Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Losing You Would Just Crush Me


by Silver-Vampiress 0 reviews

The Battle sequence.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: Dumbledore,Harry,Hermione,Lucius,Snape,Voldemort - Warnings: [R] - Published: 2008-03-26 - Updated: 2008-03-26 - 2927 words

When We last left our Heroine:

“I love you…my lioness,” he whispered in my ear.

“I love you too,” I whispered back and took hold of his waist, clinging on to him with all my might. He, in turn, held my waist and pulled me under his cloak and apparated.


Chapter 8

“Soo…you’ve finally come Sseverusss. What took you sso long?” Voldemort asked. We were standing in the middle of the circle the Death Eaters made around their Lord. Harry and I were flanked on either side of Severus.

“I had to find an excuse for the old man, and then he had to talk to me for several hours my Lord.” Severus was now on one knee, kissing the hem of Voldemort’s robes. Harry was so enraged at Severus’ words that he almost lunged at him, but I put my hand on his arm and he calmed down a little.

“How do I know that you were not sscheming againsst me Sseveruss?” His penetrating stare held Severus where he was. His red slits for eyes were glowing and heavily concentrated on Severus, almost as if he was trying to read his mind.

“I have done nothing to betray your trust milord.” Severus kept his head bent down and did not stand back up. Voldemort stood for a moment. I think he was actually contemplating on whether Severus was telling the truth or not, and what to do with him. The silence stretched on and I became increasingly uncomfortable. I switched from one foot to the other and back again and I wringed my hands together in anticipation.

“Rise Severus. I have considered your request, and have decided to grant it to you. You may keep the girl as your concubine, after I have used her and when she no longer amuses me.” Severus rose and slowly backed towards me. My breath hitched as I heard my sentence. He would keep me as his sex toy until he grew weary of me, and lord knows when that would be!

There was no way in hell that I would sleep with him, but I didn’t know how to actually prevent that from happening. But I knew, from the look on Severus’ face, that he would die before Voldemort raped me.

I could feel Harry tense next to me and I knew I would be safe. Severus joined me and stood in the circle around Voldemort. Other Death Eaters watched in eagerness.

“You, girl, come,” was all he said and a few restless Death Eaters were moving back and forth as if they were about to enjoy a feast. Severus gave me a rough push and I stumbled forwards and looked over my shoulder to give him a dirty look.

“On your kneess.”

I did as I was told, too afraid to defy him. I quickly racked my brain for a possible solution so Severus wouldn’t have to blow his cover to save my sorry arse.

He walked towards me slowly. He bent down to my level and put his rough fingers under my chin and lifted my head. I never looked him in the eyes. Severus had spent some time teaching me occlumency, but I still didn’t want him invading my mind, even if it they are fake memories.

He looked me over and then removed his hand—letting my head drop—and circled me. He stopped suddenly and said, “Not an overly beautiful thing iss sshe? But sshe will do. Tell me Sseverus: what do you ssee in her, that hass attracted you sso?”

Voldemort moved to stand in front of him now. Severus said nothing for a long while and I was afraid his hesitation would get him killed. But the slimy git laughed instead.

He stared at Severus for another long period of silence and finally spoke, “You love her don’t you?” he asked. Severus neither moved nor spoke.

“Don’t you? Ansswer me!” he spat.

I held my breath as I awaited the fight to begin when Severus mumbled something. His dignity was already fractured because he loved a muggle-born, what did it matter that it was hurt a little more? In his eyes, he was a dead man already, but what he didn’t know, was that I would do anything during the next several hours to save him.

“Sspeak up Sseveruss!”

“Yes I love her, but she didn’t know it until now. I’ve never made anything known to her. She did nothing.”

Voldemort turned on his heel and approached me again. Tears flowed freely down my face. I hated Voldemort so much! He stroked my jaw with one slim finger.

“Iss this true, girl? Hass Sseveruss here, been true to hiss word? Did you or didn’t you know of hiss affection for you?”

“I…I didn’t know of his fee-feelings for me. He…he’s so cold to m-me in class I ne-never would have suspected it,” I stuttered. I did not know how I even managed that much. It was miracle!

“Tsk tsk.” He shook his head. “He never touched you?”


“Interesting….Goyle!” He shouted.

“Yes my lord?” A man in a mask appeared before him and bowed low to the ground.

“You may have your way with her first. Severus will watch,” he smiled sardonically. The bastard!

I opened my mouth in horror, but it was the wrong thing to do because Goyle Sr. came at me and stuck his tongue in my mouth, making the undignified attempt at kissing me. I spat into his mouth and shoved him off of me.

He yelled in rage and came at me again. I looked at Severus and Harry, hoping they could see not to do anything that I would be able to deal with this so the whole thing wouldn’t blow up in our faces. Dumbledore should be here soon.

When Goyle’s body collided with mine, we tumbled to the ground in a giant heap of clothes and limbs. He knocked the wind right out of me and I struggled to roll him off. I stood up quickly and waited for him to attack me again. Sure enough, he came at me. I kicked him in the groin, which sent him hurdling towards the ground in pain, holding his crotch.

“I must say Severuss, she is a feisty little one,” Voldemort said. I turned around to face him. He was merely five inches from my body. I could feel the coldness radiating off of him like the sun radiates heat. “She’ll be hard to tire off.” He laughed manically.

It was a good thing Severus’ mask was on, because I could just imagine the look of fury in his eyes. I could see his body tense up through his thick robes. Voldemort though, luckily, did not notice this. Instead, he rounded on me and took my head in his hands. I couldn’t just defend myself the way I had with Goyle. I was going to have to come up with something much cleverer. I would have to keep him talking or something until Dumbledore came…and if that wasn’t soon, I was going to be raped, and Severus would have blown his cover; in other words, we were toast.

Voldemort saw the look of panic in my eyes. “Are you afraid?” he asked with something resembling a smirk appeared across his snake-like face.

I nodded my head, but said nothing.



“You have no reason to fear me. It’s Severuss you should fear. He and he alone has the power to kill you. You are hiss.” His face was closer to mine now. What do I do??

Luckily, I didn’t have to answer that because Dumbledore and the Order arrived right then, and some Aurors I didn’t recognise.

“I was afraid of you because of what you might do to Severus if Dumbledore hadn’t shown up just now,” I smirked and kicked him in the groin too. He fell to the ground with a loud moan of pain.

“What’ss that supposed to mean girl?” he yelled after me. I ignored him and ran until I saw Severus. He was dueling Lucius Malfoy.

Red and green sparks were flying everywhere, just like in those Star Wars movies. Except these sparks did not resemble good and evil, they resembled hexes and death warrants. Both Severus and Lucius’ movements were so graceful and serine I would not have thought that they were fighting, more like having a conversation over tea. It was amazing the skill each had. I was so engrossed in this battle that I didn’t notice Goyle sneak up behind me.

He grabbed me from behind and secured my middle. I struggled and tried to push his arms off of me, but he was far stronger than I could ever hope to be. I racked my brain for what I should do and again, I found another muggle movie to relate to: Miss Congeniality. S.I.N.G. All I had to do was S.I.N.G.

So I elbowed him in the stomach; stepped on the inside of his right foot; unleashed his grasp and turned to break his nose; and then I kicked him in the groin…again! This amazed me because it actually worked. “It worked!” I yelled. I didn’t expect it to because those types of things in movies never really work in reality. But it did! I did my little victory dance and then realised that I was in a middle of a war. I could get killed for reckless behaviour like that. I quickly sobered up and faced Goyle again, prepared to bind him up with a nasty hex.

But he was in my face this time, apparently he learns after being kicked in the balls…TWICE, because his wand was in my face. He mumbled something inaudible. I fell to the ground with a sound thump and found my arms tied together around a tree trunk. My legs were tied to spikes in the ground, spread eagle style. I was in some deep trouble now.

Goyle smirked at me and lowered himself on top of me. I was gagged with a cloth. I struggled against my restraints. How could this psycho still want to rape me after I probably killed all his unborn children (thank the gods for that!)?

“I like a girl willing to fight,” he spat. “That’s it…keep struggling; no one here to save you now lassie!” The harder I tried to get away from him, the more I knew—more like felt—I was turning him on. I could feel his erection getting harder each time I thrashed about trying to throw him off of me. Sick sod! I managed to move the cloth out of my mouth (it wasn’t on very tight) and I spat in his face.

“Bitch!” he screamed and wiped his face off with the sleeve of his robe. I smiled grimly, prepared for the inevitable blow to come. Sure enough, he back handed me and then—the sick freak—kissed the spot where he hit me. I could feel the heat radiating off of it and knew it was turning a deeper red by the second. Tears started to pour out of my eyes. I knew there was nothing more I could do to save myself. And the sting in my cheek hurt terribly, but I knew soon enough, that would be the least of my worries.

He pushed my skirt up and tore off my stockings so the world could see my exposed knickers. Joy. He grinned evilly and tore those off too. He unbuttoned his pants. Not knowing what else to do, I screamed…bloody murder!

I choked on my tears a couple of times, but I screamed my lungs out and continued thrashing about wildly so he would have a hard time aiming.

“Shut your trap and hold still!” he yelled, his face flushed with anger. He put his hands on my waist to hold them still and forced me back to the ground. I yelled even louder—if that was possible.

I looked around, hoping someone heard me. I saw Severus stop and turn around, back facing Lucius. That was a bad move. Time froze as I watched Severus run towards me yelling, “Nooooo!” His robes billowed about and he moved slowly towards me. I blinked away tears which were blurring my vision of him. As he yelled, Ron turned and saw me. He ran too. His wand out and poised to release my bonds. I looked back at Severus—everything still in slow motion. Lucius threw a curse at his back. I screamed again, this time for my love. “Severus!! Nooo!” I sobbed and watched as he fell slowly to the ground. I could 

only guess at what curse it was, but knowing Malfoy, it would have been one to kill. My constraints fell to the ground and I kicked Goyle Sr. off of me. I found my wand lying on the ground nearby and flew to it. I turned back on Goyle who was busy trying to stuff his junk back in his pants. One quick hex took care of that for him. He would be busy trying to find his balls for the next several hours. I petrified him and ran quickly to Severus side.

He was lying face down on the ground. I rolled him over, not minding in the least bit that everyone and their brothers could see my arse. Tears spilled over as I wiped the dirt off his worried face. “No!” I cried. He couldn’t die. It wasn’t possible! No! I laid over him for some time, just crying my heart out. There was nothing I could do to save him. He was dead.

As I lay there holding him, I quickly thought about how it was Malfoy responsible for killing my lover, my future husband. I took hold of Severus wrist and activated the portkey. I didn’t want anyone messing with him.

As soon as his body was gone, I got up off my knees and went in pursuit of Malfoy Sr. I know I had a furiously wild look in my eyes, because everyone in my path moved out of my way. My eyes found Draco first. Good revenge. I thought.

I bound him up with effortless ease. I was a woman on a mission. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! He hated me alright, but that’s not what I was going to kill him for. In no time, I found Lucius.

“Lucius!” I yelled. He spun around quickly, wand at the ready. “You pompous bastard! You killed Severus!” I screamed. I wasn’t going to toy with him like he did with his victims. I wanted to get this over with…and quickly. “Expelliarmus!” Surprisingly enough, his wand flew out of his hand. I caught it and snapped it in half. He went livid and then bright red all within five seconds.

“You will pay for that you mudblood bitch!” he screamed. I laughed. Yes, I laughed in his face.

“You honestly expect I’ll let you live after you killed Severus?” He went deathly pale after this. “Avada KedavraAnd a flash of green light flew out of my wand and hit a cloaked figure. Bellatrix Lestrange fell to the ground with a thud.

An evil laugh came from behind her. “I certainly never would have believed you capable of such hatred mudblood.” He now held Bellatrix’s wand. We circled each other wands pointed at each other’s heart. I thought incendio clearly in my mind and was pleased when Lucius robes caught fire. He jumped and hollered about. I took the opportunity and performed expelliarmus again. Bellatrix’s wand—again—flew out of his hand and I proceeded to snap it in half. I double 

checked and saw no one around us that he could throw into my line of fire at the last minute. This was the end for him. I came within several feet from him. And deliberately and slowly said “Avada Kedavra” for the second time. I stood there and watched as Lucius fell with a satisfactory thump and I grimaced. My revenge was complete.

I silently walked away from the horrid scene. I found a path away from all the fighting and walked down it. I wanted to get away. I killed two people, and captured another two. Harry would kill Voldemort—I was sure of that—and he could do that without my help. And Ron would be okay without me. I just needed time for myself before everyone bombarded me. No one knew. No one knew but Dumbledore, about our relationship. No one knew how he died. No one knew how my I loved him, and no one could ever know. No one. I was alone once again. I carefully sat down at the edge of the road and cried my heart out. I cried because of my lost loved ones. I cried because I am sure I would never find the happiness I had with Severus. I cried because I killed people today—even if they did deserve it. I cried because I didn’t know what I was going to do and I was helpless and scared.

A/N: I'm not done with it yet!
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