Categories > Original > Drama > If You Fall We Will Catch You; The Jonas Family

Loving Myself Has Never Been So Hard

by Jamette006 0 reviews

Meredith talks to Maria for comfort.

Category: Drama - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama - Published: 2008-07-03 - Updated: 2008-07-04 - 1439 words - Complete

0Unrated
"Meredith."

She opened her eyes slowly. Her whole body was sore. Nick was standing beside her bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap,"she groaned. Joe and Kevin hadn't taken her to the hospital, because of the drugs and alcohol in her system. Not to mention the press would go crazy. Thankfully, Maria did have some nurse training. Her wrist was only sprained badly, and she had an ace bandage around it.

"I brought you some breakfast,"he smiled. Meredith sat up a bit, and he put the tray down on her lap. She wasn't hungry, though. Almost as soon as he handed her the tray, she had to shove it back at him and run to the bathroom to throw up. The full experience of a hangover was now on her shoulders. She came back out, walking weakly and pulling her hair back into a messy ponytail.

"Where are Joe and Kevin?"

"Joe's filming,"Nick shrugged,"I'm not sure where Kevin is." Meredith looked up just as Kevin walked in.

"Speak of the devil,"Nick chuckled. Kevin half-smiled as Meredith sat back down on her bed.

"Feeling better?"

"Not really,"she said softly, looking down at the floor.

"She just threw up,"Nick frowned, worried for his sister.

"Yeah. I figured that would happen. Take it easy today, okay Mer?"Meredith nodded, and Kevin reached over to give her a hug. She hugged him back tight, then he left. Her and Nick small-talked for awhile, then he left, knowing she needed some space to think. She laid back on her bed, curling up into a fetal position. And realized how much she hated herself.

"What should we do?"Kevin asked himself while he, Joe, and Nick sat at their lunch table. Everyone was suspicious that something was going on, so they mostly left them alone.

"Call Mom and Dad. They have to know, Kevin,"Nick frowned.

"Not necessarily. Hasn't Meredith gone through enough?"

"Not to be harsh, but it's not anything she didn't get herself into. But I'm not so sure about telling Mom and Dad,"Joe commented.

"Isn't it kinda going behind their backs, though?"Nick raised an eyebrow.

"Look. Mom and Dad would overreact and get us all back home, movie or no. I think we can handle it on our own,"Kevin said, his lips pressed together.

"Oh, yeah. Like you guys handled keeping her away fom Trace."

"That's not the point, Nick,"Joe rolled his eyes. "I think she's going to be okay now that she got a wake-up call. Just thank God we got there in time."

Nick put his hands up in surrender. "Fine, fine. Do whatever you want. I'm out of this."

There was an awkward silenceat the table, until Demi walked up. Joe smiled.

"Hey guys, is everything alright?"she asked softly, sitting down. Kevin raised an eyebrow at Joe, and Nick shifted in his seat uncomfortably. Joe sighed.

"It a long story."

"Oh. Well...is Meredith okay?"Demi bit her lip.

"She'll be fine,"Kevin said curtly.

"I just heard Jennifer and Anjelica talking. I'll stay out of it, though. I didn't mean to be nosy."

"You're not being nosy, just concerned,"said Joe, staring down at his hands. He looked up, an Demi gave him a soft smile. He smiled back.

"Well. Matthew sent me up to tell you guys you need to get down to the lake in an hour."

"Just us?"Kevin asked.

"Yep,"she nodded, then skipped off. The brothers all stood up.

"What is Meredith doing today?"Nick asked.

"Mostly staying in the cabin, I guess. Maria will be watching her, she said,"Joe replied. Nick and Kevin both nodded.

"Okay. Let's go, guys,"Kevin said, walking out the door with his brothers.

Meredith took a notebook out. I haven't done this forever. She took a pencil out, and started writing, filling the page with her thoughts and emotions. It really was her way of venting. But when she was done, she still felt unsatisfied. Why was se such an idiot?

"And cut,"Matthew Diamond smiled. "Good job, guys. Take 10."

Joe spun around. "Whew. Talk about hardcore acting,"He laughed over at Kevin. Kevin rolled his eyes, making Demi laugh.

"Aw, you guys are amazing."

"Uhm, yeah, tell us something we didn't know?"Joe cocked his head to the side. Demi punched him on the shoulder.

"Stop being so big-headed."

"Says she who orders the director,"Matthew calledover. Demi looked back at him and smiled.

"Shush."

"Yes, ma'am."

Joe chuckled as Matthew went back to work, checking the gates. Nick was off to the side talking to Alyson, and Kevin...well, Kevin was just being Kevin. He overly enjoyed playing a loopy character. And he was getting plenty of attention with all his lame jokes. Hopefully he wouldn't try any comebacks this time.

"So what are you planning for this fine evening, sir?"Demi smiled up at him. His eyes focused onher lips for a moment. He was Joe Jonas, and he couldn't help himself.

"The usual. Long walks on the lakeside, poking dead things with a stick."

"Mmm. What kind of dead things?"

"I'm partial to possums. But one-eyed, one-horned, giant purple people eaters are the best."

"Indeed,"Demi rolled her eyes.

"Two minutes!"Matthew called. Joe shrugged as they all got back to their places. It was going to be a long day, and he was already exhausting from being up so late last night.

"Meredith, I brought you some lunch,"Maria Canals-Barrera opened the screen door, a lunch tray balanced in one hand. Meredith looked up from the notebook she was writing in, and smiled slightly. You couldn't stay depressed with Maria around for long.

She took the lunch, eating all of it. She was hungrier than she had ever been in her entire life.

"What's in the notebook?"Maria asked curiously. Meredith blushed.

"Oh, it's nothing, really. Just some things I write when I have the time to think."

"Can I read them? Or would you mind?" Meredith hesitated, then pulled the notebook back out.

"Here,"she said, handing it to Maria. She opened to the first page:

So Much Better

I never realized I went so deep down in at hole,

But you caught me, if only for a moment.

I've always seen what I could be when I see your eyes,

That opportunity to be great like you.

This isn't a game, I've always seen you the same.

When I look at you now, my frowns turn to smiles.

Don't you know that I need you to survive?

Well, that's just me, that's just me, and you're so much better.

Concerned expressions are lost forever,

And I'm sorry for leaving you there to watch me drift away.

A single tear is all I need for you to come running back to me.

And when I look at you now, my cares have to be there.

Don't you know that I need you to survive?

Well that's just me, that's just me, and you're so much better.

More and more the thoughts reel through my head.

I'm confused, I don't understand; why would you still be there for me?

Or is it just me, is it all in my head?

But then I turn around, and when I look at you now,

I know that you're here forever and more.

You do know that I need you to survive.

It's just me, well, it's just me, and I'm getting better now.

Maria flipped to the next page, but it was blank. She looked to Meredith, astounded.

"This is wonderful. Why haven't you ever written before?"

"Well...I have, I just haven't let anyone see it. It starts with music, you know? I just find the words to fill the empty spaces."

"How come you didn't tell anyone?! This is amazing. I'm sure your brothers would love it,"Maria smiled. Meredith laced her fingers together uncertainly.

"Um, well. It's more of a Nick thing. Writing stuff, I mean. And, well...it's kind of embarrassing?"

"How so?"Maria asked, interested. The younger Jonas girl shrugged.

"It's what I really feel. It's my music. I don't mean to be selfish, but I don't want to share it with my brothers, because it's mine,"she looked up with lost eyes. "You're not going to tell them, are you?"

"Not if you don't want me to. But I still don't see why."

"It's complicated."

"I understand."

"I'm tired, I'm going to take a nap,"Meredith said curtly. Maria nodded, getting the point. She took the lunch tray with her, walking out of the room.
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