Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Big Box of Silliness
A/N: I don’t own Harry Potter and wouldn’t particularly care to. I would like a rental agreement with option to buy for Hermione Granger. A short term contract with Nyphadora Tonks wouldn’t be turned down. A Long-term agreement with Luna Lovegood would probably be a whole lot of fun. Any time Padma Patil wants to open negotiations, call me and oh for a weekend with Fleur. Oddly Lavender and Padma’s sister (despite being her twin) Parvarti do nothing for me…
A/N2: My deepest apologies to Al Yankovic. I’m sorry, but it needed to be done. This is the last one, I promise. Honest.
The Night Harry Went Crazy
Down in the kitchens all the elves were makin' fancy foods
For the good Pure Blood babes and the good Pure Blood doods
When the chosen one busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap fire whiskey on his breath
From his head to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a scrawny little drunken disgruntled Magical Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Hello Everyone - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Harry went crazy
The night Harry Potter went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, Hogwarts is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Hagrid and puddles of vomit
And he tied up his housemates and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Ron into Weasley sausage
He got Umbridge and Snape with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Albus just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Draco
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like a taco!"
The night Harry went crazy
The night the boy who lived went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the Quidditch pitch
Without steppin' in Slytherin guts
There's the Aurors and Hit Wizards.
There's a man from the Quibbler too
And brooms circlin' 'round in the sky
And the spells are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Harry, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a shy guy
Yes, Children, now Harry is dead
Some guy from the hit team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, now that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the scar head to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more Hogwarts for the children's enjoyment
And the house elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Hermione Granger, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Harry went crazy
The night Mr. Potter flipped
Risked his life for some ungrateful bastards
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Harry went crazy
The night Harry Potter went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
A/N2: My deepest apologies to Al Yankovic. I’m sorry, but it needed to be done. This is the last one, I promise. Honest.
The Night Harry Went Crazy
Down in the kitchens all the elves were makin' fancy foods
For the good Pure Blood babes and the good Pure Blood doods
When the chosen one busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap fire whiskey on his breath
From his head to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a scrawny little drunken disgruntled Magical Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Hello Everyone - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Harry went crazy
The night Harry Potter went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, Hogwarts is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Hagrid and puddles of vomit
And he tied up his housemates and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Ron into Weasley sausage
He got Umbridge and Snape with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Albus just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Draco
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like a taco!"
The night Harry went crazy
The night the boy who lived went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the Quidditch pitch
Without steppin' in Slytherin guts
There's the Aurors and Hit Wizards.
There's a man from the Quibbler too
And brooms circlin' 'round in the sky
And the spells are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Harry, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a shy guy
Yes, Children, now Harry is dead
Some guy from the hit team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, now that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the scar head to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more Hogwarts for the children's enjoyment
And the house elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Hermione Granger, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Harry went crazy
The night Mr. Potter flipped
Risked his life for some ungrateful bastards
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Harry went crazy
The night Harry Potter went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
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