Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Like A Knife

Missing To Us, Finding Themselves

by PanicxFOBx4Everx 0 reviews

Ryan feels betrayed when he discovers Pete with Cammy. Will he let himself break down in front of everybody?

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2008-04-26 - Updated: 2008-04-27 - 1057 words

Like A Knife Part 19

Upon arriving at Pete’s house, we quickly rushed to the door and found it to be locked.

“Shit. Where could they be?” I wondered out loud.

“Do you want to try Cammy’s place?” Brendon suggested, a worried look on our face. I could see by the reflection in his eyes that mine looked similar.

“Yeah, I just want to make sure they’re okay. I’m worried that something might have happened to them,” I admitted. To be honest, I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen them; I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit what I was thinking, either.

“All right. Let’s go check there, then,” Brendon said, taking charge of the situation. I couldn’t quite figure out who was more worried; him or me.

We pulled into Cammy’s driveway, not far from mine or Pete’s. The lights were out and the door was locked.

“This is the way I left the house last night. She couldn’t have come back here,” Brendon informed me.

“Where the Hell could they be?!” I asked him. I tried calling Pete again, but got no answer. I ran my hand through my brown hair, a little bit frustrated and very much anxious to find out what had happened that kept them from answering their phones.

“Maybe they’re at the mall or something,” Brendon wondered.

“But why wouldn’t they answer their phones?” I said, squashing the idea.

“It never hurts to look,” He replied, getting into the car. He backed up out of her driveway and began in the direction of the mall.

I sat in the passenger seat, hyperventilating like a worried father wondering where his daughter was after curfew. As we drove by, I noticed a car sitting on the side of the street, just past the high school. It seemed all too familiar.

“Shit! Pete’s car is back there. I’m not sure why he’d be parked there…” I said, on the verge of screaming. Brendon stopped his car and we walked over to Pete’s. “Damn it. Why would they be here? Anything could have happened to them.”

We looked inside the car, everything where it should be. Everything but the keys; they were missing. The doors were locked, but there was a path of broken twigs and moved leaves leading into the brush. Brendon immediately picked up on it as soon as I did, and we both knew to follow it. As we followed the trail or snapped branches and weighed down leaves on the ground, memories came rushing back to me.

“Ry, where are you taking me?” Cammy asked curiously as I led her through the woods. She was completely unsure of where we were heading, which made it all the more worth it.

“Somewhere worth going,” I replied, giving her a smile. Our first year of high school was over; we were nearing the end of our time together. I wasn’t sure what she was going to college for; and at that, I didn’t know what I was going for, either. But I knew that we would be leaving each other if our band didn’t work out.

We finally came to the meadow. I watched as her beautiful eyes that melted me every time I saw them lighted up in amazement. She ran to the center of the clearing and hurled herself to the ground, lying in the luscious green grass. I lay next to her.

“This is amazing!” She cried ecstatically.

“I know. I thought you deserved something incredible like this,” I said without thinking. I kept my face towards the sky as to make sure she couldn’t see the embarrassment the coloring in my cheeks was showing.

We finally entered that memorable meadow, and the next few words of the memory came rushing into my head almost all too quickly. I gaped as I saw Pete and Cammy, lying in the center of the grassy clearing, asleep. They looked so content, as content as she and I were the day I brought her here. I couldn’t help but feel just more than a tinge of jealousy, maybe even a hint of anger.

“Ry,” She said, watching the clouds. “I wish things could stay this way forever.”

“Me too,” I replied sincerely. “Me too. I promise, if I can keep them this way, I will.”

I didn’t keep that promise.

But Pete had.

“Ry, are you okay?” I heard Brendon ask me. I didn’t realize I was in a state of shock, wishing so desperately that that was me. I tried to stay composed, to remain my normal self for Brendon’s sake, but the tears threatened to appear for the first time in a long time.

Everybody was stealing her away from me. I was letting her slip away from me, and it hurt to know I had missed my chance. My one chance for true, genuine happiness.

“Bren, do you think…Do you think she loves him?” I wondered, wanting to know his opinion.

“I don’t know, Ryro. Honestly, her emotions are too much for me to comprehend,” Brendon replied.

“You and I alike, Bden,” I sighed, praying not to break down in front of him. Or even worse, to break down in front of her. I couldn’t let her see me that way. “It’s just…Sometimes I wonder. That’s all.”

And with that, I began to walk away.

“You’re just going to leave them here?” Brendon asked, as I turned my back on them.

“Yes…I’m going to let them be happy,” I stated.

Seeing as how I can’t.

“I’ll be in the car. You can wait here for them to wake up, if you want,” I informed him, making my way back to his car. He did as I suggested, taking a gentle seat on the ground far away from them, watching the nature around him. I was leaving her to be swept away by some of my closest friends, watching her drift farther away from me every second.

I reached the car, stepped inside, and tried to strangle my well deserved sobs that finally decided to show up.

I needed to get her back.
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