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If You Give A Gerard A Coffee

By: Amanda Cross
Based on "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie" by Laura Joffe Numeroff


If you give a Gerard a coffee,

He’s going ask for a donut..

When you give him the donut,

He’ll probably ask for a glazed donut.

When he’s finished, he’ll ask for a paper towel.

Then he’ll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn’t have coffee teeth.

When he looks in the mirror, he might notice he has coffee teeth. So he’ll probably ask for a tooth brush.

When he’s finished brushing his teeth, he’ll want water to clean the tooth brush. He’ll start cleaning.

He might get so carried away that he washes every tooth brush in the house.

He may even wash the sinks as well.

When he’s done, he’ll probably be very sleepy.

You’ll have to fix the couch for him, and find a way to explain the grown man sleeping on the couch.

He’ll lay on the couch, make himself as comfortable as possible, even fluff the couch pillows a few time. He’ll probably want you to read him some Doom Patrol.

So you read him one of his comics, and he’ll ask to see the pictures.

When he looks at the pictures, he gets so excited because he just got inspiration for his new installment of The Umbrella Academy.

He’ll draw his comic strip.

When his picture is finished, he’ll want to sign his name, he doesn’t want you to steal his work.

He wants to sign it with a pen.

Then he wants to hang it on your fridge, till after he’s done bugging you.

So he’ll need a magnet.

He will hang up his drawing, and stand back a little to admire it. Looking at the fridge reminds him that he’s hungry.

So…

He’ll ask for a donut.

And if he ask for a donut, chances are,

He’ll want coffee to go with it.