Categories > TV > Bones

Craziest Things

by slayergirlkal 0 reviews

Booth and Brennan talk about the craziest things they’ve ever done over a few bottles of rum.

Category: Bones - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2008-04-12 - Updated: 2008-04-13 - 1887 words - Complete

Temperance Brennan snuggled into her partner’s embrace.

“Give me that!” Tempe shouted as Booth grabbed the bottle from her grasp.

“Have you ever heard of sharing Bones?” Booth yelled back. “I want some too so deal with it,” He finished by taking another large gulp from the bottle of rum. He was rewarded with a sharp slap to the face and Tempe grabbing the large bottle from his hands.

“I’m not sharing my rum with you,” She said as she took a large gulp of the substance. The large gulp was followed by a very unladylike burp. The bottle was quickly drained and soon Tempe had run out into the kitchen of her apartment in search of more. When returning to Booth with the fresh bottle she handed it to him. “I’ll share this one with you but only because you’re my friend, and you’re very attractive when I’m drunk,” She added with a giggle.

“Come here Bones,” He whispered as he pulled her into his lap and pulled the blankets up around them. She snuggled her head into his chest and allowed him to wrap his arms around her. They lay there in comfortable silence for 15 minutes before Temperance decided to break it.

“What is the craziest or stupidest thing you’ve ever done Booth?” Tempe whispered.

“You mean besides get drunk with you,” He joked.

“Hey, you’re not being nice,” Tempe pouted.

“Going after Ortez when he put a hit out on you, I could have lost my job if anyone found out about that. That was stupid and if I could go back and change things I’d have killed him,” Booth added. “No one hurts my Bones,” He slurred.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink,” She slurred just as Booth had.

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done Bones?” Booth asked.

“Um,” Tempe thought. “There was this guy that Angela was dating she was totally in love with this guy, they’d been together for two years. I can’t remember his name right now though,” Tempe added before going into deep thought attempting to remember the man’s name. “Oh it was Kevin,” She said. “Well they moved in together, but Ange still had her apartment ‘cause she hadn’t moved all of her stuff in yet,” Tempe paused before continuing. “And so one night Angela comes home and finds out that Kevin had been sleeping with someone else behind her back during the last year of their relationship,” Tempe stopped only because Booth interrupted her.

“But that has nothing to do with you Bones,” Booth cut in. “Unless you were the one he was sleeping with,” Booth added.

“I’m a better friend then that Booth. And I’m getting there okay, so don’t interrupt,” Tempe said. “As I was saying, he broke Ange’s heart so I being the good friend I am helped her move all of her stuff back into her apartment. I helped her unpack most of her stuff and then went to the most important places that need to be visited after a bad breakup.”

“And what are those places Bones?” Booth asked.

“Stop interrupting me!” Tempe yelled before continuing. “The grocery store, the bakery, and the liquor store, are the most important.” Upon the look of confusion on Booth’s face Temperance continued. “You’ve gotta have the essentials, ice cream, ice cream toppings, chocolate, donuts and most importantly alcohol.

“Ange and I had had so many margaritas I didn’t know until then that there were so many different kinds. The mango was the best,” Tempe added with a smile of remembrance. “And then there was the that banana liqueur I wasn’t really sure what to mix with it so Angela and I drank it straight from the bottle I don’t remember so well though, we had lots to drink I think we had some wine too but I’m not to sure,” Temperance’s speech had gone and she was stumbling to make sense. “You shouldn’t watch the porn channel when you’ve had too much to drink,” Tempe added.

“Wait you and Angela watched porn when you were drunk,” Booth was grinning. “I can’t see the two of you watching porn,” Booth finished with a laugh.

“Yeah until we decided that what they were doing on the television looked interesting and Angela and I did some stuff that embarrasses us still 3 years later,” Tempe ended with a blush that was very unlike her.

“Why does Angela always call you sweetie?” Booth asked as the room had grown silent.

“Wait Ortez put a hit out on me?” Bones asked as what Booth had said early hit her.

“Yeah he did that’s why I was late to the funeral,” Booth mumbled.

“And you going after him was the stupidest thing you’ve ever done. Come on Booth I had sex with Angela and you threatened some guy because he wanted to kill me. That’s weak Booth. I told you something crazy and that was stupid you can’t honestly tell me that’s the best you got.”

“Dating Tessa was another stupid thing I’ve done,” Booth added.

“Damn right that woman hated my guts and I didn’t do nothing to her,” Bones wasn’t talking right a sure sign of intoxication.

“It’s Angela’s way of being affectionate,” Tempe answered honestly getting back to the question Booth had asked before. “I love Ange to death, Temperance added. “I don’t know what I’d do without her. I mean we’re so different but she’s still my best friend,” She finished.

“Yeah you guys are pretty different,” Booth agreed. “I’m glad that we got to talk tonight Bones,” Seeley stated honestly. “And it’s nice to know that you think I’m attractive,” He added with a grin.

“You’re gonna tease me about that when I’m sober again aren’t you?” Tempe asked. Booth just smiled at her and then nodded. “Don’t tell Angela that I said that she’ll have a field day with that and she’s so annoying when she says that I should get away from the bones in the lab and jump your bones.” Booth laughed at Tempe’s comment.

“You have so had too much to drink. Give me that bottle,” He commanded as she held tightly to the rum.

“My rum,” Tempe giggled as she held the bottle out of his reach and jumped out of her bed. Booth jumped out after her and chased the drunken version of Tempe around her apartment until she tripped over a pillow and landed on her face.

“See this is why you should drink and run,” Booth joked before lifting her up and carrying her back to her bed. “Now Bones I think you should get some sleep it’s almost seven,” He whispered as he pulled the blankets up around her small form. He turned to walk out of the room but was stopped by her voice.

“Hey I want my pillow back,” She shouted. He turned back around and handed her another pillow but was grabbed back into the bed where Bones laid her head on his chest. “And you’re attractive when I’m sober too, just promise that you won’t tell David I said that,” She added the last part in a whisper. “He still thinks something is going on between us,” She added before her eyelids fell closed and her breathing became slow and even.

Booth watched her sleep for a few hours before he heard a banging on Temperance’s door. He made to get up hearing Bones mumble something about loosing a pillow made him look back. He forgot to look through the peephole and opened the door to yell at whoever was there. He found himself face to face with David.

“What are you doing here?” Booth asked upon seeing Dick431.

“What the hell are you doing at my girlfriend’s apartment at eight in the morning?” David fired back.

“I asked first,” Booth replied.

“I’m here to take Temperance to breakfast,” David answered.

“Well you’ll have to reschedule Bones just fell asleep a couple hours ago,” Booth said.

“No need to ask why she’d just be getting to sleep it’s obvious that I don’t mean anything to her if she’s sleeping with you,” David yelled. “You can tell her that we’re over!” David shouted before throwing down the flowers he had brought and storming off in the other direction. Booth followed.

“You have some nerve,” Booth said as he grabbed the man by the tag of his shirt. “You wanna break up with Bones you tell her yourself Dickhead,” Booth growled. “And you’ll do it in person,” He added.

The pair walked back to Temperance’s apartment to find Tempe wide awake and drinking a glass of ice water and downing some aspirin, she offered Booth a small smile when she saw him. Then she noticed David and her face lit up a little bit more.

“David what are you doing here?” Tempe asked not at all upset that he had showed up. He glared at her.

“We’re over Temperance!” He shouted. He noticed the confused look on her face and then the sadness and finally the anger.

“What the hell! Where was I when this happened?” Tempe asked genuinely confused.

“Probably fucking him,” David yelled pointing to Booth. Tempe turned her anger to Booth.

“What the hell Booth? Get your ass out of my apartment right now!” Temperance Brennan was beyond angry. “I really thought we were friends Booth, I trusted you,” She screamed.

“Bones, I didn’t tell him that he’s just jumping to conclusions. Go lay down Temperance,” Booth added softly.

“No not until someone tells me what is going on! Why is David breaking up with me and why does he think that we had sex?” Her questions were directed at Booth. Then she turned to face David and spoke calmly. “Booth and I are NOT having sex of any kind,” Temperance said placing strong emphasis on the word not. “And if we could reschedule this argument for a time when I’m not hung-over that’d be great.”

“You’re hung-over?” David asked and Tempe nodded. Then Bones walked over to Booth and gave him a hug.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you. You’re a really good friend and I’m glad that you were here last night and stopped me from finishing the rum,” She added with a smile. “Now if you’d please go home, because as I recall someone promised me breakfast.” Booth left without another word and Tempe was left to stare at David.

“Can we have breakfast tomorrow?” Temperance asked with a smile.

“No, because if I recall we broke up,” He shouted before leaving Tempe unhappy in her empty apartment. She walked over to the window and glance down to see Booth and David in a heated argument that ended with David walking away holding a bloody nose and Booth screaming “you stupid asshole she deserves better than you anyway.”
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