FicWad

A/N: I don’t own Harry Potter and wouldn’t particularly care to. I would like a rental agreement with option to buy for Hermione Granger. A short term contract with Nyphadora Tonks wouldn’t be turned down. A Long-term agreement with Luna Lovegood would probably be a whole lot of fun. Any time Padma Patil wants to open negotiations, call me and oh for a weekend with Fleur. Oddly Lavender and Padma’s sister (despite being her twin) Parvarti do nothing for me…

A/N2: My deepest apologies to Roy Zimmerman and the rest of the Foremen, a band gone long before it’s time. I really shouldn’t listen to music when plotting a Harry Potter story. I’m So Sorry.

Harry Potter and His Slytherin Girlfriend

She's a real bitch
And she's over-compensates
She put out
By second dates
She doesn't like the Muggle Born so it's no surprise
I can be her lover long as I criticize

She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Got a tiny little heart so full of passion
She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Every Friday we go Mudblood bashin'

She got the last twelve dark lords
Tattooed where her lower cheeks part
Beside an autographed portrait of Gilderoy Lockhart
And from the day I checked her out from front to back
I knew her private dungeon could take up the slack

She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Got a tiny little heart so full of passion
She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Every Sunday we go Blood-Traitor slashin'

(spoken)
Oh, baby, I close my eyes and I can see you ordering breakfast.
You're having the black pudding...
Pureblood only.
Come on, baby,
Kick my house elf, claim the imperius, make me feel like a Malfoy...

(sung)
She only deals in quality potions and wands
She’s got Girl Guide Biscuits made from real Girl Guides

She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Got a tiny little heart so full of passion
She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Her white Death Eaters Mask and her red stiletto heels are clashin'

She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Think she's lookin' for a good tongue lashin'
She’s My Slytherin girlfriend
Every summer we behave in a pureblood fashion