Just when everything seems to be fine, a piece of James' past comes back to haunt him...
This chapter is dedicated to my best buddy Butt McKracky a.k.a MyNameOkay and Thalia a.k.a IeroMyHeroMCR ^_^
I sat up in bed, shaking slightly from the dream I'd been having just seconds ago. I looked around and swallowed, noticing that Damien wasn't next to me. He must be down in the kitchen, eating with the guys. The guys. A quick flashback of everything that happened yesterday filled my mind, starting with the beating and ending with the fight with my father. My father... I was still struggling to believe that Frank could possibly be my father. It's not that it was impossible, because I mean the looks were all there, it's the fact that for seventeen years of my life I had lived without one. And for him to come waltzing back into my life the day that I came back to my birth place was beyond weird. It was...I don't even have a word for it. But I know that somewhere, deep down, I'm happy that I finally met him.
Yawning, I stretched and got out of bed, then readjusted my boxers so that they no longer stuck to my sweaty body.
"It'll only hurt a little bit..."
I shook my head and just about ran out of the room, concentrating on the quiet chatter going on in the livingroom.
"Dammit Mikey, why do you have to be such a noob?!" I heard Bob shout, and then the sound of guns being fired came from what could only be identified as the t.v.
"Hey, you guys playing Halo this early?" I asked, helping myself to some cereal from the cabinet closest to the fridge. They both nodded, then yelled as their men were blown up. I smirked and shook my head sadly. Man, what is up with men and that stupid Halo game? "You guys seen Damien?"
"Ugh, mother fucker! What? Oh uh, Damien and Frank are out back swimming. Or at least trying to, anyway. I'm gonna go eat, 'kay Bobbers?" Bob nodded, then continued playing. "From what I hear," Mikey said as he walked into the kitchen and got some cereal, "Damien doesn't know how to swim. So Frank was gonna teach him. But...all I hear is laughing. So I dunno. Want some juice?"
"Nah, I'm not thirsty." I put my dish in the sink and stretched my arms above my head, earning a giant CRACK! from my back. "Oh fuck, that felt good," I said, and Mikey laughed. "So uh, where's Gerard?"
"I don't know. Probably still sleeping. He's weird like that, you know, always sleeping during daylight hours. I'm gonna go wake him up, it's almost four," and he jogged up the stairs.
"Wait; four in the afternoon?" I asked incrediously. Bob snickered, putting the game on pause.
"Well duh, would it be this bright at four a.m?"
"Smart ass. I'm headin' out back." Bob shrugged and continued playing his stupid Halo game.
"Fucken' uber noob," I mumbled, stepping out in the hot Arizona sun. "Ughhhh, didn't miss this at all."
Damien and Frank were floating in the water face up, and for a second I considered just jumping in. But I decided not to on account of the fact that I really didn't even know how to swim all that well, and the little number on the inside of the pool said it was about eleven feet deep. Instead I sat down on one of the few pool chairs, and before I knew it I was fast asleep.
I was back in my old house, the one I grew up in before Damien and I ran away, and I was six. The house smelled like burnt fish, and most of the furniture was missing. The house felt deserted, and for a few minutes, I thought I was completely alone. Except I kept hearing scuttling above me in the room where my mother slept. Were there rats up there? Or mice? Better ask mommy when she comes home. But when will that be? My stomach growls at me, and I decide to check out the 'friderator. Using all the strength I can muster from my little body, I pull open the door to find...nothing but some moldy cheese. I groan along with my stomach, and slam the door shut, wondering why there's never any food in the house. Never ever ever!
After a little while, I decide that I want to sleep, hoping that maybe then the hunger pains would go away and I would wake up when mommy got home to feed me. I made my way up the staircase, skipping the steps that squeaked and squealed. When I get to the top, the first thing I notice is that my door is missing, and everything but the Veggie Tale posters and my bed are gone. A flash of fear hits me, and I think that momm must be punishing me, because she didn't like the posters. She said that kiddie shows were stupid, and that they brainwashed you, and by buying their posters and playthings you were helping them torture little boys and girls just like me. I didn't want to believe her, but she was Mommy, and mommies never lie. I rub my eyes with both hands and yawn. Mommy's bed is real comfy..she won't mind if I sleep in it, will she? I think, then run and jump into it, snuggling down into the blankets. They smell like mom. Just as I'm dozing off, I hear a car outside and the sound of two doors shutting. I stretch, thinking it's probably across the street or next door, but when the front door swings open and a chair falls over, I jump up and run to the closet.
"Where?" a male voice asks.
"Upstairs, on the left. Hurry baby." My mom's voice floats up the stairs, and then the footsteps start. I hear them come all the way up the stairs and then they fall on the bed. The old springs in the mattress groan and complain at the sudden weight, and I bring my eyes to the small crack in the door. I watch as a man takes all my mommy's clothes off, and then they do things to each other. I've seen it all before, but never with Mama. It's usually on those late night shows that I'm not really allowed to watch.
Just when I think they're done, the man suddenly hits my mom and I cry out "Mommy!" and then smack a hand over my mouth.
"What the fuck.. you have kids?!"
"N-no, Billy, I only have one. He's.. He's supposed to be-"
"I don't give a shit about where he's supposed to be, what's he doing here in the first place?" The man gets up, pulls his shorts up, and storms over to the closet. I back up into the clothes, hoping he won't see me. The doors fly open and I hold my breath. For a moment I think he doesn't see me, and then I find myself flying forward where the floor meets my face. I roll over and scramble up to Mommy, who's crying.
"Billy, his nose is bleeding!"
"So what? He shouldn't have been spying in the first place!" He storms towards us. I grab onto mom, but it doesn't do any good because he yanks me up by my hair and throws me to the floor.
"Stop it, Billy!"
"Shut up, you little slut!" he spits out. I didn't know what a slut was, but Mommy started crying. "Now," he says, pulling me up. "Did you enjoy watching me fuck your mom? Huh? Did you?"
"Billy! James honey, don't lis-"
"Shut UP!" Mom whimpers and goes silent. "Well did you? Because you know, there's a little thing called Privacy, and I don't like being stripped of that. Now answer me truthfully: how did you like your mom's tits?"
"I dunno.." I answer, earning a laugh from the man. Then he pushes me so that I fall back down on my back, and goes down on his knees, holding me down so I can't move.
"I don't like little boys; they're no fun," he whispers in my ear. I gulp. I'd seen this in a movie once: it didn't turn out so good. I close my eyes. "LOOK AT ME ME!" I jump a little and look him in the eye as a tear slowly forms in mine. He wipes it away. "Aw, poor baby. Sh sh, don't cry. I'm gonna make it all better..."
"Billy? Billy, what are you gonna do? Billy? Billy!"
"Get. Out. Or else you won't see your son again."
"O-okay. Baby, honey, it's gonna be alright. Mommy won't let him hurt-"
"You shouldn't make promises that you can't keep, bitch."
Mommy leaves, and the Billy-Man chuckles and locks the door.
"Mommy doesn't love you, James. Mommy went and left you with the big bad wolf."
"But you're not hairy?"
"No, James, I'm not. I can't, otherwise it wouldn't feel that good when I.. when I love on you."
"You mean like Mommy loves you?"
"Yes James, just like Mommy loves me. Do you want to be loved?"
"Mhm! But.. not by you," I say meekly. He chuckles darkly.
"Oh ho! But you will, boy, you will. Roll over."
"Roll. The fuck. OVER!" I yelped and rolled onto my stomach. "That's a good little boy. Does this feel good?"
He runs his hand down my back and around to my stomach, then pulls up my shirt and slips his hand into my pants. I yell out and try to get away from him, but he holds my skinny scrawny body down with just one arm. I frown and think about all the possible ways to get away. We'd gone over this today in class, but I hadn't been paying much attention because Kendra Wright had been wearing a skirt and her pink undies kept showing and it was funny. I waited until he removed the hand before I kicked at him and made a run for it.
"Fuck! Get back her you little shit," he yells and I find myself falling again.
I hit the floor with my arms at a weird angle and hear a disgusting crack. "Mommy!" I scream as the pain in my left arm increases, a fire burning through my veins. "Mommy, help me! He-"
"Mommy can't help you. Now I'm pissed, James. Do you know why I'm pissed?" I shook my head. "Because you ruined my fun. You broke your arm, can you feel that?" He grips my left arm, which was starting to feel numb, and the bones scrape together. I scream bloody murder. Mommy bangs on the door.
"Let him go, Billy, you let him go!"
Billy laughs and leaves me on the floor. "Or what, you'll break down the door?"
"No I'll.. I'll call the c-cops!"
"You can't, bitch. Other wise they'll see that you're high off your rocket, and they'll take James away from you." I hear Mommy whimper and the banging stops, and then the sound of her crying is muffled through the door. I can't help it; I start to cry. I'm crying because of the pain, because of Mommy's yelling, and because the big bad man is touching my hair, stroking it just like Mommy used to. "Sh, James. It's okay."
I look up at him from where I'm laying, and watch him undo his pants. I choke on my sobs and try to crawl away again, but only succeed in hurting my broken arm. The Billy-Man pulls me back and forces me to lay still, on my back, while he pulls down my pants. Part of me knows what's about to happen, because I've heard about it from other kids, and part of me knows that there's nothing I can do to stop it. And crying won't help at all. "Will it hurt?" I whisper, sniffling.
"It'll only hurt for a little bit, baby," the Billy-Man says. Then he wipes my tears away and I'm suddenly filled with agonizing pain....
I flew up out of my chair and stumbled backwards as a bunch of black dots blocked my vision. "James, watch out!" I heard Damien shout, and before I know it I'm falling, almost in slow motion.
The ice cold water hits me like a smack to the face, and the wind is knocked out of me. Going against my better judgement, I opened my mouth and tried to breathe, then choked and coughed on water. Stupid, James, stupid! You could drown... But I didn't drown. Frank pulled me out of the water and hit my chest hard, making me spit out all the water I had just swallowed. I rolled over and shook my head, then tried to get up.
"Whoa there, James, easy does it," Bob's voice said, and a strong pair of arms helped me up. I coughed a little bit more and clutched Bob's arm as he helped me inside and up to the bathroom. Once up there I stripped out of my clothes and dried off, then put on a clean pair of boxers, some pants, and a plain black shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror.
"You're so stupid, James. Freaking out like that... My God, it was just a dream!" I mumbled at my reflection. But from somewhere inside of me my inner voice counters, A fucking dream, my ass. Who are you kidding, you knew you'd remember eventually. I shook my head and walked out of the bathroom, then walked down the stairs and found all the guys, and Damien, on the couch looking at me with concern on their faces. I smiled. "Hey guys, funny shit, huh?" Nobody laughed.
"James.. Buddy.. Are you OK? I mean, that was a class A flip-out," Damien said, standing up to check me over. I nudged him away.
"Yeah yeah I'm fine, honest. I was relaxing, and then somehow I must've dozed off, and then I was dreaming. Some dream, huh? I flippin'.. flipped out," I joked, but again nobody laughed. I groaned. "Come on you guys, I'm alright, seriously." I could tell they didn't believe me, so I rolled my eyes and went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. I chugged it down and by the time I turned around they guys were all playing Halo again, and Damien was talking to Gerard. Pretty soon they both came over to me. I grabbed another bottle of water and walked past them.
"Leave it, Gerard. I'm just really tired, and I still have to help find Bob's daughter. That's enough to give you a nightmare, isn't it?" and I jogged up the stairs into mine and Damien's room, and shut the door. I plopped down on the bed and buried myself underneath the covers, thinking about why I was suddenly dreaming about my past. Was it because after all these years of forgetting and trying to survive, everything I had hidden deep inside my subconscience was resurfacing because Damien and I had finally returned to our home state? Maybe. Was it because now that I found my real dad, there were things that I needed to tell him? Not real likely, but it could happen. "Jesus James, just forget about it. What happened when you were six happened, and there's nothing you can do to change that. Just get used to it and forget about it."
I dozed off a little while later and didn't dream at all.