Categories > Games > Counter-Strike > T vs. CT: Dust2

Round Four

by Forge 0 reviews

Round 4!

Category: Counter-Strike - Rating: R - Genres: Action/Adventure, Humor, Parody - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2006-02-16 - Updated: 2006-02-16 - 936 words

/T Vs. CT: DUST2/
Gregory P. Wong

Round Four

Pheermee watched NoDice. The SEAL lazily twirled his Five-seveN, which had been the implement of death for several dozen Terrorists. Headshots, all those kills had been.
Hee hee hee...
The countdown timer ended, and it was fun time.

Mao, Caboose, and Soldier grinned as they executed their commands. Soldier knew that Pheermee would be doing his, too.

*amx_bury "[Myg0t]NoDice"*
The admin has buried [Myg0t]NoDice!

*Amx_heal [Myg0t]NoDice 10000*
[Myg0t]NoDice has been healed

"What the fuck, man?" Pheermee heard Dice say in annoyance as the rest of the team left to engage the enemy. Dice was buried up to his waist in the gritty sand. "Seriously, double-yew-tee-eff?"
Pheermee continued to buy guns from the little government kiosk and deposit them on the floor.
"We don't like hackers on this server," Pheermee said as he took off his SAS helmet and mask.
Dice rolled his eyes. Silly. "Dude, what do you care? I'm on your team. We're owning the Ts because--
"I want to own the Ts because we're better, not because of shits like you."
Pheermee was grinning, but it was the type of grin you'd expect a lion to make as it came upon a little crippled antelope.

*amx_unbury "[Myg0t]NoDice"*
The admin has unburied [Myg0t]NoDice!

*Enable Friendly Fire*

Pheermee cracked his knuckles, which now looked very, very large to the hacker.
"Sorry, Dice, but you are now irrevocably fucked."
"Uh... oh shit!" whimpered the other CT.

DC stopped for a moment--after shooting the lone Mao, of course--and listened in on his radio. For some reason, Pherbee had left the mic on...
"Oh mommy! Ahh ahh ahh!" came the screams of a hacker over the radio.
He heard a wet meaty noise, like a side of beef chucked punted into a wall.
"Oh shit! That was my--ARGH! Not that! Leave my--FUUCK! Get your hands away from my--NOOO!"

Pheermee hummed a completely corrupted "Jingle Bells" as he took the back of Dice's head and slapped his face into the boxes right next to CT homespawn.
"Wrestling through the dust, with a wimpy hacker close, oh what fun it is to beat a loser-Dice todaaaay, hey!"
"Not the face, not the face!" sobbed the SEAL as the large SAS smacked said cranial feature into the wood again. And again.
And again
Pheermee hummed some more as he took a hold on the battered CTs legs and swung the body like a really screwed up bat into the stone wall.
"Oh what fun it is to pwn a lousy hack todaaaay, hey!"
Pheermee, leaving a slightly smooshed SEAL on the wall, cracked his knuckles and stepped back to examine his handiwork. Hmm... the plastered CT looked almost peaceful.
Then Pheermee charged the hacker and leaped, feet first, at the pathetic body.
"Drop-kick, PS2 style, /BITCH/!" roared Pheermee as his massive feet met the hacker's body.
There was a strangely satisfying crunchy noise from that.
Pheermee rebounded, dropped to the floor, got back to his feet, and examined his handiwork. Not bad, not bad. Dice's own momma would probably shoot Dice now. Considering this carried over to real life, but meh.
The SAS purchased an HE from the government kiosk, and dropped it to the floor.
"Good day, you pathetic fuck!" he said with a smile as he walked away, cocking his Fa-mas's charging bar.

Dead Zone
"All done, Caboose!" Caboose heard Pheermee say cheerfully over the radio.
Caboose had bought it about a minute ago after Bob Long had blown his neck away with a deagle.
He smiled. Time for his best creation...

NoDice groaned. He'd have been dead after the first pile-drive, but the fucking admin had fucking kept him alive so that fucking living mountain could fuck him up. Fuckers.
He spied the HE grenade on the floor. Maybe he'd mess somebody up. It was possible to get a high-damage hit with an aimbot-aimed nade. Cool. Then he'd get a gun again, and someone was gonna get a hurting real bad. FF was still on, losers.
He reached for the HE and closed his fingers around it.

*amx-screw [Myg0t]NoDice*
The Admin has screwed [Myg0t]NoDice

"/I'M SORRY FOR BEING A LAMER, I SUCK/!" Dice croaked as loud as he could. What the hell? Where had that come from? Heh. Whatever.
Dice got back to his feet-not a bad effort, since almost all the bones in his left leg was broken-and panted for a moment. Woah, that had been a fucking harsh beating. Too bad. This HE had the SAS' name written all over it.
He pulled the pin from the grenade...
...And stuffed it into his mouth.
"Caboose: You've been screwed, you hacking loser lol," read the white text that suddenly appeared in the sky.
"Mao: Yep. Your faggotry has come to an end," said another message.
"Sceadu: Haha, you hacking piece of shit."
"Pheermee: You just got served."
"StreetSoldier: God, Caboose, I love the auto-suicide part of it..."
It was hard, with an HE grenade jammed into his mouth and all, but Dice managed a small "oh mommy!" before the grenade detonated.

The Counter-Terrorists barely scraped by with a win. It was probably due to the fact that everyone was laughing their asses off when Pheermee told them what had happened.

*the Brave lil Toaster has joined the Game*
*the Brave lil Toaster is joining the Counter-Terrorist force*
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