Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Dead On Arrival
The booming sound of the bass filtering through the speakers and the constantly bustling of the over anxious crowd caused her to clutch her camera just a little tighter as her dull white fingertips pressed into the black lens. It would be a lie for her to say that this setting wasn’t newly terrifying because after a nasty black eye, a few bruises and several stitches it was hard to forget what the last show she watched from the crowd did to her face.
Humidity hung heavy in the air of the far too small bar as the increasing body heat rose steadily from the crowd; it immediately reminded Ana of the time she and Patrick tried to have sex in the powder room after Easter dinner at his great Aunt Susan’s house while his family argued over a heated game of Pictionary just a flight of stairs below them. Quietly cursing to herself, less than audibly under her breathe, Ana shunned the gutter her mind had fallen into because just moments ago Patrick took the stage and there would always be something about seeing him up on that platform, performing under those lights that would only lead to bad decisions and regret.
Enthusiasm and excitement floated up from the crowd around her, bringing out the best and worst memories and as she snapped away at the flash bulb on her camera, regret took home in the part of her memory that had just moments ago been harboring such dirty thoughts. The way the crowd reacted to the show, to the music; mouthing along all of the words to those songs Patrick had started writing when they were 17 years old all reminded Ana of what she had missed out on and what she could never get back. It was a sad trip down memory lane as she tried to focus on her work, forgetting about those first few shows they played when they were still in high school, just as they had formed the band, when Ana was trying her hardest to get Patrick to go to college before running off and chasing after his dreams.
Regardless of the relationship that had never formed back when it should have, Ana knew that she shouldn’t have bailed on him when she did, the way she did; she should have stuck around. Their friendship had survived such turmoil, making it through both the best and the worst of times but Ana chose to bail just as their lives were about to take the most dramatic turns yet; she should have been there to support him during the struggle and his rise to the top, no matter what. It’s hard for one to admit that they had been wrong, but it’s something that is even harder to admit when we know that there is nothing left for us to do; everyone has that moment, and for Ana, this was it.
It was an all too surreal moment and it seemed that this night was holding a much greater purpose than any other show she had once had the change of seeing and after nearly half of the set and a significant amount of snapshots later, Ana’s emotions had gotten the best of her and her intentions were suffering greatly. Flashing a smile at the security guard who graciously allowed her to pass from the crowd to safety, Ana blended in with Diaz and AJ, seeking refuge near the side of the stage.
Some time later, the cold winter air was filling Ana’s lungs as she perched on top of a picnic table outside of their hotel, lost somewhere near the parked, idle tour buses. For late November, the night sky was unusually cloudless and the stars sparkled so beautifully above her head as she laid her back against the cool wooden table top, observing the galaxy shimmering above her.
Puffs of air filled the void space before her lips with each exhale as she pulled her jacket tighter around her body and her lips curled into a smirk as his voice filled the air, rising up through the night sky with each visible breath passing out over his overworked lips.
“If you fall asleep there we won’t hesitate to leave you.”
“Peter Wentz” she smiled coolly, her hands returning to the wooden boards, resting comfortably at her sides as she scooted over and made room for his slender body, “such a compassionate soul.”
With a silent smile, Pete carefully climbed to the top of the table, pulling his casted foot behind him ever so gently before mirroring her lounging position with his back against the table, admiring the starry night sky. There was a void in Ana’s voice, one that he had recognized easily as the same void apparent in every word that passed Patrick’s lips, and he frowned involuntarily as she offered her praise.
“Tonight was amazing.”
“Thanks for coming out” Breathing heavy on purpose now, it was amusing to watch each exhale collect in a puff of smoke before his lips, “I know this isn’t easy.”
“Anything for you boys” Ana forced out a smile this time as a momentary silence settled over them, suffocating the darkness.
With a heavy sigh, purposely to see his breath and involuntarily because of the matter at hand, Pete broke into the conversation he had yet to conduct with anyone, putting it all on the line, “I know that you hate her, and everything so you’re probably not going to be happy to hear it, but I’m going to marry Marina.”
Involuntarily smiling to herself, Ana was amused by the nervous tone and shake in his voice as he struggled to continue. Immediately, her mind drifted off to the conversation Pete and Patrick must have once had when Patrick had popped that oh so coveted question to her, in which her smile had now turned so unhappily upside down.
“I asked her last week, we haven’t told anyone yet, so you’re the first.”
“I’m flattered and terribly happy for you.” Ana smiled sincerely, because it would be a lie to feel any other way, “Congratulations. Regardless of our lack of understanding for each other, I know how happy she makes you, and I’m more than happy for you.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.”
After another few forced breaths, Pete read her mind, because somehow, he always had that gift. “You didn’t bail and miss out on anything.”
Ana raised her eyebrow at the sky, parting her lips to question his explanation, but not finding a moment to express her concern before he was continuing his conversational adventure. “I know what you’re thinking, that you’re terrible for missing everything that had happened between when we started and now, but it’s okay, you didn’t miss much.”
“How do you know these things?” Ana chuckled lightly, amused at the skills Pete somehow possessed.
“It’s a gift” He happily returned her infectious snicker, “But I’m serious, you didn’t miss anything and it doesn’t make you a bad friend. There’s no use beating yourself up over it now, it’s in the past and life is just too short, you know.”
Pete’s words were still having heavy in the air as their breaths became synchronized, pushing past their lips at equal intervals. With one smooth motion, Pete pushed himself up from the table and gently slid to the ground, slapping his hand off of Ana’s thigh lightly before offering his hand to her.
“Alright kiddo, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
Silence hung heavily in the air of the bus as Ana pulled herself up the stairs, smiling kindly at Rob, their bus driver as the doors slid shut behind her. Within seconds the wheels of the buss were off and rolling beneath her feat and she quietly cursed to herself as her clumsy feet stumbled and tripped through the door to the bunks. Andy had passed out tonight, the moment his head hit the pillow and Ana made it a point to be quieter than usual as she hurried to rummage through her bunk for pajama pants, a t-shirt and her toothbrush.
Patrick was lying away in his bed just beyond the sliding wood door, willing his eyes to fall closed with sleep as he listened to her shuffling through her bags before stumbling to the bathroom. Finally, some time later his eyes were beginning to fall shut when he heard her return and patiently awaited the deafening silence that would soon come as she settled down for sleep. Must to his surprise, that silence never came and just moments later the door to his room was sliding open as her tired feet shuffled through. By now, his eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness of the moonlit bedroom and it was hard to mistake that solemn expression taking over her facial features as she crawled into bed and cuddled up close without speaking a word.
A sad sigh escaped past his lips as he wrapped his free right arm around her body and pulled her close. Sounding strained in the late evening silence, his voice echoed in her ear, “I don’t want to lose you.”
With a similar sigh, Ana’s hand had met with the hand he had resting lightly on his chest and with a deep but quiet breath, she laced their fingers together, whispering a quiet, “I know” before sleep began to settle over their heavy eyelids.
Humidity hung heavy in the air of the far too small bar as the increasing body heat rose steadily from the crowd; it immediately reminded Ana of the time she and Patrick tried to have sex in the powder room after Easter dinner at his great Aunt Susan’s house while his family argued over a heated game of Pictionary just a flight of stairs below them. Quietly cursing to herself, less than audibly under her breathe, Ana shunned the gutter her mind had fallen into because just moments ago Patrick took the stage and there would always be something about seeing him up on that platform, performing under those lights that would only lead to bad decisions and regret.
Enthusiasm and excitement floated up from the crowd around her, bringing out the best and worst memories and as she snapped away at the flash bulb on her camera, regret took home in the part of her memory that had just moments ago been harboring such dirty thoughts. The way the crowd reacted to the show, to the music; mouthing along all of the words to those songs Patrick had started writing when they were 17 years old all reminded Ana of what she had missed out on and what she could never get back. It was a sad trip down memory lane as she tried to focus on her work, forgetting about those first few shows they played when they were still in high school, just as they had formed the band, when Ana was trying her hardest to get Patrick to go to college before running off and chasing after his dreams.
Regardless of the relationship that had never formed back when it should have, Ana knew that she shouldn’t have bailed on him when she did, the way she did; she should have stuck around. Their friendship had survived such turmoil, making it through both the best and the worst of times but Ana chose to bail just as their lives were about to take the most dramatic turns yet; she should have been there to support him during the struggle and his rise to the top, no matter what. It’s hard for one to admit that they had been wrong, but it’s something that is even harder to admit when we know that there is nothing left for us to do; everyone has that moment, and for Ana, this was it.
It was an all too surreal moment and it seemed that this night was holding a much greater purpose than any other show she had once had the change of seeing and after nearly half of the set and a significant amount of snapshots later, Ana’s emotions had gotten the best of her and her intentions were suffering greatly. Flashing a smile at the security guard who graciously allowed her to pass from the crowd to safety, Ana blended in with Diaz and AJ, seeking refuge near the side of the stage.
Some time later, the cold winter air was filling Ana’s lungs as she perched on top of a picnic table outside of their hotel, lost somewhere near the parked, idle tour buses. For late November, the night sky was unusually cloudless and the stars sparkled so beautifully above her head as she laid her back against the cool wooden table top, observing the galaxy shimmering above her.
Puffs of air filled the void space before her lips with each exhale as she pulled her jacket tighter around her body and her lips curled into a smirk as his voice filled the air, rising up through the night sky with each visible breath passing out over his overworked lips.
“If you fall asleep there we won’t hesitate to leave you.”
“Peter Wentz” she smiled coolly, her hands returning to the wooden boards, resting comfortably at her sides as she scooted over and made room for his slender body, “such a compassionate soul.”
With a silent smile, Pete carefully climbed to the top of the table, pulling his casted foot behind him ever so gently before mirroring her lounging position with his back against the table, admiring the starry night sky. There was a void in Ana’s voice, one that he had recognized easily as the same void apparent in every word that passed Patrick’s lips, and he frowned involuntarily as she offered her praise.
“Tonight was amazing.”
“Thanks for coming out” Breathing heavy on purpose now, it was amusing to watch each exhale collect in a puff of smoke before his lips, “I know this isn’t easy.”
“Anything for you boys” Ana forced out a smile this time as a momentary silence settled over them, suffocating the darkness.
With a heavy sigh, purposely to see his breath and involuntarily because of the matter at hand, Pete broke into the conversation he had yet to conduct with anyone, putting it all on the line, “I know that you hate her, and everything so you’re probably not going to be happy to hear it, but I’m going to marry Marina.”
Involuntarily smiling to herself, Ana was amused by the nervous tone and shake in his voice as he struggled to continue. Immediately, her mind drifted off to the conversation Pete and Patrick must have once had when Patrick had popped that oh so coveted question to her, in which her smile had now turned so unhappily upside down.
“I asked her last week, we haven’t told anyone yet, so you’re the first.”
“I’m flattered and terribly happy for you.” Ana smiled sincerely, because it would be a lie to feel any other way, “Congratulations. Regardless of our lack of understanding for each other, I know how happy she makes you, and I’m more than happy for you.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.”
After another few forced breaths, Pete read her mind, because somehow, he always had that gift. “You didn’t bail and miss out on anything.”
Ana raised her eyebrow at the sky, parting her lips to question his explanation, but not finding a moment to express her concern before he was continuing his conversational adventure. “I know what you’re thinking, that you’re terrible for missing everything that had happened between when we started and now, but it’s okay, you didn’t miss much.”
“How do you know these things?” Ana chuckled lightly, amused at the skills Pete somehow possessed.
“It’s a gift” He happily returned her infectious snicker, “But I’m serious, you didn’t miss anything and it doesn’t make you a bad friend. There’s no use beating yourself up over it now, it’s in the past and life is just too short, you know.”
Pete’s words were still having heavy in the air as their breaths became synchronized, pushing past their lips at equal intervals. With one smooth motion, Pete pushed himself up from the table and gently slid to the ground, slapping his hand off of Ana’s thigh lightly before offering his hand to her.
“Alright kiddo, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”
Silence hung heavily in the air of the bus as Ana pulled herself up the stairs, smiling kindly at Rob, their bus driver as the doors slid shut behind her. Within seconds the wheels of the buss were off and rolling beneath her feat and she quietly cursed to herself as her clumsy feet stumbled and tripped through the door to the bunks. Andy had passed out tonight, the moment his head hit the pillow and Ana made it a point to be quieter than usual as she hurried to rummage through her bunk for pajama pants, a t-shirt and her toothbrush.
Patrick was lying away in his bed just beyond the sliding wood door, willing his eyes to fall closed with sleep as he listened to her shuffling through her bags before stumbling to the bathroom. Finally, some time later his eyes were beginning to fall shut when he heard her return and patiently awaited the deafening silence that would soon come as she settled down for sleep. Must to his surprise, that silence never came and just moments later the door to his room was sliding open as her tired feet shuffled through. By now, his eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness of the moonlit bedroom and it was hard to mistake that solemn expression taking over her facial features as she crawled into bed and cuddled up close without speaking a word.
A sad sigh escaped past his lips as he wrapped his free right arm around her body and pulled her close. Sounding strained in the late evening silence, his voice echoed in her ear, “I don’t want to lose you.”
With a similar sigh, Ana’s hand had met with the hand he had resting lightly on his chest and with a deep but quiet breath, she laced their fingers together, whispering a quiet, “I know” before sleep began to settle over their heavy eyelids.
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