CHAPTER 9 - Sodapop’s POV
He stirred a little but his eyes were still closed.
“Come on Pone.” I shook him again. He slowly turned his head towards me. He was staring at me with an expression I couldn’t read. A knot of nerves tightened across my chest, making it hard to breath. Just from that look, I could already tell something was wrong.
I reached my hand out and lightly ran it across the bruise on his cheek. He flinched back at my touch, and I silently cursed those Socs. Whatever they did to my little brother, it sure scared him something awful.
Ponyboy pulled himself into a sitting position and leaned angst the head board, letting out a sigh of relief. When the sheet fell away from him, I could see a number of dark looking bruises covering him arms and the base of his neck. The blood was starting to seep through the band aid on his other cheek, and his bottom lip was swollen.
His eyes were now glued to the mattress, I put my fingers gently under his chin and forced him to look at me. I could see fear and confusion hidden deep in his green-grey eyes. He looked on the verge of tears and I wouldn’t take very much to break the flood gates. It made me feel really bad about what I had to do. But I needed to find out the truth. If not for me, then for my little brother.
I still had the boxers clenched in my hands. I placed them in-between both of us and watched his face carefully. First he looked shocked, then scared. I could see a couple tears run down his face, but he never looked up at me.
“You need to tell me what happened Pone.” I whispered. He just shook his head. He was winding his fingers around in the blanket, a nervures habit he’d had for as long as I can remember.
“Please.” I begged. He needed to tell me almost as badly as I needed to hear it. More tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes and he started shaking a little bit.
“Pony, why won’t you say it?” I asked in a sad voice. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” Pony knows that, he always has. We tell each other everything. The only person who might know more about him then me is Johnny. Johnny.
“Want Johnny to come in here?” I hoped he’d know what was wrong, in case I can’t get it outta Pony. He looks straight at the wall, shaking his head.
“Then why won’t you tell me.” I can hear the wining in my voice, but all I care about is my scared, sad, little brother.
“You’ll hate me.” He says it in such a small voice I could barley hear it. He needs my help, and I’ll always do whatever I can for him.
I wanna tell Soda so bad. I’ve never kept a secret from him before. Defiantly one this big. But if he finds out, he’ll hate me. He wouldn’t understand no matter how hard he tried. Then the gang would find out. I couldn’t live with that. I love them to much to have them hate me.
Johnny knows… but that’s different. I didn’t actually tell him. He figured it out on his own. Besides, he won’t tell anybody. I’ve kept so many secrets about what his dad has done to him that no one else in the gang has ever found out.
Soda’s brown eyes grew wide.
“What? Why would I hate you?” He asked. I knew he was confused, he wants to know so bad. But I wonder if telling him will take all this guilt away that I’ve been feeling. If not, I always have a plan B that I know would work.
I mumble something but Sodapop doesn’t hear.
“What?” He won’t take his eyes off of me. My blood-covered boxers are still sitting on the bed too. I should’ve hidden them better.
“I said you’d hate me if you knew.” The words fly outta my mouth. I try to get up off the bed, I don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into. Soda grabs my shirt though and pulls me back down. He has a pleading look in his eyes. He want’s me to tell him now, but when he finds out he’ll change his mind.
“Try me.” I try to break the grasp he has on my arm so I can get away, but he won’t let go. I shake my head hard, hopping he’ll get the message. It’d be the worst thing to ever happen to me if Sodapop never talked to me again.
Tears spill out of my eyes. I know I shouldn’t, but I start bawling. Soda puts his arm behind my neck, he cups my ear in his hand and pulls me to his chest.
I say, barley breathing, “I don’t know if I can.”
Soda’s heart is hammering, and I hear him inhale a raspy breath. “You gotta try Pony.” after a short pause, he add “How bad is it?”
Words clog my brain. “It’s bad, Soda.” I clutch his arm, and swipe my nose on his sleeve.
“Just try Pone, for me. Start from the beginning.” He’s rubbing circles on by back trying to help me relax.
“I was leaving the change rooms after track.” It was really hard to talk with the lump growing in my throat. “there were a bunch of Socs there and they started beating me up.” I had to sallow so I could continue. Soda was listening to every word I said and was still holding me tightly in his arms. “I thought they were done… but they dragged me into a ally behind the school.” My voice was starting to shake and fresh tears were pouring down my face.
I snuggled into Soda’s chest and breathed in his familiar sent. It helped me relax. When I wasn’t going to finish, Soda said “Pone, I know there’s more. What’d else they do?” I could see the scared look on his face, like he was putting everything together. And he was begging me to tell him he was wrong. But I couldn’t. Soda deserved to know, even if he never talked to me again he deserved to know.
“They uh…” I slowed again and wiped more tears on Soda’s sleeve. “… ra-rrr rape… me…” I let out a little whimper when the memories came flooding back. I wasn’t very clear, but Sodapop’s body tensed so I knew he understood.
“Awe Pone.” There’s tears poring out of his eyes now. “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” He wraps his arms tighter around my body and whispers soothing words in my ear. I didn’t tell him about today though. He doesn’t need to know. Only Johnny will. Not the gang… I forgot about the gang.
“Soda.” I wine. “Don’t tell anyone! Please, Darry doesn’t need to know.” He pulls away a little bit so he can look me in the eyes. He looks surprised, tears are still running down his face.
“Okay, I won’t tell them.” I know he’s lying. I can tell by the tone of his voice.
He lies down on the bed, pulling me with him. He won’t let me go, even after he falls asleep. New guilt starts to rise up inside of me, and along with it, shame. It’s worse then before. I wish I never told Soda.
CHAPTER 9! Looks like everyone got their wish!!