Categories > Anime/Manga > Bleach

Don't Fear The Healer

by neongeisha 2 reviews

Kenpachi learns once again not to judge a book by its cover.

Category: Bleach - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Romance - Characters: Other - Published: 2006-02-13 - Updated: 2006-02-14 - 599 words - Complete

"This is the first time I've had to heal you, Zaraki-taichou." Unohana says in her mild, sweet tone when Kenpachi comes to after losing to that Kurosaki brat.

Kenpachi grunts noncommitally, but at the same time, he looks up at her, all kind-eyed and soft-featured and motherly, and wonders why in the hell the entire 4th division seems to be piss-scared of Unohana Retsu.

He decides to find out the answer to that question as soon as he can feel his limbs again, and maybe while he's at it, he can find out what kind of flowers she likes, too. Not that he likes her or anything, he reminds himself. Just to know.


Apparently, Unohana was so frightening to the few 4th division members he managed to talk to that didn't run away in abject fear at the mere sight of him, that none of them could tell Kenpachi exactly what made her so damn scary. It intrigues him, and he would be surprised if he hadn't learned not to judge a book by its cover the day Yachiru decided to take up swordfighting "just like Ken-chan".

The flower plan is not going as well as Kenpachi hoped.

Asking Kyouraku about the matter proved to be useless, as all he managed to get out of the conversation was a lot of goading and encouragement and offers of sake in celebration of what he called Kenpachi's "latent heterosexual desires finally coming to light", which Kenpachi was going to have to look up later on.

He didn't even think about going to his own division for advice. Those dumbfucks wouldn't know how to win a woman if it didn't involve dragging her away to a cave by her hair, save for that fruit Yumichika, who'd probably start planning the wedding the minute he got wind of the news.

As for the other captains...

Yamamoto-taichou? Kenpachi scrapped that idea in a hurry.

Soi Fong? Angry, anti-social, and probably gay.

Gin? If the fucker hadn't gone off to play with the Hollows, he'd probably suggest something like showing up in her bedroom, naked and giftwrapped.

Aizen? Wouldn't help even if he was here. The guy was a pedophile anyway.

Byakuya? Ha.

Komamura? Not the most social of guys. Er, dogs.

Kyouraku? Been there, done that, got confused.

Kaname? Hollow-land.

Hitsugaya? It would help if he hit puberty first.

Mayuri? FUCK NO.

Ukitake? Kenpachi never saw him as being into chicks, to be honest.

Unohana doesn't seem like the kind of woman who'd go for flowers, the more Kenpachi thinks about it.

This is going to be a challenge.

Kenpachi likes challenges.


The chance comes when Kenpachi lands himself (entirely NOT on purpose, he reminds himself once again) in the 4th division headquarters after a rematch with Kurosaki, consoling himself with the fact that the brat managed to get himself knocked out too.

Unohana is changing his bandages, fingers working, deft and experienced, up his arm and over his shoulder. Kenpachi leans up, kisses her, and is honestly shocked when she doesn't pull away.

When they break the kiss, she smiles that inscrutable smile of hers. "A simple thank you would have sufficed, Zaraki-taichou."

She finishes her work, and with a decidedly un-demure look in her dark eyes, kisses him again.

"What can I say? I'm a grateful kind of guy." Kenpachi grins.

She rises from her chair, turns to leave, smiling over her shoulder at him, and Kenpachi decides that no matter how many times he'd have to get his ass kicked to do it, it'll be worth it to see that smile.
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