Categories > Original > Drama > Nothing To Lose
Nothing To Lose
Chapter Title: In Sickness and In Health
Authors Note: Well, as you can tell this chapter was taking out of traditional wedding vows. A few of them will be, most will be scattered through out the story but the next chapter is also part of the wedding vows, it just fits the chapter so well. Oh, this chapter will only have a short Bryan and Jamie scene. It's mostly about David and Silas. Sorry, they take over for a little bit.
On With The Story:
"Tea?" Silas asked pouring himself a glass of warm tea.
"Sure," David said and silence fell as Silas poured a second glass.
Silas didn't know what to say to someone who hadn't been in his life for almost eleven years. David still hadn't told him why he was waiting for him on his door step, and Silas hadn't bothered to ask. It had just shocked him to see David sitting there.
"You okay Silas, you don't look so good," David said breaking the silence.
"I'm okay, just today is one of my bad day's you know," Silas told him.
"Yeah, I know," David said dryly looking down at the table. "You're dressed kind of fancy, special occasion?"
"A friend of mine got married today, I was coming home from their reception," he told him.
"Congratulations for the happy couple," David said holding up his tea in a sort of toast.
"I'm sure Bryan and Jamie will appreciate it," Silas said with a chuckle.
David smiled at him and Silas sat down across from him taking in his appearance. David looked a lot more mature than he had at eighteen, which was of course expected, but he still remained essentially David. He had always been beautiful. He had golden eyes along with golden blond hair. He'd always had a smile on his face when Silas had known him. He'd been in love with life. No one could have upset him, which was something Silas hadn't understood. He'd been shy and timid as a teenager. He'd come out, as they call it, to his friends when he was sixteen, and to say they didn't like it would have been an understatement. He had been harassed while at home and at school. His dad had even switched him to a different school because of it.
They had been such an odd couple while they were together. People used to joke about it all the time. David, who would talk to anyone and everyone, who always had a story you could laugh at, hanging out with a guy who seemed to be scared of his own shadow. No one who went to their small college had even guessed that they were lovers at first. No one could imagine David being gay. There were jokes about Silas being gay; he'd never been very good at hiding it, but David they never even seemed to have the slightest doubt that he was straight. It made it all the more fun when people had found out they were dating. It was because of David that Silas had turned even the slightest bit athletic, which was good because it helped him when he was suffering at first because of his aids.
"Silas, are you in there?" David asked and Silas seemed to bring himself out of his daydreams.
"Yeah, sorry, just thinking," he told him.
"Listen, I should have waited till tomorrow and warned you I was coming to see you, I've obviously upset you," David said standing up. "I should go."
David got up and Silas grabbed his arm quickly looking up at him.
"Don't go David, you're not upsetting me, I was hoping to see you again," he said softly.
"You were?" David asked shocked.
"Yes," Silas said.
David sat down and looked at Silas with a raised eyebrow, then sighed.
"What do we do now?" he asked.
~*~
Bryan and Jamie walked into the hotel with a sigh. It had been a long evening with both their families. Brenna had bugged Bryan until he agreed she could spend the summer in New York, and Jamie's parents hadn't wanted to leave their sides.
Diana and Andy immediately plopped themselves in front of the TV eagerly. Bryan had promised them that they would watch the movie Finding Never Land when they got home. They put in the movie and then sat on the couch behind the kids. Jamie laid his head on Bryan's shoulder and Bryan wrapped his arm around him.
They'd already decided that with Diana being there, that their wedding night wasn't going to be a usual wedding night. They were going to have to keep their hands to themselves for the most part.
Near the middle of the movie Jamie slide down to where his head was laying on Bryan's thigh and closed his eyes. Bryan started running his fingers through his hair and within moments Jamie was asleep.
~*~
David and Silas sat at the table eating the small meal that Silas had cooked up, talking easily about friends from college that David had kept in contact with, when David looked up at Silas with a suddenly serious look on his face.
"When did you find out?" he asked softly.
"What do you mean?" Silas asked confused.
"I mean about the AIDS. When did you find out, and how long did you hate me for it?" he asked.
Silas sighed and put his drink back down on the table.
"I found out right before I left you, it's actually why I left you," he said. "I thought you had cheated on me and had gotten it. I felt so betrayed at the time, I just lost it. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I just packed up my stuff and went back home to stay with my dad until I found a better place to live."
"So you knew about it before I did?" David asked him slowly.
"Yeah," Silas said with a nod. "I should have told you, but I was just so hurt."
"I know Silas," David said with a smile in his direction. "You have no idea how much I regret doing this to you. You're suffering because of me, and I hate myself for it."
Silas reached across the table and gripped David's hand in his own.
"It wasn't your fault," he told him. "Although, I would like to know how someone like you, who'd always loved being alive, got dealt such a harsh blow."
"It happened when I was eight. I was going somewhere with my mom, and she slipped on a sheet of ice. The car ran into a tree, it killed her instantly as I was told later on, and I had lost a lot of blood," he said softly. "I had to get a blood transfusion to keep me alive, but that was before they screened the blood. The blood I was giving was tainted, and it stayed dormant till I was eighteen so it seems."
"Go figure," Silas said with a shake of his head. "The blood transfusion meant to save your life in the end kills you."
It seemed Silas finally had the answer to one of the questions he'd always asked himself about David. The man was so happy to be alive because he'd almost died as a young boy. David looked down at his hands, and when he looked up there were tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Silas. If I had known, we wouldn't have been together, I never would have knowingly put your life in danger," he said and there was a catch to his voice. "I loved you so much."
Silas closed his eyes as tears filled them. It broke his heart to see David like this. Even after the years they spent apart a part of him still cared about Silas. As the saying goes, your first love never dies. Even while he had hated David, a part of him wanted to run right back into his arms and hold him.
"It's not your fault David," he said softly. "Now, I told you what I did when I found out, what did you do?"
David smiled and glanced up at the ceiling.
"I went everywhere," he said softly. "It was only a couple of weeks after you had left me, and I decided my life was over; why not live it up while I could. I spent most my time traveling Europe, just thinking about what I really wanted to do. I mean, there was an even shorter time limit on my life. What was I going to do with it? I ended up going back home to my family, getting a house in our hometown, getting a steady job, and just taking what life hands me. Then I saw your name in the phone book, I had to contact you, I had to know how you were. When you wrote me back I was so happy, I almost thought you'd never want to see me again."
"I didn't at first, at first you were the most disgusting thing on the planet to me," Silas admitted. "After that passed, I just wanted answers."
"We should have been there for each other," David told him quietly.
"It would have made facing things a lot easier, but for a while, I had Bryan, and that helped," Silas told him.
"You mean the Bryan that got married this after noon?" he asked.
"Yeah, we dated for a few years. He had actually just found out he was gay because he was attracted me to and not my step sister," Silas told him.
"Interesting," David said with a chuckle. "I'm glad you found someone to accept you even with the AIDS."
"Yeah, but then he wanted sex, and I made him leave," Silas said with a shrug, pouring himself another glass of tea.
"Damn I pity you Silas," David told him.
"Why?
"You've only been with one man in your entire life," David replied.
"Very true, but I don't think I ever paid attention to that detail," Silas told him.
"No, but you wouldn't, the emotions were a lot more important to you, and you showed me that they could be to me also," David said softly. "I was too into the physical part of my relationships."
Silas smiled and picked up the plates that they'd finally finished eating off. He scraped them out in the trash and started to run dish water to wash them. He shut off the sink and was about to wash the dishes when he felt arms snake their way around his waist. His breath caught and David rested his head on Silas's shoulder.
"I don't know why, but I just felt as if I had to do that, I guess it's because more times than not this is how our dinner's ended in college, me distracting you from the dishes," David told him.
Silas grinned and leaned his head back. David was right; something was getting into them, because they were both reliving the past rather vividly.
"Those were some good times," he told him.
"Yes they were," David said softly and Silas turned himself around in David's arms.
He found himself staring up into David's golden eyes, and he felt as if he had gone back in time ten years. It felt right, once again to be held in David's arms. Before he could register it, David was leaning closer and he felt his lips close in a soft kiss on his lips.
He wrapped his arms around David's neck and kissed him back before leaning back and looking at him.
"Stay the night David, please, I don't mean for sex, which for us could actually happen but for someone to hold onto during the night," he said softly.
"Sure," David said and kissed him.
They walked to Silas's room where they laid down and David wrapped his arms around Silas tightly. He was holding Silas as if he was afraid he'd disappear. Silas wasn't complaining.
End Chapter.
I'll update again soon.
Chapter Title: In Sickness and In Health
Authors Note: Well, as you can tell this chapter was taking out of traditional wedding vows. A few of them will be, most will be scattered through out the story but the next chapter is also part of the wedding vows, it just fits the chapter so well. Oh, this chapter will only have a short Bryan and Jamie scene. It's mostly about David and Silas. Sorry, they take over for a little bit.
On With The Story:
"Tea?" Silas asked pouring himself a glass of warm tea.
"Sure," David said and silence fell as Silas poured a second glass.
Silas didn't know what to say to someone who hadn't been in his life for almost eleven years. David still hadn't told him why he was waiting for him on his door step, and Silas hadn't bothered to ask. It had just shocked him to see David sitting there.
"You okay Silas, you don't look so good," David said breaking the silence.
"I'm okay, just today is one of my bad day's you know," Silas told him.
"Yeah, I know," David said dryly looking down at the table. "You're dressed kind of fancy, special occasion?"
"A friend of mine got married today, I was coming home from their reception," he told him.
"Congratulations for the happy couple," David said holding up his tea in a sort of toast.
"I'm sure Bryan and Jamie will appreciate it," Silas said with a chuckle.
David smiled at him and Silas sat down across from him taking in his appearance. David looked a lot more mature than he had at eighteen, which was of course expected, but he still remained essentially David. He had always been beautiful. He had golden eyes along with golden blond hair. He'd always had a smile on his face when Silas had known him. He'd been in love with life. No one could have upset him, which was something Silas hadn't understood. He'd been shy and timid as a teenager. He'd come out, as they call it, to his friends when he was sixteen, and to say they didn't like it would have been an understatement. He had been harassed while at home and at school. His dad had even switched him to a different school because of it.
They had been such an odd couple while they were together. People used to joke about it all the time. David, who would talk to anyone and everyone, who always had a story you could laugh at, hanging out with a guy who seemed to be scared of his own shadow. No one who went to their small college had even guessed that they were lovers at first. No one could imagine David being gay. There were jokes about Silas being gay; he'd never been very good at hiding it, but David they never even seemed to have the slightest doubt that he was straight. It made it all the more fun when people had found out they were dating. It was because of David that Silas had turned even the slightest bit athletic, which was good because it helped him when he was suffering at first because of his aids.
"Silas, are you in there?" David asked and Silas seemed to bring himself out of his daydreams.
"Yeah, sorry, just thinking," he told him.
"Listen, I should have waited till tomorrow and warned you I was coming to see you, I've obviously upset you," David said standing up. "I should go."
David got up and Silas grabbed his arm quickly looking up at him.
"Don't go David, you're not upsetting me, I was hoping to see you again," he said softly.
"You were?" David asked shocked.
"Yes," Silas said.
David sat down and looked at Silas with a raised eyebrow, then sighed.
"What do we do now?" he asked.
~*~
Bryan and Jamie walked into the hotel with a sigh. It had been a long evening with both their families. Brenna had bugged Bryan until he agreed she could spend the summer in New York, and Jamie's parents hadn't wanted to leave their sides.
Diana and Andy immediately plopped themselves in front of the TV eagerly. Bryan had promised them that they would watch the movie Finding Never Land when they got home. They put in the movie and then sat on the couch behind the kids. Jamie laid his head on Bryan's shoulder and Bryan wrapped his arm around him.
They'd already decided that with Diana being there, that their wedding night wasn't going to be a usual wedding night. They were going to have to keep their hands to themselves for the most part.
Near the middle of the movie Jamie slide down to where his head was laying on Bryan's thigh and closed his eyes. Bryan started running his fingers through his hair and within moments Jamie was asleep.
~*~
David and Silas sat at the table eating the small meal that Silas had cooked up, talking easily about friends from college that David had kept in contact with, when David looked up at Silas with a suddenly serious look on his face.
"When did you find out?" he asked softly.
"What do you mean?" Silas asked confused.
"I mean about the AIDS. When did you find out, and how long did you hate me for it?" he asked.
Silas sighed and put his drink back down on the table.
"I found out right before I left you, it's actually why I left you," he said. "I thought you had cheated on me and had gotten it. I felt so betrayed at the time, I just lost it. I didn't want to talk to anyone about it. I just packed up my stuff and went back home to stay with my dad until I found a better place to live."
"So you knew about it before I did?" David asked him slowly.
"Yeah," Silas said with a nod. "I should have told you, but I was just so hurt."
"I know Silas," David said with a smile in his direction. "You have no idea how much I regret doing this to you. You're suffering because of me, and I hate myself for it."
Silas reached across the table and gripped David's hand in his own.
"It wasn't your fault," he told him. "Although, I would like to know how someone like you, who'd always loved being alive, got dealt such a harsh blow."
"It happened when I was eight. I was going somewhere with my mom, and she slipped on a sheet of ice. The car ran into a tree, it killed her instantly as I was told later on, and I had lost a lot of blood," he said softly. "I had to get a blood transfusion to keep me alive, but that was before they screened the blood. The blood I was giving was tainted, and it stayed dormant till I was eighteen so it seems."
"Go figure," Silas said with a shake of his head. "The blood transfusion meant to save your life in the end kills you."
It seemed Silas finally had the answer to one of the questions he'd always asked himself about David. The man was so happy to be alive because he'd almost died as a young boy. David looked down at his hands, and when he looked up there were tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Silas. If I had known, we wouldn't have been together, I never would have knowingly put your life in danger," he said and there was a catch to his voice. "I loved you so much."
Silas closed his eyes as tears filled them. It broke his heart to see David like this. Even after the years they spent apart a part of him still cared about Silas. As the saying goes, your first love never dies. Even while he had hated David, a part of him wanted to run right back into his arms and hold him.
"It's not your fault David," he said softly. "Now, I told you what I did when I found out, what did you do?"
David smiled and glanced up at the ceiling.
"I went everywhere," he said softly. "It was only a couple of weeks after you had left me, and I decided my life was over; why not live it up while I could. I spent most my time traveling Europe, just thinking about what I really wanted to do. I mean, there was an even shorter time limit on my life. What was I going to do with it? I ended up going back home to my family, getting a house in our hometown, getting a steady job, and just taking what life hands me. Then I saw your name in the phone book, I had to contact you, I had to know how you were. When you wrote me back I was so happy, I almost thought you'd never want to see me again."
"I didn't at first, at first you were the most disgusting thing on the planet to me," Silas admitted. "After that passed, I just wanted answers."
"We should have been there for each other," David told him quietly.
"It would have made facing things a lot easier, but for a while, I had Bryan, and that helped," Silas told him.
"You mean the Bryan that got married this after noon?" he asked.
"Yeah, we dated for a few years. He had actually just found out he was gay because he was attracted me to and not my step sister," Silas told him.
"Interesting," David said with a chuckle. "I'm glad you found someone to accept you even with the AIDS."
"Yeah, but then he wanted sex, and I made him leave," Silas said with a shrug, pouring himself another glass of tea.
"Damn I pity you Silas," David told him.
"Why?
"You've only been with one man in your entire life," David replied.
"Very true, but I don't think I ever paid attention to that detail," Silas told him.
"No, but you wouldn't, the emotions were a lot more important to you, and you showed me that they could be to me also," David said softly. "I was too into the physical part of my relationships."
Silas smiled and picked up the plates that they'd finally finished eating off. He scraped them out in the trash and started to run dish water to wash them. He shut off the sink and was about to wash the dishes when he felt arms snake their way around his waist. His breath caught and David rested his head on Silas's shoulder.
"I don't know why, but I just felt as if I had to do that, I guess it's because more times than not this is how our dinner's ended in college, me distracting you from the dishes," David told him.
Silas grinned and leaned his head back. David was right; something was getting into them, because they were both reliving the past rather vividly.
"Those were some good times," he told him.
"Yes they were," David said softly and Silas turned himself around in David's arms.
He found himself staring up into David's golden eyes, and he felt as if he had gone back in time ten years. It felt right, once again to be held in David's arms. Before he could register it, David was leaning closer and he felt his lips close in a soft kiss on his lips.
He wrapped his arms around David's neck and kissed him back before leaning back and looking at him.
"Stay the night David, please, I don't mean for sex, which for us could actually happen but for someone to hold onto during the night," he said softly.
"Sure," David said and kissed him.
They walked to Silas's room where they laid down and David wrapped his arms around Silas tightly. He was holding Silas as if he was afraid he'd disappear. Silas wasn't complaining.
End Chapter.
I'll update again soon.
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