FicWad

I was sick of people always saying that Christmas was about giving. To me, that was the most over-used cliches of them all. When you think about it, it isn't even true.

My Mother always yelled at me for being so cheap and cold-hearted. I never really got anyone anything special for Christmas. The year before, in 11th grade, I had gotten my brother Mikey a pack of gum. I had gotten my Mom some nail polish, and my Dad a wrench. All of which were purchased at the dollar store.

I didn't feel bad at all, because I didn't get anything worth while, either. All I had gotten was a sketch pad, some new shoes, and a CD player that didn't even work. It wasn't because my parents knew that they were going to get something cheap from me, it was because last year they were very low on money because my Dad had gotten laid-off. Now though, he has a job again, so maybe this year's Christmas would be a little better. I wasn't sure if I would go all-out this year to buy my family something. Maybe if they were lucky, I would.

Anyway, as for my behavior last year, my Mom was pretty upset that I had been so cheap as to buy my family gifts that had poor quality. However, I was smart with my response. I had thrown the other old cliche in her face. /It's the thought that counts/.

They were lucky that I had took the time out of my life to get my ass off of the couch and walk over to the dollar store in the freezing cold to get them something. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I actually did put some "thought" into what I was getting them. I had spent a good five minutes debating on whether I should get Mikey gum or Tic-Tacs. I spent a bunch of time picking-out a color nail polish for my Mom, and I spent at least an hour actually picking something out that I thought my Dad would actually use. Plenty of "thought" was put into getting those gifts.

And yes, there was a reason for why I was so Gad damn cheap and hated the world and almost everyone in it. It was because the world hated /me/. I had never gotten anything out of life. My parents knew it, and that's why my Mother had given up on trying to figure me out. She even went as far as to refuse to buy me anything for Christmas this coming year. And you know what? I didn't give two shits. What I really and truly wanted for Christmas, as tacky as it sounds, couldn't be bought in any store. (Plus, my Mom wouldn't pull through with doing something like that.)

I have never been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember. I knew I was gay for my whole life. Everyone in school eventually found out, and it only made me become even more hated. I had friends, though. Ray Toro, and Bob Bryar. I guess Frank Iero, too, even though he was more of a friend to Mikey than to me, because he knew Mikey first. Mikey had invited him over a bunch of times, and I became friends with him as well. During that time, I also developed the world's hugest crush on him. He was just so amazingly hot, and sweet as hell. And luckily for me, he was gay!

However, I kind of figured that he didn't like me like that. Something told me that he had a crush on Mikey. I had absolutely nothing to back that theory up, but I wasn't lucky enough to have someone as amazing as Frankie like me. Plus, Mikey never said anything to me about Frank liking me. I was pretty sure that if Frankie had told him, Mikey would have told me.

"So Gerard," my Mom said two days before this year's Christmas Eve, "should we plan on receiving anything from you for Christmas?"

"Yeah." I said.

"I think he's feeling generous this year." said Mikey. "We're prolly all getting something that was five dollars or under, instead of three."

"Shut up." I said.

"Well you're gonna really like what Mom and Dad got you for-"

"Mikey!" my Dad snapped. "Be quiet!"

"What? What did you guys get for me?" I asked.

"Nothing! You'll have to wait until Christmas." said my Mom.

I tutted.

"I'll bet you'll love it, though." said my Mom.

"Just tell me now. I can guarantee you that it's not what I want." I said.

"I can guarantee you that it is."

"Nope. Impossible."

"Well, we'll see."

"Yes, we will."

I knew I was right, which was why I wasn't going to continue the conversation any longer. I knew that no matter what they had gotten me, it wasn't what I truly wanted for Christmas, because the only thing that I really wanted was Frank Anthony Thomas Iero.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Christmas Eve Day

"Gerard! Mikey could use your help down here!" called my Mom from downstairs.

"And I could use a new art kit, but you don't see me complaining!" I called down.

"GERARD ARTHUR WAY! TALK LIKE THAT AGAIN AND THE ONLY THING YOU'LL FIND UNDER THE TREE IS A BIG BAG OF COW MANURE!"

"I don't care." I said to myself. "Christmas is shit anyway."

I snickered. Then I started to laugh really hard at my own tacky, pun-based joke. I cracked myself up sometimes.

I looked at the picture I was drawing. It was supposed to be Frank and I kissing, but it was really hard to depict his beautiful face. If I had gotten the proper pencils, I might even be able to make my own look ten times better.

Maybe the gift my parents had gotten me was a new art kit. That could be why my Mom had freaked out so bad.

I put the drawing on my desk and trudged down the stairs. I found Mikey at the dining room table with my Mom standing next to him.

"What?" I asked.

"I need help with my Math homework." said Mikey.

"You're doing Math on Christmas Eve?" I asked.

"Mom said she didn't want me skipping out on it. I need help!"

"Well I suck at Math. So I couldn't be of any-"

"Oh come on, Gerard. You must remember something about it from when you were in Mikey's grade." said my Mom.

Before I could answer, my Mom left the room.

I sighed and sat next to Mikey.

"I really don't know how to do this stuff." I said, looking at Mikey's paper. "I never payed attention in that class."

"Eh, whatever. I'll just ask Frank to help me. He's in my class." said Mikey.

"When will you ask him?"

"Christmas Day, remember? Him and his family are coming over."

"Oh that's right. Bob and Ray's are coming over too."

"Gerard? Why is your face all red?" asked Mikey.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your face! It's all red!"

"It is not!"

"Gerard, I'm looking at you right now! Your face is red as an apple!"

"It's just hot in here, that's all."

"Hot? I think it's freezing! Hell, I heard Mom talk to Dad about how she thinks they are going to shut the heat off-"

"Mikey, do you need my help or not? Come on! I've got things to do!"

"Forget it. I'll just say that I did it. Maybe I'll have Frank come over now, too. I'm bored."

My heart started racing.

"What are you going to do?" I asked.

"I don't know, we'll find something to do." said Mikey. "He's just as much your friend now, too as he is mine, though. Last time he came over you hung-out with us the whole time."

"Well is it my fault that he wanted to listen my music?! No!"

"I'm just saying. I didn't mean it in an offensive way or anything. Stay here. I gotta go to the bathroom."

Mikey got up and ran upstairs. We had a bathroom downstairs too, but Mikey liked going upstairs better. I had no idea why.

I sighed and sat back in my chair and thought about how in a little while I would be able to see Frank, the most amazing guy in the world. I could almost see his small self being here on Christmas day as well, him being more beautiful than the tree. He'd be the most amazing present ever.

He was all I wanted.

Suddenly, I heard Mikey upstairs. He was laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" I called up.

Mikey didn't answer. He just kept laughing.

"Mikey!" I called.

Mikey continued to laugh.

I suddenly had a funny feeling in my stomach. He had better not have peed in my room or something.

I ran upstairs and found Mikey in my room, on the floor, laughing hysterically.

"Mikey! What the hell are you doing in my room?" I exclaimed.

Then I looked at the floor next to him and I saw my drawing of Frank and I!!!

"MIKEY! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" I demanded.

Mikey just continued to laugh like a moron.

"You- You- You- YOU LOVE FRANKIE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!" Mikey said in between laughing.

Never in the fifteen years that Mikey had been around did I want to kill him more than I did at that moment.

Mikey continued to laugh and banged his fist on the floor.

"MIKEY!" I screamed.

Mikey was laughing so hard that his face was redder than red. It was a deep purple. He started to breathe harder, and he was laughing so hard that the noise he was making was that of someone choking on something. He sounded like a little girl being suffocated.

I snatched the picture and put it on my desk.

I felt like crying. Not only had my love for Frank been exposed, but Mikey thought it was hysterical, which hurt me.

I stood there, close to tears as Mikey slowly calmed down.

He was still smirking as he stood up. He just looked at me.

"Gerard." he said. "I had no idea!"

"Well, it's not funny! And what the hell were you doing in my room?" I asked.

"The draft must have blown the picture on the floor, and as I passed your room, I saw it. I'm sorry, but I just had to come in and look at it! Now I know that you're in love with Frank!"

"Who the hell told you that you could come in here and look at it? You are such a snitch!"

"GEE LOVES FRANKIE!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!"

I shoved Mikey to the floor, but he just laughed.

"That is so cute, Gerard! I seriously had no clue whatsoever! You are really good at hiding it. Wait 'til I tell him-!"

"You sure as hell better not tell him!!! I will murder you in your sleep!" I yelled.

"Come on, Gee! What's the harm in telling him?"

"He'll never talk to me again, that's what the harm is! I swear, Mikey! You better not say a word to him!"

"You are such a party pooper!"

"This isn't a game, Mikey! We're talking about my feelings, here!"

"But still! I mean, you even drew a picture of you two? I think that is so cute! Awww. I never knew you were such a softie, Gerard!"

"Just leave me alone, Mikey. Get outta my room."

"Fine. But so you know, I am definitly inviting Frank over right now!"

"Go ahead." I said. "See if I care."

"We both know you do." said Mikey, smiling goofily and leaving the room.

I slammed the door behind him.

I threw myself on the bed and just layed there, feeling embarrased as hell. If Mikey had told Frank, I didn't know what I would do. Things would never be the same between us again. He might not even want to talk to me. Sure, he knew I was gay, and he was gay himself, but that certainly didn't mean that he was okay with me liking him. He would more than likely be disgusted if he found out.

I was a combination of pissed, nervous, and I felt like my privacy had been invaded. Right then and there, I hated Mikey.

I took the picture of Frank and I and put it in a drawer, so no one would find it. I then decided to just stay in my room. There was no way in hell I was leaving it if Frank was going to be around. Even though Mikey said that he wouldn't tell, that still wouldn't stop him from giggling and laughing at me. I really didn't need that.

All I did was lay around and I heard Frankie arrive at the house. I made sure that my door was locked so Mikey couldn't just barge in.

I could hear Mikey and Frank in the other room listening to music. I really wanted to see what Frank looked like today. I just couldn't, though.

I then realized that the door to Mikey's room was more than likely locked, so it was safe for me to go downstairs and get something to drink.

I slowly opened my door and made sure Mikey's door was closed. It was.

I went downstairs to get a drink, but I was soon distracted when I saw Frankie's jacket on the couch. I couldn't help it. I went over to it and picked it up. It was a cute black leather jacket, and it had a small skull and cross bones on it. I held it to my nose and smelled the jacket. It smelled so good.

I put it down and went back into the kitchen, thinking about how cute Frank looked in it. Just as I got back in, I heard Frank and Mikey come down the stairs.

Shit!

"Oh hi, Gerard!" said Mikey, smiling.

I could feel my face get hot. I looked at Mikey, who had a smile plastered on his face, and then I looked at Frankie. He looked so cute! He was wearing a black shirt, jeans, and his hair looked so short and cute.

"Hi." I mumbled.

Frank had a smile on his face, too, but it was a cute smile. It was a cute casual smile, one that showed that he was content to be where he was. It made me want to jump on him.

Frank waved at me and I waved back.

"Frankie got his balls pierced!" said Mikey.

My eyes went wide.

"What? No I didn't!" shouted Frank.

Mikey burst out laughing.

"Did you seriously?" I asked.

"No. He's joking." said Frank. "I told him that my Mom was making peanut butter cookies and she rolled them in balls and that I put toothpicks in them, and Mikey found it funny and said that I got my balls pierced."

"Oh."

Mikey was still laughing.

"Duh, Gerard." said Mikey. "You should know that Frankie doesn't have the balls to get his balls pierced. Get it? Balls? Ha ha ha ha!"

Mikey was now hysterically laughing at his own joke, but something told me that it was because he knew that I was standing by Frank, and he found it funny.

"Your brother is scaring me." said Frank to me.

I just smiled at him. He smiled back. Mikey continued laughing.

"We were just about to go walking around town, but I don't think Mikey is in the right condition just now." said Frank.

"No, I'm good." said Mikey, his face all red from laughing. "Hey, why don't you come with us, Gerard?"

"No, that's okay." I said.

"Come on, Gee." said Frank. "I don't want to be left alone with Mikey."

"Hey!" exclaimed Mikey.

I ignored Mikey, though. I just looked at Frank. He and I smiled at each other again.

"Okay. I'll go." I said.

"Yay!" said Frank.

"Just don't be giving each other googly-eyes the whole time." said Mikey.

I walked to the wooden coat pole by the front door which was where we kept our coats, because I knew that I was blushing. I put my coat on and turned around and didn't see Frankie standing right behind me, and so I bumped right into him.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"It's okay." said Frank. "It was my fault."

I looked down at Frank's beautiful eyes. I really wanted to grab him and kiss him, but I couldn't. I just didn't have the confidence, or the guts.

Frankie was already in his jacket (which he really did look cute in), and Mikey and I got ours on and we left the house ands started walking along the wet sidewalk. It must have been just-shoveled.

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"I don't know. Somewhere." said Mikey, who walked in front and left Frank and I to walk behind him.

I could tell that Mikey was making us walk like that on purpose.

"Ooh! Let's go to Russo's and get some cookies!" exclaimed Mikey. "I want cookies! Do you have any cash on you, Gerard?"

"What am I, a bank?" I asked.

Frank snickered at my comment, which made me smile.

"Oh come on, Gerard! Quit being so cheap!" said Mikey.

"I'm not being cheap! I only have five bucks on me!" I said defensively.

"Pssh. That won't even buy us a crumb in Russo's. That could buy us stuff in the dollar store, though. That's your second home for all things Christmas gifts."

"So? What's wrong with that?"

"I buy my presents there, too." chimed in Frank.

"Ha! You two are perfect for each other!" exclaimed Mikey.

I just looked at the ground, trying to hide my smile.

"Let's go to McDonald's. I'm starving." said Mikey.

"I thought you said you didn't have any money." I said.

"I didn't say that. I just asked how much you had. I didn't say that I didn't have any myself."

I rolled my eyes.

We walked to McDonald's and went in.

"I want like, two large fries and like, a McFlurry with Skittles!" exclaimed Mikey.

"They don't make them with Skittles." I said.

Mikey glared at me as if it were my fault.

"I'm not hungry." said Frank.

"Me either." I said.

"Suit yourselves." said Mikey.

"We will."

"Yeah. By staring at each other." mumbled Mikey.

I shot him a look. I was sick of him hinting that I wanted Frank.

"I'm gonna find a table." I said.

I walked away and went in the eating area to look for a booth.

Frankie soon joined me.

"Hi." he said. "Mikey told me to follow you."

I sighed.

Frank got a hurt look on his face.

"No! No!" I said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that! No! It's not you. It's Mikey. I told him something and he won't leave me alone about it."

"Oh." said Frank, still looking hurt.

I gave Frank a hug and he hugged back. I loved holding him.

"You're not annoying. I promise." I said.

Frank just held me tighter. I was feeling bold, so I kissed his forehead. I didn't want him to think that he was a burden.

"That definitely reassured me." said Frankie, as we let go of each other.

Frankie was blushing, and I'm sure I was, too.

"Good, I'm glad." I said.

"So what is this thing that you told Mikey?" asked Frank.

"Um..." I said. "I don't like to be alone in public."

Good going, Gerard. That was the stupidest thing you've ever said!

"Oh." said Frankie, looking confused.

We sat at the table, and Mikey soon came strolling over with a bunch of food in his hand. He put it down on the table.

"I got three things of fries instead. One is for that homeless man outside. I'm going to give it to him. Why, you ask? Because I've got Christmas spirit. Unlike some people."

Mikey looked at me when he said that.

I stood up.

"I'm going to go in the play area." I said. "I haven't been I there in forever. Plus, I don't wanna sit here if Mikey is being an ass."

"Gerard! You're 18 and you're still going in the play area?" asked Mikey. "Wow. And I thought Frankie was the only one who still went in it."

Frankie turned red.

This was my perfect chance.

"Well then Frankie," I said getting up, "would you like to go with me?" I asked.

Frank smiled.

"Go ahead, Frank." said Mikey. "I'll be fine."

Mikey winked at me.

Frank stood up.

"I bet I can beat you to the ball pit." challenged Frank.

"You're on! On the count of three. One...Two-"

Before I could say three, Frank was running into the other room, where the ball pit was.

"Hey!" I yelled.

I chased after him into the other room. The room was filled with kids, but I ran past them and into the opening to the tube of the plastic play area, where Frankie was standing by the ball pit.

"You're such a little cheater!" I said.

Frank just stuck his tongue out at me. I shoved him in the ball pit.

"Hey!" said Frank, standing up.

"Ha! Frankie is surrounded by balls!" I exclaimed, not caring about the kids and parents who were around.

"It's a day for ball jokes, isn't it?"

Frankie grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me in with him. I tried to land on him, but I couldn't.

"You little fucker." I said, pulling him down so he was sitting.

Frankie threw a blue ball at my head, but he missed.

"You're sitting on my leg, Gee." said Frank.

"I know. I just sat on it on purpose." I said.

Frank pulled his leg toward himself, and my ass fell onto the floor of the ball pit.

"Hey!" I said.

Frank smiled and started moving his hand on the floor of the pit, through the colored plastic spheres.

"I lost my shoe." he said.

"Serves you right." I said in a flirtasous way.

Frank glared at me as he felt around.

I wish he would feel around my balls...

Frank's hand was soon on my leg, which was under the many colored spheres.

"Sorry." said Frank, blushing and moving his hand.

"That's okay." I said, smiling at him.

I reached next to me and found his shoe. I took it from underneath the spheres.

"Looking for this?" I asked.

Frank went to take it, but I got up and ran out of the pit.

"Hey!" shouted Frank as he got up.

I climbed as fast as I could up the pink tunnel of the play area, knocking over a little kid in the process. I soon reached the top of the little area before the tunnel slide. It was like a little enclosed sitting space.

Frank soon joined me, out of breath.

"Was I too fast for you?" I asked.

Frank didn't answer. He just smiled as he caught his breath.

I pulled him down so he was sitting and I gave him his shoe.

"Thanks." he said.

"You're welcome." I replied.

Frankie put on his shoe, and I was glad that we were in a spot where there was no adults. If I had kissed Frankie there, the little kids wouldn't understand, and there would be no adults around to tell us off, unlike in the ball pit, where everyone could see us flirting. Here, Frank and I were alone, and I loved it.

"So will Ray and Bob be over tomorrow, too?" asked Frank.

"Yeah. Them and their families." I answered.

"Okay. I was just wondering. Did you get them anything?"

"Chains. Chains for their wallets."

Frank smiled and nodded.

There was a silence.

I had gotten Frank something much better. I had gotten him a Misfits shirt. I knew he loved that band, as did I.

I looked at Frank, who looked so cute as we sat there.

"I'm going down the slide." said Frank.

He went down the tube slide and I followed.

"Let's find Mikey." I said, standing up.

"Okay." said Frank.

We got out of the play area room and went to the booth where we were before, and Mikey looked like he was asleep.

"Mikey! Wake up!" I said.

Mikey jolted awake.

"Oh. Hi, you two! Did you have fun having sex on the slide?" asked Mikey.

"Shut up!" I yelled.

Mikey just laughed.

"Come on." I said. "Let's go. You're obviously done eating."

Mikey was still laughing as he got up and threw his stuff away. Apparently, he thought he was hilarious.

"I want some cookies." said Mikey, as we left McDonald's.

"Well I for one think it's freezing out, and I want to go home." I said.

"Then you go home with Frank. I'll be fine. I'm going to the dollar store to get cookies."

With that, Mikey started running down the block.

"Well, I guess you're stuck with me, Frank." I said, as we started walking back to the house.

"Stuck? I wouldn't consider it being stuck. I like hanging out with you." said Frank.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you so much." I said. "I like hanging out with you too."

"Aww. Thanks." said Frank.

I wanted to reply, but Frank had put his arm around me and pulled my side against his, kind of like a side-hug, and I put my arm around him and kissed his head.

I then realized that I had to stop kissing him, because I was practically telling him that I liked him.

I removed my arm from around him and he did the same.

We walked back to the house in silence, and before I knew it, a snowball hit my back.

I turned around, and there was Frank, standing behind me, smiling.

I glared at him.

I started walking toward him as he tried to run away, but I grabbed him and pushed him onto someone's lawn in the snow. I knew I didn't hurt him, because the snow was pretty deep.

Frank got up and started chasing after me. I ran as fast as I could, laughing, and I thought that I was way ahead of him, but it turned out that I wasn't. I felt a tug from behind and I felt my back crash up against his front, and I wasn't sure if it was an accident, or if he did it on purpose, but Frank's arms were now wrapped around my stomach.

I put my hands on his for a few seconds, and he let go of me and I turned around and looked down at him. Frank was looking up at me.

"Sorry.", was all he could say.

I put my hand on Frank's shoulders, I was about ready to pull him to me for a kiss, but then I heard the most annoying voice in the world besides my Mother's.

"GERARD! FRANKIE! WAIT UP!"

I looked up and there was Mikey running up the block. I quickly let go of Frank.

Mikey caught up to us in a flash.

"Where's your cookies?" I asked.

"The dollar store was closed. I guess it's closed on Christmas Eve." said Mikey, panting.

"How come McDonald's wasn't?" asked Frank.

"I don't know. They're dumb."

Mikey started walking ahead of us, and Frank and I followed.

I hoped that Frankie wasn't aware of what I had wanted to do to him before Mikey had showed up, because I wasn't feeling confident anymore.

We eventually got back to the house.

"I gotta call Ray." said Mikey, smiling and going into the kitchen.

"Why?" I asked.

"I just have to. Don't come in."

I shrugged and hung my coat up and hung Frank's up for him, too.

"Thanks." said Frank.

"You're welcome. Are you okay from before? I didn't hurt you when I pushed you in the snow, did I?" I asked.

"No. I knew you were just joking. I'm fine."

"Good."

"Did I throw the snowball too hard at you?"

"No."

"Okay, good...I have a question."

My face felt hot.

"Okay, what's your question?" I asked, trying to hide my fear.

"Uh...Is it true that you made-out with Ray?" asked Frank.

"WHAT? Me?! Make-out with Ray? Ew! No! Never! Ray is straight! Even if he wasn't, I never would! No! Who told you that?"

"I heard a rumor going around about it."

"Nope. It's not true. I promise. I think you and I are the only two gay ones in the school."

Frank smiled slightly.

"I thought so. Anyway...I really hope I have a good Christmas this year. I'm glad we're coming over. Things are so boring when it's just my Mom and I and we spend the holidays at my house." said Frank.

"You'll have a good Christmas. I promise." I said. "I'm glad you're coming over, too. Is there anything that you really want your Mom to get you?"

"Not really. I'll prolly wind up getting money. I want something that is like...Really impossible to get."

"What's that?"

"I really don't wanna say."

"Why?"

"I just don't. It's kinda a secret."

I smiled.

"I know how you feel. I really want an impossible secret thing, too." I said.

"I bet it's not as impossible as what I want." said Frank.

"No, I bet it is."

"It can't be. What I want isn't even buyable. Is that even a word?"

I laughed.

"Yeah, it is. I think, anyway." I said.

Frank giggled. How I loved that giggle. It was so cute.

"Frank." I whispered.

Frank looked up at me.

I was so going to tell him that I wanted /him/, but I quickly changed my mind.

"Yeah?" he asked.

I just looked at him. I was too much of a wimp to man-up and tell him.

"Nothing." I said. "Never mind."