eyebrows at him.

Almost immediately the hand mirror began squawking. Luna looked at it inquisitively, and then looked up. “Hermione Granger, you’ve got a dirty mind.” She directed her attention back to Harry. “She thought I was alluding to fellatio.”

“You weren’t?”

“Of course I was Harry. I think it’s good that Hermione’s mind is sufficiently dirty to understand what I was alluding to, she is sometimes a little slow.”
Harry felt the beginnings of a headache behind his eyes. “Can Hermione see and hear us? I don’t understand when your mirror talks to you.”

“Oh, Hermione has charmed the Room of Requirements to be able to observe you. I’m the only one of us capable of doing an astral projection to be able to speak with you. No one here can see or hear me, but you. And Me.”

“Ok, slowly, how did I get here, and why am I here.”

"We broke into the Department of Mysteries looking for a rumored weapon to use against Voldemort. What we found was a massive time turner chamber. After going through the records on the chamber Hermione theorized that someone could time travel within their own lifetime, and during those travels use the knowledge we have of the past to make changes that would neuter Voldemort. Upon hearing that, you stepped into the Chamber and vanished.” She shook her head sadly. “That was very foolish Harry. Hermione freaked totally out, Neville wanted to follow you, Susan was worried about Neville and actively trying to talk him out of it, and Ron became a complete nozzle.”

Harry perked up. That was a strange term. “Nozzle?”

Luna shrugged again. “It seems appropriate. Anyway, Hermione stole all the documentation on the chamber and we returned to Hogwarts, where she started working on a charm in the Room of Requirements that allows us to see you. Your personality and Monterey Jacked memory are interposed into the bodies of people who are here. People that are at vital cusps of history. You wear their faces. As best Hermione has been able to determine you are here to make sure those cusps of history happen correctly. You will jump from life to life putting right what once went wrong, helping people, making love to any Luna Lovegood you encounter and hoping that each jump you take is the one that prevents Voldemort from returning."
Harry nodded, then had the feeling he had missed something. The mirror started squawking. Luna looked up

“Oh hush Hermione. When you can astral project THEN you can decide who makes passes at whom.”

“Wait. What was that last part?”

“When Hermione can astral project?” Asked the blonde.

“No before that.”

“You’ll be jumping from life to life putting right what went wrong?”

“After that.”

“Preventing Voldemort from returning?”

“Never mind. You said I leap into people at a cusp of history. What possible cusp could twelve year old Percy Weasley be at?”

The mirror squawked some more. Luna looked amused. “The Nozzle says we should continue on your walk.”


“It seems that all this summer you, that is to say, Percy has been having what he believes to be a secret morning rendezvous with Penny Clearwater. Of course with the Weasleys, everyone knew this supposed secret. You need to make sure you meet with her, which ensures the marriage.”

“Percy gets married?”

“Got married, last year.”

“Luna, are you telling me that I’m here to make sure Percy makes his date?”

“No silly. You have to turn the twins into jokers.”


“Not now Harry, there’s Penny. Remember to call her ‘Miss Clearwater’, I’ll be around, but don’t try to talk to me, you’ll look like a loon… Percy wouldn’t like that.”


The ‘date’ with Penny Clearwater was formal, odd, and extremely awkward, which was evidently precisely the way the Percy/Penny relationship was and the way they both liked it. At the end of the ‘date’ the pair shook hands (!) and went their separate ways. Harry began his walk back to the Burrow, and he was joined by Luna’s specter again.

“What did you mean that I have to turn the twins into jokers?”

“According to Ron, up until this week the Twins were, well, mini-Percys. They adored their favorite older brother and emulated him in everything he did. That changed when, the week after his twelfth birthday Percy gave them a joke book from Zonkos and pranked them until they retaliated. That joke book became their inspiration for life.”

“How could that possibly be a cusp of history?” Harry was confused.

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Imagine for a moment Harry, three Percy’s in the Gryffindor dorms.”




The trip to Diagon Alley with Bill went off without a hitch. Harry had gotten Percy’s shopping done and found time to get to Zonkos for the joke book. That had turned out to be the hardest part of the trip. Zonko’s carried a multitude of joke books. Harry had to pull each one off the shelf until (on the forty third try) Ron recognized the ‘proper’ book and relayed that information via mirror to Luna. Harry also picked up some sweets from Honeydukes for Ron and Ginny so that the ‘gift’ to the twins would not seem too odd.

Bill treated Harry to an ice cream to celebrate his getting the apprenticeship he had applied for at Gringotts, and then they returned to the Burrow via Floo.

The Joke Book was accepted graciously, and the sweets went down a treat. The ground work was laid. Now for the pranks.

Unfortunately, Harry’s non-magical repertory of pranks was limited.

That night the twins found their beds short sheeted. They were somewhat confused when Percy appeared at their door laughing.

The next morning Fred found that the toilet had been sealed with plastic wrap. He discovered this when the back splash drenched the front of his pajamas. At the same time George attempted to leave their room and found that the door knob had been coated with a thick film of petroleum jelly. The twin’s anger at the actions of their favorite older brother grew by the hour.

The straw that broke the threstral’s back was the second night of ‘Percy’s Prank War’ the twins woke up with their hands in warm water, and another warm puddle elsewhere.

The next morning when Harry was returning from his rendezvous with Penny Clearwater, he heard conversation coming from his room’s slightly open door. He pushed the door open and a large bucket of molasses emptied on to him, followed seconds later by a box of feathers. Harry wiped the muck from his glasses to find his four younger siblings rolling on the floor shrieking with laughter. He opened his mouth to speak and suddenly wasn’t there any more.
Luna’s astral projection was standing next to him, laughing herself. She noticed a spectral aura flare around Harry as he was replaced by a sputtering Percy.

She looked to the heavens.

“Hermione it worked, Harry’s gone. Get your temporal scrying spell going. We need to find him.”

The mirror squawked. “Forget it Granger. He’s mine.”


Harry suddenly found himself sitting at a dressing table. What the? He looked into the mirror and found Bill Weasley looking back at him. Oh hell, now what? He looked around the room. This wasn’t the Burrow, nor was it Bill’s flat in London. Ok, isolate the time frame. Bill had his pony tail, and his earring. Also the facial scars from his encounter with Greyback. After 6th year then


Harry turned to face the speaker and found a very naked Fleur Delacour.

“I was going to wear the frilly things that your sister Ginny and her friend Hermione gave me at our ‘hen party’ but I’ve waited so long for this night I’ve decided to come to you in my skin.”

Harry swallowed. His mouth was suddenly very dry. “You have very nice skin.” It was then her allure hit him fully in the face. Bill was an unspeakably lucky bastard. Right then, so was Harry.

“Thank you my Husband.” Husband? After the wedding then. After July 1997. The tiny part of Harry’s mind that was still working whispered.

“You are so beautiful Fleur.”

“As are you my husband.” She had pulled Harry to his feet and was working at the buttons of his shirt. “You have now seen me unclothed, I wish to see my husband in only his skin.” She pushed the now unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and rose on her toes to kiss him. Harry was beyond startled when her tongue found access to his mouth. He wrapped his arms around her, and she ground her breasts into his chest, her hands busy with his belt. His trousers fell to his ankles and he stepped out of them.

Fleur broke the kiss. “Indulge me in a wedding night fantasy my Husband?”

WEDDING NIGHT? “Of course.”

She slid down his body, kissing his body as she went. Harry shuddered when he felt himself enveloped in a warm wet suction.

“Oh boy.”

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