Some bured feeling are staring to surface...
“Sweetheart, I honestly do want to come see you!” I heard Ava say on the other end of Mikey’s sidekick.
“I’m being serious Ava, just quit your job, I can support us both,” Mikey said.
“I want to Mikey, but I really just can’t!”
“Then why don’t you?!” Mikey’s volume was rising.
There was a long pause on the other end.
“I can’t go…” Ava’s voice cracked unnervingly.
“Mikey come on I love you! Isn’t that enough!?” She’d stopped making any sense, and I could tell she was most likely crying.
“I know, I love you too,” Mikey said calmly, “That’s why I need you there.”
“This is so screwed up,” Ava sobbed, “Why does this have to be happening?”
“What’s happening Ava??” Mikey started to get really concerned.
She continued to sniffle into the phone and after what seemed like hours, she spoke up,
“I…I can’t go. I’m so sorry Mikey, please forgive me but I have to leave now.”
She hung up.
Mikey was left staring into space trying to figure out what just happened.
Great, another bad feeling seeped into my gut. It was the same one that had bothered me about what had happened to Gerard's and Lyn-Z. Gerard was just beginning to recover from that incident, and now this starts up. I looked back at my laptop and wrote a quick e-mail to my parents, telling them to not bother coming to the New Jersey show after all.
“Is everything okay in here? I heard yelling.” Bob asked, entering our side of the bus. He had light blue toothpaste foam coating his lips and beard, causing him to talk obscurely.
“Nah, it’s fine,” Mikey said, “I’m just concerned about Ava.”
Bob stared at him with his icy blue eyes. The look would have had a lot more meaning to it if toothpaste hadn’t been slowly seeping down his ginger beard.
“Talk to me about it later,” Bob instructed, shoving his toothbrush back into his mouth and heading back to the sink.
Mikey groaned and plopped down next to me.
“Well, you’re a girl…What’s wrong with Ava?” he asked me.
“Well I’m no expert but that didn’t sound like a normal conversation. Something doesn’t right with the whole situation. Unless she’s on PMS, then I have no idea what’s wrong.”
Mikey did his best not to laugh, but straightened up quickly.
“But would that make her not want to quit her job, too?”
“I dunno, but girls can do some pretty strange things sometimes.” I turned back to my computer screen. Mikey noticed one of my tabs and reached over me to click it.
‘NO!!’ I screamed silently.
“Ah, does a certain someone admire another certain someone?” he smirked.
I turned a dozen shades of crimson all at once,
“No!!!” I protested, aloud this time.
Yup, Mikey caught me Googling images of Gerard, and I’d click on a wallpaper that someone had made. It was a huge collage with hearts and X’s and O’s…
“Are you sure???” Mikey asked, smiling uncontrollably.
“Yes! I’m positive!” I demanded. I closed my laptop and was about to head to the other end of the bus. I looked back to see him in a fit of giggles.
“Don’t tell…please,” I almost begged him.
“It’s okay, I won’t,” he was still grinning.
I sat down on my bunk and opened the laptop. I closed the image and erased my Google history. I sighed and stared at my desktop for a minute.
‘I hope Mikey keeps his mouth shut,’ I said to myself, ‘If he doesn’t, I’ll probably never have a chance with Gerard-’
Did I just think that?
As much as I wanted to deny it, I had actually let the thought slip into my mind. How could I fantasize like that after his emotional break up? Yes, they were officially no longer a couple. Gerard had tried calling Lyn-Z many times, but no one picked up and she never called back. She’d apparently also leaked the news to her friends and a few interviewers. MCR forums were overflowing with rumors of why it had happened, and none of them were true. I really wanted to set them all straight, but no one would believe that I actually knew Gerard personally.
Just then, Nicole and Frank came in, well…stumbled really. Once again, Frank was getting a little carried away, but Nicole didn’t object to it. Their lips were entangled passionately. Nicole’s eyes were shut tightly as though she were concentrating deeply. Frank, by now, had his hands placed over her cheeks as they made out heavily. I blushed again when the image of Gerard and I in that position flashed in my mind. I shook the thought away quickly. Why did they have to come in right at that moment? The two were so caught up in each other, that they didn’t even notice me sitting there.
Nicole opened her eyes and saw me sitting there. She let out as small yelp and parted lips with Frank. She began to turn red faster than a thermometer in a frying pan. Frank turned around to see what had caused her to stop, and when he saw me, he almost jumped.
“Oh! Hey there…” he said scratching the back of his head.
“Hey!” I said, stifling a laugh.
“Uh, what’s up?” he continued clumsily.
“Well, Ava’s being weird. She won’t quit her job, and I’m pretty sure she was crying over the phone with Mikey.”
“Why won’t she quit? She knows that job isn’t doing anything for her…” Nicole commented.
“I don’t know, but something doesn’t seem…right.”
“So she’s not coming?”
I shook my head disappointedly.
“Then your parents aren’t either?” Frank asked.
I continued to shake my head.
“I’m sorry,” Nicole said.
“It’s okay,” I said dimly. Being on tour, I didn’t get to see my folks that much, and I was beginning to miss them.
“How did you know about Ava?” Frank asked.
“Mikey was just one the phone with her.”
“Was it intense?”
“Awww, I’ll go check on him,” Frank kissed Nicole one last time before going off to comfort Mikey.
“Do you have that gut feeling, that something’s really wrong?” Nicole asked, sitting down next to me.
“Yeah, I know it’s just a feeling, but no matter what I do, I can’t shrug it off.”
She nodded solemnly, “Me too.”