FicWad

Here I am…lying in bed alone. But you don’t care about that. It’s three in the morning and you still haven’t gotten home. I believed you in the beginning because I trusted you. But as time went on, I realized you were making a fool of me. All I wanted was for you to confess and apologize. I would’ve forgiven you because I love you. I guess everyone doesn’t deserve a second chance. You don’t think I know therefore you continue to constantly play your little games. You think I’m blind. Well guess what baby…I’m not. You should have figured it all out by now. I’ve been giving you the clues but apparently the sticks are wet. Now I have to tell you… it’s over, we’re through. The front door opens and then closes. Your footsteps get closer and closer until at last you’re coming up the stairs. I sit up in bed and wait for you to open the door and provide me with my daily dose of lies accompanied by a hug, kiss and of course I can’t forget the way you say ‘I love you’. You open the door and smile.

But tonight is different…you don’t speak. Instead you go and change out the miniskirt and tank top and then climb into bed. You don’t say a word, you don’t look at me…you don’t even touch me. It’s like you’ve figured out my plan and you’re trying to avoid it. I lie down beside you and close my eyes. The tension between us is thick…too thick. The crickets, clearly unaware of the oath of silence that’s in effect, go on with their chirping. Our lives go on like this for a while. This isn’t pleasant and it sure as hell isn’t normal. You suddenly sit up.

“Ryan?”

I look at you; you look back. Your eyes are red and your face is wet and there’s this look of sadness and desperation on your face…its all an act. Another one of your little games. This time I decide to play too…maybe I’ll learn something else.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry.” You say as fresh tears begin to fall.

I just look at you. I’m so astonished and shocked; I don’t say anything. You actually took the time to come out of your own selfish little world to notice something. The world really doesn’t revolve around you; it has it’s own axis and you can’t play games with peoples hearts. You finally figured it out! But regrettably sweetie it’s too late, you’ve already lost me.

“Ryan, say something.”

You’re pleading with me now. And I’m completely numb to the feeling of sympathy I had for you in the past. I got out bed and started getting dressed.

“Wait…can we at least talk about it?”

“What is there to talk about? You screwed my best friend.”

“I know but…I’m sorry…I love you.”

I look at you. You just utterly disgust me with the way you say that.

“Do you even know what the fuck love is?”

“Yeah…”

You’re not really that dumb.

“Really? What is it?”

“Look, I am so sorry. Just calm down and we can talk.”

“NO! We can’t. I gave you plenty of chances to come clean…but you didn’t. It’s over.”

“But…”

I just stop listening and finish getting dressed. I glance at you every now and then. You’re hurt and I can tell. This time it isn’t an act but like I said it’s too late…I don’t care about you or how you feel now. You didn’t care about me. I leave and you follow. Begging me to give you another chance but I just leave the house. And now regret sets in…