FicWad

This is it.
The end.
No-one is here to stop me, and no-one cares.
There is no point in me.
I have fallen in love, with a boy I hardly knew at the time.
Yet he is now my best friend.
I need to leave him, forever, and get out of this life.
Before I wreak everything, just like usual, cause chaos follows me around.
Here I am, sat on my bed, in a few minutes I’ll be taking an attempt against my own life.
Its my only chance, I need to get out of here.
It will work.
I’m no longer needed here.

I opened my eyes to see something totally un-expected.
I was laying in a hospital bed, with something beautiful sleeping peacefully on the chair next to me.
Brendon Boyd Urie.
The boy I seemed to have fallen for.
Stupidly.
He’s an obsession.
I stared at him, in disbelief.
Why was I here?
And why was HE here? He shouldn’t care.
He slowly opened his eyes and turned to look at me.
“Brendon?,” I croaked.
“Ry!”, He cheered sleepily.
He looked worried, hurt almost.
That’s when I realised what I’d done.
“Wh-what are you doing here?”
“Well, since my best friend tried to kill himself, I think I have a right to be here. I need reasons Ryan.”
I sighed, I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn’t. The words couldn’t escape my mouth. And if I tried, I’d end up babbling, or saying something I shouldn’t. I studied Brendon, he was a mess. His hair ruffled and his clothes wrinkled, but I suppose that’s what you get from sleeping in abnormal places. I looked closer; he was tired, bags hanging under his eyes from lack of sleep. He was frowning at me, But god, he looked beautiful.
“I love you Brendon Urie.” I whispered under my breath, knowing he couldn’t hear. I longed to hear those words said to me, truthfully, but I knew that wouldn’t happen, he didn’t love me.
“What was that Ry?”, he questioned?
“Oh nothing, just mumbling.”
“Well then, I think you should get some more sleep, we can talk tomorrow.”
“Okay night Brendon”
I looked out of my window, noticing the stars were out, and fell straight asleep. Restless.

BRENDONS POV

My eyes flickered open and the light flooded in.
I was in hospital.
I looked around and saw Ryan asleep on the bed next to my chair.
He looked so peaceful, yet I knew he wasn’t, he had just tried to kill himself a few hours ago. I had found him, his dad was out, and there was no way of contacting him. He wouldn’t have been much use anyway, he wouldn’t care.. So I rang an ambulance and they took him to hospital. He had overdosed. I was so scared he was going to die. I wouldn’t be able to live without him.
I love him.
I love Ryan Ross.
But I can’t tell him.
I just can’t.

The door opens and a familiar voice calls my name.
“Brenny?” It was Ellie, my best friend, aside from Ryan.
The only one who knew the truth about my Feelings for Ryan.
“This is for you.” She said in her sweet voice.
She handed me an envelope with my name inked on the front.
I watched her turn her head to look at him, and then she looked back at me.
Tears started to fall down her face, I held her close to me, letting her cry. She was still in shock, just like me. But I couldn’t cry, I had to stay strong.
“This must have shook you up huh Brenny?” She asked sobbing.
“Pretty much. I thought I’d never get to tell him.” I replied.
“You have too, when he wakes up, promise me you will.”
“I promise.” I said, unsure.
She left the room waving, took one last glance at Ryan and walked out.

I looked at Ryan.
I had to tell him.
I can’t keep this from him any longer.

I looked at the envelope in my hands.
‘Brendon’ was what it has scrawled on the front. I realised it was Ryan’s writing and quickly ripped it open.
The letter read:

‘My dear Brendon.

I’m so sorry for what I’m about to do. It’s so selfish, but I have my reasons.
I suppose I should now tell you.
Brendon Urie, I love you.
Always have, always will.
From the day I First layed eyes on you, you changed me. And I don’t know what to do.
I wanted to tell you, but I knew it would cause problems, so I had to get out of it all and end it.
For you.
You are what I lived for, but I realised, you didn’t love me. Sot here was no point in me anymore.
This is not your fault.
Just remember, you’re beautiful, and the nicest person I have ever met.
Don’t listen to everyone else.

Oh and yes, talk to Ellie, she knows all my feeling’s for you.
I guess she can tell you now.
Tell her I’m sorry, so sorry and that I love her.
Take care of her.

Goodbye Brendon.
Love,
Ryan Ross.
Xxxxxxxx’

I stared at the letter for a couple of moments. I couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t take it all in. He loved me too?
I folded the letter up and slipped it into my jeans pocket. I glanced over to the skinny body laying in the hospital bed, this was too good to be true. Yet it was all messed up. I could have helped him, if I had just told him, but I didn’t have the guts. He tried to kill himself, end his life forever. And it was all because of me.

I had to tell him.