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CHAPTER 6: Dating Uchiha Sasuke part 1!!

“Listen up, people!!”

Silence.

“That was just Naruto! Don’t listen!!”

Back to Normal

(Grr…I swear I’m eternally abused on this story…)

“Listen up, people!!” It’s Sasuke this time.

True Silence.

“I am about to hold a dating contest in which all the available ladies in this school are to undergo different challenges. The one who will emerge victorious will have a chance to date the most eligible bachelor in this school.”

Silence.

“Who will be the bachelor?”

Silence.

“If it is Naruto then I’d rather be subjected to hours of pure Math than date him.”

Naruto grabbed the microphone from Sasuke. “Hey! You don’t know how many abs I have during night!”

“At night? During night only??” a fan girl screamed.

“I can move them too!” Naruto added.

Silence.

“That’s gross.”

“And besides, I’m already taken.” Naruto finished.

Silence.

More silence.

More and more silence.

“He thinks someone will believe him.”

“Anyways,” back to Sasuke. “The most eligible bachelor will be….”

Silence.

“Me.”

More silence.

Nobody moves.

Their eyes.

Their hair.

Their body.

Their abs.

The prospect looks good.

Looking good means Sasuke.

Heaven means Sasuke.

ADS: Join in this ‘Dating Uchiha Sasuke’ contest and have a chance in your life to cuddle and to hug the ultimate heartthrob.

We love Sasuke.

He always makes us drool.

“My name is Uchiha Sasuke. Who wants to date me??”

The ladies, available or not, the gays, the teachers, the cafeteria lady even the principal all said “Me!!”

“Hm…..” Sasuke came back on the air way. “All I said was available ladies. Not would-be ladies and not trying-hard-to-be ladies, not married people, AVAILABLE LADIES only. Registration starts at 4 pm at the hall later. Goodbye, people.” click.

“OMG! I’LL BREAK OFF WITH MY BOY FRIEND IMMEDIATELY!!”

“I’LL ANNUL MY MARRIAGE WITH MY HUSBAND!!”

“I’LL HAVE A SEX CHANGE!!”

“O HEAVENS. KILL ME SO THAT I MAY BE REBORN AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME, AS A GIRL. CHANGE ME NOW! AS IN NOW!!”

There was an instant uproar.

“If you could make me jealous Sakura, I can do the same.”

Evil laugh.
Courtyard 3: 45

“I can’t believe almost all of the girls want to date you.” Neji mused all the while checking if his fantabulous hair has any split ends.

“Yeah. Me too.” Shikamaru seconded.

“Also me!!” Naruto thirded. (This is my language, people.)

“Hey, it looks like you don’t believe in my,” Sasuke flipped his hair to the left. “Drop-dead,” This time, he flipped it to the right. “Underwear-dropping,” This time, to the front. “Drool-worthy,” Then to the back. “Gosh-I-love-to-bite-him,” To the top. “Better than ice cream,” To the bottom. “Beauty.” Revolve head 360 degrees.

“Do you have a stiff neck or something?”

“Well anyways,” Naruto piped in. “my plan is beginning to work. At this rate, Sakura will be extremely jealous that you are willing to date any girl. Who knows? She might even join in.” he finished with a smile.

“Yeah.” Sasuke smirked. “And that is where the fun begins.”

Evil laugh Part 2
“Sakura.”

No response.

“Sakura.”

No response again.

“Sakura.”

No response again and again.

“SAKURA!”

“I can hear you. You don’t need to shout.”

Corridors 3:50

“Are you okay?” Ino asked the pink-haired girl beside her. The four were strolling down the corridors as it was dismissal time already.

“Of course, I’m okay.” she replied. “Why would I be not?”

Tenten bit her lips hesitantly. “Are you sure? Face it. Sakura. You seem uneasy since earlier. Since Uchiha’s announcement--”

“So? I don’t care a damn about him.” She finished her statement with a scoff.

Tenten stared at Sakura unbelievably. “You never cut me off! You have some problems, girl!” Hinata rushed to her side and calmed her down.

Sakura sighed deeply. “Look, I’m sorry Tenten. I was just shocked.”

“Shocked?” This time, it was Hinata. “Sakura, tell us the truth, you were hurt right?” Sakura was in the act of retorting when Hinata cut her off. “Don’t tell me that you’re okay now because you have Gaara. 2 weeks of dating him wouldn’t make you forget 4 years of love to Sasuke!!”

“It wasn’t 4 years of love. It was 4 years of stupidity. He can remove me from his life in just one motion of his hand, I can do the same.” she looked in a distance. “Who said that I’ll allow him to hurt me all over again?”

The sun was shining so brightly over the horizon. But the light can’t erase the darkness she felt inside. And tears welled up in her green eyes.
4:00 School Hall

“Whoa! As in whoa!!’

The school hall was filled to the brim with the female population, not only of the school but the whole town as well. It was full of eager ladies waiting to date Sasuke,

“News spread this fast??” then Naruto fainted. But no one noticed him.

“You sure you would do this?” Shikamaru asked from behind the prodigy.

“An Uchiha never breaks his promise.”

Shikamaru clapped Sasuke’s shoulder. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Uchiha. Haruno doesn’t deserve a commotion like this. You’re not even sure if what you’re feeling is really love or just territorial syndrome. Think about it.”

Sasuke turned around to face his friend. “What is territorial syndrome?”

Shikamaru heaved a deep sigh and impatiently dragged a white board and marker from nowhere and started explaining. “Territorial syndrome is a syndrome in one’s territory.”

Silence.

“Okay…I don’t get it.”

“Just kidding. Territorial syndrome is a syndrome one feels when someone is invading his territory.”

Silence.

“Okay...I still don’t get it..”

“Sakura liked you for so long then zap! She doesn’t like you anymore. Maybe this is your adjusting stage to the changes in your environment and that is really not love!” he whipped the white board and marker away.

“No. It’s not like that. Ever since, there was something in here.” he pointed to his heart. (This is PG-13 folks. Warning: Extreme mushiness) “That I feel whenever she’s around. Maybe it’s just now that I realized that it was love all along. I was running from emotions I wasn’t ready for. That’s why I hurt her. I never meant to do that.”

Silence.

“Shikamaru??”

(Shikamaru crying)
“OKAY! Good afternoon, people! I am your host, Uzumaki Naruto!”

“WE DON’T CARE!!”

“Yo, Sasuke! They’re mocking the host! Let’s just cancel this contest--”

“NO! WE’RE JUST JOKING!! WE LOVE YOU, NARUTO!!”

“Oh. In that case, who do you want to date now?”

“IT’S STILL SASUKE!”

“It’s no use…”

Naruto turned his head to the side and adjusted his collar a bit. “Okay, let’s start the contest ‘Dating Uchiha Sasuke’ applause please!” Aplause. “This aims to find the perfect girl for him. You will undergo different challenges to prove your worth. But I must warn you now; this is not for the faint-hearted.”

Gulp.

“And this is only for available, single, free ladies. Anyone who lacks the mentioned requirement, you can now go out of this hall. Peacefully.”

Silence.

Nobody moves.

“If no one goes out, might as well cancel--”

“KILL ALL THE GAYS!!”

“NO WAY! WE HAVE HUMAN RIGHTS TOO!!”

Naruto shrugged and smiled. “This would be easy.”
“Hey. It’s noisy in the hall.” Tenten stopped walking and curiously stared at the direction of the school hall where the noise is coming from.

“You want to go and look?” Ino asked a little hopefully.

The three looked at Sakura.

“Haiz. It can’t be helped.”
Naruto looked at the vastness of the hall unbelievably. “Almost h-half went out??” He shook his head. “It can’t be helped. So all of you who were remaining, Neji and Shikamaru.” points to the two. “are distributing little strips of paper. You will have to answer correctly my question. They who answered correctly will continue to the next level.”

Silence.

“Everybody got their papers? Yeah? Okay. Question is: What color of underwear is Sasuke wearing right now??”

Sasuke slid off his chair and fainted.
The four arrived at the hall already just in time to catch the question. “Honestly,” Hinata said. “That’s kind of an embarrassing question.” Ino sighed. “One shouldn’t expect a decent statement from someone like Naruto.” “Hey!” Hinata retorted. “That’s--”

“It’s black.”

“What’s black?”

“The color of his underwear.”

Silence.

“Aahhh.”

“And on Tuesdays, it’s blue.” Sakura continued.

“Aaahh….okay?”

“On Wednesdays, it’s green. Thursdays, brown. Fridays, red.”

“Sakura, you don’t need to say all those.”

“Saturdays, white. And on Sundays?”

Gulp.

“He doesn’t wear any.”

The three fainted.
After a full torture of 5 minutes…

“Okay! Time’s up! The answer is black! Those who got it wrong, you may go out now. Or else…”

“KILL!!”

And in the middle of the mess…

“You’re lying! It’s not black!”

“Yes it is.”

“If what you’re saying is true, then let’s see it!!”

Silence.

“YES!!”

Sasuke fainted again.
In the middle of the mess, the hall was crowded again because even the gays went inside to look at Sasuke in his underwear. So it was pretty hard to get out.

“Excuse me, ow, ow, ow.” The four tried to get out but it was really so crowded. Tenten was beginning to punch everyone in sight.

When suddenly…

“AAAAAHHH!!”

BLAG!

Sakura, after tripping and falling flat on her face, looked up and saw a hand extending at her. It was….

“Are you okay?”

“Gaara……”
And in the distance, Sasuke saw, above the heads of all his fan girls, his Sakura in the arms of….

His best friend.