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Disclaimer: Summer’s over. Everybody out of the pool. Yes, you too, Narcissa. Year 2 will be bigger, badder, messier, and otherwise more… well, more than before.
And thank you, Gandalf the Green, for my series’ very first Omake. I’ve arrived!

Over the following week, in between fencing ‘lessons’, trips to the movies, and the occasional if inevitable homework interval, Harry and Hermione tried to figure out what Narcissa Malfoy was trying to do. None of the other wives told Hermione that they had any ideas- okay, any printable ideas- and no harm had come to any of them in the meantime despite Lucius’ less-than-warm welcome.

“Why did she say that what she gave us would cheer us up? I mean, her gifts cheer me up, but why the rest of you?” Harry decided to try a different approach to the question.

“Mum and Dad have been honest to me about sex, so far as they think I understand it,” Hermione responded, seeing a possible idea. “There are women who prefer the company of women, and men who prefer men. But they’re supposed to be a pretty small minority. On the other hand, there are eleven of us girls; maybe she figured that one of us had to be that way.”

“Wait… so she thinks one of you will leave me for her?” The gloom that Harry felt whenever he pondered the prospect of losing his wives returned anew.

“I can’t imagine ever leaving you,” Hermione said with fervor.

That stopped the conversation for a while, as Harry hugged Hermione tight and whispered a “Thank you” in her ear. Hermione responded in kind.

“Harry, I don’t think she wants to split us up directly so much as she wants us to start arguing with each other. We start thinking others are thinking about being disloyal. Then we start yelling whenever we have differences. Then we start fighting, and break up. That would do more damage than just having one wife leave.”

“That sounds terrible! How do we stop it?” Harry was almost yelling in alarm.

“Calm down, Harry. I trust you. The rest of your wives trust you. After we get back to Hogwarts, we’ll be able to talk to each other at any time,” Hermione said soothingly.

“Alright, Hermione,” Harry conceded. “I just wish I knew what was going on.”

“Well, maybe the Patils know something I don’t, and they can tell you on Sunday when you go over there,” Hermione stated. “I’ll ask the parents if I can stay for a night.”


On the sixteenth, Emmitt and Danielle took the children to see Chandra and Priya Patil. Their restaurant was in Kensington, not too far from the Grangers’ home or from Kings’ Cross, where Harry and the other wives would need to gather on 1st September.

The Patils refused to allow the Grangers to pay for dinner that evening, where they pulled out all the stops to give them the best meal possible. (Maybe they tried a little too hard. Emmitt’s and Danielle’s tongues were burning for three days afterward.) Parvati and Padma hugged Harry as soon as he arrived, making him feel a little better.

That evening Parvati and Padma joined Harry and Hermione in discussing The Great Narcissa Mystery.

“We’re not going to leave you, Harry,” the red-clad Parvati promised. “We think she’s trying…”

“To distract you from something. But obviously,” the blue-clad Padma continued.

“She would have a better idea of what than we would,” Parvati finished.

“How did you do that?” Harry interjected.

“Do what?” Padma and Parvati chorused.

“Finish each other’s sentences like that,” Hermione responded. “How did you understand each other’s thoughts that quickly?”

“Madam Pomfrey told us that magical siblings,” Parvati started.

“Have a mental connection that allows them to understand each other’s general patterns of thought,” Padma explained.

“That connection is much stronger in twins, and it’s even present in Muggle twins,” Parvati went on.

“She said that it’s a sign that there was once a time when everyone could do magic, but that was just her belief,” Padma concluded.

“Wow. What would life be like then?” Hermione thought.

“It’d probably be very strange,” Padma agreed.

“But I don’t know if it’s really true. Maybe it’s a sign that there was no magic until not too long ago,” Parvati argued.

“But Hogwarts has been around for over 1000 years,” Harry said.

“I did say it was just a theory. On the other hand, humans have been around for hundreds of thousands of years. Magic might be new compared to that,” Padma contended.

“I think we’ve gotten off the subject,” said Hermione.

“True,” Parvati conceded. “But you have to admit that it’s still kind of interesting.”

“Besides, it’s not like we’re making much progress here. Maybe a random thought will trigger an idea of what she’s up to.” With Padma’s statement, the four went to their separate rooms.


Over the next two weeks, Harry started to help the twins out at the restaurant. He carried plates, worked the register, and occasionally helped make dishes. (“Harry, if the magic doesn’t work out, I think we could use you as a chef,” Priya said. Harry beamed with pleasure.) The Patils expected the kids to work and paid them for their time and trouble, giving Harry the first Muggle money he’d ever had. He used it to get new shirts and jeans and to buy little gifts for his wives, such as new Muggle books for Hermione’s impending birthday and soft pillows for Mandy, who had complained that the Hogwarts ones were too firm.

On the 30th of August, Harry finally thought of a possible solution to the mystery. “That’s it!” he cried.

“What’s it, Harry?” asked Parvati and Padma together.

“I think I’ve got an idea of what the Malfoys might try to do. They know I’ll have to be at Kings’ Cross the day after tomorrow. They know we’ll all have to be there at eleven. Maybe they’ll try to attack us!”

“That sounds…” Padma said very slowly.

“Disturbingly plausible,” Parvati finished. “We need to arrive early then, and to stick together.”

“Can you call the other wives and see if they can all bring the other wives to The Leaky Cauldron tomorrow night?”

“Yes, we’ll definitely do that. Thanks, Harry,” Padma said.

“Thank me when we’re all safe and sound,” Harry said grimly.


So why did Narcissa present Harry with her gifts? As it happened, she was just coming down from one of those reasons.

The connections created with wizarding photos allow for a limited amount of emotional feedback. In other words, people at either end of the connection can get a general sense of the emotions felt by those at the other end. Even deceased people in wizarding photos can respond to summonses from the living if they are urgent enough.

Narcissa had copies of the pictures hanging on the walls of her boudoir. Since Lucius hadn’t entered it in years, that was considered quite safe. (Besides, she thought, Lucius is so wrapped up in himself that he might not think having dozens of pictures of yourself in your bedroom would be unusual.) The emotion Narcissa meant to excite was obvious- but she didn’t expect quite this much of it. Instead of getting a warm glow every few hours, she was finding herself excited to orgasm at least twice a day. She could not have imagined that Harry, growing up in such a straight-laced Muggle household, would have given the photos to his wives, but that was the only conclusion that she could reach from the amount of emotion that had poured through the pictures.

Still, she had received more satisfaction in the last month than she had throughout her entire marriage to date, and that was reason enough for her to supply them. When her heartbeat and pulse returned to normal, she called Dobby out and requested the instructions his master had given him for the 1st. When she heard them in detail, she smiled again. Lucius’ plan was going to work out perfectly- for her. For him, not so much.


The only wife who couldn’t arrive at the Leaky Cauldron on the evening of the 31st was Millicent, who couldn’t get a floo connection from Somerset until early the next morning. The others were all in rooms by nine o’clock that evening, and Professor Sinistra happened to be passing through shortly thereafter.

“Professor! Professor!” Harry called out. “I’m glad to see you again.”

“Now there’s an odd statement,” Sinistra said with amusement. “Didn’t you enjoy your summer?”

“Yes, we did,” Harry said while smiling. “But we’ve had some interesting things happen over the summer. Not necessarily bad things, but just things we’re wondering about. Have you heard anything about the Malfoys?”

“Not to my knowledge, Harry,” Professor Sinistra said. “He’s still head of the Board of Governors, but they haven’t changed the school rules this summer. What have you heard about them?”

“We ran into them at Lockhart’s book signing. He wasn’t a very happy man, and he was trying to make us uneasy,” Harry explained.

“He does enjoy that. I’ve seen enough of him at the Board’s functions,” said Sinistra.

“We got the impression that he was going to do something bad, but we have no idea what,” Harry said, recognizing just how little his family had figured out. “There may be something happening tomorrow at Kings’ Cross, although he didn’t say there was.”

“It’s kind of hard to know what to do with that little to go on.”

“I wish I knew more, but watch out for him. Maybe they’ll listen to you instead of a bunch of kids when something strange happens,” Harry pleaded.

“I’ll be careful, and I’ll tell Professor Trelawney to be careful. See you tomorrow,” finished Sinistra. Harry headed upstairs to his room, and fell asleep shortly thereafter.

The next morning, Millicent arrived at the Leaky Cauldron at 8:30. Rather than take any chances, they all immediately headed for Kings’ Cross, accepting a couple of hours’ boredom as the price of safety. They arrived just before nine, not noticing the small visitor trailing them.

Harry and the Patils were the first to walk up to the barrier between platforms nine and ten… which stayed obstinately solid. Backing up and walking faster produced the same result. And again. Each of the girls tried the barrier, without success.

“This must be it! Now what do we do?” wailed Hermione.

“We just keep trying and waiting. This barrier can’t stay up for very long without someone else noticing,” Lisa said, logically enough.

By 9:25, a small crowd was gathered at the wall separating the two platforms. Several more families had arrived at the barrier, only to find it refusing to give. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry spotted a red-haired boy and girl- at least one of them a Gryffindor, if the stickers on their trunks were any gauge- leaving the building. He shrugged.

Finally, a policeman came over. “What are you all waiting for?” he asked.

“There’s a problem with the…” Millicent started, but then stopped- a Muggle policeman couldn’t be much help with a magical barrier.

Just then, a pair of wizards came through the crowd to the barrier. “Sorry, but we’ve just gotten word from the Express wondering why no one’s come aboard. They opened the train’s doors at nine. What seems to be the problem?”

“None of us can get through the barrier,” said Lisa.

The two men felt the wall, pulled out some odd instruments, and finally gave it a good solid whack apiece. “Ah, I see the problem here. You’ve got an Obstruction Jinx here. Pretty powerful one. House-elf magic.”

“Can you fix it?” asked Hermione anxiously.

“Sure we can. You don’t think we aren’t prepared for house-elf accidents, do you? Maxie, Birtsy, do your worst.”

Two house elves in purple Ministry of Magic livery popped out of… somewhere, shielded from general sight by the two wizards. They made some sort of complex figures in the air, and within a minute, a loud pop signaled that their work was done.

“Thank you, gentlemen! Thanks, Maxie, Birtsy,” said Megan and several others as the crowd started working its way through the barrier. A Memory Charm was cast on the bobby who had watched the crowd gather and then dissipate, and by 9:35, Kings’ Cross looked like it did every September 1st. The Hogwarts Express departed without further incident.


Omake: Saying One Thing and Meaning Your Mother (my title)

"Potter! When my father gets through with you..."
"Oh please. Draco, All I have to do is floo your mother and your father will
be a whipped puppy."
"What in Merlin's name are you blabbering about now?"
"You mean you don't know?" At Draco's continued look of confusion, Harry
continued, "Not only did my dad shag your mom back when they were in
Hogwarts, after he married mum she took up with half the rest of the
Quidditch team."
"You lie!" Draco shouted thinking that Harry was just talking smack.
"Not at all. She confessed to boffing my dad after I shagged her a few weeks
after my birthday. She even showed me a few pictures of her, mum and dad in
Hogsmeade together, and one that had the three of them being, shall we say,
very friendly? Sissy gave me a diary from back then that said she had hopes
of being second wife, since it was obvious that mum would be first."