FicWad

Chapter 6: An Idiot + Lots of Power...

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: What, I was lip-syncing! How could I have copied two GUY'S voice so easily while playing a guitar? I was also turning the Eight Idiots into pigs!!!

The music teacher fainted. She lay on the floor, limp.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Should I wake her? It is in my power, as the writer, to somehow force the teacher awake again.

Twilight shook her head. "Nah, it's more fun without a teacher to push us around."

DarkFire nodded in agreement. "But the problem is that the principal might be patrolling the corridors and hall..."

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Okay, I will follow DarkFire's advice... Starts typing on her floating computer

The teacher waked up, and looked around. "What happened?"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: I made you come back from being unconscious. You're lucky I am a friendly writer, or else I would have left you there.

The teacher fainted again.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Okay, I will retype that... Okay... Here's what I am typing... The teacher woke up, and did not ask ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ any questions this time... She led all of the students out of the hall, to what appeared to be a music classroom.

The teacher woke up, and did not ask ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ any questions this time... She led all of the students out of the hall, to what appeared to be a music classroom, just as ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ typed up.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Good, Take 2 came out nicely...

The teacher walked to the classroom, leaving all of the Idiot Pigs in the school hall, all stacked on top of each other, squealing. She even ignored LightClaw, who was now squealing so loud that it is a miracle ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ wasn't mentally dead.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: They're called noise cancellation headphones. Oh wait... do I even have any noise cancellation headphones? Oh well... I do now!!!*

*In my imagination. But that means I cannot hear it!!!!

Twilight, DarkFire, Min and Myrtle all blocked their ears. Their ears were all bleeding, blood pouring into the concrete.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Gee, I think they should have noise cancellation headphones, too. But I am too poor to get them any... oh well; I can 'write' their ears back in after if they fall off. If a character dies, I can 'write' them back to life...

Twilight, DarkFire, Min and Myrtle's ears fell off, onto the pavement.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: I'll reattach them later, when we reach the music classroom maybe...

Twilight shrugged her shoulders. DarkFire, Min and Myrtle all shouted at ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ "WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Oh wait, their ears fell off. They could not hear me. Oh well, Twilight could read my mind, as long one of the characters here aren't clueless. Gee, I am pretty good with my character designs.

Twilight, DarkFire, Min and Myrtle's ears, along with those of the music teacher fell off. They were bleeding on the pavement.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Oh wait, that already happened... Ignore that... Ignores error and continues writing

The group arrived at the music classroom. It was a large square room. There were guitars mounted on the walls with strange little green hooks. On the opposite side, in one of the corners was a black piano. On the same side, there was a small desk for the teacher. There were also rows of desks facing the teacher's desk. The carpet was... whatever colour you want it to be. There were five ceiling fans - which was simply over the top.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: I am too lazy... Let's say the classroom has air conditioning that is not functioning which is invisible. I am too lazy to describe the location of it... Yawns

There were students seated in the whole of the room but the back row, comprised of 5 seats.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Twilight, DarkFire, Min, Myrtle, sit down at the back row. I command you to sit!!!

Twilight, DarkFire, Min and Myrtle sat down at the back row. ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ stood on the last table in the row, with her hovering desktop computer. She hit her head on a ceiling fan.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Oww... DIE, STUPID CEILING FAN!!! Starts shooting fan with a machine gun that mysteriously appeared in her hand

Bullets flew everywhere, and the fan fell, smoking, on Min's head. "~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~, why did you do that?"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Okay, I think I will restrain her from attacking me... Starts typing the following words on computer: 'Min freezes, and forgets what happened..

Min froze, and forgot what happened, just how ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ wanted it to be like. All of the others in the classroom ignored ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ shooting the fan, despite the fact weapons aren't supposed to be brought into any school of any sort anywhere, unless it was a shooting school of something.

The teacher cleared her throat. "As you all know, I am an exchange teacher from Germany, and you all have your solo performances today."

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Oh no... Oh wait, that does not include me! Gee, I HATE it when I have to do solo performances...

Twilight groaned. "But you're not doing a solo performance!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Some of them are also boring to observe!!!

Twilight paused for a second. "Good point. Okay, this means... I HATE SOLO PERFOMANCES TOO!!!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Gee, Twilight, don't say the obvious!!! jumps on another student's desk, and hits head on second ceiling fan DIE, YOU STUPID CURSED CEILING FAN!!! Starts shooting ceiling fan with rocket launcher that appeared in hand mysteriously for no apparently no reason

The ceiling fan dropped, and landed on the head of ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~. For no reason, the room blew up. Then, it was clear why - ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ was holding onto the trigger on the rocket launcher. Rubble was everywhere, but for some strange reason, the desks, chairs, the students, the teacher, and ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ was unaltered, and were all in the same position, everything hovering.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: I did nuthin'... looks around where the room was innocently

The teacher started speaking. "You'll have to pay for this!!! That's a several thousand bill for you!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: No problem, I'll have it magically repaired with my special skill. Oh wait... that piano and all of the musical instruments are gone. I guess I'll magically repair them, too.

The teacher stared at ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~, confused. "Are you sure? Does anyone have a pair of sarcasm-filtering glasses?"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Nope, I wasn't being sarcastic.

The teacher backed off. "DON'T KILL ME!!!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Stupid teacher... WHO'S UP FOR THE FIRST SOLO PERFORMANCE?

All of the students smiled, and said, as one - "We can't - all of the instruments are broken, and no-one can sing, as the CD player is also broken!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Points at hovering desktop computer We can use this CD player, then! Types a heap of text on computer There, we have speakers.

A set of 7.1 Surround Sound speakers surrounded the desks. "Well, people who are singing can sing now, okay? Looks at watch Gee, I can even repair all instruments if I wasn't so lazy.

Half of the class groaned.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Now, whose up first?

The room fell silent. No-one did anything, but sit/breathe/the like.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Okay, let's look for someone unwilling to do it and chose that guy/gal...

All of a sudden, all of the vocalists shouted: "I wanna go first!"

Twilight laughed. "These guys and girls are really desperate to not do this task. I don't really think that attempt will be successful... Okay, ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ just told me telepathically that I am to choose someone. Alright, you, over there" said Twilight, pointing at short, weedy boy in the corner of the former-classroom, "Alright, you're going to start us off with the performances."

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Twilight, don't think you're lucky, you still have to do the performance, but I don't... oh wait that would make no sense - Twilight is like... me - I control her, and... yeah, I'm controlling my own body along with Twilight's... I AM SO [CENSOR]ING CONFUSED!!! Oh wait... I think I understand... Yes, I do, Yup, I understand.

"What the?"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Ignore that. Twilight, you're excused from the solo performance.

"YAY!!!" Twilight was grinning "SUCKED IN, CLASS 7B!!!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Gee, you're in Class 7B, too, Twilight.

Twilight shrugged her shoulders. "~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~, STOP BREAKING THE [CENSOR]ING FOURTH WALL!!!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: No response

Twilight groaned. "It means that, too... If I see you type ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ followed with a colon somewhere, that means you're breaking the fourth wall... good."

The small, weedy boy walked up to the hovering desktop computer. 'Um... I will not be using any accompaniment."

The teacher recovered from shock. "Okay, what will you be singing?"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Thank you, I can listen to some music on my Mp3 Player. And before you stop me listening, I will vanish you if you stop me. I know it's against the school rules, but I don't care. They allow that in the art department. Speaking of art, it's our next lesson!

The boy ignored ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~. "Um... I don't know... I think I will sing... um..."

The whole class burst out laughing. The boy started singing gibberish. The class was to the stage which they felt like they were laughing their heads off.

The teacher looked really p1$$3d off. "Okay, Albert, you're not doing anything musical. You're only saying a heap of gibberish. Okay, you'll receive a mark of zero."

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Using good sensitive hearing skills Actually, he is singing gibberish to the tune of a nursery rhyme, but apart from that, well, it's nothing musical. I swear, this school is seriously out of whack. In other words, it's now really stupid in some aspects-

The teacher started speaking again. "Okay, Albert, shut up!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: I WASN'T FINISHED! SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!

The teacher halted. "Okay..."

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: I SAID SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!! Okay, Ms. Cullen, you must not be so mean to students. I know he was being a heap of cr@p, but you can say it in a nicer way.

Ms. Cullen fell silent for a second. She spoke, with a trembling voice. "Um... Albert, you could have done a better job of preparation for your solo performance."

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Better. Now, who's next?

All of the class exploded, with people screaming, and saying: "YES, I WANNA BE NEXT!", still thinking ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ would not choose those who were overenthusiastic.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Wouldn't it be more fun if...

Twilight, DarkFire, Min and Myrtle all groaned. "Oh no, ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~ isn't changing one of her metaphoric expressions into a literal event, isn't she..." added Twilight.

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: What did you say? Did you say you wanted to be exploded into a million pieces?

The rest of the class did not hear, and were still screaming, "YES, PICK ME!!!"

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Okay! types a little text on hovering computer

The whole class, except for ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~, Twilight, DarkFire, Min and Myrtle exploded with a loud blast that was heard a kilometre away. ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~, wearing noise cancellation headphones, barely heard a thing. Everything was painted red. Blood and gore lay everywhere. There were skeletons, with torn flesh everywhere. The stench of blood reeked the air. Red masses of stuff, torn ligaments, cracked skulls, calf muscles, triceps, biceps, quadriceps, eyeballs, intestines, stomachs (Along with the contents of them), ribcages and lungs...

Myrtle growled. "GET ON WITH THE STORY!"

...lay on the desks, and the now-scarlet dirt. The teacher was lost for words.

The world remained still for what seemed like an hour. The teacher screamed at ~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~. "WHAT THE [CENSOR] DID YOU DO, YOU [CENSOR]ING [CENSOR]!!! YOU KILLED THE STUDENTS!!! YOU [CENSOR]!!! I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU, [CENSOR]ING [CENSOR] TO THE F.B.I.!!! YOU WILL BE [CENSOR]ING EXECUTED AFTER THIS, [CENSOR]!!!

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Smiling WHAT? I AM WEARING NOISE CANCELATION HEADPHONES!!! Nah, I have turned the noise cancelation feature off. They asked for it! I asked 'Do you want to be exploded?', and they all enthusiastically replied 'YES!!!'

~.:The Dragon of Twilight:.~: Turns away, smiling in a grim way How Stupid Can People Be? This is how stupid. Welcome to the REAL story. What you read before Chapter 5 was just the entr