FicWad

Interlude: That Night


Huh...guess they're waiting 'til morning then...but why? I thought they'd want me at the chopping block as soon as possible. Wait...I don't think the Bmyhadians /have executions...maybe they're gonna take me off the planet.../

Well, time to get comfortable, Armada thought while leaning her head back against the cold metal wall behind herself and closing her eyes. No sooner had she closed her eyes did she see the burning images of her former comrades. She bolted upright, hanging her head in front of her. I know guys, I know...I wish I could say it wasn't my fault, that I didn't mean to kill you, but...all I can say is I'm sorry, even though I know that's not enough...


Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again


Memories of that fateful day quickly became fresh in her mind, as they did every time she closed her eyes. "I wish...I could have died with you guys," she found herself saying aloud, a slight burning sensation beginning to build behind her eyes. "I didn't want to wait this long for it..."

A short, old man, dressed in an assortment of green decorative robes, stood behind a podium with a switchboard on the front. Some surrounded him on stage, while most of the crowd resided on the ground. He leaned forward and spoke.

"We will not let the barbarians win!"

A shocked and confused Armada turned around towards her blue-skinned, green-haired comrade. "We must leave at once!" Lex barked at her. She only stared at him with wide eyes, unmoving in the slightest.

"Order the retreat!" he shouted at her, panic evident on his face.

Her gaze shifted from the lieutenant and fell down towards the ground. /Now...now I can finally... /Explosions resounded in the distance from the capital. The Junxing people were serious; they weren't going to lose the war no matter what it meant to their survival. They wouldn't let their world fall to a war-mongering nation, regardless of the cost.

A black-haired soldier came running towards the two. "They're gonna blow the planet!" Tren shouted. He glanced between his two commanders. Confused as to why the two were simply standing there, his panic rose. "What the hell's goin' on! We gotta go, //NOW//!"

"Order the retreat!!" Lex shouted once more, anger more prevalent in his voice this time.

"Armada, wh-what are you...?" Tren stammered, fearing the reasons why his friend and team leader silently refused to call for the retreat order.

"God DAMNIT Armada!" Lex shouted, grabbing his commanding officer by the collar of her uniform. "If you don't call the retreat, we're all gonna die!!"

No.../ the thought suddenly hit her. I-I can't let them die too! "A-all troops, fall back!" she screamed out loud enough for all troops in the vicinity to hear./

Lex dropped Armada, who consequently fell to the ground. He gave her an angry yet pained look before he ran past the two.

"Armada," Tren said quietly, his pale complexion and the sheer confusion present on his face enough to reflect what he really thought of the situation. He looked away and flew after Lex.


Armada shuddered as the memories that followed entailed herself and her team burning alive in an out-of-control spaceship. Tren...


"Aahhh! I can't take it!" Tren screamed through the searing flames. He charged a ki blast in his right fist and blew a hole through his own chest, unable to endure the pain.


And Lex...Jen would never see you again... She thought briefly of her comrade recounting the tale of how he met his wife, and a few of the crazy adventures they'd had together since they'd been married. He spoke of his wife often. It was obvious that he missed her...


"I want to have children some day," Lex told her as he looked to the stars with a smile on his face. He turned towards Armada. "That is, to say, when I'm finally released to go home." He smiled with a charm that only he had.


Lex, why did you ever bother getting to know any of us? You should have hated us; we forced you to leave a life you loved to serve in an army that wanted to conquer and destroy that life.

Armada pulled her legs in, wrapping her arms around them. Don't worry guys; I'll be seeing you soon. The one thing she hated the most about the memories of her former comrades wasn't that she killed them-it was that she cared about them. That was what had made their deaths painful.

"If I had just...stopped thinking about what I wanted and looked out for the well being of my men..." She clenched her fists and let go of her legs, leaning against the wall once more. Regrets were regrets; there was no changing that. She hated regrets, hated thinking of her former life. She hated the memories she had, and those that she didn't. Not being able to remember who one is...it was difficult at times.


You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
Unless I try to start again


"I always wondered when this nightmare would end," she found herself talking aloud once more. "The Kiplonians...why did they bother? Why...did they care?"


A young woman looked upward towards the roof of the building. "What are you doing up there? It's not good for your health!"

"Leave me alone," Armada said quickly, nuzzling the lower part of her face into the golden fabric draped around her shoulders.

The purple-haired girl known more commonly as Saya sighed. "What could you be doing up there at a time like this?!" she shouted over the cold howl of the wind of winter.

"You couldn't possibly understand." With that, Armada closed her eyes, determined to ignore the Kiplonian teenager, even if it meant freezing to death.


"They didn't fight wars...they didn't know what it was like," she told herself bitterly, her anger at the race that had saved her rising. "I was just a pet project to them. Until I went insane," she added with disdain, "then I had to leave." She sighed. Her greatest moment of weakness wasn't a moment she preferred to think about. Then another thought hit her.


I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused


"How...how do I keep ending up in these situations?" Armada suddenly inquired. "I'm so sick of fighting, but...it's the only thing I know how to do. So what," she started once more, glancing outside the window, "what am I doing anymore?"


I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight


What am I even fighting for anymore? She clenched her fists while resisting the urge to scream, though for whatever reason she wasn't entirely sure. "Why do I even bother?" She closed her eyes with a pained sigh. "If I wasn't such a stoic, I'd have taken care of this by myself long ago.

"Damnit!" she cursed. "I don't want those bastards to have the satisfaction, yet...this is what I wanted..."


Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again



Her thoughts wandered to the four beings she'd spent the past several months with. Naya...so calm yet endearing in the face of conflict. I wish...I'd never treated you as if you were so...inferior. 'Just trust me,' you said, when for all you knew about me I was there to kill you.

Marice...you carry an understanding of people and wisdom beyond your years. I admit, I was surprised when I started...learning...from you. I'm so sorry about Janus...he was never supposed to die, he...he was supposed to come with /us, Marice. I was supposed to make sure he made it...I promised him.../

Lai, you frighten me more than anything. When I look at you, it's as if I'm looking at a reflection of myself, of who I /want to be. Instead, I spend my time shouting and pushing everyone away. I'm...I'm glad you're not like me./

Trunks...you have so much potential, and such determination... I can see it in your actions, hear it in your voice-you want to do something with your life. Take the Verdandi and make your own path; don't stick around me. ...I'll only bring you down...


I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again



"Why does this bother me so much?!" she near-shouted. Her head and chest ached, a sign of emotional pain that she wasn't accustomed to. She'd felt plenty of regret, guilt, sadness, anger...yet this was none of these. Not even the sarcastic satisfaction she thought she'd feel upon the eve of her death. It was almost the sense of...a great mistake.

"I had to do this," she reminded herself in a whisper. "I couldn't let Naya suffer for my crimes. I had no choice...this was the only thing I could do..."

Armada's last words she'd spoken to her former crew came back to her in a blaze. 'I don't give a damn!' She cringed. That's not...that's not what I wanted to say. /Her head sank. /I wanted...I wanted to say that I'm sorry...please, take the ship...forget about me...live better for it...don't...don't mourn...and...

Her thoughts stopped as she choked, her body shuddering violently with unreleased tears. Her eyes burned, her hands trembled, and her head swam. Her head shot upright and her eyes bolted wide open as the realization hit. "I don't want to die..." she stated almost inaudibly. The thought had never occurred to her, yet it was the only thing that would satisfy the reason as to why she felt the way she did. It was regret, but of a different kind... The regret of making the ultimate mistake.


I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean
I don't know how I got this way
I'll never be alright
So, I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight



"This is it," she spoke aloud and with more clarity than she'd had at any point in her life thus far. "This is my punishment. This way...I'll never be around to screw things up anymore. For me, or for anyone else." She took a breath, pausing for a moment. "I'm never going to change...I'll never be a real person, so... This is what's left for me." This...is the end.


I'll paint it on the walls
'Cause I'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends



Upon hearing the guards at her door, preparing to open the cell, Armada turned towards the window. She could see that sunrise would soon approach. The sky was still fairly dark, yet everything was awash in blue, as it always was before sunrise. She laughed to herself, finding it so fitting that as light broke upon the world, she would meet her end.