Categories > Books > Lord of the Rings > The Lord of the Jewels
4
Gandalf's Story
~~~
From The Silmarillion (Hardcover edition illustrated by Ted Nasmith):
P. 17: "These are the Maiar -- for though it is otherwise in Aman -- in Middle-earth the Maiar have seldom appeared in form visible to Elves and Men".
"My dear friends, Bilbo and Frodo", Gandalf started, "We have known each other a long time, but there is much I wish to explain about who I am exactly, and to clear up some mysteries for you. We have never really talked about this before. You may have many questions of me, which I will try my best to answer in a way that you will understand. For years you have believed that I was a wizard, an old man who possessed some magical powers. Did you ever wonder what a wizard was, in terms of race or species?"
Bilbo replied, "When I think of Saruman, I do wonder at the fact that wizards could actually be evil, because I sensed some similarities between Saruman and Sauron, and wondered if, in fact, they were of the same kind".
"It turns out that you were right, Bilbo, even if you were not aware of the real facts. Sauron is of the same race as Saruman and myself. We are called the Maiar, and there are many of us. The Maiar are of the same race also as the Valar, whom we serve, but of whom there are but a few. We possess many powers, one of which is the ability to change our appearance, or shape-shift, as that power is also called. As Istari wizards, the other wizards and myself took the guise of elderly men with long beards, and we dressed alike in long robes and carried staffs that contained within them some magical elements. As Gandalf the Grey, I had a much different appearance than Gandalf the White, and yet I also shared some similarity. There are many other Maiar as well, thousands of us, in fact, and although we do possess certain powers, we are not as powerful as the Valar themselves".
Frodo and Bilbo both stared at Gandalf in fascination and with a certain degree of horror.
"I cannot believe that you are of the same kind as Sauron!" exclaimed Frodo, "and I will admit that the idea that you can change your appearance frightens me more than a little!"
Bilbo nodded in agreement, and asked, "You were Sauron's equal?"
"I was Sauron's better!" replied Gandalf, "Because Sauron had foolishly put a great part of his power into the One Ring, they were thus bound to each other. When the Ring was destroyed, he was also. The Balrog of Moria, who destroyed me as Gandalf the Grey, was also a Maiar spirit, and was originally a servant of the evil Vala, Morgoth. As far as shape shifting, the Maiar and the Valar can assume any form that they wish; however, once a shape has been assumed and either has been destroyed or we wish to change it, then it can never again be used by that spirit. Also, if we change our shapes too often, our ability to do so weakens over time. This is true for the Valar as well".
Frodo and Bilbo stared at Gandalf with not a little fear in their hearts. "What is your real shape, if I may ask, although I am not sure that I wish to hear the answer?" Bilbo asked tentatively.
"Ah", replied Gandalf. "That is a good question".
Frodo jumped in at this point. "We all thought that you had died in Moria!" he exclaimed. "Are you saying that the Balrog that you did battle with there was your equal, and it can rise from the dead and become something else again?"
"Not exactly, Frodo", said Gandalf. "We both perished on that mountain-peak of Zirak-zigil, but I alone was sent back to complete the task I was chosen to do, and I was given greater powers with which to do it, as Gandalf the White Wizard. We cannot, of our own power, resurrect ourselves. Only Eru, the One, and some of the chosen Valar, can do this".
"Gandalf, would you please promise me something?" Frodo asked soberly. "Please tell me beforehand would you, if you plan to assume the shape of anything very big, or scary, or - "
Gandalf shook his head and laughed. He took a long drag of his pipe, and blew out a huge smoke ring. "I will continue my story, and perhaps that will make you feel better when you understand it. We Maiar are spirits whose real form is somewhat unfathomable by yourselves, who are real people of flesh and blood and bones. Our real shape is somewhat like bright flames of light. Do not be afraid, please. That is what we are in the spirit form, not of flesh and blood people of the earth. Many, many years ago, I was Manwe's servant. Manwe, as you know, is King of the Valar. He lives in a tower upon a mountaintop called Mt. Taniquetil, in the northern range of mountains called the Pelori. From there he can keep watch on the lands below and is aided by his great eagles, which bring him news, and help him when he needs them.
Manwe was, or is, Morgoth's twin brother. Morgoth was once called Melkor, but was re-named Morgoth by an elf named Feanor, a great elven prince of long, long ago. Morgoth means "dark enemy of the world", as indeed he was. Melkor chose evil over good, and was eventually overthrown by the other Valar after causing unfathomable damage to the world, to both Valinor and Middle-earth, when they used to lie side by side. The Valar captured him and threw him into the great Void which lies outside our world, where he dwells still, unseen, doing we know not what. However, as with Sauron in the end, Morgoth had also used up a lot of his powers in shape-shifting too many times, and he is therefore unable to take physical form ever again. However, it is possible that his presence could still return in some way, as yet unknown. The Valar and the Maiar have always been aware that one day, it is possible that Morgoth could return".
Gandalf paused for a while so that the hobbits could digest what he had just told them. Frodo thought that he detected an almost imperceptible shiver or something similar pass through Gandalf's features. At length, Gandalf continued.
"This story is an extremely complicated one, and for now, I am making it as brief and simple as I possibly can, because it is too much to digest at one sitting. With that said, I was chosen by Manwe to patrol Middle-earth, and I was sent here in the guise of an wizard, and was given greater powers than some of the other Maiar. I was also a ring-bearer, although not of the One Ring. I was given Narya the Great, the ring of red fire, by Cirdan, a great Eldar of the elves, and Lord of the Grey Havens. This ring also gave me more power while I was on Middle-earth. However, things in Middle-earth went terribly wrong when Isildur, ancient ruler of Gondor, did not destroy the One Ring after the last battle of the Second Age, after he had cut it from Sauron's hand. When the evil Sauron was not destroyed, then I was sent to Middle-earth. At about that same time, the race of hobbits also first appeared. When you came into possession of the One Ring, Frodo, and then brought it to its end, my task was done. I was sent to oversee the Ring's destruction, and to orchestrate certain events".
"Begging your pardon, Gandalf", said Frodo sadly, "but I did not destroy it, did I? That was down to Gollum in the end. But for his last act, I should have been lost to the Ring's power. Sauron's power", said Frodo, holding up his left hand with the missing forefinger.
"No, Frodo, you carried the Ring to the Crack of Doom", said Gandalf. "There was no one else who could have managed to do that. Please do not feel any guilt whatsoever. That task was appointed to you because you were - are - special, and you were, with much regret, sacrificed, if you will. What you do not know is that all of the events that occurred on Middle-earth during the War of the Ring were planned. After I fell in Moria, Eru, or Iluvatar, the One took me up, and he sent me back as the White Wizard to replace Saruman, who had fallen under the spell of evil. Cirdan gave to me the ring of fire, and I was sent to stop the remaining members of the Fellowship of the Ring from finding Merry and Pippin after they became separated from the others. In diverting those three hunters, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, away from finding Merry and Pippin, and going to Rohan instead, I set in motion a series of events that first, stopped Saruman from destroying Rohan, then caused the Ents to destroy Isengard and with it, Saruman's war machine. By so doing, I made Sauron stronger for a while as he was trying to get the Ring from Pippin, whom he mistakenly thought was in possession of it through seeing him in Saruman's Palantir. Now, do you have any questions of me?" Gandalf stopped to ask.
"It is rather a lot to digest at one sitting. My mind is befuddled. I thought you said that you were a servant of Manwe", said Bilbo.
"At one time I was", replied Gandalf, "but Eru had forbidden the Valar to interfere in any of the doings of Middle-earth. Therefore, he took over the command of me from Manwe for a while, and sent me back in order to vanquish Sauron. However, even I did not know exactly how events would unfold".
"Did you not take a huge chance by allowing Sauron to become stronger for awhile?" asked Frodo. "He almost destroyed the Gondorians".
"We put all our trust in you to get the Ring to Mount Doom, Frodo", said Gandalf. "I sent Sam to help you by putting into his mind the conviction to stay with you always, and help you he did. Then events were left to fall into place as we planned and hoped. Therefore the Ring and Sauron were destroyed". With that, Gandalf stood up, and brushed bits of crumbs and pipeweed off of his robes. He sighed. "I am reminded that I have one last chore to perform before I must go back", he said.
"Go back?" Bilbo and Frodo cried, in unison.
"Yes. Come along. We shall sleep here tonight on the Isle", said Gandalf. "Tomorrow we shall go across to Valinor, and I will take you to the Isle of Este, in Lake Lorellin, where Este dwells. She is one of the Valar, and is the Goddess of Healing of Hurts and Weariness. She will tend to you both, and for you, Frodo, she will heal the mortal wounds that you sustained. They would surely have brought about your death had you remained on Middle-earth. Come, now".
With that, the hobbits rose, and followed Gandalf into the tent where they were to spend the night. They were joined a little later by Galadriel, who had slipped into their tent almost unnoticed. She sat in the entrance, looking out over the sea, toward Middle-earth. Frodo watched her as he slowly began to fall asleep. He noticed how much she had changed since the time he first had laid eyes upon her. She made him feel uneasy back then. At that time, she had been a tall, imposing woman, with luminous, penetrating eyes that looked straight through a person into their soul. Now, she seemed as thin and unsubstantial as a paper doll, sitting in the tent's opening with her golden hair streaming behind her in the slight breeze from the night. She turned suddenly to look back at Frodo. Her eyes still shone with the same light as before, but they now seemed bereft of the power that they once had held. She smiled at Frodo wordlessly. He did not now feel afraid of her. He smiled back and drifted quickly off to sleep.
Gandalf's Story
~~~
From The Silmarillion (Hardcover edition illustrated by Ted Nasmith):
P. 17: "These are the Maiar -- for though it is otherwise in Aman -- in Middle-earth the Maiar have seldom appeared in form visible to Elves and Men".
"My dear friends, Bilbo and Frodo", Gandalf started, "We have known each other a long time, but there is much I wish to explain about who I am exactly, and to clear up some mysteries for you. We have never really talked about this before. You may have many questions of me, which I will try my best to answer in a way that you will understand. For years you have believed that I was a wizard, an old man who possessed some magical powers. Did you ever wonder what a wizard was, in terms of race or species?"
Bilbo replied, "When I think of Saruman, I do wonder at the fact that wizards could actually be evil, because I sensed some similarities between Saruman and Sauron, and wondered if, in fact, they were of the same kind".
"It turns out that you were right, Bilbo, even if you were not aware of the real facts. Sauron is of the same race as Saruman and myself. We are called the Maiar, and there are many of us. The Maiar are of the same race also as the Valar, whom we serve, but of whom there are but a few. We possess many powers, one of which is the ability to change our appearance, or shape-shift, as that power is also called. As Istari wizards, the other wizards and myself took the guise of elderly men with long beards, and we dressed alike in long robes and carried staffs that contained within them some magical elements. As Gandalf the Grey, I had a much different appearance than Gandalf the White, and yet I also shared some similarity. There are many other Maiar as well, thousands of us, in fact, and although we do possess certain powers, we are not as powerful as the Valar themselves".
Frodo and Bilbo both stared at Gandalf in fascination and with a certain degree of horror.
"I cannot believe that you are of the same kind as Sauron!" exclaimed Frodo, "and I will admit that the idea that you can change your appearance frightens me more than a little!"
Bilbo nodded in agreement, and asked, "You were Sauron's equal?"
"I was Sauron's better!" replied Gandalf, "Because Sauron had foolishly put a great part of his power into the One Ring, they were thus bound to each other. When the Ring was destroyed, he was also. The Balrog of Moria, who destroyed me as Gandalf the Grey, was also a Maiar spirit, and was originally a servant of the evil Vala, Morgoth. As far as shape shifting, the Maiar and the Valar can assume any form that they wish; however, once a shape has been assumed and either has been destroyed or we wish to change it, then it can never again be used by that spirit. Also, if we change our shapes too often, our ability to do so weakens over time. This is true for the Valar as well".
Frodo and Bilbo stared at Gandalf with not a little fear in their hearts. "What is your real shape, if I may ask, although I am not sure that I wish to hear the answer?" Bilbo asked tentatively.
"Ah", replied Gandalf. "That is a good question".
Frodo jumped in at this point. "We all thought that you had died in Moria!" he exclaimed. "Are you saying that the Balrog that you did battle with there was your equal, and it can rise from the dead and become something else again?"
"Not exactly, Frodo", said Gandalf. "We both perished on that mountain-peak of Zirak-zigil, but I alone was sent back to complete the task I was chosen to do, and I was given greater powers with which to do it, as Gandalf the White Wizard. We cannot, of our own power, resurrect ourselves. Only Eru, the One, and some of the chosen Valar, can do this".
"Gandalf, would you please promise me something?" Frodo asked soberly. "Please tell me beforehand would you, if you plan to assume the shape of anything very big, or scary, or - "
Gandalf shook his head and laughed. He took a long drag of his pipe, and blew out a huge smoke ring. "I will continue my story, and perhaps that will make you feel better when you understand it. We Maiar are spirits whose real form is somewhat unfathomable by yourselves, who are real people of flesh and blood and bones. Our real shape is somewhat like bright flames of light. Do not be afraid, please. That is what we are in the spirit form, not of flesh and blood people of the earth. Many, many years ago, I was Manwe's servant. Manwe, as you know, is King of the Valar. He lives in a tower upon a mountaintop called Mt. Taniquetil, in the northern range of mountains called the Pelori. From there he can keep watch on the lands below and is aided by his great eagles, which bring him news, and help him when he needs them.
Manwe was, or is, Morgoth's twin brother. Morgoth was once called Melkor, but was re-named Morgoth by an elf named Feanor, a great elven prince of long, long ago. Morgoth means "dark enemy of the world", as indeed he was. Melkor chose evil over good, and was eventually overthrown by the other Valar after causing unfathomable damage to the world, to both Valinor and Middle-earth, when they used to lie side by side. The Valar captured him and threw him into the great Void which lies outside our world, where he dwells still, unseen, doing we know not what. However, as with Sauron in the end, Morgoth had also used up a lot of his powers in shape-shifting too many times, and he is therefore unable to take physical form ever again. However, it is possible that his presence could still return in some way, as yet unknown. The Valar and the Maiar have always been aware that one day, it is possible that Morgoth could return".
Gandalf paused for a while so that the hobbits could digest what he had just told them. Frodo thought that he detected an almost imperceptible shiver or something similar pass through Gandalf's features. At length, Gandalf continued.
"This story is an extremely complicated one, and for now, I am making it as brief and simple as I possibly can, because it is too much to digest at one sitting. With that said, I was chosen by Manwe to patrol Middle-earth, and I was sent here in the guise of an wizard, and was given greater powers than some of the other Maiar. I was also a ring-bearer, although not of the One Ring. I was given Narya the Great, the ring of red fire, by Cirdan, a great Eldar of the elves, and Lord of the Grey Havens. This ring also gave me more power while I was on Middle-earth. However, things in Middle-earth went terribly wrong when Isildur, ancient ruler of Gondor, did not destroy the One Ring after the last battle of the Second Age, after he had cut it from Sauron's hand. When the evil Sauron was not destroyed, then I was sent to Middle-earth. At about that same time, the race of hobbits also first appeared. When you came into possession of the One Ring, Frodo, and then brought it to its end, my task was done. I was sent to oversee the Ring's destruction, and to orchestrate certain events".
"Begging your pardon, Gandalf", said Frodo sadly, "but I did not destroy it, did I? That was down to Gollum in the end. But for his last act, I should have been lost to the Ring's power. Sauron's power", said Frodo, holding up his left hand with the missing forefinger.
"No, Frodo, you carried the Ring to the Crack of Doom", said Gandalf. "There was no one else who could have managed to do that. Please do not feel any guilt whatsoever. That task was appointed to you because you were - are - special, and you were, with much regret, sacrificed, if you will. What you do not know is that all of the events that occurred on Middle-earth during the War of the Ring were planned. After I fell in Moria, Eru, or Iluvatar, the One took me up, and he sent me back as the White Wizard to replace Saruman, who had fallen under the spell of evil. Cirdan gave to me the ring of fire, and I was sent to stop the remaining members of the Fellowship of the Ring from finding Merry and Pippin after they became separated from the others. In diverting those three hunters, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli, away from finding Merry and Pippin, and going to Rohan instead, I set in motion a series of events that first, stopped Saruman from destroying Rohan, then caused the Ents to destroy Isengard and with it, Saruman's war machine. By so doing, I made Sauron stronger for a while as he was trying to get the Ring from Pippin, whom he mistakenly thought was in possession of it through seeing him in Saruman's Palantir. Now, do you have any questions of me?" Gandalf stopped to ask.
"It is rather a lot to digest at one sitting. My mind is befuddled. I thought you said that you were a servant of Manwe", said Bilbo.
"At one time I was", replied Gandalf, "but Eru had forbidden the Valar to interfere in any of the doings of Middle-earth. Therefore, he took over the command of me from Manwe for a while, and sent me back in order to vanquish Sauron. However, even I did not know exactly how events would unfold".
"Did you not take a huge chance by allowing Sauron to become stronger for awhile?" asked Frodo. "He almost destroyed the Gondorians".
"We put all our trust in you to get the Ring to Mount Doom, Frodo", said Gandalf. "I sent Sam to help you by putting into his mind the conviction to stay with you always, and help you he did. Then events were left to fall into place as we planned and hoped. Therefore the Ring and Sauron were destroyed". With that, Gandalf stood up, and brushed bits of crumbs and pipeweed off of his robes. He sighed. "I am reminded that I have one last chore to perform before I must go back", he said.
"Go back?" Bilbo and Frodo cried, in unison.
"Yes. Come along. We shall sleep here tonight on the Isle", said Gandalf. "Tomorrow we shall go across to Valinor, and I will take you to the Isle of Este, in Lake Lorellin, where Este dwells. She is one of the Valar, and is the Goddess of Healing of Hurts and Weariness. She will tend to you both, and for you, Frodo, she will heal the mortal wounds that you sustained. They would surely have brought about your death had you remained on Middle-earth. Come, now".
With that, the hobbits rose, and followed Gandalf into the tent where they were to spend the night. They were joined a little later by Galadriel, who had slipped into their tent almost unnoticed. She sat in the entrance, looking out over the sea, toward Middle-earth. Frodo watched her as he slowly began to fall asleep. He noticed how much she had changed since the time he first had laid eyes upon her. She made him feel uneasy back then. At that time, she had been a tall, imposing woman, with luminous, penetrating eyes that looked straight through a person into their soul. Now, she seemed as thin and unsubstantial as a paper doll, sitting in the tent's opening with her golden hair streaming behind her in the slight breeze from the night. She turned suddenly to look back at Frodo. Her eyes still shone with the same light as before, but they now seemed bereft of the power that they once had held. She smiled at Frodo wordlessly. He did not now feel afraid of her. He smiled back and drifted quickly off to sleep.
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