Categories > Original > Humor > The Book of Hondo

1st Dudes 7

by shadesmaclean 0 reviews

the Legendary Super Squirrel

Category: Humor - Rating: R - Genres: Fantasy,Humor - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2010-10-11 - Updated: 2010-10-11 - 347 words - Complete

And on the other side of the Spooky Door, the Technomage didst confront them.

‘Scoot the Ko’An, thy reputation doth precede thee,’ quoth the Technomage. ‘Join me, and together we shall be unstoppable!’

‘Please do me a favor,’ quoth Scoot. ‘Go thee unto Hell and shove a red-hot pitchfork up thine ass! We are come to make thee call off thy Holo-Demon.’

‘Or don’t join me, and perish,’ quoth the Technomage. ‘I call upon my not-so-geeky older brother to defend me. Spring forth, my burly protector!’

And a hulking figure of a man didst spring forth, flexing his muscles and slamming his fists together.

‘He’s not so tough,’ quoth Casey. ‘I shall smite him with one blow!’

‘And for thee, Scoot,’ quoth the Technomage, ‘I shall summon up my most powerful familiar spirit to battle.’

And the Technomage didst call forth a squirrel, which was burning with power.

‘Holy shit!’ cried Nori, ‘That is no ordinary squirrel! ’Tis a… a… Super Squirrel! Watch out, Scoot, for that’s one badass motherfucker!’

‘Fuck the bullshit!’ cried Scoot as he didst power up, ‘ ’Tis time to throw down!’

And Pud didst run and hide, and Myles the Unbeliever didst refuse to believe, and Jennifer didst watch, praying that the Gods of Hondo wouldst help them in this desperate hour.

And it came to pass that Casey didst attack the Technomage’s older brother, who didst pound him into the ground.

And Scoot didst beat the shit out of the Super Squirrel. ’Twas an awesome fight, but Scoot didst prevail with great kung-fu action.

He then gave Casey a much-needed healing potion, which doth heal wounds and restoreth thy strength.

‘Thanks!’ quoth Casey.

‘Casey!’ quoth Nori, ‘Use a pin to deflate his ego, dumbass!’

And Casey didst use a pin on the Technomage’s older brother, and it didst deflate more than just his ego.

‘Ha!’ laughed Casey, ‘Dost thou think thou canst still win! Thou shrinketh like a sheep!’

And without his inflated ego, the Technomage’s older brother was no match for Casey’s might.
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