she wrote in ink with blood to tell the world the secret...Please r/r! [suicide don't take this lightly!]
- It's "you're," not "your," but that was your only technical problem not covered by poetic license. Whoever it was should not have rated this "Illiterate."
Author's responseThanks! I didn't even see that though....:( and whoever did rated this as illiterate is dumb! I'm glad that u did enjoy this poem! (I am more of a poet than a writer!)
- Oh, I didn't particularly enjoy it. I just don't think it was fair that this got a rating of "Illiterate."
Overall, I'd say that there's nothing particularly wrong with this poem, but it doesn't do anything new either. Think of it this way. Every few years, there's a new Cinderella movie - "Ever After," that TV version with Brandy and Burnadette Peters, "Ella Enchanted" (the movie was bad but the book was great). Why do they bother telling the same story? Answer: Because each retelling tries something a little different. "Ever After" gave us a completely magic-free version. "Ella" put Cinderella under a curse.
Now you're writing a poem about suicide. What can you do with it? What do other people do in suicide poems that you don't like? What do you wish people could express? What do you think people are afraid of hearing?
Author's responsei see...but i understnad where your coming from. and yes people do not like suicide poems because they always end up sad. i thought the ending was different because it gave some hope...anyway i quite agree with about the rating.
and yes some my poems are considered to be emo.
- I wandered over here from the forums. After reading your poem, I could not justify the illiterate rating. There are numerous grammatical errors, but that does not make it illiterate. If there was a rating for it, I would list it as mediocre. It is not a bad poem, it just does not do a lot for the subject. While not an expert, by any means, I have written quite a bit of poetry (which I do not plan on posting here, for obvious reasons) and I review quite a bit. So, I do feel qualified to point out the grammatical errors and the repititious wording. This could be very nice with a bit of editing.
Thank you for sharing.
Author's responseThanks for the comment and suggestions!