Rated for sexual exploits. Hurt.
“Thanks again,” Charlie said as she closed the passenger door. She quickly turned to her house almost running to the front door to keep Mikey from seeing the tears that were threatening to fall.
She flung the front door open and slammed it closed, not caring if her dad heard. Her body hurt, her heart hurt, everything hurt. She sprinted up the stairs and ran to her room. She closed her door harshly and fell onto her bed, tears streaming down her face. She just lay there her chest heaving as she just let go, sobbing into her pillow. She didn’t know why, but Mikey had broken her heart. She tried to convince herself that it didn’t matter, he didn’t matter, Charlie still had Dev and she knew that Devon loved her. She had to love Devon, he was right for her. But Mikey didn’t love her, a voice in the back of her head. Charlie whimpered and pulled her blankets around her body tightly. There was a soft knock on her door.
Charlie rolled onto her side away from her door, “Chris, leave me alone right not,” Charlie said brokenly, but she heard the door open, “Chris, I told you-“ Charlie sat up in her bed, her words stopped in her throat as she stared at the one person she never thought she’d see. Her mother stood in the doorway, wearing a thin pencil skirt and a brown blouse.
“I’m sorry, mother, I thought you were Chris,” Charlie apologized, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes.
Charlie’s mother smiled, nodding gently. Charlie watched her mother, the hesitant steps she took, the wrinkles that covered her face from anxiety, the patches of gray in her hair. Charlie knew her mother wasn’t as old as she appeared. She had suffered a difficult marriage. Charlie remembered when she was younger, how her mom was pretty and outgoing, how all the men at the elementary school gatherings would pay special attention to her mother. Charlie’s eyes refilled with tears, coming back to the present and seeing an old, cold-hearted woman that Charlie didn’t even recognize anymore. She didn’t even recognize a true feeling of love anymore, she hated that, she hated that her brother had to grow up in an environment where he learned what divorce was before marriage.
“Mom, what’s happened to us?” Charlie asked slow tears cascading down her cheeks. Charlie’s mother smiled, Charlie was so used to seeing that fake smile that she couldn’t remember what her real one looked like.
“Nothing has happened, we’re just different then most families,” Charlie snorted, different. One of those words people used to describe the freaks nicely.
“Mom, divorce dad! Don’t make us move, please!” Charlie shouted desperately, tears continuing in streams down her face.
“Charlene, that is not my decision to make, what your father thinks is best-“
“He BEATS us for Christ sake! Why the hell would you stay with him?!” Charlie screamed, her mother stiffened.
“It’s called tough love-“
“Tough love my ass. This is brutal mom and you know it,” Charlie’s mother was silent.
“I don’t care what you think on the matter, I’m going to work. Take care of your brother,” She said and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Charlie fell back on her bed; no one cared anymore. Not her parents or her best friend, no one care. At the moment she would rather die then feel this lonesome.
Charlie lay awake on her back, staring at her ceiling. Tear tracks still fresh on her face. She let go a sigh, flipping onto her stomach and reaching for her cell phone. She grabbed up the small silver object and flipped it open. It was almost five, she didn’t know how long she had lay there crying nor did she care. Charlie sighed out loud, seeing the ‘missed calls’ icon blinking at her. She clicked it open and of course she had four missed calls from Devon. Charlie figured she couldn’t avoid her boyfriend anymore and clicked the call button. She brought the phone to her ear and listened to it ring until Dev’s deep voice came on the line.
“Hello?” Devon sounded miserable.
“Devon, it’s Charlie, what’s wrong?”
“Charlie! Why the hell haven’t you been answering my phone calls?” Devon asked frantically, Charlie marveled at his voice the genuine worry it held.
“I left my phone at home, Dev, I’m really sorry,” Charlie apologized.
“I’m glad that you’re alright, you are, aren’t you?” Devon asked, Charlie could tell he was holding his breath. Dev held his breath when he was worried, often times it made him pass out.
“Yeah I’m fine,” She lied.
“Ci, you had me so worried. Baby, I thought something bad happened to you,” Devon said. Charlie bit her bottom lip; she didn’t know what to tell Devon about last night.
“I’m alright, Dev,” Charlie said softly. Even though her headache was now pounding loudly in her eardrums.
Then Charlie heard Devon sigh, “Charlie, I don’t think you’ve been telling me everything,” he said slowly as if he was picking his words carefully.
Charlie’s heart skipped a beat, “What do you mean?” She asked even though she knew where Devon’s train of thought was going.
“Charlie, I really hate saying this, but I think you’re hiding stuff from me. I don’t know if maybe you’re a prostitute or you’re keeping an Eskimo in your closet, but I know there’s something. So does Lauren and Bachman and everyone else. I love you Charlie and I want to be able to be there for you, but I can’t if you won’t let me,” Devon said in a rush, taking a deep breath and waiting silently for Charlie’s response hoping that she wouldn’t react badly.
Charlie already had it figured out; she knew Devon was going to bring this up eventually. He wasn’t dumb and he actually paid attention to her unlike her other shit ex-boyfriends, but she wasn’t sure she was ready with finalizing the fact that she was leaving her life. Leaving the people she held close in her heart.
“Devon, you’re really sweet and I wish I could explain, but some things are best left alone,” Charlie said. She sensed that her response wasn’t what Dev was looking for and held the phone away from her ear.
“But why?! I want to help, to be there when you need someone,” Dev explained desperately.
I already have someone, she though. But that small voice corrected her, had someone.
Charlie sighed, a knot finding its way into her throat, she swallowed thickly. “Devon, I-I don’t want to tell you,” She whispered.
“Why not?! I’m your boyfriend for Christ sake! You should be able to tell me anything!” Devon shouted into the phone.
Charlie could feel the barriers of her defense slipping away, her body to weak to stand up for herself, “Devon! I’m moving, okay?! I’m moving away to Bayonne. Is that what you wanted to hear?!” Charlie shouted back. She was met by a long silence, she quickly checked to see if Devon had hung up, when she saw that he didn’t she put the phone back to her ear.
“You’re moving?” Devon questioned slowly.
Charlie sighed, “Yes, Devon.”
“When were you planning on telling me? The day before you left?” Devon asked, the tone in his voice slightly outraged.
“Dev, please don’t be angry, I only found out Friday.”
“Ci you told Mikey! You know I never really minded him, until you started hanging out with him more than you did me. You even tell him more than you will ever tell me. What does he have that I don’t? Am I just not good enough?” Devon asked.
“Devon, stop! Mikey is my best friend! I told him because I can tell him anything without him freaking out! I love you, Dev, but just let it go,” Charlie said, while fisting her blankets in her hand and lying down on her back again. Charlie had to make herself believe what she had said. She loved Devon; Mikey was just her best friend. That would never change. Just like her own mother said, nothing will ever happen.
“I always thought you looked really beautiful, even when you’re angry,” Dev said softly. Charlie got that fuzzy feeling, that at the moment she cursed.
“Thanks,” She whispered quietly.
She heard Devon sigh, “So when are you going to let me in?”
Charlie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What?” She asked.
There was a soft knock on her window, Charlie jumped and swiveled in the direction of the noise. She shot out of bed when she saw Dev sitting carefully on the edge of her windowsill. She walked over and opened it for him, she watched silently as Devon expertly climbed in, not stumbling or loosing his balance.
Devon closed the window after himself and then looked slowly to his girlfriend. In a rush he felt the feelings he had when he first asked her to be his, every nerve in his body running on high wire, his stomach almost queasy with the need to have her. Silently he lifted his hand, running it gently through her hair, resting it lightly on her neck and pulling their heads together pressing his lips against hers slowly. He let out a small sigh, he couldn’t help it, but every time they kissed he was in heaven. He paused waiting for Charlie to move away, when she didn’t he added pressure moving his lips against hers.
Charlie didn’t know what she was doing; she didn’t seem to register what was really happening. Her brain was foggy and her body was tired, she easily relaxed into Dev’s touch, letting him keep her standing, letting him hold onto her and deepen the kiss that she knew, by the passion he was putting forth, he loved so much. Her mind was in a completely different world. She barely noticed Devon beginning to take her clothes off gently, or when he began touching her most private parts. Her mind finally cleared up when Devon had begun slowly thrusting himself into her, careful not to cause her too much pain, but Charlie had already begun to feel it.
Charlie gasped out, digging her nails into Devon’s shoulder. Dev grunted thrusting himself deeper, making Charlie cry out in pain, which he mistook for pleasure. Her eyes stinging with tears Charlie watched, her vision blurred, as Devon’s face contorted into a look of pure bliss.
“Devon…” Charlie whimpered out. Devon nodded absently, his speed increasing.
“Almost there baby girl, almost…” The rest of Devon’s sentence was lost in a loud groan before he tensed, his toes curling and he bit down hard onto his bottom lip not allowing a loud moan to escape. Then he collapsed next to Charlie, his body sticky with sweat as he reached over and pulled her nude body against his own.
Charlie bit the inside of her cheek, pounding back the urge to sob her heart out. She had just let Devon take her virginity. She didn’t know why she hadn’t stopped him; it hurt her, not just physically but emotionally too. She felt empty, she felt like if she hadn’t let Devon have sex with her, he would have broken up with her leaving her even more alone then she would have ever been before. The worst part of the whole thing was that she didn’t even feel the pleasure.
“I love you,” Devon whispered kissing along the side of her neck lovingly.
Charlie softly put her hand against Dev’s tanned pectoral, feeling his soft, velvety skin, slowly trailing her hand down his muscled chest, her eyes meeting his manhood. Her eyes widened at his size, she marveled how he managed to even fit.
“Dev?” Charlie said slowly as she continually stared at him.
Devon noticed where her gaze was and blushed; he squirmed uncomfortably, “Yeah?”
Charlie let out a sigh, her insecurities starting to take a hold of her mind, “Did you… enjoy it?” She asked hesitantly, looking up into his soft brown eyes.
Devon smiled before leaning in and brushing his lips against hers, “It was amazing,” He whispered against her lips. Charlie gave a weak smile and lay still as Devon pulled the blankets up around them, snuggling her close into his side.
Charlie’s eyes closed, her body was aching and her head was throbbing, she just wanted to disappear for a while. She was still slightly hung over and after having sex… she needed to sleep. Her brain slowly began to remember the last time she had fallen asleep, the last person she fell asleep with. She sighed and curled into the heat radiating off of Dev’s chest, pretending that he was Mikey.
That was when guilt started to fill Charlie’s chest. She had just had sex with Devon! She had lost her purity, her virginity, and the thing that left her innocent! Her eyes shot open and she sat straight up in bed, the soft blanket falling off her body and revealing her bare chest. She didn’t care. She was no longer a child. And here she was in the supposed ‘afterglow’ of it all, pretending that her boyfriend was someone else. She had a sudden urge to go to a church, to be rid of all her sins.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Devon asked sleepily his hand rubbing her bare back gently. Charlie fought to stay still, to keep her body’s instinct from scrambling away.
“D-Devon… we just…” Her words were lost, reality crashing down on her.
“We just had sex?” Devon asked as he sat up next to her, putting an arm around her waist and kissing her shoulder gently.
A knot had formed in her throat; she didn’t know how to speak anymore. Charlie just nodded. Devon nipped her shoulder lightly, causing Charlie to jump violently.
“Whoa, Charlie, it’s all right,” Devon murmured soothingly. Charlie took a shaky breath; it was definitely not all right.
“Devon,” Charlie said slowly, Dev nodded busying himself with kissing up her shoulder to her collarbone, then her neck, “Please tell me you had a condom.”
Devon froze, his heart beginning to hammer against his chest. As much as he wouldn’t mind being the father of Charlie’s child, he couldn’t be a father this young. He wished he could have told Charlie that he did have protection, but with all honesty, he didn’t.
“Charlie, baby, I am so sorry.”
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thank you for all of those who do rate and review i love you and your reviews make me smile every time. ALSO Team Devon or Team Mikey? Let's make that a trendy topic on Twitter shall we? Lemme know who y'all are rooting for! OH and my twitter? yeah you can find me at Mo_Was_Here or by my email. If you want to follow me just review and ask for my email address or i can put a link right.... THERE > http://twitter.com/Mo_Was_Here and you can do your thang! lmfao i'm really hyper right now because i just got back from spending time with my own personal boyfriend (yes believe it or not i have found someone who likes me for me :P) so yeah! LURVE Y'ALL!