FicWad

'Say what now?' I hushed, having blinked the whole of forty times to register the words that he had said. I was not expecting that, at all. No matter how optimistic I got, no matter how hopeful, I could never have conceived those words escaping full pink lips at this very second. Within inches of me, hovering there over the arm of the couch, hardly touching the material. 'You… Huh?'

'I love you too.' He repeated, not as easily as he did a few seconds ago. It seemed that maybe I was giving off the impression that this was a bad thing to say. I was just shocked is all. Very shocked. Unbelievably thrown off. Grabbing onto his tee I pulled him down on to the couch, shifting over a little to give us both room yet keeping him as close as comfortably possible. 'I… Yeah…'

That's all I had to hear, pushing his back up against the arm and leaning over him to touch our noses together. Clashing, colliding and connecting like the slam of a door, our lips attached and latched on. His eyes wouldn't close, just his eyelids hanging wide open in surprise. Slowly, they closed the slightest bit more with every blink he took. Clinging onto my hoodie, pulling me down onto him until I could feel every breath he inhaled up against me. A vibrating low in my jeans put me off just the slightest. Patrick squeaked then blushed a deep embarrassment, which I would have laughed at if I wasn't already trying to fish my cracked up sidekick from my pocket.

'Today is the greatest day I've ever known' It sang as I gripped a hold and struggled to wiggle it out, Patrick raised an eyebrow of course.

'Smashing Pumpkins?' He questioned, looking at me as if I just produced a rude artefact from my jeans. I nodded, shrugging at him, wondering why he was so amazed. 'I didn't know you liked them'

I went to answer, really I did, but it went through to voice mail. I swore, shaking my head and putting it back where it belonged. It was Frank according to the front screen. It could wait. I'm sure there were bigger things going on here right now than whatever my excollegue wanted to bug me about. Still leaning over Patrick, our faces close together, I pondered.

'Yeah, Mikey let me borrow their album' I answered his previous question before lining up my own. As in, what the hell is going on? Why now? What was so special about today? 'Why didn't you tell me before?'

'Tell you what?' Yeah, that was a pretty stupid reply. Giving him a few seconds to remember what was going on, I saw the moment he clicked with his eyebrows curving and eyes widening. 'Cause I didn't just want to tell you'

'So you thought you'd leave me in the dark, questioning my value?' I replied, trying not to sound too angry because I am the king of ruining moments with stupid misplaced emotional charges. He looked at me sceptically, lips screwed up with a frown.

'You are so melodramatic' He punched me in my upper arm and I knew that everything was going to be fine for us. I smiled, the most genuine smile of the year. Okay, so throughout these past two weeks I have been a little melodramatic. Maybe I was being a tiny bit woe-is-me. It couldn't be helped. It was kinda his fault in the first place.

'But when I said it first why didn't you answer?' I pushed, sitting back on my heels, still on top of him. He looked flustered, I always thought that looked funny on him. The sweaty forehead, glowing cheeks, shifty eyes and twitching body. I resisted mocking him, trying to hold my menacing glare. He sighed.

'Promise you won't get pissed off' He replied, and I got worried, preparing myself to be pissed off by whatever he had to say next. Yeah, I wouldn't show him that I was angry. Like I said, I never break promises, or at least I never make it obvious.

'Whatever. Tell me' See, there's always a way around it. I mean, I didn't say that I actually did promise. Sneaky thy name is Pete. I tried not looking as apprehensive as I felt. Taking deep breaths to push it away, not really working.

'I…uh…' Flushed, worried and trapped against the couch. His hesitance played against my impatience fixing a slight aggravation within me already. Obviously, this was something he didn't want to tell. Something bad. Did he not love me too then? What makes him so sure now then? 'uh… didn't… believe you'

'You… didn't believe me?' Surprisingly, I wasn't annoyed. Not at all. Although, it wasn't a pleasant feeling boiling in my heart. More like a droop. Crippled and hanging in my ribs. He didn't believe that I loved him. Did I look like I would lie like that? I didn’t want that question answered because I'm sure I wouldn't like to know. I suppose I wasn't sure if it actually was love at the time. At least I know for sure now. 'Why?'

'We've only been together for like a month' He pointed out and I suppose that was a valid reason. There were some girls I'd been with for years and hadn't even felt anything remotely close to what I feel for Patrick. I missed him like crazy when he was away, I got insanely jealous when he was with other guys and I got freakishly happy when he was around, always. It was beyond want, it was need, like he'd become a necessity in my life. 'I don't know… Just… the way you acted when I was away. I didn't think you'd miss me that much… That's when I figured that you might be saying the truth… I don't know…'

'So, why did you do all this?' I grinned, not believing that he went to all of this just to say those four words to me. It was weird but I was completely charmed by it. It was hard not to be. At the same time, I've never felt like a bigger douchbag in my entire life. One half of me was busy cooing and gurgling over this romantic display but the other half was asking me what I was doing two hours ago, and boy did I know that answer.

'Cause I'm a total Casanova when I want to be' He retorted casually, brushing invisible dust off of his shoulder in the world renowned action for look-how-cool-I-think-I-am. I, of course, chuckled my ass off to be faced by a fake offended look. 'I am! Oh, and this was kind of an apology for being such an ass these two weeks. I should've come home at nine that night you cooked and I should've answered when you told me you loved me.'

'You have no idea how happy you make me sometimes' I chuckled, leaning back down and wrapping my arms around his back, face to his neck and I really was happy in this moment. This second in time. I just basked in the glow. I didn't just love someone. I was in love. Me, the train wreck, pill popping, on edge, mess of a guy. In love. Suddenly, my crystal ball wasn't all that cloudy, and my future? Didn't quite freak me out as much as usual. Because I really had Patrick and I was fucking invincible.