FicWad

I don’t smile,
Because I’m scared.
Scared that you’d be able to convince me
To come out and play,
To be happy,
To be sad,
To feel the sun on my back
As we go up and down
On opposite sides of the seesaw.
Scared that you’ll see me clearly,
And what you see
Will make you run.
Run to find other friends,
Those happy kids by the swings,
Or make you stay,
Just to laugh at my scraped knee
(And not offer me a Band-Aid)

I don’t smile
(s c a r e d)
Because it will show-
(Will blow my highly structured cover)
That I can actually feel.
That you can pull my braids and make me cry.
And even scarier,
That I will let you.

I never smiled,
And so my mouth learned how
To frown quite naturally,
(Just like how I learned my ABC’s)
To ward off bullies who might steal my lunch,
And popular kids who make fun of my missing tooth.

But if I have to
I do,
(F-a-k-e. I can spell. Can you?)
But only to make my teacher happy,
So that I can get a gold star for the day.
(Hooray)