Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Life is but a Dream for the Dead


by NotesFromPaige 4 reviews


Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres:  - Published: 2010-06-23 - Updated: 2010-06-23 - 3157 words - Complete

Caro’s POV

Summer was my favorite time of the year. I could do whatever the hell I wanted to, and nobody ever asked questions. I got to do whatever I wanted with all the privacy I wanted, because there were only two people that gave a shit about me: William and Dave and they were both too overly trusting.
Me and William became closer and close, as if sex started to mean something. I grew to love him, and be okay with it. It didn’t feel as poisonous and heartless. I was in love with my own sin.
I laid against William’s bare chest, fiddling with the covers. William played with my hair as we chatted, looking out the window to see the beautiful Chicago skyline. That night William’s band had a show in the city and we just spent the night in a hotel. It was one of the more beautiful moments of my life.
“Caro?” I heard his voice call, as sweet as candy.
“Yes, my love?” I looked up and him and smiled.
“What do you dream about after nights like this?” He asked, his was bright was insightful.
I dream about death of my friends, torture, and hell.
“Oh you know, the usual.” I said, hoping my usual wasn’t his usual too.
“So this doesn’t mean anything to you?” He said with his puppy dog face.
“Oh shush up, its not that easy to control your dreams.” I smirked, playing with his fingers.
“Well I’m sure you could if you really wanted to.” He smiled his crooked smiled that always made me melt. (I’m just going to interrupt this story and just say that our guitarist whose name just happens to be kyle [I have a thing for kyles] is just a really good looking person, was talking to me once, and he crooked smiled and I almost squealed, I’m just saying, I had a flashback writing this and I was like lol remember during bio when I was talking to him and crooked smiled then I got the mental image and started reminiscing and then I got a boner and it was gr8)
“Oh, really?” He arched an eyebrow, like that bitch knew my life, please.
“Yes really.” I said, with a slightly British accent.
“Have you tried?” He sat up against the wall, looking down upon me.
“No, but I assume its not easy.” I sat up against the wall with me, my bare breast out in the open. Just chillin’.
“Well, remind me one day to teach you.” He smiled, lifting my chin and kissing my lips.
“Will do.” I said, hopping out of bed, grabbing the robe on the chair. I walked over to the table where my phone was placed.
I had 6 new texts:
David: wher r u?
David: no srsly i havnt hurd frum u in 3 days
David: i would realy lyk 2 kno ur whereabuts
David: i can haz a surpr1s3
David: call me wen u get these texts
David: i luv u

“Oh Lord.” I mumbled, as I picked up my phone and dialed a familiar number.
“Hey gorgeous.” I heard the smile in his voice.
“Hi, what’s up hon?” I saw William’s frown from the corner of my eye.
“Nothing, where are you?” He asked, I froze.
“I’m in the city with William and his band, chillin’ out.” I said, hoping he wouldn’t be too into details.
“Why are you in the city?” I could hear the curiosity lace his voice.
“William’s band played a show and a bunch of kids rented a huge penthouse and we’re all chillin’ here.” Loljk it was just a naked Bill Beckett and me alone in a Holiday Inn.
“Cool cool…” I wasn’t sure whether he was buying it or just didn’t know what to say.
“So you said you had a surprise for me?” I changed the subject.
“Oh yeah, I do! I gotta show it to you when you get back in town!” He said excitedly, totally dropping the whole William discussion.
“Alright, what is it?” I tried to put on my most interested voice, while I made faces at William for making faces at my being on the phone with David.
“I can’t tell you, you’ll have to see for yourself.” He laughed, I could only imagine what that boy could do.
“Well, I’m coming back home tonight, can I come over and see it?” I asked semi-seductively.
“Of course you can.” He chuckled darkly, giving me gooosebumps.
“Well, I’ll see you later tonight then.” I said, even though the last thing I wanted to do at this point was fuck, honestly, there had been too much vagina action for my liking this week. I mean, it’s great and all, but I feel like I need a break, there’s only so much I can handle.
“Alright, love you baby.” He said with obvious joy.
“Love you too, bye.” I said half-heartedly.
“And the David mister gets sloppy seconds.” William walked over to me with a towel around his waste, smirking evilly.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with him?” I sighed, this was actually becoming a semi-hard decision.
“Oh, and I starting to catch up with ol’ Medildo?” He smirked proudly.
“This is just a lot to handle. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I sat down, feeling beat by the world.
“Well just know, that whatever you do, I’ll be behind 100%. I may not like it, but just know, I respect your choice.” Bill looked into my eyes, holding my hand.
“Thank you baby.” I sighed, kissing his hand.

It was a 30-minute drive from the city until we got back to Barrington. I stopped back my house, washing all the scent of booze, drugs, sweat, sex and William Beckett, then straight to Dave’s place.
I arrived at his door, ridiculously tired. I had barely gotten any sleep that night, but I had my good share of monsters, so hopefully that would eventually kick in.
“Hey beautiful.” He pulled me in for a deep kiss, almost leaving me breathless.
“Hi there.” I smiled. I really did have feelings for Dave, I really did love him. It was hard not to keep William in mind though. William was also the better kisser.
“Come in.” He took my hand as he led me through his fancy-shmancy house to his kitchen where there were homemade cookies on a plan.
“Have one, I made them for you.” He smiled, gesturing to the cookies.
“I thought you couldn’t cook.” I smirked, grabbing an oatmeal cooking and biting into it. It was surprising quite tasty.
“Well, grandma was over and I asked her to help me bake, and she did.” He blushed, rubbing the back his neck. William would never do something like that.
“You’re so cute.” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck, pecking his lips.
“I am. Hey, what’s that on your neck?” He asked, distracted by the huge ass hickey on my neck. I froze, my lying wheels in motion.
“Oh, you know, a hickey.” I said, shrugging.
“Ummm. Is there something I should know?” He detangled him from me, looking me up and down.
“No, what’s wrong?” I asked, playing innocent.
“Who the fuck gave you that?” He asked, starting to get pissed off.
“You did?” Formulating enough stories to fill a children’s book.
“The last time we say each other was at least 4 days ago, there’s no way that could be from me.” He started yelling, his face turned red.
“Okay, the last time we saw each other was 3 days ago, calm down. David, who else is going to make out with me? I didn’t go to a single party, and William was too busy having sex with one of the roadies. Fuck, you know how sensitive my skin is, and that spot is the most abused spot on my neck, it holds hickeys longer than anywhere else on my body, common, I thought you’d know that.” I said defensively, I had really out did myself.
I saw his face cool down, I had won.
“I’m sorry, some times I just get so paranoid that you’re with other guys. I know you’d never do that to me, but part of me is always so scared, and I don’t know.” He said, running his hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact.
“Why would you say that?” I asked, this was starting to get fun.
“Look at yourself Caro! Who wouldn’t want to do you, and I know exactly the power you behold and I don’t know. I’m sorry I even asked.” I smiled, I had heard exactly what I wanted to hear.
“Its okay baby, I forgive you.” I wrapped my arms around his waste and he held me. This moment would be so perfect if it actually meant something to both of us.
“I’m so glad I can trust you.” He whispered into my ear. My heart fell into my stomach. I honestly loved David. I did, but he would never fully satisfy me. I needed that rough, passionate, wrong love that William gave me, that made me want more. David gave me everything else, what I really needed, the kind, the gentle, the peaceful side; The side that everybody wanted. I wanted it too, but maybe not as much.
“I’m glad I can trust you too.” I whispered back, tickling his ear. I was glad I could trust him, I know he’d never be as selfish and me.

We stalked up to his room where he’d show me ‘the surprise’.
I sat on his bed, as he walked over to his bathroom. I didn’t hear anything. He came back out, with nothing in his hands, he looked completely the same.
“What is it?” I asked, looking at his pockets.
“You’ll see.” He placed his neck on the back of my neck and kissed me with the same amount of intensity as earlier today at his doorstep. I massaged the insides of his mouth, holding onto the collar of his flannel shirt. He started unbuttoning his shirt, adjusting himself. He threw off his shirt, and laid back onto his bed so that I was on top of him. It was the same old game, I’d kiss his mouth and work my way down to his neck, down to his chest. Something was different though. I pulled way, and studied his chest.
Above his left peck was “Carolyn” tattooed in script.
My jaw dropped, and I ran my fingers across his chest. It definitely was not coming off any time soon. His face was in obvious amusement.
“What is this?” I asked him, still in shock.
“I got it done the other day.” He smiled, stroking his cheek.
“I don’t even know what to say.” I said, my eyes probably the size of the moon.
“I don’t think there’s much to say.”
“David, I can’t even. This is so sweet, I’m so honored.” I started getting emotional, tears starting to form.
“Oh, don’t cry baby.” He chuckled, sitting up.
“I love you so much.” I said, composing myself.
“Don’t you know how much I love you though? I mean, I have the tattoo to prove it.” David smiled bright enough to bring punk back to life.
“You’re so sweet. I can’t believe you.” Right then and there, I had made my decision.

I knew I had to make things right. I couldn’t keep doing this to me and William, I had to let go.
William had texted, called, facebooked, paged, me, rang my doorbell. I refused to answer. Maybe me avoiding him would get the point across.
“pls. just send reply to this, i need 2 kno ur ok, and alive.”
I flipped open my phone: ‘william, we can’t do this. i can’t do this. we’re not really in love. i don’t love you. i don’t want anything to do with you. just forget about us. he won.’ As much as it killed me to do it, I had to. It was for our own good.

I threw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. David and I were going on a road trip to look at colleges. He arrived at my door, I said by to my parents, and headed out.
“This is going to be fun, huh buttercup?” He laughed, hopefully as sarcastic as I hoped he was.
“Oh loads and loads.” I rolled my eyes, looking at the large map in front of me.
“We should play a game!” He suggested, I’ve been in enough touring vans, car games didn’t exactly work out.
“How about no.” I looked over at him, his bright Italiano face lighting up the world.
“Common! Lets play some ‘I spy’!” He smiled a wide cheesy smile, something I couldn’t say no to.
“Fine.” I glowered at him.
“I spy with my little eye, something gorgeous, stunning, out of this world.” He said, looking out at the road.
“The sky?” I guessed, the perfect blue blanket was just the cherry on top of this whole car ride.
“No,” he looked my way, “you.”
“Oh my god, new game, you cheese ball.” I laughed, smacking his arm.
Our first stop was in a motel 8 in Detriot. I felt like we were going to get mugged. It had been a ridiculously long day, I crashed on the bed and fell right to sleep.

It was a familiar room, with a familiar person. He sat at a desk, writing something. After he finished writing whatever it was, he put the pen down, and ripped out the paper, putting it into the leather jacket he was wearing. He walked over to his closet where he threw all the hanging clothes on the rack on the ground carelessly. He moved to stool, over to inside the closet, where he pulled out something and tied it arou-

I woke up sweating harder than I’ve ever sweated in my life.
“DAVID, WE HAVE TO GO!” I yelled, scaring him so bad he jumped.
“What?!” He asked sleepily.
“Get your stuff, we’re leaving, we have to get back home right now, I’m driving.” David sleepily alerted, grabbed his belongings, and collapsed in the back seat of the car. A trip that took us 3 hours to make, would now take us 1 hour, considering we were taking no pit stops, and I was driving 20 miles over the sleep limit.
David asked the occasional question, but he was so tired, he barely made a peep.
As soon as we made it into Barrington, my heart started pounding harder than it had earlier.
I sped through the empty city streets into a familiar neighborhood until I had found the house. I parked the car on the sidewalk, and sprinted inside the unlocked door. I started becoming hysterical, as this had looked exactly like it did in my dream. I ran up the stairs and sprinted into the room of William Beckett.
“William?” I whimpered as I slowly entered the room.
Music was playing, a song that his band had released called ‘Everything We Had.” A song I knew was written about me.
I took a deep breath, and turned the corner, knowing what I’d find.
William Beckett hung from his closet rail like a ragdoll. His face was pale, and there was a distinct red ring around his neck. I got weak in my knees and collapsed. I banged my head against the wall. Make this go away. Make this go away. My tears flooded my eyelids, like a flash flood. I laid there for ten minutes, yelling, praying for him to come back. I remembered the note in his jacket pocket. I stood up; I couldn’t look at his beautiful, cold face. I ripped open his pocket and read the note entitled ‘Caro’.

Dear Carolyn Nicole Martinez,
I know you’ll be the first person to find me, and I felt like you deserved a note for doing so. Congratulations. I’m sorry it had to end like this. Carolyn, I have never/will ever love anybody more than I will ever fucking love you. You were my life, and when you made your decision, there wasn’t much more to me. I was just dead weight, suffering through life. I respect your choice; he’s a great guy. Please darling, don’t feel bad. It was better and healthier this way. I just want you to be happy, and since you chose to be happy without me, I decided this is what I must do. This is where our relationship must end. I will never forget our moments together. You are the most fucking beautiful person I’ve ever met in my life, and I mean that. I’m sad I never got a chance to, but I’d take a bullet for you. That was my original way to go, but it seems like Pete got the best of the bullet. Tehe. This is plan B, I suppose. I hope you don’t forget me. I know your boy will take care of you. Please, don’t blame this on you. It was going to happen at some point, it was supposed to happen freshman year, remember? Well, its been fun Caro. I hope we meet again.
Love always,
William ‘Rebecca’ Beckett
P.S. I’m sorry I never taught you how to control your dreams

I heard the song again in the background.
“Take the pain out of love then love won’t exist”

Death: 6
Caro: 0

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Who knows, anything could happen at this point ;)
Its been a long night
I ate hot fries, cosmic brownies and cream soda
I may throw up
Happy days
I’m going to go eat breakfast with mom now at mimi’s
Happy trails
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