Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > If I crash on the couch, can I sleep in my clothes?5 Reviews
Gerard invites Frank to his house. What will happen?
(#) AnotherKnifeInMyHand 2011-04-24 10:03:59 AMahhh a cliffhanger how dare you!!! update soon please :D
Author's responseHaha, sorry :P I like cliffhangers, they make you think. I will update soon but I have homework and everything so you might have to wait until tomorrow night or something. Thank you for your review. They keep me entertained and motivated :)
- Awwwwwww! Cliffhanger! I love this story. The only thing I can suggest is longer chapters if you can. But instill really like this story.
Author's responseI try and make the chapters longer but it takes me forever to write them and I think they are quite long when I am writing it but it turns out they arn't that long. I will try and make the chapters longer but it is quite hard :P Thank you for reviewing :)
(#) perfectzombie 2011-04-24 01:13:41 PMahhh update soon!:D
Author's responseI will. Tomorrow at some point. I have to finish writing up my history homework and then I will write the next chapter and update it :D
(#) fueledbyPanic 2011-04-24 02:43:18 PMAgh I have a feeling something's up with his mom...
Author's responseHehe, I have a feeling you're right :P
(#) Kid_Vicous 2011-04-25 12:22:59 PMSo, Frank's got a crazy mum? Well that's going to heat things up. I like how you instilled a little bit of mystery in there by not elaborating too much. Also, I really liked the "He said my lip ring looked cute. And then blushed furiously." That was really sweet and very realistic interplay.
One thing, there's a line at the beggining that says "I didn't know what all his classes were...yet" or something along those lines. First off, dot dot dots are usually used to instill suspense, tension, hesitancy etc. When you put it at the end of a sentence like that it sounds really ominous and makes Gerard sound a little like a creepy stalker. Maybe it's just me because I'm weirdly pedantic like that but it was just something I noticed.
I also saw that you went back and made my corrections. Good going! The other chapters are so much easier to read now. Nice work.
Author's responseI have just realised that Gerard did sound abit creepy there :/ Thank you for pointing that out. I am very tired right now so I am gonna go to bed. I have school in the morning so you should get an update by tomorrow :)