Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Like A Knife

Bleeding In All Of Our Desperation And Misery

by PanicxFOBx4Everx 0 reviews

Ryan lets Cmmy stay over for the night. Will things get awkward?

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2008-04-26 - Updated: 2008-04-27 - 1518 words

Like A Knife Part 31

I drifted out of my reverie, full of nostalgia and not content in the least. I remembered each and every detail with such vivid color, such amazing clarity that I scared myself. I guess I just couldn’t forget that day.

When Cammy opened my door, I became startled, but soon calmed once I realized it was her.

“Ry?” She asked in a whisper. “Are you awake?”

I didn’t want to let her know that I was, so I didn’t answer. Unsatisfied, she walked in and slid into bed next to me, still in her clothes. I rolled over and pulled her close to me, resting her head on my bare chest and allowing my chin to lie on her hair.

“So you are awake,” She murmured.

“Well…yeah,” I replied, wrapping my arms around her.

This girl couldn’t take a hint. I was in bed with her, holding her close to me like the world depended on it. ‘Just friends’ didn’t lie in bed with each other as far as I knew. I was rarely in bed with Keltie to put it into better perspective.

“I’m sorry I wouldn’t answer you before…” She apologized sweetly.

“It’s all right, Cams. It’s just…You’re going to be twenty one in about three weeks. You’re going to be an official adult, and you can’t always have me looking out over you, you know. You could have…” I began. It hurt to say it. “You could have killed yourself tonight.”

“I-I know,” She stuttered. “That was really stupid of me.”

“Don’t put it on yourself. Yeah, it was stupid, but maybe what happened made you do it. When you feel like talking about it, let me know,” I explained to her. I wondered if she could see how red my face was when she out one of her hands on my chest.

“You’re a great friend, Ryro…” She said tiredly.

“Good night, Cammy,” I said to her, returning the drowsiness.

I was tempted to say ‘Cammykins’, but that seemed to be Brendon’s thing.

“Ry?” She said a few minutes later, her eyes opening once again. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Cams,” I replied.

She had no idea that I meant it the way she did.


Cammy lay there, looking perfect in every way, next to me. Her dark hair cascaded from her head down past her shoulders, her all seeing green eyes closed, and her arms were thrown carelessly around my body. She wasn’t like other girls; there was something different about her that deserved to be seen by the world. If she ever needed a job, I could always have Keltie get her a modeling job, but that would mean that she had to leave me. I’m not sure how I would cope with that.

“Morning…” She sighed, letting a yawn escape her mouth. I let my mouth morph into a smile at her cuteness, wishing that I could hold her in my arms and call her my own. “What?” She asked, wondering about my grin.

Be like Brendon, I thought to myself. Tell her how adorable she is.

“Nothing,” I replied hastily. Damn it.

“It’s already half past noon,” She pointed out. “Half the day is gone.”

“Not necessarily. That all depends on when your day ends,” I answered.

“You rhymed. That was cute,” She giggled, brushing her delicate hand through my light brown hair resting atop my head. “I need to go take a shower.”

“Okay. You do that,” I said to her, the smile never seeming to leave. As soon as she had left the room, I was down stairs making myself some toaster waffles. I made some for Cammy as well, placing them on plates and sliding them onto my kitchen table. She was out about twenty minutes later, her hair damp and her eyes beaming when she saw her breakfast.

“Thank you, Ry. I was starving!” She exclaimed, eating them with a smile on her face. I was soaking every moment of her glee and bliss.

“Hey, Cams, what do you say we get everybody together and go swimming at Spence’s house?” I suggested, sipping some orange juice. “Like old times?”

“All right, is there something that says to people ‘Bring me back to old times’ written on my face? That’s all I’ve been hearing lately. Does it ever occur to any of you that maybe I want to live life in the present instead of pretending that it was years ago? Because instead of reliving memories, I like making new ones, and that’s tough when all I do is try to imagine we’re all the same as we were in high school,” She blew up.

“Whoa, sorry,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you mad, Cams… It’s just…I was thinking about things last night. I kind of wish they were the same, too,” I finally admitted, like a stone was lifted from my shoulder. “I have a feeling we all do. Everything was so great back then, and then K-” I stopped myself. I couldn’t admit to her that Keltie had been the downfall of everything, that she was the reason almost all of us were unhappy.

In reality, she was.

“I don’t have a bathing suit,” She tried to procrastinate.

“We’ll go shopping,” I retorted.

“…Fine,” She said upon finishing her waffles. “But only because you want me to.”

She seemed hesitant. “Cams…” I began.

“What?” She wondered, seeming irritated.

“We won’t invite Keltie,” I said, watching as her misery blossomed into delight. “I’m going to go get dressed. Can you call everyone up to see if they’ll meet us at Spence’s in about an hour?” I suggested.

“Yeah,” She agreed. “Sure.” I began to walk out, down the hallway. “Oh, and Ry?” She put in.

“What, Cammy?” I asked, halfway out of the room.

“Blue is your color,” She said, giggling. I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about, so I just smiled and continued to my room to find some clothes to wear. I figured I would buy a new bathing suit today as well, as I needed a different one.

I grabbed a pair of tight skinny jeans and a turquoise tee shirt from my closet and walked into the bathroom. My eyes widened as I looked in the mirror.

Blue is your color.

As I stared at myself in the mirror, I gaped at the blue graffiti like markings on my face. There were rainbows, stars, my name, a unicorn, a cupcake, and the word ‘dork’ written in huge letters right in the middle of my forehead. I had big, thick glasses drawn around my eyes, and a large moustache under my nose. Without getting dressed yet, I ran downstairs and to the front door, realizing Cammy had already bolted outside.

She was in my front lawn, just staring at me from numerous feet away. I smiled and ran towards her, but, knowing that she was in trouble, she started running away from me.

“Cammy!” I yelled, catching up to her.

She resisted me when I grabbed her arm and continued her pursuit. We were laughing with each other every bit of the way, until I had her in my arms and up against my chest. We were on the ground in a second, laying in the flawlessly green grass, massive smiles painted on our faces. A car pulled into my driveway and, quite predictably, Brendon stepped out from the driver’s seat.

“Whoa…” Brendon said, upon seeing us on the ground. I stood up and helped Cammy soon after to her feet. “Was I interrupting?”

“No,” Cammy said.

At the exact same time, I had replied, “Yes.”

He eyed us suspiciously, a classic Brendon Urie face watching over us.

“I just wanted to see what you were doing, Ry, because I’m fucking bored,” Brendon explained to me. “And I come into your yard to find you…Wrestling Cammy, with blue marker all over your face.”

“We weren’t wrestling, Brennybear,” Cammy insisted. “Just joking around.”

“We were actually planning to go swimming at Spence’s house today, but we need to go shopping for some bathing suits. Do you want to come with us?” I asked, dodging the subject of why Cammy was here in the first place.

“Everyone else is coming,” Cammy added, as if she was pleading him to stay. “It’ll be fun.”

Just a moment ago, she had thought this was all a dumb idea, and she was only going because I wanted her to.

“Yeah, I’ll come,” Brendon agreed. I’m not sure if he would have done the same thing if it was me explaining that it would be fun. “Like old times. I miss those.”

And all of our misery was a knife that pierced our lives, leaving them wounded and unable of being repaired.
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