Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Wearing Drugs On Your Skin
Like a Name in the Obituaries
0 reviewsFrank awaits Gerard at the airport, could this all go wrong?
1Moving
Frank's P.O.V.
My hands shook anxiously as I fumbled clumsily with the black bracelet that lie coiled tightly around my wrist, and for the first time in the years I had been wearing it, it seemed like it was trying to cut off my circulation to inflict any kind of unnatural pain and disturbances to my body, as if to get me back. Gerard gave me the bracelet years ago, I guess most would say that it's nothing much, but well, to me it's sort of beautiful, or was... I used to be able to fidget with it when I was nervous, allowing it to flood me with memories of the one man who has ever boosted my confidence this much and then I would be able to face the situation even stronger than I had before. I wish I could say it did the same in this case, but in this scenario it only made me feel fifty times more self conscious and it sunk me lower to the ground.
I had been seriously contemplating on even showing up here in the first place, almost wanting to see what the consequences for my actions might be. It's not like he could hurt me anymore than I already have been, besides, as I've said before I could never see Gerard hurting me physically in anyway, he just wasn't for that, rather he knew my past or not. Hurting me mentally and beating me up verbally on the other hand... you could consider him abusive in the way. It's like he never really did hesitate to sling a wad of spiteful words at my face, and sometimes I swear insult he tells me is one that he really means and has just been hiding for years.
Actually, to be frank, I'd much rather he end up being physically abusive, years ago when I was held under knives, guns, and bloody clenched fists, I wished for anything less than the situation I was in, even if it were only less by a degree. Back then I would have given anything and everything to live a life where simple words stained the flesh where the blood used to soak and collect. Alas, now that I finally have it, I'd rather be lying out there on the pavement in the park, waiting for them to find and kill me.
Even better than waiting on them to kill me though, waiting on him to slice my disfigured skin over and dissect and disembowel me, leaving me a bloody pulp on the side of the road for vultures to pick through. I'm sure not even they could care to remove a single piece of me for their keeping, my flesh and blood is tainted, poisoned, even the buzzards know that... I just wish he would do anything to hurt me, even the smallest most painless gesture, anything that would make it a lot easier to find a reason to hate him, besides the one that I already have.
Anything to escape this current situation in which I haven't a clue of what's to come trailing through that unoccupied doorway.
No one even bothered telling me a thing, no one said what would be walking through gate 12, all though I'm almost positive I can answer that question myself. Jamia wouldn't even tell me when she got off the phone from Lyn Z, she just smiled and wrapped me in a hug and gave me the same directions as did Gerard, to pack my bags and wait at the airport. At least from her reaction I know Gerard really did keep his word, he wasn't an asshole, he didn't tell her anything to try and destroy what's left of my life. I guess I at least owe and thank him for that much. I wish I could say the same for everything else, but I don't know if that will ever be the case, now...
I sound like a hypocrite, a selfish, inconsiderate hypocrite who thinks only of his on pain as if I'm the only one who might have obtained scars and pains from that fight and as if he was the one who caused the whole situation that caused the fight. Gerard didn't walk up to me and plant himself on the ground beside me. Gerard didn't start the whole getting carried away that led to being caught by Mikey. Gerard wasn't the one who threw the hardest punch about Lyn Z, what I clearly knew was a sensitive subject... Now that I look at it, Gerard did nothing wrong, I'm the one that is at fault...The only thing I can even imagine that Gerard fucked up with that leads to this situation, is Gerard calling me all those years ago about two months after the 9/11 tragedy asking the question what at the time didn't seem like it would effect my life to terribly. Oh, was I ever wrong...
If I had known what I know now, I would have denied instantly and stayed with Pencey Prep, although it never brought to be the surge of electricity when my fingers pressed to the frets of a guitar, like it has done with My Chem. If I had known I would have never been apart of this beautiful masterpiece that behind it's mask a twisted and fucked up case... I would have never been swallowed by the consuming and addictive substance that is Gerard. I didn't know at the time that being so attached could bring all the trauma that it has, but I should have assumed, like almost every addiction, this one is unhealthy, this one makes me sick and wears me thin, this one will eventually kill me, however soon that may be.
Gerard Way will become a murder rather it be today, next week, or a in a few years, but he will be the cause of another body disintegrating into the soil. He will get into the head of and bring suffering and pain to another man he found simply to fill my place when I am gone, or maybe he will just turn to his beloved wife like he should have done in the beginning. Maybe he will let me evaporate into the air particles like a stale memory that a child refuses to recall. Frank Iero will have never existed to him, the name won't have a familiar sting when it vibrates in his ear drum, it won't engorge his thoughts in a array of useless and cheap memories, it will be nothing more than a blob of ink occupying space in the obituaries, just like every other name we pass up everyday of our lives, not giving a care because they had nothing to do with us.
How wrong of an assumption.
You haven't a clue if that name is the name that was finely placed on a child that moved away from your school because a teacher was finding out about them being abused. You don't know if they was one of the faces in high school that you completely overlooked and disregarded as if there was nothing but stiff air where they lie slumped against the lockers in pain. You don't know how many times their fragile body might haves swept into your view with a weak smile on their face as you passed them in stores, choosing instantly to forget that smile, like it were nothing, just like your elders taught you too. For all you know they were the ones that stopped to ask for directions, and in doing so delayed you a perfect two seconds from being reduced to a mangled corpse on the street, another victim of the car wreck that happened where you were once standing.
I'm going to become one of those people to Gerard, one of the ones you don't even consider for more than a second. I'll be one of those names with a dull and hollow ring, no meaning accumulating in the words as they drip from a person's lips. He will stand over me as I lie stretched on the gurney, not a single wince of remembrance dousing his face as he stares careless down at my stinking corpse.
Gerard Arthur Way will kill me
and that, is a promise.
|________________________Authors Note___________________________|
Okaaaay so I didn't like this chapter that much, but oh well shrug
Wasn't too eventful, but maybe you should keep Frank's thoughts in mind... heh.
Doesn't mean anything will happen though... although it might.
I'm evil xD
I kind of wonder though if these chapters annoy people?
You know, the chapters that are just a persons thoughts?
I mean, you do this in real life everyday, but sometimes people find it annoying to read...
I hope not :\
Anyway, Reviews letting me know what you would think would be oh-so lovely. [:
This is for everyone who Reviews and Favorites this story, I swear, you guys are all 43573645734657436547x more amazing than me, you all deserve... er, candy corn, brownies, skittles, starburst, chocolate bunnies and...uhmmmm marshmallows?
[:
Enough with the cheese, one can only take so much of that shit xD
=Shaun
My hands shook anxiously as I fumbled clumsily with the black bracelet that lie coiled tightly around my wrist, and for the first time in the years I had been wearing it, it seemed like it was trying to cut off my circulation to inflict any kind of unnatural pain and disturbances to my body, as if to get me back. Gerard gave me the bracelet years ago, I guess most would say that it's nothing much, but well, to me it's sort of beautiful, or was... I used to be able to fidget with it when I was nervous, allowing it to flood me with memories of the one man who has ever boosted my confidence this much and then I would be able to face the situation even stronger than I had before. I wish I could say it did the same in this case, but in this scenario it only made me feel fifty times more self conscious and it sunk me lower to the ground.
I had been seriously contemplating on even showing up here in the first place, almost wanting to see what the consequences for my actions might be. It's not like he could hurt me anymore than I already have been, besides, as I've said before I could never see Gerard hurting me physically in anyway, he just wasn't for that, rather he knew my past or not. Hurting me mentally and beating me up verbally on the other hand... you could consider him abusive in the way. It's like he never really did hesitate to sling a wad of spiteful words at my face, and sometimes I swear insult he tells me is one that he really means and has just been hiding for years.
Actually, to be frank, I'd much rather he end up being physically abusive, years ago when I was held under knives, guns, and bloody clenched fists, I wished for anything less than the situation I was in, even if it were only less by a degree. Back then I would have given anything and everything to live a life where simple words stained the flesh where the blood used to soak and collect. Alas, now that I finally have it, I'd rather be lying out there on the pavement in the park, waiting for them to find and kill me.
Even better than waiting on them to kill me though, waiting on him to slice my disfigured skin over and dissect and disembowel me, leaving me a bloody pulp on the side of the road for vultures to pick through. I'm sure not even they could care to remove a single piece of me for their keeping, my flesh and blood is tainted, poisoned, even the buzzards know that... I just wish he would do anything to hurt me, even the smallest most painless gesture, anything that would make it a lot easier to find a reason to hate him, besides the one that I already have.
Anything to escape this current situation in which I haven't a clue of what's to come trailing through that unoccupied doorway.
No one even bothered telling me a thing, no one said what would be walking through gate 12, all though I'm almost positive I can answer that question myself. Jamia wouldn't even tell me when she got off the phone from Lyn Z, she just smiled and wrapped me in a hug and gave me the same directions as did Gerard, to pack my bags and wait at the airport. At least from her reaction I know Gerard really did keep his word, he wasn't an asshole, he didn't tell her anything to try and destroy what's left of my life. I guess I at least owe and thank him for that much. I wish I could say the same for everything else, but I don't know if that will ever be the case, now...
I sound like a hypocrite, a selfish, inconsiderate hypocrite who thinks only of his on pain as if I'm the only one who might have obtained scars and pains from that fight and as if he was the one who caused the whole situation that caused the fight. Gerard didn't walk up to me and plant himself on the ground beside me. Gerard didn't start the whole getting carried away that led to being caught by Mikey. Gerard wasn't the one who threw the hardest punch about Lyn Z, what I clearly knew was a sensitive subject... Now that I look at it, Gerard did nothing wrong, I'm the one that is at fault...The only thing I can even imagine that Gerard fucked up with that leads to this situation, is Gerard calling me all those years ago about two months after the 9/11 tragedy asking the question what at the time didn't seem like it would effect my life to terribly. Oh, was I ever wrong...
If I had known what I know now, I would have denied instantly and stayed with Pencey Prep, although it never brought to be the surge of electricity when my fingers pressed to the frets of a guitar, like it has done with My Chem. If I had known I would have never been apart of this beautiful masterpiece that behind it's mask a twisted and fucked up case... I would have never been swallowed by the consuming and addictive substance that is Gerard. I didn't know at the time that being so attached could bring all the trauma that it has, but I should have assumed, like almost every addiction, this one is unhealthy, this one makes me sick and wears me thin, this one will eventually kill me, however soon that may be.
Gerard Way will become a murder rather it be today, next week, or a in a few years, but he will be the cause of another body disintegrating into the soil. He will get into the head of and bring suffering and pain to another man he found simply to fill my place when I am gone, or maybe he will just turn to his beloved wife like he should have done in the beginning. Maybe he will let me evaporate into the air particles like a stale memory that a child refuses to recall. Frank Iero will have never existed to him, the name won't have a familiar sting when it vibrates in his ear drum, it won't engorge his thoughts in a array of useless and cheap memories, it will be nothing more than a blob of ink occupying space in the obituaries, just like every other name we pass up everyday of our lives, not giving a care because they had nothing to do with us.
How wrong of an assumption.
You haven't a clue if that name is the name that was finely placed on a child that moved away from your school because a teacher was finding out about them being abused. You don't know if they was one of the faces in high school that you completely overlooked and disregarded as if there was nothing but stiff air where they lie slumped against the lockers in pain. You don't know how many times their fragile body might haves swept into your view with a weak smile on their face as you passed them in stores, choosing instantly to forget that smile, like it were nothing, just like your elders taught you too. For all you know they were the ones that stopped to ask for directions, and in doing so delayed you a perfect two seconds from being reduced to a mangled corpse on the street, another victim of the car wreck that happened where you were once standing.
I'm going to become one of those people to Gerard, one of the ones you don't even consider for more than a second. I'll be one of those names with a dull and hollow ring, no meaning accumulating in the words as they drip from a person's lips. He will stand over me as I lie stretched on the gurney, not a single wince of remembrance dousing his face as he stares careless down at my stinking corpse.
Gerard Arthur Way will kill me
and that, is a promise.
|________________________Authors Note___________________________|
Okaaaay so I didn't like this chapter that much, but oh well shrug
Wasn't too eventful, but maybe you should keep Frank's thoughts in mind... heh.
Doesn't mean anything will happen though... although it might.
I'm evil xD
I kind of wonder though if these chapters annoy people?
You know, the chapters that are just a persons thoughts?
I mean, you do this in real life everyday, but sometimes people find it annoying to read...
I hope not :\
Anyway, Reviews letting me know what you would think would be oh-so lovely. [:
This is for everyone who Reviews and Favorites this story, I swear, you guys are all 43573645734657436547x more amazing than me, you all deserve... er, candy corn, brownies, skittles, starburst, chocolate bunnies and...uhmmmm marshmallows?
[:
Enough with the cheese, one can only take so much of that shit xD
=Shaun
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