Categories > Games > Kingdom Hearts > Losing the Melody

Seeking Solace

by Xanrivash 0 reviews

Number 5, Seeking Solace. Demyx wants to apologize, but he's not sure he can.

Category: Kingdom Hearts - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama - Characters: Axel,Demyx - Published: 2008-04-30 - Updated: 2008-04-30 - 866 words

Demyx took a deep breath before knocking on the door. He hadn't come close enough to talk to Axel in days - not surprisingly; if their positions had been reversed, he wouldn't even want to be in the same building as Axel. In fact, if he'd caught Axel in the hallway discussing suicide with the voices in his head, he'd have turned around and run, and not waited to get socked in the face before getting Vexen, Lexaeus, and Xaldin to chase him down and "escort" him back to Vexen's lab. Though Axel probably would have been dragged off seriously fighting and probably throwing fire around, not just screaming in panic and trying to wriggle free.

That had been so horrible, so terrifying...and so humiliating, coming back into line with reality and finding himself under armed guard and physical restraint...

There was a muffled response on the other side of the door; Demyx couldn't make out a word. He knocked again, louder, and Axel opened the door this time, sporting a massive black eye that was starting to turn green and yellow around the edges. He took a wary step back when he saw who it was. "Do you want something?" he asked, ready to slam the door in Demyx's face if he didn't like the answer.

"" Demyx stood there for what seemed like an eternity, with Axel staring at him, as he tried to get his voice to work again. He remembered all too well the mocking tone of the voice- Oh, guess who you just punched out? That was Axel!"I...wanted to...apologize for...what happened." Axel nodded cautiously. "It's not...gonna happen again...I swear..." It was - hopefully - true; Vexen was weaning him off the prednisone as quickly as possible, but the redhead looked doubtful. "And, um...thanks for telling Vexen what was going on, instead of...anyone else." Dammit, why couldn't he say a whole sentence at a time?"And...thanks for not just slamming the door on me. I'll leave you alone now."

He turned to go, but Axel caught his shoulder. "Wait a second- what...going on? What was that?"

Demyx stood still for a long moment, wondering what to say. A little voice that came from nowhere suddenly barged in and tried to cloud his mind and take over his thoughts? That's what it felt like to him... He'd had an extremely rare medication-related psychotic episode, as Vexen put it? Well, Axel could probably figure that out for himself, except for the medication-related part... He'd been taking a drug with a laundry list of godawful side effects in an effort to preserve and maybe even restore his hearing? No...he couldn't say that...he didn't want anyone to know...he wanted everyone to think he could still hear normally...he wanted to hear normally...but the prednisone hadn't done a thing except fuck him up royally; it hadn't restored a single decibel in either ear, his hearing had actually gotten a little worse...

He shook his head. "I'm a fuckin' mess." Then he started to cry. Great, way to convince him I'm a little saner now...

Axel sighed and dragged him into the room. "Get your messed-up ass in here, then." While Demyx was still trying to figure out what was going on, Axel sat him down on the bed and stood there looking at him. "All right...Demyx - what the hell is going on with you?" Demyx couldn't say anything; he just sat there opening and closing his mouth like a fish. When Axel sat down next to him, unzipped his robe, and peeled it off his stick-thin arms, he couldn't do anything about it; he felt paralyzed. "Okay, what is this?" the redhead asked, pointing to the little red mark left from his last round of blood tests.

Kingdom Hearts...he thinks it's an injection mark...he thinks I'm on drugs... That only made Demyx cry harder. "It...not...what it looks like...I swear..." He tried his barely-coherent best to explain to Axel what was going on, without sharing any information he didn't want anyone else to know. It wasn't exactly successful, but at least he might have convinced Axel he wasn't shooting himself up with weird shit.

If so, his new impression wasn't much more accurate. "You mean that..." It was probably just as well Demyx couldn't hear what Axel thought Vexen was. "...been using you to experiment on?! Is that why...missions lately?! They've been...for a guinea pig?!"

"No..." Demyx shook his head, unable to continue. He felt so terrified, and helpless, and alone, and humiliated by this breakdown, and ashamed he'd turned into a complete emotional wreck when he couldn't feel any emotions at all, that was how weak he was, getting knocked for six by emotions he didn't even have, or shouldn't...

Axel draped a blanket over his shoulders and handed him a shot glass containing something amber that burned like fire on its way down. "You looked...needed that. Still do."

"Oh..." Demyx didn't know what to think, now that he obviously wasn't about to be kicked out into the hallway. "Thanks, Ax."
Sign up to rate and review this story