FicWad

"Dead?" I repeated. "Troy's dead?"
He walked over and sat down beside me. "A friend of ours who was at the party and knew there was bad blood between Troy and me called Ray and told him."
"But how? When?" My mind was reeling.
"I don’t know for sure. Carrie went to his place and found him dead. She said she was worried about him because he'd called her complaining of feeling bad."
"But he just saw Jenny this morning?" I was trying to piece this all together.
"Yeah. Fuck, I don't know what to think."
"Jenny did say he seemed really out of it. Maybe he'd taken something, some drug."
Gerard nodded, "Troy was a user."
We both sat in stunned silence. Finally my mind cleared a bit, "If it was Troy messing with you then it's over." I said slowly. "Really over."
I could tell Gerard was going over everything in his mind. "I don't know what to think. I hated the guy but I didn't wish him dead."
I reached out and took his hand in mine, "I know that. Did Ray say anything else?"
"I told Ray you thought that maybe I had said something about Merri to Troy while I was fucked up."
He paused, "And?" I prompted.
"He was fucking pissed at me. He said we could have lost everything if I was such a fucking idiot that I'd told Troy something."
"It doesn't matter now." I said softly feeling his pain.
"Fuck Laura, do you really think I told him about Merri? Do you really think he's the one who's been fucking with me all this time?"
I wanted to believe this was finally over. "I think so." I answered. "Yeah, I think so."
"I just wanna know how he died." Gerard said standing. "I'm gonna call a few people who knew Troy. See what they've heard."
"Don't get to involved." I said suddenly having a bad thought, "People know there was bad blood between you and Troy. It wouldn't be good to draw attention to yourself."
He sat back down heavily. "Shit, you're right. Man, this is fucked up. I can't believe he's dead." Once more we lapsed into silence. Finally it was Gerard who spoke.
“There are still things that can’t be explained.”
I had realized this too. “Helen getting a call from Merri.” I said.
“Yeah and the artwork that was Merri’s. How could Troy have gotten it?”
I scooted over so he could take me in his arms, “Let’s think about this. Part of what’s happened could have been Troy. He could have fucked up the house. Especially since that happened after you had him fired. I’m sure he was pissed.”
Gerard nodded, “Yeah, that’s possible. But I saw Merri and so did Mikey.”
I reminded him softly, “You saw Merri after someone drugged you. That could easily have been Troy.”
He nodded slowly, “Okay, that’s possible but Mikey wasn’t on anything.”
I wanted to make him believe this could really be over. I wanted to make myself believe it. “What if he made a mistake? He said he only saw her for a brief moment and he was in a hurry to get outside because of the fight. Maybe he was wrong.”
Gerard thought this over. “Okay, maybe but still Helen said she heard from Merri.”
My mind was racing with possibilities. “What if Troy had someone helping him. Helen told me she almost didn’t recognize Merri’s voice.
“But why in the hell bring Helen into this? That’s just fucking vile.”
“Troy was pretty vile.” I said letting my hatred of the man show. “If he really wanted to fuck with you what better way then to really make it seem Merri was back? I’m sure lots of people knew she’s disappeared years ago.”
“Yeah, all of Mikey’s friends knew. Back when it happened lots of people talked about it.”
“So like I said before, what if Carrie was helping him? What if he had her call Helen?”
“You think Carrie knows about all this?” It was obvious the idea upset him.
“Maybe he just asked her to help him mess with you. We don’t even know for sure that he knew the truth about Merri. I think if he had known he would have blackmailed you not fucked with your brain.”
“This is so much to think about right now.” He said hugging me tightly. “I just really want to believe it’s over.”
I laid my head on his chest, “Me too.”
“Fuck” Gerard suddenly muttered, “If it was Troy than the bastard was in our apartment. He changed the picture on the wall. But if it was him then he knew the truth. The girl in the picture was stabbed.”
That thought caused a shiver to run down my spine. “I’m just so sorry Jenny got hurt because of this.” I said softly.
Beside me I felt Gerard twitch. He began to drum his fingers on the arm of the sofa. I understood when he started to do this it meant his nerves were tight. He wanted a drink. Slowly I snuggled even closer to him. “We have a lot to think about but for right now we need to relax and see what happens.”
“I’m fucking tired of seeing what’s gonna happen.” He said angrily.
I sighed, “Gee, please don’t get upset.”
He started to snap at me but suddenly stopped. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I turned in his arms so I could look in his face. “Oh no you don’t.”
He blinked “What?”
“Okay, you just totally backed off because I said not to get upset.” I said looking into his eyes.
“And you’re upset cause I just agreed with you?”
Okay now I had him confused. “I just want to know why you agreed with me.”
He gave me a very puzzled look, “Cause you’re right?” he guessed.
I rolled my eyes, “Now you’re trying to guess what you think I want to hear”
“Laura, what the fuck do you want me to say? I’m really trying here.”
Leaning foreword I brushed my lips on his. “I don’t want you to start agreeing with me because I’m pregnant.”
His shocked look made me laugh.
“That’s not what I’m dong.” He said trying to defend his actions.
“Oh really. So suddenly you’re pissed as hell but I say not to be and you just drop it and I’m not supposed to think that has anything to do with the baby.”
“Fuck what am I supposed to say now?” He shook his head sadly.
“I don’t want you to start hiding your feelings because of the baby. If you’re pissed I wanna know. If you’re upset or hurt I want to know. Don’t start hiding things from me.”
He shifted slightly on the sofa, “Okay but you have to know I’m gonna try to keep things as stress-free for you as I can.”
Now I laughed out loud. “Honey, I don’t know if I could deal with us having a stress-free life. It would be really weird.” I saw the hint of a smile in his eyes.
“Would be sorta strange wouldn’t it?”
“Oh hell yeah.” I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. “So I know what we could do to relieve some stress.” I purred.
He shook his head, “Oh no you don’t.”
“Don’t?” I tried to look innocent while my fingers stroked his earlobe.
He reached up and pulled my hand away from his ear, “No way, woman. You haven’t eaten yet. Got to make sure you eat right.”
I was touched by his concern. “So did you make dinner?”
“It’s in the oven and should be ready in a few minutes.”
I smiled, “So I eat a good dinner then what?” I asked snuggling into his arms and laid my head on his chest.
He didn’t answer so I lifted my head and looked into his face. I could see he was undecided. Holy shit, I didn’t want him to think it would be dangerous to make love. The doctor had said it was okay and the idea of not making love to him was unthinkable. “Gee?” I said softly. “It’s okay you know. Just no trampoline.” I teased.
“After dinner is desert.” He said slowly.
I smiled, “Yeah, desert.”

The baked chicken was wonderful. Shit, now I understood why I’d been so hungry for the past few weeks. I smiled to myself thinking about that old saying ‘eating for two’.
“I guess you really liked it.” Gerard said looking over at my very empty plate.
“Sure did.” I started to stand and help him clear the table but he shook his head.
“I’ll take care of this. Why don’t you go take your shower?”
“Oh, yes. I must get ready for desert.” I said raising my eyebrows suggestively. Much to my dismay he seemed to ignore my words.
I took a long hot shower and donned my robe. Yeah, I stood naked in front of the mirror before doing this. I turned sideways and tried to imagine looking pregnant. How long would it be before I started to show, I wondered. Happiness and excitement filled me.
When I left the bathroom Gerard met me in the hall. “Leave any hot water?” he kidded.
“Just a bit.” I answered giggling.
“I’m gonna hop in the shower.” He walked past me and into the bedroom. “Lay down and I’ll cover you up.”
Okay, have to admit this didn’t sound very romantic to me at all. However I did lie down and frowned at him.
“What?” He asked seeing the frown.
“Nothing.” I muttered. “Hurry, okay?”
He nodded and soon I heard the shower running. When he returned to the bedroom I had a list of baby names in my head. “What do you think about Rachel?”
He looked over at me. “Who’s Rachel?”
“As a name for a girl?” I explained laughing.
He shrugged, “It’s okay.”
So it was obvious he wasn’t into the baby name game. “Gee, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” He answered as he climbed into bed beside me. I pushed off my robe and rolled over on top of his body. “Would have been easier if you’d just left these off.” I said as I began to tug at his sweat pants.
He didn’t say anything so for the moment I left the pants alone and started kissing a trail from his neck to his chest. It didn’t take me long to get that he wasn’t really into this. I looked up and saw the he had his eyes closed. Taking my finger I tapped on his forehead until he opened his eyes.
“What?”
“Excuse me but wife trying to turn on her husband here.” I said giving him an evil look.
He gently pushed me off and rolled on his side. “I’m just sorta tired.”
Okay, my feelings were hurt. I moved over to my side of the bed and turned away from him. No, I just couldn’t let it go. “Is it cause I’m pregnant? Does that make me unattractive?” Shit, I was gonna cry.
He rolled me over to face him, “Laura, no. Of course not.”
“Then what’s wrong?” I sniffed.
Gently he reached out and brushed a tear from my cheek, “I’m afraid.” He whispered.
“But the doctor said it was okay.”
“That’s not it. I’m afraid about all of this. What if something happens to the baby? You will be devastated.”
“What about you?” I asked, “How would you feel?” I really needed to know.
Without missing a beat he said softly, “I’d be devastated too.”