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NEON GENESIS EVANGELION: ASCENT OF THE FALLEN

By Sparky Clarkson

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Shinji awoke, or so he assumed. He had not opened his eyes, and in most cases would have relied on signals from his body to tell him that he had gained awareness of the world. The tensing of his muscles as he breathed, the gentle friction of linen moving with the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth accumulated between skin and cotton during the night, and athousand other tiny sensations would let him know where he rested on the balance between sleep and consciousness. He could not use that method now, however, because he couldn't feel anything. It seemed like a barrier had been dropped between his mind and his senses.

Shinji tried to open his eyes, but he could not feel whether his lids had moved. As he reflected on this, he realized he could not even be sure his eyes had been closed. He associated the grey darkness in his field of vision with the interior of his eyelids, but as he concentrated on his vision he seemed to see vague movements in the shadows.

A place where I don't feel anything... not even myself, Shinji mused./Not so long ago I would have thought of this as Heaven./ He tried to stare into the swirling darkness, but could not tell whether that had accomplished anything. No pain... he thought, trying to understand his situation.

The giant archangel opened its mouth as Shinji began pressing the knife against its throat. Shinji only heard the sound for a moment before the pain began. For an instant, he felt his entire body vibrating, and then his mind reeled in pain as he felt a thousand tiny explosions, as if all his bones had snapped at the same time.

I should feel pain, Shinji decided, After that battle... He paused for a moment, as a kernel of an idea formed in his mind. /Am I dead? /he finally wondered.

"No."

Shinji would have jumped, if his body had been reacting. That word sounded like it had been chorused by everyone he knew, and the voices had come from all around him. What's going on? Shinji wondered.

"This is a message," the voices replied from the darkness.

Shinji listened carefully as he made his Eva crouch behind the boulder, in case Misato decided to change her tactics. No order came, but in the background conversation of the command center, Shinji heard his father say,"It is Gabriel the Messenger, second highest among the archangels."

A message? Shinji thought, From an angel? What message could it have for me?

Shinji lost track of his thoughts as he suddenly saw Vice-Commander Fuyutsuki appear in front of him. The stark contrast to the shifting darkness sent his mind reeling with shock.

"The word was made flesh, and dwelt among us," Fuyutsuki said, then evaporated back into the shifting fog as abruptly as he had appeared.

What?

"Hear and listen!" the voices commanded, and suddenly Shinji found himself reliving a moment from his past.

/"My name is Kaoru, Nagisa Kaoru," the grey-haired boy said/.

What is this? Shinji thought, Am I hallucinating?

"It is truth," the voices replied. "It is the only gift."

Suddenly, Kaji materialized in front of Shinji. "I saw and beheld awhite horse," he said, "and he that sat on him went forth conquering, and to conquer."

Shinji gasped, out of breath, and stared up angrily at his father."It is I," he shouted, "I am the pilot of Evangelion Unit One, Ikari Shinji!"

Shinji cradled the nearly-unconscious, bandaged girl. He could sense her frailty, and realized that getting into the purple monster would certainly kill her. He squeezed his eyes shut and began to repeat, "I mustn't run away, Imustn't run away..."

Shinji took a look at the monitor. The cables holding Asuka have snapped, he realized. Without a second more of thought, he dove into the pit of lava.

I don't understand this, Shinji thought. Why don't I have any control over my own memories?

Kaji's form shifted, and he became Misato. She said, "And there went out another horse that was red, and power was given unto him that sat thereon to take peace from the earth."

Asuka slapped Shinji so hard he spun around and nearly hit a wall.

Asuka turned and fixed Shinji with a haughty smile, "Well, it's the natural choice considering which one of us is better."

The emotionally-shattered girl screamed, "I hate everything, I hate everyone! I hate you!"

Why... why must I relive only the pain with her?

Misato transformed into Ritsuko. "And I beheld a black horse, and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand..."

Gendo stared coldly at his estranged son. "I called you now because I need you now."

Please, not this... this hurts worst of all... Shinji thought.

Ritsuko transformed into Rei and emotionlessly recited, "And I looked and beheld a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."

As Unit One emerged from the city, the angel's particle beam slammed into it. After a few brief moments of unspeakable pain, Shinji fell unconscious as his heart stopped.

EVA-01, under the direction of the dummy plug, smashed Unit Three's entry plug with Touji inside.

Rei's Eva self-destructed, unleashing a ravenous firestorm onto the city of Tokyo-3.

Kaoru smiled in the fist of EVA-01, even as Shinji finally mustered up enough strength to squeeze.

Stop, please stop! Shinji begged. Why must you show me these things again?

Rei transformed into Kaoru, who smiled slightly and said, "And I saw heaven opened, and beheld a white horse, and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war. His eyes were as a flame of fire, and he was clothed in a vesture dipped in blood."

Is that you, Kaoru-kun? Are you the rider? Shinji wondered, but Kaoru immediately evaporated.

"You seek the pattern," the voices stated. "That is the first step. God does not let his children walk blindly into the night."

Touji and Kensuke appeared. Kensuke said, "And the earth shall be wholly rent in sunder, And all that is upon the earth shall perish, And there shall be a judgement upon all."

Touji nodded, adding, "And their dead bodies shall lie in the streets of the great city."

Will everyone die, then? Shinji wondered, but the boys disappeared, to be replaced by Maya, Makoto, and Shigeru.

"And I saw a great dragon rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns. And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed," Maya said.

"I saw another mighty angel come down from heaven," Makoto added,"and he set his right foot upon the sea, and his left foot upon the earth, and cried with a loud voice."

"The sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood; and the stars of heaven fell unto the earth," Shigeru concluded.

I/ don't understand. Is the world going to end?/

The three disappeared to be replaced by Hikari. "The Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him; then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory," she said, then immediately vanished.

Shinji couldn't figure out what they were trying to communicate. There must be some crucial piece of information I'm missing, he thought. But they say there will be at least one final angel...

A massive form appeared in front of him, one Shinji recognized as Satchiel, the Third Angel. The monster spoke in a booming voice, saying, "But in the days of the voice of the seventh angel, when he shall begin to sound, the mystery of God should be finished."

The angel vanished, replaced by a reappearing Kaji. "For the great day of His wrath is come," Kaji said, "and who shall be able to stand?"

Asuka replaced Kaji. "Some faces that Day will be bright, laughing, rejoicing at good news. And other faces that Day will be dust-stained; Darkness will cover them," she exclaimed, a broad smile on her face.

Asuka then transformed into a shape that awakened a terrible longing in Shinji's heart. He felt like crying as he saw his mother standing in front of him. She smiled gently and said, "They shall fight against thee; but they shall not prevail against thee, for I am with thee."

Mother, please don't go! Shinji thought, but she evaporated just as quickly as the others had.

Shinji then heard the voices cry out, "And they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them!"

Then Gendo materialized. "Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it," he announced, pushing his glasses up on his nose, "and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it." Then he was gone.

Shinji finally began to feel parts of his body again. At last aware of his mouth and lungs, he shouted "What do you mean?" into the darkness."Why are you telling me these things?"

"You cannot be told; you must learn for yourself the lesson within the words," the voices replied.

A dim, shadowy figure appeared in the mist, too shielded by the fog for Shinji to make out any distinct features. The figure reached out towards Shinji and said in a warm voice, "Love one another as I have loved you."

Kaoru smiled. "I mean, I love you."

A tear dropped from Shinji's chin onto the sheets of Asuka's bed. "I l... love you."

Rei's arms gently held Shinji as she whispered in his ear, "I did it because I wanted to. I think... I think I always have."

"Love," Shinji whispered into the blackness. "Is that the key?"

"You must learn for yourself," the voices replied, and then Shinji fell unconscious once more.