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I officially hate Ryan Ross.
He’s an idiot.
God, it makes me annoyed just thinking about him.

Damn it.
I’m thinking about him now.
Damn.
I feel angry.

When I’m angry, bad things tend to happen.
Like...I dunno...

I need something to do.
Now.
Or else I’ll end up in some awful abyss of anger and frustration and...Ryan Ross.

You see, I’ve known him since...10, 11 years.
Enemies.
We hated each other then.
And we still do now.

Damn it.
Still thinking about him.

He’s such a freak.
He does everything he can to annoy me.
I don’t understand why.
I’ve never done anything to him.
Except maybe...

Never mind, that’s unimportant information.
Anyway...

There was this one stupid rumour, when we were both about...14.
That he liked me.
As in...More than a friend way.

I’ve got to admit, it made me laugh.
Ryan Ross, Brendon Urie’s arch enemy, fancies him?
Ha!
Yeah, right.

That’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.
But it could be true because that one time...

Shhh, unimportant information again.
Things got kinda...complicated.

Maybe I should tell you.
You’d like that right?

There was a school trip.
Way back when we were 14.
We’re 16 now by the way.
Anyway, it was a ski trip.
Some stupid girl decided to suggest we all played, ‘spin the bottle.’

Yeah, I know cliché right?
The spin the bottle game makes things different and all that shit.
But it wasn’t like that.

He wasn’t even told to kiss me.
He was just meant to kiss my cheek.
But he grabbed my hand, placed it on the back of his head, grabbed my chin in his hand and kissed me.

It felt good, to be kissed so forcefully and meaningfully.
What? Did I just say that?
I didn’t mean it.

Anyway, he kissed me so suddenly I didn’t have time to pull away.
I was taken so much by surprise that I fell backwards kinda, and because my hand was on the back of his head.
He fell on top of me, his lips still connected to mine.

If only I reacted and pushed him away, then the rumours of our apparent relationship wouldn’t have spread so widely.
Damn.
I really need to stop thinking about him.

I’m going out.
For a walk, or something.

Ryan’s POV.
Brendon probably told you right?
About how much we hate each other.

But, it’s not completely true.
I don’t hate him back.

Every single time I see him, my heart skips a beat.
I smile to myself and end up giggling insanely like a little girl.

And, I know he told you about the trip too, when I kissed him, it was like a dream.

I hate to think about him though.
That’s one thing we have in common.
We can’t stand to think about each other.

4:30 in the morning.
I can’t sleep.
He’s in my mind.
I need to do something.

I stand up slowly and get dressed.
I need air.
Fresh air.

I step quietly outside my house and creep down the unbelievably silent street.
Everything felt like it was standing still.
Like time had stopped or something.

I sound stupid now don’t I?

I walk briskly towards the public park.
I love going there, to sit on the swings and just think.

I get into the park so quickly; I didn’t even remember the journey.
There are two swings, and one is taken up.

I sit down on the swing, next to the silent figure.

“Can’t sleep?” He asks. His voice is quiet, yet smooth and delicate.
“Yeah. You?” I ask, my voice is quiet and almost unrecognisable, even to myself.

He just nods.
“Any reason?” He asks me.
Why should I tell him?
I don’t know him.

But that was why I did tell him.
He didn’t know me, I didn’t know him.
It didn’t matter.

“You see, there’s this guy I really like. But he hates me, and he always has.” I pause. “I kissed him this one time and he made a huge fuss about it.”

He nods.

“I can’t sleep because he’s always on my mind. And even though he doesn’t want me, I want him. I want him to be happy and safe and...Alive.” I stop talking, and notice that the figure has moved away slightly.

He then looks up at me and smiles broadly.

I almost fall off my swing with shock.

Brendon Urie....heard everything.

He opened his perfectly shaped mouth and said:

“So...I guess we should start over eh?”