Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
Eternity
One-Shot Fanfic
“Brendon?” she said cautiously. The way he said his name, and the look on her face confirmed his worst fear.
“No. No! Please, don’t tell me its back!” he begged, placing both hands on her shoulders, praying that she would say no. She let a tear fall from her eyes and nodded. Brendon looked at her wide-eyed and began crying as he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let go. She rubbed his back as he cried into her shoulder and let the stream of salty tears washed down her own face as well.
According to the doctors, the tumor was back and it was here to stay. Bailey had been battling it for about two years, and a few months ago it had supposedly disappeared. However, the doctor had discovered its return during a visit to the hospital after Bailey had had a major headache.
“No! It can’t be true!” Brendon sobbed. He looked at her with his now bloodshot eyes. “I can’t lose you Bailey! I don’t want you to die!”
“Brendon, shh, shh baby, its okay.” Bailey said softly, trying to sooth him. “Its okay, I know it sucks, but we both knew it was going to happen sooner or later.”
“But why now? Now when I need you the most!” he asked, sounding as though he were talking to God more than to her. “I can’t lose you Bailey. I’ll die if you go!”
That response shocked her more than the news of her sickness. “No! Brendon, please! Promise me you will not do anything crazy, please!” Her voice was frantic.
“I’m not going to have any reason to live if your not here.” Brendon replied, firmly but quietly.
Bailey shook her head. “Brendon, baby. You may not realize this, but you are such part of a lot of people’s lives. If you left, you would be causing a lot of people pain.”
“I highly doubt a lot of people would miss me.”
Bailey sighed. “What about your mom and dad?”
Brendon shook his head. “This don’t care. If they did, they wouldn’t be fighting all the time.”
“What about Spencer? And Jon? And Ryan?”
Brendon looked upward. “I don’t know.”
“What about Melinda? What about your grandparents? Your aunts, uncles, and cousins? What about Lindsey? What about Mark? What about Mr. Fisher? What about-” she stopped when she saw him shaking his head in disbelief. She pulled his arms away from her, and he didn’t realize he was still holding her.
“You seriously think nobody will care?” she asked, almost angrily. “Brendon, if I was alive, and I knew that you took your life for me, do you know how I’d feel?” She didn’t wait for his response. “I would feel so guilty, so responsible for you, I wouldn’t be able to take it! I do not want you to leave this Earth just because I did! I would not be resting in peace, I’d probably be rolling around in my grave!” Brendon winced at her last statement.
“I want you to live a great life! I want you to grow up, get married, have kids, grandkids, great-grandkids! I want you to turn 100 years old, gray-haired, and wrinkled! Just because I might not have that chance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take advantage of your chance! You’re healthy, smart, handsome…don’t give it all up just for me!”
Brendon bit his lip to hold back tears. “But-”
“But nothing!” she silenced him. “Please,” she went up to him and took his hands in hers. “as a favor to me, don’t kill yourself. Ever.”
He looked at her for a few long minutes. Finally, he nodded. “If it will make you happy.” he said.
Bailey said, “It would make me very happy.” Brendon pulled her into another hug, this time he didn’t release her for a very long time. She felt his silent tears wet the skin on her neck, but she didn’t care.
For the next few weeks, Bailey was going under constant procedures, painful treatment, and lots of medication. It was tough for Brendon to watch her suffer, but nevertheless, he was there at her bedside, and when the doctor’s orders called for it, he waited outside the door. As time progressed, she became weaker and the pain in her head was growing rapidly. After the second week of being in the hospital, Brendon knew that her time was near. He couldn’t deny the truth, that sooner or later, his true love would be taken away from him.
“Brendon, come on, let’s go home.” Ryan insisted. Brendon didn’t even look up at him, but stayed sitting by Bailey’s bedside with her hand curled up in his. She wasn’t asleep, but he eyes were closed and she was breathing slowly.
Ryan put a hand on Brendon’s shoulder and shook it softly. “Brendon, you’re a mess. You haven’t slept for days already, you need some shut eye.” The clock on the bedside table now read 10:45 PM.
Brendon shook his head. “No thanks, Ryan. You can go ahead.”
“Why not?” Bailey asked, opening her eyes.
“I can’t leave you like this.” Brendon said sadly. “What if it happens?” Bailey sighed and looked at Ryan hopelessly, so he tried to reason with him.
“Its not going to happen Brendon. The doctor said that Bailey still had time.” he pointed out.
“Yeah, one night isn’t going to hurt.” Bailey said. “You are tired Brendon, you need rest.”
“I’m not tired.” Brendon stated, hoping he didn’t look as worn out as he felt.
Bailey rolled her eyes. “I’m not falling for that one. You’ve been here almost since I was checked in, please go and sleep for a few hours.” Brendon looked reluctant, but Ryan egged him on.
“Just go and sleep for a few hours, the you can come back in the morning.” Ryan reasoned. Bailey nodded, agreeing with Ryan’s idea.
“I don’t-”
“Brendon, go. I promise I’ll still be here tomorrow.” Bailey ordered firmly. Brendon thought about it for a few minutes.
“Fine. But, I’ll be back first thing.” Bailey managed a weak smile, satisfied.
Brendon leaned down and kissed her softly, but sweetly. “I love you.” he whispered.
“I love you too.” she replied. He took another long, reluctant look at her before Ryan led him out of the room.
“Dude, it’s gonna be fine.” Ryan said, trying to cheer him up. “I know what you’re feeling. Bailey’s like my sister and I know she won’t give up that easily.”
“I’m still worried about her, though.” Brendon said.
Ryan nodded, “I know, I am too.” All through the night, Brendon tossed and turned in his bed. The image of Bailey lying helplessly in her bed was tattooed in his mind and he couldn’t get rid of it. It was around midnight when he got a painful feeling in the pit of his stomach. It would not go away and Brendon began to feel uneasy.
Early the next day, Brendon woke up and went back to the hospital. Everything was as he had left it, nothing had changed in the dreary environment. An extremely ominous feeling hung in the air, and it made Brendon’s skin crawl uncomfortably. As he walked by the front desk toward the hallway, a nurse stopped him.
“Excuse me, sir. Who are you here to see?” she asked.
“I’m here to see Bailey Walker.” Brendon replied. The nurse’s curious look suddenly turned grim.
“By any chance are you Mr. Brendon Urie?” she asked cautiously. He nodded, and she closed her eyes and began shaking her head.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…” she repeated over and over. Immediately, Brendon knew.
Then, he was running. He was running as fast as his legs would carry him, not bothering to take the elevator. Nurses and doctors alike rushed out of the rooms where they worked, all of them alarmed at the sight of the young man running. “Someone call security!” a voice shouted.
Soon, he heard the sound of huge footsteps and orders to stop behind him. He didn’t obey, but kept running until Bailey’s room was in view. He almost made it to the door when a police officer tackled him to the ground. “No! No! Let me go!” Brendon shouted, thrashing wildly against the many hands and arms that held him fast to the ground.
“Bailey! No!” he screamed, the tears running down his cheeks so fast he almost choked on them. A felt a pair of handcuffs being put onto his hands, and he jerked his legs, trying to get free, but it was useless. About ten security guards were holding him down, and there was no way to escape.
The floor below his head was soaked with his tears now. Everything was moving in slow motion, the truth fresh in his mind. “Please, I need to see her!” Brendon cried out desperately. Eventually, he stopped moving and lay sobbing on the floor with his hands handcuffed. “No, no, please…” he whimpered, then a kinder voice said, “Brendon Urie, come with me.”
The doctor that had treated Bailey helped him to a standing position. A nearby officer held a club, ready to strike if Brendon made a false move, but the doctor assured him, “He’s okay, just stunned, that’s all. Take the handcuffs off please.” The officer took them off and Brendon didn’t care about the pain in his wrists from where a loose piece of metal had dug into his skin. The doctor dismissed the security guards and they left, but the one with the club stayed, just in case.
“I’m terribly sorry son.” the doctor said. “We did the best we could.”
“What happened?” Brendon asked, his voice still shaky.
“The tumor was too big. She had a seizure around midnight, and it triggered a massive stroke.” the doctor informed. Brendon was in too much of a shock and too deep in pain that he almost didn’t hear when the doctor said, “She’s still in the room, you could see her if you’d like.”
Brendon raised his tear-stained face to meet the doctor’s eyes, whom were kind and sympathetic. He stood up and walked to the door. Waiting a minute with his hand on the doorknob, he opened it and went inside.
Surprisingly, Bailey didn’t look anywhere near the way Brendon had imagined it. She looks exactly that way she had looked like when Brendon was watching her sleep only 24 hours before. Except, her skin was ghastly pale and her skin was several degrees colder than it usually was. All of the tubes and needles that had been forced into her skin had been removed, it was juts her body laying lifeless and cold.
He took her hand in his and looked at it, then at her face. “Bailey?” she whispered, hoping to God that this was a joke. Just some cruel, sick joke. But no such luck. She didn’t answer, as Brendon knew she wouldn’t. Brendon’s sore eyes filled up with tears and he buried his face on the bed. He held onto her hand and cried, remembering all of the good times they had shared and wishing he could relive them.
The sound of Brendon’s cell phone ringing broke the semi-silence. He looked at the caller ID.
“Hello?” he answered.
‘Um, hey Brendon, it’s me Ryan. Are you with Bailey?”
A simple “uh-huh” escaped his quavering lips.
Ryan’s tone took an alarming turn. “Brendon, what’s wrong?”
Brendon took a deep breath. “She’s gone.”
~*~
That was one year ago. Now, one year later, Brendon walked through the lonely graveyard with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a guitar in the other. The continuous pattern of gravestones went on and on and Brendon didn’t even need to look around to find the one he was looking for, for he knew the way well.
He stopped in front of a gray-marble gravestone. Carved in the surface was the following:
Here lies Bailey Natalia Walker
A gift that God had placed on this Earth
On April 9th, 1986.
Bailey went to be with the Lord on January 17th , 2008
A great friend, loving daughter, beautiful girlfriend
Rest In Peace
Brendon stooped down and kissed the smooth stone. He set the bouquet of red roses next to a portrait of Bailey, which was in a silver frame at the base of the gravestone. He sat cross-legged in front of the grave and positioned the guitar in front of him.
“I wrote something for you.” he said softly. “I hope you like it.” He strummed the guitar and smiled at the portrait of her standing before him.
Looking at a picture of you in my hands
Wondering if I'm ever gonna see you again
He looked upward as he kept singing.
Without you I don't know how my life will be
But I believe
It's not goodbye
Cause I will remember you
And I will see you again
When I rise
Cause I know and I believe
I will see you in eternity
Just then, Ryan came up and places his hand on Brendon’s shoulder. Brendon jerked slightly in surprise, but kept singing. Ryan smiled as he listened to the lyrics escaping Brendon’s mouth. Eventually, he joined in, repeating the lyrics Brendon had been writing all week.
So close yet so far
But in my heart you're here with me
You did not leave
You just went to live in eternity
Jon, with his hands in his pockets, appeared behind Ryan. He stayed perfectly still, watching the breeze rustle the bouquet of roses and the hair on their heads. He looked at Bailey’s grave and re-read the words engraved upon it. Of everybody, it was Brendon and he who had suffered more from Bailey’s death. He felt that he should have died, since he was older than her, but it didn’t turn out the way he had thought. Jon and Bailey were the Walker siblings, the troublesome duo, as they had been called by former babysitters. They had been sidekicks since the day Bailey was born. Nothing could tear them apart, and when Bailey decided that she wanted to date Brendon, Jon’s best friend, he couldn’t have been happier for them. He took a deep breath and joined Ryan and Brendon in the next verse.
You will live in the light of the sun again
Dancing in the river of life and
Knowing that'll never end and forever by my side
I'll never have to say goodbye
Spencer came and stood alongside Jon. He had always had a soft spot for Bailey, for she was always the first one to come and comfort him when something went wrong in his life. She was his shoulder to cry on when his parents divorced; she acted as his personal nurse (she had dreamed of being a doctor one day) when he was sick in bed; and she never let him get mixed up with the wrong crowd (he tended to be a magnet for drug offering whores). Spencer was Bailey’s ‘little boy’ and he would always be.
Cause I will remember you
And I will see you again
When I rise
Cause I know and I believe
I will see you in eternity
All four guys stood alongside each other, singing along to Brendon’s song, and even though they didn’t know it, Bailey was looking down at them that very second.
One-Shot Fanfic
“Brendon?” she said cautiously. The way he said his name, and the look on her face confirmed his worst fear.
“No. No! Please, don’t tell me its back!” he begged, placing both hands on her shoulders, praying that she would say no. She let a tear fall from her eyes and nodded. Brendon looked at her wide-eyed and began crying as he wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let go. She rubbed his back as he cried into her shoulder and let the stream of salty tears washed down her own face as well.
According to the doctors, the tumor was back and it was here to stay. Bailey had been battling it for about two years, and a few months ago it had supposedly disappeared. However, the doctor had discovered its return during a visit to the hospital after Bailey had had a major headache.
“No! It can’t be true!” Brendon sobbed. He looked at her with his now bloodshot eyes. “I can’t lose you Bailey! I don’t want you to die!”
“Brendon, shh, shh baby, its okay.” Bailey said softly, trying to sooth him. “Its okay, I know it sucks, but we both knew it was going to happen sooner or later.”
“But why now? Now when I need you the most!” he asked, sounding as though he were talking to God more than to her. “I can’t lose you Bailey. I’ll die if you go!”
That response shocked her more than the news of her sickness. “No! Brendon, please! Promise me you will not do anything crazy, please!” Her voice was frantic.
“I’m not going to have any reason to live if your not here.” Brendon replied, firmly but quietly.
Bailey shook her head. “Brendon, baby. You may not realize this, but you are such part of a lot of people’s lives. If you left, you would be causing a lot of people pain.”
“I highly doubt a lot of people would miss me.”
Bailey sighed. “What about your mom and dad?”
Brendon shook his head. “This don’t care. If they did, they wouldn’t be fighting all the time.”
“What about Spencer? And Jon? And Ryan?”
Brendon looked upward. “I don’t know.”
“What about Melinda? What about your grandparents? Your aunts, uncles, and cousins? What about Lindsey? What about Mark? What about Mr. Fisher? What about-” she stopped when she saw him shaking his head in disbelief. She pulled his arms away from her, and he didn’t realize he was still holding her.
“You seriously think nobody will care?” she asked, almost angrily. “Brendon, if I was alive, and I knew that you took your life for me, do you know how I’d feel?” She didn’t wait for his response. “I would feel so guilty, so responsible for you, I wouldn’t be able to take it! I do not want you to leave this Earth just because I did! I would not be resting in peace, I’d probably be rolling around in my grave!” Brendon winced at her last statement.
“I want you to live a great life! I want you to grow up, get married, have kids, grandkids, great-grandkids! I want you to turn 100 years old, gray-haired, and wrinkled! Just because I might not have that chance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take advantage of your chance! You’re healthy, smart, handsome…don’t give it all up just for me!”
Brendon bit his lip to hold back tears. “But-”
“But nothing!” she silenced him. “Please,” she went up to him and took his hands in hers. “as a favor to me, don’t kill yourself. Ever.”
He looked at her for a few long minutes. Finally, he nodded. “If it will make you happy.” he said.
Bailey said, “It would make me very happy.” Brendon pulled her into another hug, this time he didn’t release her for a very long time. She felt his silent tears wet the skin on her neck, but she didn’t care.
For the next few weeks, Bailey was going under constant procedures, painful treatment, and lots of medication. It was tough for Brendon to watch her suffer, but nevertheless, he was there at her bedside, and when the doctor’s orders called for it, he waited outside the door. As time progressed, she became weaker and the pain in her head was growing rapidly. After the second week of being in the hospital, Brendon knew that her time was near. He couldn’t deny the truth, that sooner or later, his true love would be taken away from him.
“Brendon, come on, let’s go home.” Ryan insisted. Brendon didn’t even look up at him, but stayed sitting by Bailey’s bedside with her hand curled up in his. She wasn’t asleep, but he eyes were closed and she was breathing slowly.
Ryan put a hand on Brendon’s shoulder and shook it softly. “Brendon, you’re a mess. You haven’t slept for days already, you need some shut eye.” The clock on the bedside table now read 10:45 PM.
Brendon shook his head. “No thanks, Ryan. You can go ahead.”
“Why not?” Bailey asked, opening her eyes.
“I can’t leave you like this.” Brendon said sadly. “What if it happens?” Bailey sighed and looked at Ryan hopelessly, so he tried to reason with him.
“Its not going to happen Brendon. The doctor said that Bailey still had time.” he pointed out.
“Yeah, one night isn’t going to hurt.” Bailey said. “You are tired Brendon, you need rest.”
“I’m not tired.” Brendon stated, hoping he didn’t look as worn out as he felt.
Bailey rolled her eyes. “I’m not falling for that one. You’ve been here almost since I was checked in, please go and sleep for a few hours.” Brendon looked reluctant, but Ryan egged him on.
“Just go and sleep for a few hours, the you can come back in the morning.” Ryan reasoned. Bailey nodded, agreeing with Ryan’s idea.
“I don’t-”
“Brendon, go. I promise I’ll still be here tomorrow.” Bailey ordered firmly. Brendon thought about it for a few minutes.
“Fine. But, I’ll be back first thing.” Bailey managed a weak smile, satisfied.
Brendon leaned down and kissed her softly, but sweetly. “I love you.” he whispered.
“I love you too.” she replied. He took another long, reluctant look at her before Ryan led him out of the room.
“Dude, it’s gonna be fine.” Ryan said, trying to cheer him up. “I know what you’re feeling. Bailey’s like my sister and I know she won’t give up that easily.”
“I’m still worried about her, though.” Brendon said.
Ryan nodded, “I know, I am too.” All through the night, Brendon tossed and turned in his bed. The image of Bailey lying helplessly in her bed was tattooed in his mind and he couldn’t get rid of it. It was around midnight when he got a painful feeling in the pit of his stomach. It would not go away and Brendon began to feel uneasy.
Early the next day, Brendon woke up and went back to the hospital. Everything was as he had left it, nothing had changed in the dreary environment. An extremely ominous feeling hung in the air, and it made Brendon’s skin crawl uncomfortably. As he walked by the front desk toward the hallway, a nurse stopped him.
“Excuse me, sir. Who are you here to see?” she asked.
“I’m here to see Bailey Walker.” Brendon replied. The nurse’s curious look suddenly turned grim.
“By any chance are you Mr. Brendon Urie?” she asked cautiously. He nodded, and she closed her eyes and began shaking her head.
“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…” she repeated over and over. Immediately, Brendon knew.
Then, he was running. He was running as fast as his legs would carry him, not bothering to take the elevator. Nurses and doctors alike rushed out of the rooms where they worked, all of them alarmed at the sight of the young man running. “Someone call security!” a voice shouted.
Soon, he heard the sound of huge footsteps and orders to stop behind him. He didn’t obey, but kept running until Bailey’s room was in view. He almost made it to the door when a police officer tackled him to the ground. “No! No! Let me go!” Brendon shouted, thrashing wildly against the many hands and arms that held him fast to the ground.
“Bailey! No!” he screamed, the tears running down his cheeks so fast he almost choked on them. A felt a pair of handcuffs being put onto his hands, and he jerked his legs, trying to get free, but it was useless. About ten security guards were holding him down, and there was no way to escape.
The floor below his head was soaked with his tears now. Everything was moving in slow motion, the truth fresh in his mind. “Please, I need to see her!” Brendon cried out desperately. Eventually, he stopped moving and lay sobbing on the floor with his hands handcuffed. “No, no, please…” he whimpered, then a kinder voice said, “Brendon Urie, come with me.”
The doctor that had treated Bailey helped him to a standing position. A nearby officer held a club, ready to strike if Brendon made a false move, but the doctor assured him, “He’s okay, just stunned, that’s all. Take the handcuffs off please.” The officer took them off and Brendon didn’t care about the pain in his wrists from where a loose piece of metal had dug into his skin. The doctor dismissed the security guards and they left, but the one with the club stayed, just in case.
“I’m terribly sorry son.” the doctor said. “We did the best we could.”
“What happened?” Brendon asked, his voice still shaky.
“The tumor was too big. She had a seizure around midnight, and it triggered a massive stroke.” the doctor informed. Brendon was in too much of a shock and too deep in pain that he almost didn’t hear when the doctor said, “She’s still in the room, you could see her if you’d like.”
Brendon raised his tear-stained face to meet the doctor’s eyes, whom were kind and sympathetic. He stood up and walked to the door. Waiting a minute with his hand on the doorknob, he opened it and went inside.
Surprisingly, Bailey didn’t look anywhere near the way Brendon had imagined it. She looks exactly that way she had looked like when Brendon was watching her sleep only 24 hours before. Except, her skin was ghastly pale and her skin was several degrees colder than it usually was. All of the tubes and needles that had been forced into her skin had been removed, it was juts her body laying lifeless and cold.
He took her hand in his and looked at it, then at her face. “Bailey?” she whispered, hoping to God that this was a joke. Just some cruel, sick joke. But no such luck. She didn’t answer, as Brendon knew she wouldn’t. Brendon’s sore eyes filled up with tears and he buried his face on the bed. He held onto her hand and cried, remembering all of the good times they had shared and wishing he could relive them.
The sound of Brendon’s cell phone ringing broke the semi-silence. He looked at the caller ID.
“Hello?” he answered.
‘Um, hey Brendon, it’s me Ryan. Are you with Bailey?”
A simple “uh-huh” escaped his quavering lips.
Ryan’s tone took an alarming turn. “Brendon, what’s wrong?”
Brendon took a deep breath. “She’s gone.”
~*~
That was one year ago. Now, one year later, Brendon walked through the lonely graveyard with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a guitar in the other. The continuous pattern of gravestones went on and on and Brendon didn’t even need to look around to find the one he was looking for, for he knew the way well.
He stopped in front of a gray-marble gravestone. Carved in the surface was the following:
Here lies Bailey Natalia Walker
A gift that God had placed on this Earth
On April 9th, 1986.
Bailey went to be with the Lord on January 17th , 2008
A great friend, loving daughter, beautiful girlfriend
Rest In Peace
Brendon stooped down and kissed the smooth stone. He set the bouquet of red roses next to a portrait of Bailey, which was in a silver frame at the base of the gravestone. He sat cross-legged in front of the grave and positioned the guitar in front of him.
“I wrote something for you.” he said softly. “I hope you like it.” He strummed the guitar and smiled at the portrait of her standing before him.
Looking at a picture of you in my hands
Wondering if I'm ever gonna see you again
He looked upward as he kept singing.
Without you I don't know how my life will be
But I believe
It's not goodbye
Cause I will remember you
And I will see you again
When I rise
Cause I know and I believe
I will see you in eternity
Just then, Ryan came up and places his hand on Brendon’s shoulder. Brendon jerked slightly in surprise, but kept singing. Ryan smiled as he listened to the lyrics escaping Brendon’s mouth. Eventually, he joined in, repeating the lyrics Brendon had been writing all week.
So close yet so far
But in my heart you're here with me
You did not leave
You just went to live in eternity
Jon, with his hands in his pockets, appeared behind Ryan. He stayed perfectly still, watching the breeze rustle the bouquet of roses and the hair on their heads. He looked at Bailey’s grave and re-read the words engraved upon it. Of everybody, it was Brendon and he who had suffered more from Bailey’s death. He felt that he should have died, since he was older than her, but it didn’t turn out the way he had thought. Jon and Bailey were the Walker siblings, the troublesome duo, as they had been called by former babysitters. They had been sidekicks since the day Bailey was born. Nothing could tear them apart, and when Bailey decided that she wanted to date Brendon, Jon’s best friend, he couldn’t have been happier for them. He took a deep breath and joined Ryan and Brendon in the next verse.
You will live in the light of the sun again
Dancing in the river of life and
Knowing that'll never end and forever by my side
I'll never have to say goodbye
Spencer came and stood alongside Jon. He had always had a soft spot for Bailey, for she was always the first one to come and comfort him when something went wrong in his life. She was his shoulder to cry on when his parents divorced; she acted as his personal nurse (she had dreamed of being a doctor one day) when he was sick in bed; and she never let him get mixed up with the wrong crowd (he tended to be a magnet for drug offering whores). Spencer was Bailey’s ‘little boy’ and he would always be.
Cause I will remember you
And I will see you again
When I rise
Cause I know and I believe
I will see you in eternity
All four guys stood alongside each other, singing along to Brendon’s song, and even though they didn’t know it, Bailey was looking down at them that very second.
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