Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > And I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You...
Chapter 2.
0 reviewsWhat exactly is up with Ryan?? And what is Brendon going to do about his little problem?
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Brendon's POV.
I walked down the street, unaware of where exactly I was going. I was thinking, thinking about what Ryan had said to me. The words echoed in my head. "you can tell me anything brenny. anything. I will always be there. no matter what!” Could I tell him? I searched my brain for the answer. But all I could find was a very big no. I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. But when he looked at me in the bathroom, his beautiful eyes showed understanding. They showed love. But not the same love I felt for him. But I guess that love would have to do. For now. Because I couldn't just live like that. Having to explain why I don't want to go out with him and Keltie is already hard enough. it just isn't simple. Why can't it be simple!? Suddenly my phone rang. As I pulled it out of my pocket to answer I check caller i.d. The i.d. said private. It could be anyone, so I answered the phone. "hello" I said. "Bren, are you ok? please come back." I knew that voice. "Ryan?" "yeah it’s me. look Brendon, I know something’s up and I can’t just stand by and watch it hurt you. Watch it hurt you so much that you cry, and watching you feel that bad makes me feel like a bad friend for not fixing it for you." "look Ry, there is nothing you can do for me right now, im sorry. but I just can’t tell you right now." and I hung up. I thought long and hard about what to do. And I made up my mind. I turned and headed towards the local bar.
next morning.
Ryan’s POV.
I woke up and the first thing that came to mind was Brendon. I need to know what’s up. I need to know he is feeling at least a little better. Once I know he is alright I will feel a bit better. I checked the phone to see if I had any messages, and I was surprised to see I had 1 message from an unknown number. I clicked to listen and I heard Brendon’s voice. "Hey! Ry-Ro! Have I ever told you how much of a good friend I think you are? no! well I am now going to! you are a beautiful person George Ryan Ross. You’re funny, selfless, un-mean, and you like pop-corn as well! and I have always thought you had cool style, so hanging around you made me look like a better person. I love you Ryan. Oh and did you know that you are a really good friend. Yeah I need you right now, but couldn't you help without knowing what’s going on? Because I just can’t tell you, no matter how much of a good friend you are. Also you totally ROCK at the guitar. Oh I have to go! BYE RYAN!" I didn’t know what to say. But I knew that this morning he was going to have a killer hangover. Should I go and see him? help him out with the hangover part? I thought about it in the shower. Yeah, I will, I will bring him breakfast and a coffee as well. So I turned off the shower, chose an outfit and straightened my hair. I went and found my key to Brendon’s apartment and left. I hope he is feeling a little better than yesterday, apart from the hangover part.
Brendon’s POV.
"Brendon? Bren! Brenny! Come On! Wake Up! I brang you breakfast!" I opened an eye and saw Ryan standing over me holding a bag of McDonalds. Then I felt the headache coming on. I sat up, yawning, which is then that I realized that I wasn't wearing anything but underwear and woolen socks. "I must look so bad right now!” I exclaimed as I took the maccas. “Don’t worry about it. You look fine” Ryan said. We sat in silence for a while. Him eating, I, trying to remember what happened last night. It was starting to come back to me. I went to the bar, and tried to drown my sorrows in a lot of vodka. And then…then I had…I had rung Ryan. What had I said? It must have been really stupid if I was that drunk.
“um, Ryan?” I asked “yeah?” Ryan said, with a kind of worried look on his face.
“last night, when I rung you, what exactly did I say?” I asked pretty nervously. He looked kind of shocked, and just as nervous as me. He also looked sad, tired and worn out. Was I exhausting him? “oh, um, I don’t remember” “oh” I went back to eating my bacon and egg McMuffin. I was trying so hard to remember, so hard it hurt my head. Then it came to me. In little pieces, ‘Hey! Ry-Ro! Have I ever told you how much of a good friend I think you are?’ ‘you are a beautiful person George Ryan Ross’ ‘I love you Ryan’ ‘I need you right now, but couldn't you help without knowing what’s going on? Because I just can’t tell you, no matter how much of a good friend you are.’ I must of gotten a weird look on my face, because Ryan asked “what’s up with you?” I am going to say something; I know he remembers what I said. I am pretty sure he knew I meant it. Did it embarrass him? Did it freak him out? No, it couldn’t have otherwise why would he be here?
“Ryan you remember. I know you do. I drank a lot last night, and I seem to remember, how could you not?!” I said, my voice cracking with anger and nervousness. “look Brendon, I don’t know how much you remember about last night. Yeah, sure, I remember what you said. But what did you want me to say? You were off your head, and I know you didn’t mean any of it. I know you don’t trust me enough to tell me what is up with you. I am still going to help, but how can you expect sympathy when no one knows why you want it?” he said to me, there was a hint of annoyance in his voice. And it got me angry. “im not looking for sympathy! How could you think that!? Did you think maybe there was a reason I don’t want to tell you about this! If it was different I would tell you, but it isn’t different so im not telling you. Situations ask things of you, you know that! And how did you know I didn’t mean any of it? You are a good friend; you do rock at the guitar! You are always here, and you’re a real nice guy! I have been friends with you for a while now, and I have discovered so much more about you! Your never mean unless you have a really, really good reason for it, you would never do anything ever to hurt a friend, you can uphold a stable relationship with your girlfriend because you know where your attention needs to be directed, your loud but quiet, your funny and everyone loves you. Your hair always does what you want it to do, and if it doesn’t you threaten it with scissors. You can’t dance, but you enjoy doing it. You are a beautiful photographer, which leads me to the part where you always seem to photograph really well. Your smile lights up a room and you have the most beautiful personality. Your sensitive but can be tough and you’re conscious about your size even though it’s perfect, I could go on for a while but I don’t think I have to. I know you want to help, but I don’t want to hurt you. Hurting anyone is the last thing I want to do. You should no that im getting better. I will be back to normal again, I promise. It’s just a phase, it’ll pass. But until then, don’t worry about my problems. I don’t want to worry about them. I don’t want you to worry about them.” I said that whole little speech without looking at him, without taking a breath, I had a fear I would stop. So finally I looked up, looked into his eyes, and saw tears. I wasn’t expecting tears. I couldn’t look, so I took a large gulp of coffee. Hiding my expression behind the cup.
Ryan’s POV.
Why am I crying? I don’t even understand my own emotions right now, they’re all muddled. I took a deep breath, “thank you Brendon” I said. He put the empty coffee cup down onto the table and said with a true smile “plenty more where that came from” He does seem to be getting better. “wanna watch T.V.?” he asked “sure” I smiled. We went and sat on the couch and he switched on the television to MTV and we saw Fall out Boy with that really awesome song, ‘Dance, Dance’ “how funny would it be if one day we were on MTV kicking fall out boy’s ass?” Brendon questioned “yeah it would be great! One day we’re looking at there music vids for tips, next day we’re beating them on the top 100!” Suddenly Brendon jumped up. For a second, I thought he was going to run out, but then he started dancing like a goofball. I cracked up at his Michael Jackson impersonation! He looked like a fish out of water! Not that I could do any better. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me up! “Come on Ry! You know you wanna attempt to dance!” he laughed. I laughed and joined in with Brendon, doing the Sprinkler. This was so much fun! The song finished and we both collapsed, laughing our heads off onto the couch. “We should do that more often” I laughed, Brendon nodded in agreement. Then Christina Aguilera came on, and we both started singing to it! We were both mucking around for a while, until my phone rang. I checked caller i.d. It was Keltie. I answered “Hey love.” And as I said that, I saw Brendon’s face droop a little. “Hey Ry, listen could we hook up later on?” it sounded kind of urgent. “Sure, where and when? Give me details” I listened and noted that I had to meet her in 30 mins at the local Milkshake Place. I hung up, said goodbye to Brendon, and went to Daniels Milkshake Parlor. It took just 10 mins to walk there, so I had time to kill. I ordered a Cookies and Cream milkshake, went and sat and waited. Time seemed to have gone quickly, because it seemed like 5 mins later that Keltie walked through the door. I waved to her, and she hurried over and slid into the seat opposite me. She had a serious look on her face. “We need to talk” she said.
I walked down the street, unaware of where exactly I was going. I was thinking, thinking about what Ryan had said to me. The words echoed in my head. "you can tell me anything brenny. anything. I will always be there. no matter what!” Could I tell him? I searched my brain for the answer. But all I could find was a very big no. I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't. But when he looked at me in the bathroom, his beautiful eyes showed understanding. They showed love. But not the same love I felt for him. But I guess that love would have to do. For now. Because I couldn't just live like that. Having to explain why I don't want to go out with him and Keltie is already hard enough. it just isn't simple. Why can't it be simple!? Suddenly my phone rang. As I pulled it out of my pocket to answer I check caller i.d. The i.d. said private. It could be anyone, so I answered the phone. "hello" I said. "Bren, are you ok? please come back." I knew that voice. "Ryan?" "yeah it’s me. look Brendon, I know something’s up and I can’t just stand by and watch it hurt you. Watch it hurt you so much that you cry, and watching you feel that bad makes me feel like a bad friend for not fixing it for you." "look Ry, there is nothing you can do for me right now, im sorry. but I just can’t tell you right now." and I hung up. I thought long and hard about what to do. And I made up my mind. I turned and headed towards the local bar.
next morning.
Ryan’s POV.
I woke up and the first thing that came to mind was Brendon. I need to know what’s up. I need to know he is feeling at least a little better. Once I know he is alright I will feel a bit better. I checked the phone to see if I had any messages, and I was surprised to see I had 1 message from an unknown number. I clicked to listen and I heard Brendon’s voice. "Hey! Ry-Ro! Have I ever told you how much of a good friend I think you are? no! well I am now going to! you are a beautiful person George Ryan Ross. You’re funny, selfless, un-mean, and you like pop-corn as well! and I have always thought you had cool style, so hanging around you made me look like a better person. I love you Ryan. Oh and did you know that you are a really good friend. Yeah I need you right now, but couldn't you help without knowing what’s going on? Because I just can’t tell you, no matter how much of a good friend you are. Also you totally ROCK at the guitar. Oh I have to go! BYE RYAN!" I didn’t know what to say. But I knew that this morning he was going to have a killer hangover. Should I go and see him? help him out with the hangover part? I thought about it in the shower. Yeah, I will, I will bring him breakfast and a coffee as well. So I turned off the shower, chose an outfit and straightened my hair. I went and found my key to Brendon’s apartment and left. I hope he is feeling a little better than yesterday, apart from the hangover part.
Brendon’s POV.
"Brendon? Bren! Brenny! Come On! Wake Up! I brang you breakfast!" I opened an eye and saw Ryan standing over me holding a bag of McDonalds. Then I felt the headache coming on. I sat up, yawning, which is then that I realized that I wasn't wearing anything but underwear and woolen socks. "I must look so bad right now!” I exclaimed as I took the maccas. “Don’t worry about it. You look fine” Ryan said. We sat in silence for a while. Him eating, I, trying to remember what happened last night. It was starting to come back to me. I went to the bar, and tried to drown my sorrows in a lot of vodka. And then…then I had…I had rung Ryan. What had I said? It must have been really stupid if I was that drunk.
“um, Ryan?” I asked “yeah?” Ryan said, with a kind of worried look on his face.
“last night, when I rung you, what exactly did I say?” I asked pretty nervously. He looked kind of shocked, and just as nervous as me. He also looked sad, tired and worn out. Was I exhausting him? “oh, um, I don’t remember” “oh” I went back to eating my bacon and egg McMuffin. I was trying so hard to remember, so hard it hurt my head. Then it came to me. In little pieces, ‘Hey! Ry-Ro! Have I ever told you how much of a good friend I think you are?’ ‘you are a beautiful person George Ryan Ross’ ‘I love you Ryan’ ‘I need you right now, but couldn't you help without knowing what’s going on? Because I just can’t tell you, no matter how much of a good friend you are.’ I must of gotten a weird look on my face, because Ryan asked “what’s up with you?” I am going to say something; I know he remembers what I said. I am pretty sure he knew I meant it. Did it embarrass him? Did it freak him out? No, it couldn’t have otherwise why would he be here?
“Ryan you remember. I know you do. I drank a lot last night, and I seem to remember, how could you not?!” I said, my voice cracking with anger and nervousness. “look Brendon, I don’t know how much you remember about last night. Yeah, sure, I remember what you said. But what did you want me to say? You were off your head, and I know you didn’t mean any of it. I know you don’t trust me enough to tell me what is up with you. I am still going to help, but how can you expect sympathy when no one knows why you want it?” he said to me, there was a hint of annoyance in his voice. And it got me angry. “im not looking for sympathy! How could you think that!? Did you think maybe there was a reason I don’t want to tell you about this! If it was different I would tell you, but it isn’t different so im not telling you. Situations ask things of you, you know that! And how did you know I didn’t mean any of it? You are a good friend; you do rock at the guitar! You are always here, and you’re a real nice guy! I have been friends with you for a while now, and I have discovered so much more about you! Your never mean unless you have a really, really good reason for it, you would never do anything ever to hurt a friend, you can uphold a stable relationship with your girlfriend because you know where your attention needs to be directed, your loud but quiet, your funny and everyone loves you. Your hair always does what you want it to do, and if it doesn’t you threaten it with scissors. You can’t dance, but you enjoy doing it. You are a beautiful photographer, which leads me to the part where you always seem to photograph really well. Your smile lights up a room and you have the most beautiful personality. Your sensitive but can be tough and you’re conscious about your size even though it’s perfect, I could go on for a while but I don’t think I have to. I know you want to help, but I don’t want to hurt you. Hurting anyone is the last thing I want to do. You should no that im getting better. I will be back to normal again, I promise. It’s just a phase, it’ll pass. But until then, don’t worry about my problems. I don’t want to worry about them. I don’t want you to worry about them.” I said that whole little speech without looking at him, without taking a breath, I had a fear I would stop. So finally I looked up, looked into his eyes, and saw tears. I wasn’t expecting tears. I couldn’t look, so I took a large gulp of coffee. Hiding my expression behind the cup.
Ryan’s POV.
Why am I crying? I don’t even understand my own emotions right now, they’re all muddled. I took a deep breath, “thank you Brendon” I said. He put the empty coffee cup down onto the table and said with a true smile “plenty more where that came from” He does seem to be getting better. “wanna watch T.V.?” he asked “sure” I smiled. We went and sat on the couch and he switched on the television to MTV and we saw Fall out Boy with that really awesome song, ‘Dance, Dance’ “how funny would it be if one day we were on MTV kicking fall out boy’s ass?” Brendon questioned “yeah it would be great! One day we’re looking at there music vids for tips, next day we’re beating them on the top 100!” Suddenly Brendon jumped up. For a second, I thought he was going to run out, but then he started dancing like a goofball. I cracked up at his Michael Jackson impersonation! He looked like a fish out of water! Not that I could do any better. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me up! “Come on Ry! You know you wanna attempt to dance!” he laughed. I laughed and joined in with Brendon, doing the Sprinkler. This was so much fun! The song finished and we both collapsed, laughing our heads off onto the couch. “We should do that more often” I laughed, Brendon nodded in agreement. Then Christina Aguilera came on, and we both started singing to it! We were both mucking around for a while, until my phone rang. I checked caller i.d. It was Keltie. I answered “Hey love.” And as I said that, I saw Brendon’s face droop a little. “Hey Ry, listen could we hook up later on?” it sounded kind of urgent. “Sure, where and when? Give me details” I listened and noted that I had to meet her in 30 mins at the local Milkshake Place. I hung up, said goodbye to Brendon, and went to Daniels Milkshake Parlor. It took just 10 mins to walk there, so I had time to kill. I ordered a Cookies and Cream milkshake, went and sat and waited. Time seemed to have gone quickly, because it seemed like 5 mins later that Keltie walked through the door. I waved to her, and she hurried over and slid into the seat opposite me. She had a serious look on her face. “We need to talk” she said.
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