FicWad

The next morning I woke up early for once. My room was bathing in the bright sunlight, throwing creepy shadows on my walls from the tree right outside my window. My eyes were aching from the sudden attack and I quickly turned around to lie on my stomach, burying my face into my warm pillow. I had no idea of what I was gonna do today, probably just sit around and wish I was back in Belleville. Or maybe I could call Sasha…

I climbed out of my bed and stretched out my muscles while trying to suppress a yawn. This summer break was the most boring ever. I had no one to talk to or meet except for my mom and even though she’s cool, I need someone in my own age… or anyway someone who hasn’t given birth to me.

I went down into the kitchen and started searching through the fridge for something eatable. I found some old pancakes that mom had made for dinner last week, which we didn’t eat and instead ordered Chinese food. I placed the plate with pancakes on the dinner table that finally had arrived the day before; it was really getting to you when you had to sit on the floor to eat. I ate the pancakes, even though they tasted quite funny, drank some milk from the carton and went back up in to room. I seriously had no idea what to do. My clothes were lying randomly sprawled out on the floor, wrinkly and unwashed, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t like I had someone to impress on anyway. I took my dirtiest jeans I owned, which once had been black but after not being washed since we moved, they were more grey than anything and a Ramones hoodie over a plain black t-shirt.

So… what to do, what to do… I could always just go to the playground and spend my whole day there, moaning about my meaningless life. Yeah, I could do that… I bounced down the stairs, feeling a bit better now when I had something to do even though it wasn’t exactly like a trip to Disneyland. I pulled on my faithful, pink converse, got outside and locked the door behind me. The sky was grey and small raindrops were falling from the sky, one of those nice rains that aren’t pouring down and making you soaking wet.

*

I reached the playground minutes later, only to see the girl again sitting on the swing. Her feet were barely touching the ground as she rocked back and forth, staring down in her lap just like last time as if she had something there.

“Hi” I said quickly and my eyes widened when the girl looked up at me. It wasn’t a girl, it was a boy, but his long, brownish black hair made him look quite feminine when you couldn’t see his face.

“Hi again” he said back, looking back down in his lap. So obviously, he remembers me, so why isn’t he running away like last time? The swing next to him was the only place to sit except for in the sand and I really didn’t wanna go home just because my own shyness so I sat down on it.

“Why did you run away last time?”

My brain wasn’t really functioning at the moment; I would never talk to a stranger like this. But I guess that’s what loneliness does to you…

“Dude, this is Jersey and it was 10pm…” he said, looking up from his lap as he talked to me and then let his gaze drop down once again. “You must be new here”

“Yeah, I am”

“Dammit” he said, looking at his watch, “I gotta go. I’ll see you around”

And he disappeared just as quickly as he did last time, only this time he didn’t run straight into the bushes, but actually used the street. His movements were smooth, like a cat’s, or maybe a vampire in the dark. Yeah, a vampire was the best way to describe him. It was like he didn’t quite fit in into the morning sun that was gazing down on us and seeing as his skin was more snow-white than anything else, he thought so too.

And he was right about seeing him around; I saw him several more times at the playground, always sitting with his head bent down. I never walked up to him again, mostly because I was new here and this was probably more his place than mine, but also because I was shy. I mean, yeah, I wanted friends, but this dude frightened me a bit. He would always sit on ‘my’ swing, always looking down in his lap and always wear black. Sure, I used a lot of black clothes, but if I had to wear a white shirt, I wouldn’t exactly commit suicide.

Most of the time I came to the playground, he wasn’t there though. He was always there at nights while I was mostly there whenever my mom was at work. She really loved her new job, I don’t know why. Washing other peoples filthy hair isn’t exactly a career I would choose, but if she’s happy, I’m happy.

*

The front door opened and was closed with a bang that made the walls shake slightly and I jumped up from my bed where I’d been sitting all day now, reading comic books and listening to music.

“Linda?” I called, “Is that you?”

“Y-yeah” I heard her call back, her voice breaking a bit before founding strength. I sat back down on the bed.

“Are you okay?”
Loud sobs reached my ears from downstairs and once again, I jumped up from my bed, but this time I actually did something more than just stand beside it. Turning the doorknob, I ran out of my room and down the stairs, only to see mom standing in the kitchen, her hands supporting her as she stood bend over the kitchen table. She was crying, but her long, dark hair was covering her face as she stared down at the table, but her shaking back and shoulders betrayed her calm surface.


“Linda?” I asked, slowly walking up to her, “Mom?”

“I’m okay, Frank…” she said with a thick voice that only made her cry harder.

“I just… I blew it, honey…”

“What?” I was now standing next to her, comfortingly putting my arm around her back. She stopped shaking for a second and straightened up a bit, looking at me instead of at the table underneath her.

“The job” she said with a suffocated voice. “I totally blew it…”

“What happened?”

“I m-messed up… It was just the stupidest thing… I accidentally dyed my costumer’s hair purple”

I forced myself not to smile and instead pulled her into a hug. She was around my height, if not a few centimetres taller.

“It’s okay, Linda…” I cooed in her ear. “Just tell them that it was a mistake”

“I… I did. They wouldn’t listen to me, just because that cow- I mean, just because my costumer wouldn’t stop yelling”

“They… They didn’t, you know, fire you, right?” I asked, loosing all of my desire to smile as I saw more tears appear in her blue eyes. “They can’t fire you for such a stupid thing! Just give the cow a free treatment and dye her hair back or something!”

“It’s not that easy” she sighed, wiping the tears away from her cheeks, but it was in vain. There was coming new ones for every second. “She’s their most important costumer and she swore not to return to that saloon after what I did”

“Oh... I’m so sorry for you, Lin” I said, now hugging her properly with my arms around her neck.

“So am I… I really loved that job, Frankie… What am I gonna do now?”

“I think you’re gonna go back tomorrow and say that you’re really sorry and that you even can work for free a couple of days to make up what you did and then they can re-hire you”

“But what if they won’t take me back?” she asked and finally stopped crying.

Her cheeks were glimmering from the streetlight outside our kitchen window by the tears she’d cried. I really hated seeing her like this, so sad. I haven’t seen her crying since Stephen’s funeral.


“Then it’s their loss” I smiled, patting her cheek jokingly. She smiled back, dragging her fingers across her cheeks to wipe away the tears once again.

“What have I done to deserve such an amazing son?”

“You had sex with a loser”

“Oh right, I forgot that” she laughed and I smiled inwards, happy that she was feeling better, “But you know, he wasn’t a loser. He just… wanted a career more than a family”

“That’s the definition of a loser” I said and she nudged my shoulder.
“You’re right…” she laughed, “Anyways, do you wanna come to the Way’s house with me this time?” it might seem like just another question, but her voice was pleading, her tear-wet eyelashes surrounding her begging eyes.

“Visiting the neighbours? Sure…” I said slowly and she skipped childishly.

“Yay!”

“You seem to be a lot happier now” I smirked.

“What can I say, I’ve raised a good comforter” she laughed, “I’ll just put on some new make up and then we’ll be on our way, okay?”

“Yeah” I said, regretting immediately that I said I would come. “But just so you know, I’ll just be there for ten minutes or so”

“That’s fine, I just want you to meet them” she said, already half way up the stairs.

“But one more thing, I won’t put on any special clothes… If they don’t like my style then that’s their problem”

“Don’t worry about that, one of their sons are kinda alternative. Haven’t really seen their oldest kid, but from what Donna says, he’s somewhat of a rebel too” she shouted from upstairs.

“Oh… Dammit” I said, whispering the last word. I didn’t have any more ways of getting out of it. Mom came down minutes later with new make up applied on her already pretty face and she gestured at the door for me.

“Let’s go”

“I… uh…” I said, frantically looking for a reason I couldn’t come with her.

“You don’t wanna come, huh?”

“No… Please, don’t make me!” I pleaded, folding my hands and bowing my hands down, as if I was praying.

“Ten minutes” she said, putting on her shoes. “That’s all I’m asking for, Frankie”

“But-“

“Ten minutes! Please!”

“Fine…” I sighed, walking up to her and putting on my shoes as well. “But I won’t act all social and talkative…”

“I never expected you to either” she smirked, running her hand through her long hair to brush it away from her face, only to reveal her pale, wrinkle-free forehead. “Let’s go, aight?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“No” she said, still smirking as she pushed me out the door.




CHAPTER 4

“Hi Donna!” mom said happily, giving a blonde woman a one-armed hug.

“Hi Linda!” the woman, Donna, responded, “And this must be your son?”

“Yeah,” mom said, giving me an unnoticeable push forward. “This is Frank”

“Hey…” I said and Donna shook my outstretched hand. She looked kinda old, like grandma with her scrawny hands and white/blonde hair.

“Nice to finally meet you Frank, your mother talks a lot about you”

“I know. She always talks too much” I laughed, earning another push from mom, this with the intent of making me shut up.

“Well, don’t you just stand there, come in, come in!” Donna exclaimed, suddenly realizing we were still standing in the threshold. Nervously, I stepped inside, remembering that Donna had two sons and I hoped they weren’t assholes who’d just mock me.

The house was smaller than ours, which I found kinda weird since we’re just two, and this household had four persons. There was a small kitchen with a small kitchen table pressed up under the window with view over the garden outside, a lounge room with a corner-couch and an armchair standing in front of a small coffee table. The bottom floor went in the colors yellow, white and grey and all in all, it looked really cosy. Opposite of the kitchen entrance was a closed door with a chain lock hanging from the handle without really locking it; it looked like it was just there as decoration.

“You’re a fucking pain in the ass, Mikey!” a deep, but still slightly nasal voice rung through the house and Donna froze in the hallway, rolling her eyes before stepping over to the foot of the stairs that led up to the second floor.

“Mom!” another voice yelled, but this one didn’t sound irritated, more amused. “Help, Gerard says he’s gonna kill me!”

“Mikey, just get down here and leave your brother alone” Donna called up the stairs, sighing as there was a loud thump and a groan. “Boys!”

“Oww, you fucking broke my leg!”

“Too fucking bad, I warned you! Now, do what mom says; fuck off!”

“I’m so sorry about those two…” Donna sighed, gesturing at the second floor. “They usually get along, but they’ve always had the fantastic talent of fighting when we’re having guests over”

“It’s okay, Frankie can talk ‘em out of it” mom said, smiling at me.

“What?” I asked, terrified at the mere thought of going upstairs. “I can?”

“Of course, honey… Go” she said, pushing me in towards the stairs, but before she could actually force me to go up, a black figure came rushing down, almost knocking mom over as it sprinted on to the lounge room.

“Mikey!” Donna yelled, “Come back here right this second!”

The figure slowly emerged from the lounge room and as soon as our eyes met, I knew who he was.

“You!” I exclaimed, earning some surprised looks from our moms.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Do you know each other?” mom asked, but we shook our heads.

“We’ve just met at a playground a couple of times…” the boy answered.

“Oh, well in that case, Frank, this is Mikey, my youngest son” Donna introduced us, smiling. “I think you’re in the same age… Fourteen, am I right?”

“Yeah” I said, nodding at her.

“Why don’t you two go and sit down in the living room while Linda and I’ll make some coffee?” Donna said, gesturing at the lounge room but then she shook her head, “No wait, Mikey, first you’re gonna explain what that was all about…”

“What?” Mikey asked innocently.

“Your little row with your brother, young man”

“Oh…” Mikey said, still looking innocent, “Well… he… erm… I…”

“Micheal” Donna said warningly, raising her eyebrows.

“Alright, alright! I was bored and took it out on him” Mikey said in a monotone voice, as if he had used that sentence a lot. “Won’t happen again”

“I doubt it” Donna sighed, “So sorry about this…” she apologized to mom and me before once again gesturing at the lounge room. “You boys can go and get to know each other and Mikey, if Gerard comes down, I swear to god I’ll make sure I only have one son in the end of the day if you piss him off…”

“Mom, don’t kill Gerard, he’s pretty cool when he’s not a total maniac” Mikey smirked, and mocked a look of terror as Donna raised her hand threatfully like she was about to slap him, but Mikey jumped away, laughing at her mocked stern face. “I love you too mom”

She sighed helplessly before walking into the kitchen with my mom behind her and I looked at Mikey. He shrugged and went into the lounge room and I followed.

“What was your name again?” Mikey asked curiously as he plonked down on a cream-coloured couch.

“Frank” I answered, “But everyone calls me Frankie”

“Cool,” he said and the room fell silent, with only the laughter from our moms to be heard. I looked around and noticed that the room wasn’t that small now when you actually were in it, but still way too small for a family of four.

“Yo shitface” Mikey grinned and at first I thought he was talking to me when I heard footsteps behind me. “What’s up?”

“The roof, you moron” the deep, nasal voice answered. I wanted to turn around and see who it was, but thought it would look too stupid so instead I pretended my fingernails were the most interesting view I’d ever seen. “And stop saying ‘yo’ all the time”

Mikey shrugged, getting up from the couch and looked at the unknown person behind me.

“Mom’s friend is here again, and this is her son, Frank” he said, gesturing at me. That was my chance of finally turning around, so I did and saw a boy who must’ve been a bit older than me with black hair and a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Hey, I’m Gerard” he said, smiling as he walked up to me, reaching out his hand. He had this weird way of walking, or not weird, but there was something about it that made me look at his hips.

“I’m Frank, as you know” I responded, taking his outstretched hand in mine. “So you’re Mikey’s brother?”

“Sadly, yes” both Gerard and Mikey said, making both of them laugh. They didn’t seem too aggressive around each other as I had thought, seeing as the first impression of them had been pretty bad.

“And speaking of you, Mikey, mom said that you’re gonna get your ass upstairs and fix my doorknob that you broke, or else she’ll take away your straightener”

“Bastard…” Mikey muttered, but obeyed and left the room. I looked at Gerard, who gave me a quick glance before speaking.

“So… How old are you?”

“Fourteen, like Mikey. You?”

“Sixteen” he smiled and that glimpse of mischievousness that had disappeared when he was talking to Mikey came back when he looked at me. “How long have you been living here?”

“For er… two weeks” I told him, “Or something like that”

“Too bad I haven’t seen you around before…” he said, smiling as he gazed at me intently. Okay, weird feeling rising in my chest… Pleasant feeling, that is.

“Yeah, sure is...” I said, gazing back at him. He was really cute, I had to admit that. I had no idea if he was flirting with me or not, but it sure as hell felt like it.

“Are you flirting with me?” he asked, as if he was reading my thoughts, leaning back in the couch, and smirked at me. “Because if you are, what are you doing this Friday?”

“Uhm…” I said, pretending to remember if I had any plans, but actually, my head was spinning. I’m being asked out by a guy… This is pretty cool… You are supposed to experiment in my age… I think… “Nothing too important”

“Wanna go see a movie?”

“Like a date?” I asked, smiling as he nodded, “Sure”

“Great. We’ll meet outside the cinema around… eight?”

“Not to seem spoiled, but could you like… pick me up at my house?” I asked, laughing, “I don’t even know what street I’m living on, so I’m pretty sure I don’t know where the cinema’s at”

“Sure… Frank” he smiled, then we were interrupted by a loud bang from upstairs. Gerard closed his eyes, clenching his teeth as he was counting down silently in his head to calm himself down. He opened his eyes, looking at me apologetically as he got up from the couch.

“Excuse me, but I have to er-… beat up my brother” he said, running up the stairs. Feeling that my work here was done, I went out into the kitchen, said good bye to Donna and went home.

This is so cool, I have a date! I’ve only been on two dates before, both with girls; the first one really sucked. I was so nervous that I just fucked up the whole evening, and since the girl I was out with didn’t like me that much, she was fairly pissed when we got home. My second date was better, it was actually fun, but as we got home, we both realized we were nothing more than friends – that was a date with Sasha. But now I have a date with a guy! A cute guy, that is…


“Hey, why did you run out on us like that?” mom asked as she entered the living room one hour later. “Donna started freaking out and thought that her sons had been rude”

Oh, believe me, they were everything but rude.

“I told you I’d just stay for a few minutes” I said and she gave me a weird look.

“Why are you looking so… nervous?”

“Am I?” I said, acting confused, “Well, I’m not so-“

“Frank…” she said, smiling lightly as she cocked her head to the side.

“It’s nothing. I’m going to bed, good night Linda”

I rose from the couch, but as I walked past her, she took a hold of my shoulders, spinning me around so I was once again facing the couch. I sighed, knowing all too well that I would not be able to leave the room until I had told her what was on my mind, which I knew I had to anyway. I had talked to her about girls and stuff, but never discussed homosexuality or anything, and I mean, I kinda knew I was gay since girls didn’t attract me what so ever. But I really didn’t care what I was, my sexuality is just a small part of me, so why get so worked up or deny it? I’m just not sure mom will share my opinion.

“Is something wrong, sweetheart?” she asked, now looking concern. Suddenly, I regretted saying yes to that date with that Gerard guy. What if mom would totally freak out and hate me for the rest of my life just because of this? I don’t even know the guy and he might ruin my whole life!

“Linda… you know that guy, Donna’s oldest son Gerard?”

“Yeah, he’s a sweet kid… He thought I was your sister” she smiled, leading me over to the couch where we sat down. “Now you’re making me worried, Frankie… Did he do anything to you?”

“No” I laughed, getting a weird picture of Gerard raping me in the living room, but then got serious once again when I remembered the situation I was in. “Or well, he did, but nothing bad”

“Go on”

“He, uhm…”

What if she’ll disown me?

“We were… er…”

What if she’ll hate me?

“I…”

What if she won’t talk to me again?

Oh come on, this is my mom we’re talking about… My wonderful mom, the most important person in my life, the one I can talk about everything with. She was just fifteen when she got me, so she’s just in her late twenties which have made her the coolest mom ever. Since she’s still what I’d call young, she understands how some things are really important to me, even though a ‘real’ mom would think it was ridiculous.

“Gerard he… uhm… he kinda asked me out…” I said slowly, looking down at her knees shyly. “And I uhm… said yes”

She furrowed her eyebrows.

“I didn’t know you were gay” she said, confused.

“Does- does it matter?” I asked, stuttering as I noticed my mouth was filled with saliva that I, in my nervousness, had forgotten to swallow.

“What? That he asked you out?”

“No, that I’m gay”

She rolled her eyes and before I could stop her, she ruffled up my hair.

“Don’t be stupid, Frank.” she smiled, “I would be here for you even if you turned out to be a shitty little Nazi… I wouldn’t agree with you, but I would love you anyway, you know that. Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“Nope” I smiled, a warm feeling in my chest appeared as mom gave me a hug and I felt that I had never loved her more than what I do right now.

“Good, then I’m going to bed… Night, honey” she said, “And you know you can always talk to me about this stuff, like always… I do appreciate it. A lot”

“I know, Linda. Thank you… and good night”

“Night, I love you”

“Love you too” I called after her as she bounced up the stairs. That went well…


As Friday approached, so did my date and I was really nervous. This was the first time in two weeks that I actually had plans and something to look forward too, but yet it was scary. He was two years older than me, and why would a sixteen year old go out with a fourteen year old? And how the hell could he know I was gay? Do I look gay? He started flirting with me, so it was kinda easy for me to realize… Dammit, I don’t wanna look gay!

“You look troubled” mom stated where we sat at the kitchen table, eating dinner. “Nervous about tonight?”

“Yeah” I answered, then hesitated before asking, “If you didn’t know me, would you’ve seen that I don’t like girls?”

“No, why?”

“Just wondering…” I said evasively, “But why would a sixteen year old want to go out with me?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I wanna say because you’re damn cute, but I know you’ll just laugh, so I won’t” she responded, smiling widely, “It’s gonna be fine, Frankie, don’t worry. Maybe he just asked you out on instinct, ‘coz you were nice”

“Nice… Yeah” I said, rolling my eyes.

“What do you want me to say then?”

“I don’t know” I sighed and threw a quick glance at the clock on the wall and felt a jolt in my stomach. “He’ll be here in half an hour”

“Well, then you better go and get ready” she said, smirking as I hesitated, “Come on, Frankie, it’s not like he’s gonna rape you or anything!”

“You’re probably the only mom in America who wants their son to go out with a two years older guy…” I whined, almost wanting her to forbid me at this point.

“Okay, we’ll do like this. You go on this date and if he rapes you or behaves badly in any way, you’ll tell me and I’ll go across the street and tell his mommy” she giggled and felt a sudden urge to throw my glass of water at her. “We’re going over for dinner tomorrow anyway, so I can talk to Donna about her naughty son then”

“I thought you were gonna beat the shit outta him” I murmured, glancing at her with a smile.

“Oh believe me; it’s much worse telling his mom” she said, “Now get your ass upstairs and change your clothes and put on some more make up or whatever… Damn, it feels like I’m having a daughter instead of a boy, how could I miss that your gay?! You wear make up for crying out loud!”

“You were the one who gave me my first eyeliner, Einstein… Blame yourself. By the way, I know you love it” I smirked, getting up from my chair.

“Love what?”

“Having a weird son”

“You bet” she winked at me and made a waving gesture, “Go! You don’t want him to think you’re hideous on your first date, right?”

“I’m not hideous! How rude!” I exclaimed, stomping out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I heard her laugh and I rolled my eyes, making my way to the bathroom. My faithful eyeliner lay on the sink and I picked it up, but then put it down again. I didn’t feel like wearing it tonight…

Since I’d already taken a shower earlier before, I went into my room to find some acceptable clothes. What do you wear on a date with a two year older guy? I’m getting quite obsessed with the fact that he’s older than me, I think…

Finally, after 20 minutes of debating whether wearing a red Ramones shirt or a black Misfits shirt, I settled with the Misfits shirt and now went over to what jeans I was gonna wear. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, cutting through the silence in my room like a knife. I panicked, frantically searching my room for any jeans and found a pair under my bed. They were too small, but as I heard mom walking towards the front door, I slipped them on. I said ‘slipped’ them on, but it was more pressing them on. They were incredibly tight and I cursed myself for spending so much time choosing my shirt.

“Frank!” mom called. I threw a quick glance in the mirror, smiling as I noticed my hair was lying exactly how I wanted it, which kinda meant that it was uncontrollable and I made my way down. Mom was no longer in the hall, there was only Gerard, looking shy, but smiled as he saw me.

“Hey” he said, is mischievous eyes gazing at me, “You look great”

“So do you” I smiled back approvingly at his black jeans, studded belt and leather jacket. He and Mikey looked a lot like each other, but still not. Their styles of clothes were the same, and they were both pretty pale, but yet they didn’t look at each other at all. “Let’s go before Linda embarrasses me”

“I heard that!” mom’s voice rung from the kitchen and I hurriedly pushed Gerard out, closing the door behind me. I didn’t need her to embarrass me right now…

“Linda? Your mom?” Gerard asked as we walked down the path of my garden out to the street. It was a warm evening, the sky coloured in blue, red and purple but with streaks of gold where the sun was about to go down under the rooftops.

“Yeah, you met her the day I came over. In the kitchen…”

“I know who she is, I just…” he said, scrunching up his nose and looked at me with a curious face, “Why do you call her Linda?”

“Cuz her name’s Linda” I shrugged, “Feels stupid to call her mom all the time”

“Right” Gerard laughed and for a second I regretted telling him that; now he probably thought I’m some retarded kid who tries to be different…

We walked on without saying too much, he complimented my Misfits shirt and I told him his leather jacket was cool. As we reached the end of the street we were living on, he laughed as I turned left instead of right as I thought the cinema were in that direction.

“Wow, you really don’t know where it is” he laughed.

“Told you.” I answered.

“Sorry, I thought you were kidding...”

“Well, I wasn’t. The only place I’ve been to is that playground where I met your brother”

“Mikey? What playground?” he asked, now gesturing with his hand what direction we were about to go so I wouldn’t have to stop and wait for him to go first.

“Erm… The playground in the park?” I said, but it sounded more like a question as we both knew there were more than one playground there, “Sorry, I don’t know which one of them. No one seems to go there though”

“Ooh, that playground!” he said as it dawned on him, “Ha, Mikey’s not allowed to go there… I can use this against him”

“Why’s he not allowed to go there?” I asked, slightly relieved that we had something to talk about, even though we were, in fact, talking about his younger brother. But at least it’s better than a long, awkward silence.

“It’s a crime scene” Gerard explained, pushing me lightly to the left to make me understand we had to cross the street. “Two people were murdered there two years ago”

“Oh” I said and fell silent for a moment before asking; “Do they really think someone’s gonna murder anyone there again?”

“Why take the chance?” he shrugged and then nodded towards a cinema, “We’re here”


[A/N I’m in a shitty mood so I re-wrote this shit like… three times >o< So sorry if it’s shit, my best friend’s dad had a heart attack so I can’t think clear. Sorry