Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts
Time Enough
28 reviewsThe last of the contracts are returned, Luna takes it very well. Dumbledore eavesdrops... Moody makes threats.
5Funny
A/N: I don’t own Harry Potter and wouldn’t particularly care to. I would like a rental agreement with option to buy for Hermione Granger. A short term contract with Nyphadora Tonks wouldn’t be turned down. A Long-term agreement with Luna Lovegood would probably be a whole lot of fun. Any time Padma Patil wants to open negotiations, call me and oh for a weekend with Fleur. Oddly Lavender and Padma’s sister (despite being her twin) Parvarti do nothing for me…
Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts.
Chapter Eight – Time Enough
October 13, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The Great Hall:
Following breakfast and the revelation of the status of Harry’s wealth, Harry escorted Daphne from the Great Hall to her first class. She pulled him past her classroom into an unused darkened hallway, pushed him against the wall and kissed him.
“I just realized,” Harry said when they broke the kiss. “I just realized what you meant when you said you didn’t care about my money. Thank you. Sorry I was so clueless.”
“You usually are. Its part of your charm.” She kissed him again. “Do you still have any of those contracts?”
“Yes. I have three left, from people I know fairly well. I’ve been trying to find good times to do it properly.”
“Do it now. Do it by the end of the week. I don’t share Harry; I don’t want anyone thinking she might have a claim on you. It would be annoying to have to hurt some girl because you were too shy to tell them to go away.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 13, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The Owlery:
Harry folded the Marauders’ map, returned it to his pocket, and steeled himself. This wasn’t going to be easy. Almost nothing was easy with this girl.
He entered the chamber and his senses were almost overwhelmed by all things avian. Dozens of heads swiveled to face him, regarding him with unblinking eyes. One of those heads belonged to a blonde girl.
“Hello Harry.”
“Hello Luna.”
“Ohh, poo. You’ve come to disappoint me haven’t you?”
“I’ve come to decline your family’s offer of marriage,” He had been right; nothing was ever easy with Luna. He smiled. “I’m not sure how disappointing that might be.”
“Oh and we would have made such wonderful babies too.” She looked very sad for a moment, and then brightened. “Alright Harry, go ahead.”
“Miss Lovegood, In accordance with the old ways, I must respectfully decline your family’s offer of your hand in marriage. At this time I am not looking to take a wife. At some point in the future that may change and I will certainly keep you in mind.”
Luna took the offered parchment from his hand, then rose to her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
“Thank you Harry that was very well done. As always, you are the perfect gentleman.” The slightest hint of a smile played across her lips. “So tell me Harry Potter,” She was very close to him, her silver-grey eyes burning into his. She began to play with the buttons of her blouse. “Is a consolation session of oral sex out of the question?”
“What?”
“Hmm, I should really discuss this with Daphne, shouldn’t I? Perhaps she’d be interested in my application to be your concubine… A Wizard in your position should have one you know.” She rubbed her delicate right hand over his crotch. “Hmm. Maybe two.”
“Luna?”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
“She didn’t.” Daphne couldn’t stop laughing.
“She did.” Harry didn’t think it was funny at all. Here he thought he was being a good boyfriend telling Daphne what had happened, and she was laughing at him. Daphne just didn’t get it, after all it wasn’t her that had run… made a manly strategic retreat from the Ravenclaw’s advances.
“Calm down Potter.” Tracey Davis shook her head at the boy’s thickness. “Luna was just having you on. She likes to get a rise out of people. You should see what she does to my father.” She saw the look on his face. “What? She’s my cousin.”
“Seriously?”
Potter was beginning to grow on Tracey, but sometimes his lack of understanding of the Wizarding world… “Seriously. Of course, the three of us are cousins too, however distant. But Luna’s Mum was my Mum’s sister. Aunt Selene was a lovely woman. She messed with daddy’s head too.”
“Wait. We’re cousins?” Harry gestured a triangle between them.
“About nine generations back Bertram Davis married a Potter, Charity I believe.” Tracey explained.
“No, Chastity. Charity was her twin sister who married into the Longbottom clan.” Daphne corrected. “Chastity is both the Davis and Greengrass link to the Potters. She had seven children. The firstborn was a witch named Bertha, she married into the Greengrass line. On Mum’s side the link is closer. Four generations back Elaine Potter married Angus Moody.”
“Moody? As in Mad Eye?”
“I’ll thank you not to use that horrible nickname when referring to my grandfather.” Daphne attempted to look stern. “Cousin.” She couldn’t maintain the stern look; a grin broke out across her face.
“Daphne, how closely related are we?”
“Don’t be silly Harry. Elaine was a sister of your Great Grandfather. Elaine was my Great Grandmother. In any way that matters you are probably as closely related to Hermione Granger as you are to me. Outside of idiots like the Malfoys who actually DO marry first and second cousins, inbreeding isn’t really a pureblood problem.” She got a pensive look. “We’re going to have to teach you your family history. Being raised by Muggles has left you woefully unprepared.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 15, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Greenhouse 2:
Greenhouse #2 was Pomona Sprout’s pride and joy. While her student group ‘The Gardeners’ all seemed to gravitate to the more dangerous plants in Greenhouses 4 through 6, where the plants were poisonous, predatory, carnivorous or a combination of the three, Greenhouse #2 contained flowering plants that, while they might be useful in certain potions, were not magical in the slightest.
Not being magical didn’t mean they were not beautiful however. Pomona was world renown (in both the magical and Muggle worlds) for her roses, having developed three breeds that bore her name. It had taken quite a bit of begging on Harry’s part for Pomona to allow him to use her bit of heaven for his meeting.
Threats of using him for fertilizer if any of Pomona’s babies were disturbed in anyway still ringing in his ears, Harry sat on a bench among the flowers waiting. Sprout had also threatened him if he hurt her ‘girl’ as well. Harry had no intention of doing so, but…
“Harry?”
He stood up. “Over here Susan.”
The red headed Hufflepuff strode over marveling at the flowers all around her. Harry gestured to the bench in front of him, as she lowered herself to the seat, he did as well.
“I’ve been waiting for this since you started dating Daphne Greengrass.” She said sadly, and then smiled. “At least it’s a beautiful place for bad news.”
Harry extended the envelope in his hand. “I thought I ought to return these.”
Susan blushed prettily. “I took those for you Harry, you should keep them.”
“Thank you Susan, you are beautiful in them, but in all honesty I can’t keep them and date Daphne. It would be disrespectful to her, and unfair to you.”
“Hannah said you would say that.” The Hufflepuff said, pocketing the envelope containing the photos.
“Hannah’s smart. I try to listen to her and Neville about the important things. No one has seen those pictures; no one knows you sent me any.”
“I promise I won’t make a Weasley style scene.” She dimpled, “Unless you’d like one?”
“Good lord No! That was more attention than I ever wanted.” Harry stood in front of the girl and bowed deeply. “Miss Bones, In accordance with the old ways, I must respectfully decline your family’s offer of your hand in marriage. At this time I am not looking to take a wife. At some point in the future that may change and I will certainly keep you in mind.”
He handed the girl the rolled parchment.
She cocked her head at him. “Are you sure that’s a proper contract refusal?”
“It’s the one Neville and his Gran taught me… If anyone knows the traditions of the Wizarding World it’s Augusta Longbottom.”
“Hmm. As I recall, a proper, respectful contract refusal involves a kiss.”
Hmm indeed. Someone else suggested something else, somewhat more intimate… I think I like your suggestion better.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 17, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Gryffindor Head’s Suite Common Room:
The door opened to his knock, Hermione stood by the door. “They’re both here Harry. Good luck.”
After Harry entered, Hermione ducked out of the suite, leaving him alone with the Patil Twins.
“Ladies.” He said, wondering if they knew about the contract.
“Hello Harry” Padma said looking up from one of Hermione’s books.
“What did you want? Lavender is waiting.”
“Well, first of all, it occurred to me that I never apologized for the Yule ball.”
“Merlin Harry.” Pavarti said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “that was almost three years ago. I’m long over it.” She grinned, “Besides, after I dumped you, I had lots of fun.”
“And while I for one wouldn’t mind an apology” Padma interjected, “I would prefer it be from the guy who was an ass to me.”
“So? Is that it?” Pavarti stood and started toward the door.
“No, please sit?”
Pavarti looked at him oddly, then settled back into her seat.
Harry faced Parvati. “Miss Patil” then he turned his attention to Padma. “Miss Patil, In accordance with the old ways, I must respectfully decline your family’s offer of your hands in marriage. At this time I am not looking to take wives. At some point in the future that may change and I will certainly keep you both in mind.”
“Very funny Harry.” Parvati scoffed. What did you really want?” Harry handed her the parchment. Padma crowded close to see. From his perspective Harry could clearly see Padma’s eyes go all hard with anger.
“Giriraj! I’m going to kill him.”
Parvati put her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Calm down Pad.” She looked up to see Harry looking a bit perplexed. “Giriraj is our brother. Evidently our social climbing brother. When father died Giriraj assumed Daddy’s place as head of the family and apparently thought it might be a good idea to sell us to you for…” she looked back to the contract.
“Five hundred Galleons.” This was the first time Harry had ever seen Padma angry. “He wants to sell us for five hundred Galleons.”
“Well, yeah. Each.” Now Pavarti was getting angry. “Doesn’t he know what you’re worth? Five hundred Galleons. He’s dead.”
“Would this be a good time to point out that this wasn’t my idea, and that the thought of the two of you together scares me to death because I doubt I could make one woman happy?”
Padma blinked for a few seconds as she deciphered his rapid-fire response, and then smiled slightly. “Relax Harry. We’re not mad at you.” Padma assured him.
“We’ve got to write Mother.” Parvati said. “Thank you Harry. Lets go Pad.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 18, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The School Grounds
Harry’s Spot:
It was an abnormally warm day for mid October. It hadn’t rained for more than a week, and the temperature was a relatively balmy 18 degrees Celsius. Harry took the chance and had scheduled a final picnic. So far so good.
Daphne dug into the basket and found one of the bottles of wine. She looked at the label and made a derisive sound.
“This is the exact same vintage Harry. Neville, look at this. He fed me this swill the first time we went out.”
Neville took the bottle from Daphne. “Good Lord Harry. I thought you liked us.”
“What? It’s in a bottle with a cork and everything.”
“I am marrying a wine snob.” Hannah said shaking her head. “And you’re dating one Harry.”
Harry shrugged, took the bottle from Neville and removed the cork with a wave of his wand. “I’ve been told I have the taste of a House Elf. More for us I guess.” He took a pull on the bottle and passed it to Hannah who took a drink herself.
“Wait a minute!” Neville laughed. “I didn’t say I didn’t want any.” He reached for the bottle.
Daphne joined in with the laughter, Harry’s expression dulled for a moment. The Slytherin’s left eyebrow lifted for a second. Then Harry was back.
“Ok Daphne, I know you want to know, go ahead and ask.”
Daphne accepted the bottle from Hannah and took a short pull. “Alright, it has been bothering me. You and Neville have been laughing about the stories you tell the Headmaster about how you killed the Dark Lord.”
“And you want to know what happened?”
“Well, yes.” She leaned into him and nibbled on his earlobe.
“There’s a good reason not to tell anyone!” Harry said uncomfortably
“Come on Harry, for me?” her nuzzling became a bit more… convincing.
“You’re doomed mate, just tell her.” Neville said.
“Besides it will get Hannah off my back.”
“Oh, alright.” Harry rose from the ground and looked around making sure no one was near. “You wanted to know how we killed Voldemort? The short answer is, we didn’t.”
“What? But you told everyone that you had.” Hannah stammered.
“No luv, we told everyone that Voldemort was gone, and he is.” Neville corrected.
Daphne took hold of Harry’s shirt. “Explain Potter. Now.”
“Alright. Neville and I made it through the Death Eaters and we found Voldemort in his lair. Somehow we caught him unaware. Neville busted in first, then rolled to the left of the door. That got the bastards attention and he was casting at Nev, who was dodging like a champion.”
“I was fairly well motivated.” Neville observed
“Anyway, Voldemort was concentrating on Neville and I got off a cutter that punched right through his shields and caught the bastard in the neck and I made him into Nearly Headless Tommy. He dropped like a puppet with his strings cut, and I fell to my knees where I stood. I thought it was over, I couldn’t believe it.”
“But you said…” Hannah said.
“I know, believe me I know. There I was kneeling in front of his dead body, almost in shock, and he sits up, his neck all healed and puts an ice spear straight through my chest. Then nothing.”
“Nothing Hell. You were dead mate. I got to you while Voldemort was trying to stand up. You had a shaft of ice six inches around all the way through your chest. No pulse, no breathing. You. Were. DEAD.” Neville shook his head. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it. Your body ejected the ice spear, then healed it’s self, then you sat up and cast a flame charm on Voldemort.”
“Yeah, I burned the bastard to a crisp, he was dead. Again. But his magic healed him and he killed me.”
“It went back and forth like that for almost two hours. Harry would kill Voldemort, Voldemort would kill Harry. Back and forth. They kept getting weaker and weaker, finally it was Harry’s turn and he didn’t even try.”
“I just thought it was time to talk.” He shook his head.
“It just hurt so much, I needed a breather. Voldemort was just as hurt. We actually started talking, it turned out that we had a lot in common, Our illustrious headmaster screwed him over too, but he didn’t have the resources of an ancient and noble house to fall back on. Voldemort came up with the theory that the prophecy wouldn’t let us kill each other because we weren’t equal, and the only way either of us could figure to tell when we were ‘equal’ would be when one of us managed to kill the other.”
“Voldemort was telling us that he was just sick of the whole thing. He was only still trying to take over Wizarding Britain due to inertia. All he really wanted was immortality and comfort for eternity.” Neville grinned. “I pointed out that as long as he and Harry weren’t ‘equal’ they were both immortal for all intents and purposes.”
“That perked Voldemort up.” Harry added. “That was when I got to thinking about the Black family properties. There was an Island in the Azores that belonged to the family. It’s been under the Fidelius for centuries, there is a mansion and a staff of twenty elves that maintain the island. I offered Voldemort the Island and 10 million Galleons to go away and leave everyone alone.”
“He ripped the money out of Harry’s hands so fast I thought Harry was going to have friction burns.” Neville said, laying back and putting his head in Hannah’s lap, where she began playing with his hair.
“But the ministry found Voldemort’s body.” Hannah said.
“A conjured homunculus. Tommy Riddle is sitting on a beach in the Azores spending 10 million Galleons.” Neville explained.
“It was a win-win situation as far as I could see.” Harry said. “He’s gone, and I’m alive. Beyond that who cares?”
"Yes, but then that last condition he added in was a bit sick, but it's worth doing to keep Tommy happy and out of every bodies hair." Harry added.
"Oh, what condition was that?" Daphne asked.
"I don't know if you should tell them Harry, it's a bit disturbing." Neville put in.
"Oh, now you have to tell us. This sounds too good." Hannah put in her 2 Knuts.
"Just remember, you asked for it. Well, as I pointed out Dumbledore screwed Tom over as bed as he did me, well, uhm. Tom wants to return the favor. For now, we've been stealing hairs from the headmaster and shipping male prostitutes out to Tom once a month or so, but he's getting a bit impatient and really wants us to slip Albus a portkey to his private little dungeon. Of course, from the things I've been hearing whispered about, I'm not sure Albus would mind that much." Harry blurted out, looking a bit sheepish.
“EWW” the girls chorused.
Harry had been watching an area near a tree. “Ok, he’s gone.”
“You already showed him he can’t sneak up on you, why was he trying?”
"I have no idea Daphne, but if our esteemed Headmaster wants to hear a story, why shouldn’t we tell him one.”
“Yeah, but the bet is off. There’s no challenge to it, this is just stealing your money.”
“I bet there are some kick-ass anti-port key wards going up right now.” Harry said laughing.
“Either that or he’s primping.”
The four teens collapsed into laughter. As soon as he could breathe again, Harry spoke once more. “Daphne, you probably ought to get word to your grandfather not to go on wild goose chases to the Azores… unless he could use a vacation on the beach… I actually do have an island down there, Moody might have fun… Lots of girls dressed so that he wouldn’t need that freaky eye of his to ogle them proper.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 18, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Headmaster’s Office:
“Are you sure about this Albus?”
“Of course I am Alastor. It seems that Harry Potter has been lying to us. Voldemort isn’t dead, but had retreated to an island in the Azores to lick his wounds.”
“Albus.” Moody didn’t like the look in his old friends eyes. “There are at least 19 islands in the Azores, more if the Blacks have one under the Fidelius. More importantly it’s a Portuguese territory and they don’t like us. Have you considered that Potter might just be having you one AGAIN?”
“Nonsense. He was bragging to his girlfriend Alastor, he didn’t even know I was there, I saw her coax it out of him.”
“His girlfriend, as in my granddaughter Daphne? That girl wouldn’t coax the information out of him. She might beat it out of him, but.”
“Alastor, just go, will you? Find Voldemort so that he can be stopped before he does any more damage to the world.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 18, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Quidditch Pitch:
“POTTER!”
Harry looked down and say the mangled old Auror. He called to his fellows in the pickup game that he was playing in, then made for the ground. He lit next to Moody.
“Yes sir?”
“Walk with me Potter.” Moody set out at a pace that Harry had to work at to keep up. For a man with a wooden leg, he could really move when he wanted to. As soon as they were well away from the others watching the game over the pitch, Moody spoke again. “I’ve got two topics I want to talk to you about Potter, lie to be about either of them and I will hurt you. First, is Riddle living on one of your islands?”
“Nope.”
“Why did you tell Dumbledore that he was?”
“Because he’s a nosey old bastard who let my parents die to forge his weapon. People like you won’t let me kill him, so I’m going to keep information from him until it drives him completely insane.”
“That’s what I told him, but he insists that I go down to the Azores and search every island to check.”
“Ok. Wanna stay on my island? It would make for a nice vacation… The women dress so you won’t have to use that eye of yours to see them naked.”
Moody ignored that comment. “Second topic. Are you sleeping with my Granddaughter?”
“None of your business. If she wants you to know she’ll tell you.”
Moody stopped in his tracks. The electric blue eye quit whizzing around and focused on him, joining Moody’s natural eye in staring at Harry in an intimidating manner. The old Auror held that stare for a five count. “Good answer Potter. Daphne is a good girl, one of my favorite grandchildren. You hurt her, I will hurt you. And I don’t mean emotionally.”
“I’ve expected that since I found out you were family.”
“What are your intentions?”
“Mad-Eye, we’ve only been dating for about seven weeks. We’ve been having fun. I don’t believe either of us are looking for a life time commitment just yet.”
“Fair enough. Just bare in mind her father is a right bastard.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 31, 1997
London England
Tonks’ Apartment.
The rain came down in torrents; despite his magic he was soaked to the bone.
Remus Lupin hated this night above all others. Sixteen years ago tonight his greatest failure manifested from his mistakes. If he were a braver man, he would have killed himself years ago, but he was so frightened to face James and Lilly. And now he would have to face Sirius too. Peter would be there too… Was what Peter did really all that worse that what he himself had done? No, there would be no forgiveness for what he had done. What he had done to James, to Lilly, to Sirius, and even to Harry.
Damn Dumbledore. Damn him to hell.
He had come here tonight in hopes of catching a glimpse of his Nym.
But she wasn’t his Nym. Not any more. She had made that very clear that night. Nym didn’t want to see him; Harry had threatened to kill him if they ever met again. The only two people that made his life worth living wanted nothing to do with him. Worst of all, he agreed with them.
“Is there a problem Sir?”
Remus had been so wrapped up in feeling sorry for himself the pair of Police Officers had managed to walk right up to him without Remus noticing.
“No Officer. I was just...”
“You seemed to be focusing all your attention on that window there across the street. Hoping to catch a glimpse of someone are we? Your girlfriend?”
“Once.” Remus admitted.
“Not once in the history of mankind has the waiting pathetically in the rain for her to notice you ever worked, sir.” The female officer said. “Women don’t find that romantic, they find it rather creepy. Go home, dry off, and call her on the phone. Talk to her.”
“If we see you here again, we’ll have to look into the possibility that you’re a stalker” her partner said. “I wouldn’t think you’d much like that.”
Remus nodded and turned to walk away from the area. After walking for 15 minutes, he verified that no one was watching, then apparated away.
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
A/N: Many thanks to those on the Caer Azkaban Newsgroup who assisted in this:
Shawn Pickett for improving the “When Harry Killed Tommy” scene with his pervy suggestions
Ben Russell-Gough and Drake for their help with the Luna scene
Meteoricshipyards for his suggestions for Dumble’s reactions to the “When Harry Killed Tommy” scene.
And the Great and Powerful Kinsfire (he loves it when you call him that) for his suggestion that improved the Patil scene…
Harry Potter and the Marriage Contracts.
Chapter Eight – Time Enough
October 13, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The Great Hall:
Following breakfast and the revelation of the status of Harry’s wealth, Harry escorted Daphne from the Great Hall to her first class. She pulled him past her classroom into an unused darkened hallway, pushed him against the wall and kissed him.
“I just realized,” Harry said when they broke the kiss. “I just realized what you meant when you said you didn’t care about my money. Thank you. Sorry I was so clueless.”
“You usually are. Its part of your charm.” She kissed him again. “Do you still have any of those contracts?”
“Yes. I have three left, from people I know fairly well. I’ve been trying to find good times to do it properly.”
“Do it now. Do it by the end of the week. I don’t share Harry; I don’t want anyone thinking she might have a claim on you. It would be annoying to have to hurt some girl because you were too shy to tell them to go away.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 13, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The Owlery:
Harry folded the Marauders’ map, returned it to his pocket, and steeled himself. This wasn’t going to be easy. Almost nothing was easy with this girl.
He entered the chamber and his senses were almost overwhelmed by all things avian. Dozens of heads swiveled to face him, regarding him with unblinking eyes. One of those heads belonged to a blonde girl.
“Hello Harry.”
“Hello Luna.”
“Ohh, poo. You’ve come to disappoint me haven’t you?”
“I’ve come to decline your family’s offer of marriage,” He had been right; nothing was ever easy with Luna. He smiled. “I’m not sure how disappointing that might be.”
“Oh and we would have made such wonderful babies too.” She looked very sad for a moment, and then brightened. “Alright Harry, go ahead.”
“Miss Lovegood, In accordance with the old ways, I must respectfully decline your family’s offer of your hand in marriage. At this time I am not looking to take a wife. At some point in the future that may change and I will certainly keep you in mind.”
Luna took the offered parchment from his hand, then rose to her tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
“Thank you Harry that was very well done. As always, you are the perfect gentleman.” The slightest hint of a smile played across her lips. “So tell me Harry Potter,” She was very close to him, her silver-grey eyes burning into his. She began to play with the buttons of her blouse. “Is a consolation session of oral sex out of the question?”
“What?”
“Hmm, I should really discuss this with Daphne, shouldn’t I? Perhaps she’d be interested in my application to be your concubine… A Wizard in your position should have one you know.” She rubbed her delicate right hand over his crotch. “Hmm. Maybe two.”
“Luna?”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
“She didn’t.” Daphne couldn’t stop laughing.
“She did.” Harry didn’t think it was funny at all. Here he thought he was being a good boyfriend telling Daphne what had happened, and she was laughing at him. Daphne just didn’t get it, after all it wasn’t her that had run… made a manly strategic retreat from the Ravenclaw’s advances.
“Calm down Potter.” Tracey Davis shook her head at the boy’s thickness. “Luna was just having you on. She likes to get a rise out of people. You should see what she does to my father.” She saw the look on his face. “What? She’s my cousin.”
“Seriously?”
Potter was beginning to grow on Tracey, but sometimes his lack of understanding of the Wizarding world… “Seriously. Of course, the three of us are cousins too, however distant. But Luna’s Mum was my Mum’s sister. Aunt Selene was a lovely woman. She messed with daddy’s head too.”
“Wait. We’re cousins?” Harry gestured a triangle between them.
“About nine generations back Bertram Davis married a Potter, Charity I believe.” Tracey explained.
“No, Chastity. Charity was her twin sister who married into the Longbottom clan.” Daphne corrected. “Chastity is both the Davis and Greengrass link to the Potters. She had seven children. The firstborn was a witch named Bertha, she married into the Greengrass line. On Mum’s side the link is closer. Four generations back Elaine Potter married Angus Moody.”
“Moody? As in Mad Eye?”
“I’ll thank you not to use that horrible nickname when referring to my grandfather.” Daphne attempted to look stern. “Cousin.” She couldn’t maintain the stern look; a grin broke out across her face.
“Daphne, how closely related are we?”
“Don’t be silly Harry. Elaine was a sister of your Great Grandfather. Elaine was my Great Grandmother. In any way that matters you are probably as closely related to Hermione Granger as you are to me. Outside of idiots like the Malfoys who actually DO marry first and second cousins, inbreeding isn’t really a pureblood problem.” She got a pensive look. “We’re going to have to teach you your family history. Being raised by Muggles has left you woefully unprepared.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 15, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Greenhouse 2:
Greenhouse #2 was Pomona Sprout’s pride and joy. While her student group ‘The Gardeners’ all seemed to gravitate to the more dangerous plants in Greenhouses 4 through 6, where the plants were poisonous, predatory, carnivorous or a combination of the three, Greenhouse #2 contained flowering plants that, while they might be useful in certain potions, were not magical in the slightest.
Not being magical didn’t mean they were not beautiful however. Pomona was world renown (in both the magical and Muggle worlds) for her roses, having developed three breeds that bore her name. It had taken quite a bit of begging on Harry’s part for Pomona to allow him to use her bit of heaven for his meeting.
Threats of using him for fertilizer if any of Pomona’s babies were disturbed in anyway still ringing in his ears, Harry sat on a bench among the flowers waiting. Sprout had also threatened him if he hurt her ‘girl’ as well. Harry had no intention of doing so, but…
“Harry?”
He stood up. “Over here Susan.”
The red headed Hufflepuff strode over marveling at the flowers all around her. Harry gestured to the bench in front of him, as she lowered herself to the seat, he did as well.
“I’ve been waiting for this since you started dating Daphne Greengrass.” She said sadly, and then smiled. “At least it’s a beautiful place for bad news.”
Harry extended the envelope in his hand. “I thought I ought to return these.”
Susan blushed prettily. “I took those for you Harry, you should keep them.”
“Thank you Susan, you are beautiful in them, but in all honesty I can’t keep them and date Daphne. It would be disrespectful to her, and unfair to you.”
“Hannah said you would say that.” The Hufflepuff said, pocketing the envelope containing the photos.
“Hannah’s smart. I try to listen to her and Neville about the important things. No one has seen those pictures; no one knows you sent me any.”
“I promise I won’t make a Weasley style scene.” She dimpled, “Unless you’d like one?”
“Good lord No! That was more attention than I ever wanted.” Harry stood in front of the girl and bowed deeply. “Miss Bones, In accordance with the old ways, I must respectfully decline your family’s offer of your hand in marriage. At this time I am not looking to take a wife. At some point in the future that may change and I will certainly keep you in mind.”
He handed the girl the rolled parchment.
She cocked her head at him. “Are you sure that’s a proper contract refusal?”
“It’s the one Neville and his Gran taught me… If anyone knows the traditions of the Wizarding World it’s Augusta Longbottom.”
“Hmm. As I recall, a proper, respectful contract refusal involves a kiss.”
Hmm indeed. Someone else suggested something else, somewhat more intimate… I think I like your suggestion better.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 17, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Gryffindor Head’s Suite Common Room:
The door opened to his knock, Hermione stood by the door. “They’re both here Harry. Good luck.”
After Harry entered, Hermione ducked out of the suite, leaving him alone with the Patil Twins.
“Ladies.” He said, wondering if they knew about the contract.
“Hello Harry” Padma said looking up from one of Hermione’s books.
“What did you want? Lavender is waiting.”
“Well, first of all, it occurred to me that I never apologized for the Yule ball.”
“Merlin Harry.” Pavarti said with a dismissive wave of her hand, “that was almost three years ago. I’m long over it.” She grinned, “Besides, after I dumped you, I had lots of fun.”
“And while I for one wouldn’t mind an apology” Padma interjected, “I would prefer it be from the guy who was an ass to me.”
“So? Is that it?” Pavarti stood and started toward the door.
“No, please sit?”
Pavarti looked at him oddly, then settled back into her seat.
Harry faced Parvati. “Miss Patil” then he turned his attention to Padma. “Miss Patil, In accordance with the old ways, I must respectfully decline your family’s offer of your hands in marriage. At this time I am not looking to take wives. At some point in the future that may change and I will certainly keep you both in mind.”
“Very funny Harry.” Parvati scoffed. What did you really want?” Harry handed her the parchment. Padma crowded close to see. From his perspective Harry could clearly see Padma’s eyes go all hard with anger.
“Giriraj! I’m going to kill him.”
Parvati put her hand on her sister’s shoulder. “Calm down Pad.” She looked up to see Harry looking a bit perplexed. “Giriraj is our brother. Evidently our social climbing brother. When father died Giriraj assumed Daddy’s place as head of the family and apparently thought it might be a good idea to sell us to you for…” she looked back to the contract.
“Five hundred Galleons.” This was the first time Harry had ever seen Padma angry. “He wants to sell us for five hundred Galleons.”
“Well, yeah. Each.” Now Pavarti was getting angry. “Doesn’t he know what you’re worth? Five hundred Galleons. He’s dead.”
“Would this be a good time to point out that this wasn’t my idea, and that the thought of the two of you together scares me to death because I doubt I could make one woman happy?”
Padma blinked for a few seconds as she deciphered his rapid-fire response, and then smiled slightly. “Relax Harry. We’re not mad at you.” Padma assured him.
“We’ve got to write Mother.” Parvati said. “Thank you Harry. Lets go Pad.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 18, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
The School Grounds
Harry’s Spot:
It was an abnormally warm day for mid October. It hadn’t rained for more than a week, and the temperature was a relatively balmy 18 degrees Celsius. Harry took the chance and had scheduled a final picnic. So far so good.
Daphne dug into the basket and found one of the bottles of wine. She looked at the label and made a derisive sound.
“This is the exact same vintage Harry. Neville, look at this. He fed me this swill the first time we went out.”
Neville took the bottle from Daphne. “Good Lord Harry. I thought you liked us.”
“What? It’s in a bottle with a cork and everything.”
“I am marrying a wine snob.” Hannah said shaking her head. “And you’re dating one Harry.”
Harry shrugged, took the bottle from Neville and removed the cork with a wave of his wand. “I’ve been told I have the taste of a House Elf. More for us I guess.” He took a pull on the bottle and passed it to Hannah who took a drink herself.
“Wait a minute!” Neville laughed. “I didn’t say I didn’t want any.” He reached for the bottle.
Daphne joined in with the laughter, Harry’s expression dulled for a moment. The Slytherin’s left eyebrow lifted for a second. Then Harry was back.
“Ok Daphne, I know you want to know, go ahead and ask.”
Daphne accepted the bottle from Hannah and took a short pull. “Alright, it has been bothering me. You and Neville have been laughing about the stories you tell the Headmaster about how you killed the Dark Lord.”
“And you want to know what happened?”
“Well, yes.” She leaned into him and nibbled on his earlobe.
“There’s a good reason not to tell anyone!” Harry said uncomfortably
“Come on Harry, for me?” her nuzzling became a bit more… convincing.
“You’re doomed mate, just tell her.” Neville said.
“Besides it will get Hannah off my back.”
“Oh, alright.” Harry rose from the ground and looked around making sure no one was near. “You wanted to know how we killed Voldemort? The short answer is, we didn’t.”
“What? But you told everyone that you had.” Hannah stammered.
“No luv, we told everyone that Voldemort was gone, and he is.” Neville corrected.
Daphne took hold of Harry’s shirt. “Explain Potter. Now.”
“Alright. Neville and I made it through the Death Eaters and we found Voldemort in his lair. Somehow we caught him unaware. Neville busted in first, then rolled to the left of the door. That got the bastards attention and he was casting at Nev, who was dodging like a champion.”
“I was fairly well motivated.” Neville observed
“Anyway, Voldemort was concentrating on Neville and I got off a cutter that punched right through his shields and caught the bastard in the neck and I made him into Nearly Headless Tommy. He dropped like a puppet with his strings cut, and I fell to my knees where I stood. I thought it was over, I couldn’t believe it.”
“But you said…” Hannah said.
“I know, believe me I know. There I was kneeling in front of his dead body, almost in shock, and he sits up, his neck all healed and puts an ice spear straight through my chest. Then nothing.”
“Nothing Hell. You were dead mate. I got to you while Voldemort was trying to stand up. You had a shaft of ice six inches around all the way through your chest. No pulse, no breathing. You. Were. DEAD.” Neville shook his head. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it. Your body ejected the ice spear, then healed it’s self, then you sat up and cast a flame charm on Voldemort.”
“Yeah, I burned the bastard to a crisp, he was dead. Again. But his magic healed him and he killed me.”
“It went back and forth like that for almost two hours. Harry would kill Voldemort, Voldemort would kill Harry. Back and forth. They kept getting weaker and weaker, finally it was Harry’s turn and he didn’t even try.”
“I just thought it was time to talk.” He shook his head.
“It just hurt so much, I needed a breather. Voldemort was just as hurt. We actually started talking, it turned out that we had a lot in common, Our illustrious headmaster screwed him over too, but he didn’t have the resources of an ancient and noble house to fall back on. Voldemort came up with the theory that the prophecy wouldn’t let us kill each other because we weren’t equal, and the only way either of us could figure to tell when we were ‘equal’ would be when one of us managed to kill the other.”
“Voldemort was telling us that he was just sick of the whole thing. He was only still trying to take over Wizarding Britain due to inertia. All he really wanted was immortality and comfort for eternity.” Neville grinned. “I pointed out that as long as he and Harry weren’t ‘equal’ they were both immortal for all intents and purposes.”
“That perked Voldemort up.” Harry added. “That was when I got to thinking about the Black family properties. There was an Island in the Azores that belonged to the family. It’s been under the Fidelius for centuries, there is a mansion and a staff of twenty elves that maintain the island. I offered Voldemort the Island and 10 million Galleons to go away and leave everyone alone.”
“He ripped the money out of Harry’s hands so fast I thought Harry was going to have friction burns.” Neville said, laying back and putting his head in Hannah’s lap, where she began playing with his hair.
“But the ministry found Voldemort’s body.” Hannah said.
“A conjured homunculus. Tommy Riddle is sitting on a beach in the Azores spending 10 million Galleons.” Neville explained.
“It was a win-win situation as far as I could see.” Harry said. “He’s gone, and I’m alive. Beyond that who cares?”
"Yes, but then that last condition he added in was a bit sick, but it's worth doing to keep Tommy happy and out of every bodies hair." Harry added.
"Oh, what condition was that?" Daphne asked.
"I don't know if you should tell them Harry, it's a bit disturbing." Neville put in.
"Oh, now you have to tell us. This sounds too good." Hannah put in her 2 Knuts.
"Just remember, you asked for it. Well, as I pointed out Dumbledore screwed Tom over as bed as he did me, well, uhm. Tom wants to return the favor. For now, we've been stealing hairs from the headmaster and shipping male prostitutes out to Tom once a month or so, but he's getting a bit impatient and really wants us to slip Albus a portkey to his private little dungeon. Of course, from the things I've been hearing whispered about, I'm not sure Albus would mind that much." Harry blurted out, looking a bit sheepish.
“EWW” the girls chorused.
Harry had been watching an area near a tree. “Ok, he’s gone.”
“You already showed him he can’t sneak up on you, why was he trying?”
"I have no idea Daphne, but if our esteemed Headmaster wants to hear a story, why shouldn’t we tell him one.”
“Yeah, but the bet is off. There’s no challenge to it, this is just stealing your money.”
“I bet there are some kick-ass anti-port key wards going up right now.” Harry said laughing.
“Either that or he’s primping.”
The four teens collapsed into laughter. As soon as he could breathe again, Harry spoke once more. “Daphne, you probably ought to get word to your grandfather not to go on wild goose chases to the Azores… unless he could use a vacation on the beach… I actually do have an island down there, Moody might have fun… Lots of girls dressed so that he wouldn’t need that freaky eye of his to ogle them proper.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 18, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Headmaster’s Office:
“Are you sure about this Albus?”
“Of course I am Alastor. It seems that Harry Potter has been lying to us. Voldemort isn’t dead, but had retreated to an island in the Azores to lick his wounds.”
“Albus.” Moody didn’t like the look in his old friends eyes. “There are at least 19 islands in the Azores, more if the Blacks have one under the Fidelius. More importantly it’s a Portuguese territory and they don’t like us. Have you considered that Potter might just be having you one AGAIN?”
“Nonsense. He was bragging to his girlfriend Alastor, he didn’t even know I was there, I saw her coax it out of him.”
“His girlfriend, as in my granddaughter Daphne? That girl wouldn’t coax the information out of him. She might beat it out of him, but.”
“Alastor, just go, will you? Find Voldemort so that he can be stopped before he does any more damage to the world.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 18, 1997
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Quidditch Pitch:
“POTTER!”
Harry looked down and say the mangled old Auror. He called to his fellows in the pickup game that he was playing in, then made for the ground. He lit next to Moody.
“Yes sir?”
“Walk with me Potter.” Moody set out at a pace that Harry had to work at to keep up. For a man with a wooden leg, he could really move when he wanted to. As soon as they were well away from the others watching the game over the pitch, Moody spoke again. “I’ve got two topics I want to talk to you about Potter, lie to be about either of them and I will hurt you. First, is Riddle living on one of your islands?”
“Nope.”
“Why did you tell Dumbledore that he was?”
“Because he’s a nosey old bastard who let my parents die to forge his weapon. People like you won’t let me kill him, so I’m going to keep information from him until it drives him completely insane.”
“That’s what I told him, but he insists that I go down to the Azores and search every island to check.”
“Ok. Wanna stay on my island? It would make for a nice vacation… The women dress so you won’t have to use that eye of yours to see them naked.”
Moody ignored that comment. “Second topic. Are you sleeping with my Granddaughter?”
“None of your business. If she wants you to know she’ll tell you.”
Moody stopped in his tracks. The electric blue eye quit whizzing around and focused on him, joining Moody’s natural eye in staring at Harry in an intimidating manner. The old Auror held that stare for a five count. “Good answer Potter. Daphne is a good girl, one of my favorite grandchildren. You hurt her, I will hurt you. And I don’t mean emotionally.”
“I’ve expected that since I found out you were family.”
“What are your intentions?”
“Mad-Eye, we’ve only been dating for about seven weeks. We’ve been having fun. I don’t believe either of us are looking for a life time commitment just yet.”
“Fair enough. Just bare in mind her father is a right bastard.”
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
October 31, 1997
London England
Tonks’ Apartment.
The rain came down in torrents; despite his magic he was soaked to the bone.
Remus Lupin hated this night above all others. Sixteen years ago tonight his greatest failure manifested from his mistakes. If he were a braver man, he would have killed himself years ago, but he was so frightened to face James and Lilly. And now he would have to face Sirius too. Peter would be there too… Was what Peter did really all that worse that what he himself had done? No, there would be no forgiveness for what he had done. What he had done to James, to Lilly, to Sirius, and even to Harry.
Damn Dumbledore. Damn him to hell.
He had come here tonight in hopes of catching a glimpse of his Nym.
But she wasn’t his Nym. Not any more. She had made that very clear that night. Nym didn’t want to see him; Harry had threatened to kill him if they ever met again. The only two people that made his life worth living wanted nothing to do with him. Worst of all, he agreed with them.
“Is there a problem Sir?”
Remus had been so wrapped up in feeling sorry for himself the pair of Police Officers had managed to walk right up to him without Remus noticing.
“No Officer. I was just...”
“You seemed to be focusing all your attention on that window there across the street. Hoping to catch a glimpse of someone are we? Your girlfriend?”
“Once.” Remus admitted.
“Not once in the history of mankind has the waiting pathetically in the rain for her to notice you ever worked, sir.” The female officer said. “Women don’t find that romantic, they find it rather creepy. Go home, dry off, and call her on the phone. Talk to her.”
“If we see you here again, we’ll have to look into the possibility that you’re a stalker” her partner said. “I wouldn’t think you’d much like that.”
Remus nodded and turned to walk away from the area. After walking for 15 minutes, he verified that no one was watching, then apparated away.
…---===oooOOOooo===---…
A/N: Many thanks to those on the Caer Azkaban Newsgroup who assisted in this:
Shawn Pickett for improving the “When Harry Killed Tommy” scene with his pervy suggestions
Ben Russell-Gough and Drake for their help with the Luna scene
Meteoricshipyards for his suggestions for Dumble’s reactions to the “When Harry Killed Tommy” scene.
And the Great and Powerful Kinsfire (he loves it when you call him that) for his suggestion that improved the Patil scene…
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