The morning light would be my night
I leaned on the balcony and sighed. Nobody had left their rooms in the last couple of hours. Luckily enough, my room had this lovely balcony so I wouldn't feel all stuffed up in a room, brooding over the same thoughts over and over again. Arms suddenly wrapped around me. I looked over my shoulder to see Alisha
"Hello there, 'someone who is close to me,'" I laughed, quoting her. Alisha rolled her eyes and kissed my cheek.
"I didn't want them to steer the importance of the conversation away because of my personal relationships." She explained easily and let go of me. She approached the edge of the balcony and leaned on it, next to me.
"I was wondering when you were going to tell them the truth about Casadee. To be honest, I didn't think it would be so soon. You tend to keep people in the dark Bob." She chided lightly. I allowed a small laugh to escape my lips in response as I stared out at the dark night sky. This was my day and when the sun would rise, that would be my night.
"You're worried," she commented. I nodded. No reason to lie.
"They are all panicked right now and they don't even know how much more terrifying this is. Casadee is more deadly than they could ever realize. She's not just some crazy vampire she is..."
"Wicked smart?" Alisha offered. I nodded again.
"And then there is Beckett. I already know that he realized the same possibility. Hence trying to avoid kiling me. Though one thing about this whole mess worries me. Why is he fixated on Lily as well? She hasn't even made enough big kills to start getting really well known yet. She may have a bit of a name in New Jersey but that only lasts as far as those borders. He knows something we don't know and it frightens me. We could be five steps behind him for all I know." I sighed angrily. Alisha placed her head on my shoulder.
"Don't let this get to you too much. If you spend all of your time thinking of the unknown then you'll overlook what you do know. I know it's strange to think of me as serious and thinking of more than your mom jokes, but I have considered this for awhile myself. If Beckett knew enough to go through with anything, he would have turned you and Lily with or without your consent. He wouldn't beat around the bush or hesitate with something this big." Alisha assured quietly and her eyes shifted to look at my face. I could feel them scanning it for any kind of relief from her words but I wouldn't let any come.
"That's another thing that scares me. He could have planned for our escape. He knew Gerard would come in the end. If he didn't want Gerard to get Lily, he could have had any number of Dandies he wanted standing guard at her door. Hell, he could of had ten of them waiting inside her room. He didn't even guard my own door. I think he wanted us to get away. He is going to do something and I don't know what. Alisha, this is so immensely bad. I'm terrified and I need to think of something to get us out of here. It's my job." I said in a shaky breath. Alisha lifted her head from my shoulder, placed a hand on my face, and shook her head.
"No, no, no. Bob, you don't have to do everything alone. You and Lily have the same problem with this. You two always think you have to face everything and think of everything for everyone. You guys aren't alone in the dark. You two want to protect everyone all the time but sometimes you have to realize that we can fight too. Bob, you don't have to force yourself to be some mighty miracle worker. You don't have to be anything more or less than yourself." Alisha whispered quietly. I stared at her in silent awe. She was so kind and understanding of me, the urge to reach out and touch her just to be sure she was real came over me. Instead though, I nodded absentmindedly and pressesd a kiss on her lips.
"Thank you. You are amazing." I breathed feeling grateful to have ever met such a wonderful girl. She grinned.
"Hopefully that means when this mess is over, you'll let us publicize our relationship because honestly, sneaking about and only being allowed to really be with you when everyone else is gone kinda sucks balls." She complained and made a face. I laughed and nodded in agreement. It does suck.
"I think I'm going to go grab something to eat from the kitchen before the sun comes up. Are you hungry?" She asked as she appeared by the door to our room.
"No, I'm alright. You go have your fill." I said with a smile. She nodded her head and smiled back. Then, she strolled out of the room. I sighed and looked to sky. It was becoming lighter with the daylight hours approaching. By now all the little vampire monster boys and all the little vampire monster girls would be tucked in their coffins with dreams of genocide dancing through their heads.
"What morbid thought," I said to myself.
"I don't doubt it. You are quite the pessimist Mr. Wilson. I wouldn't be surprised if you told me you had once considered suicide." A voice I had been dreading teased from behind me. I kept my face in a calm mask.
"Maybe you just think too little of me, Beckett." I challenged, keeping my eyes on the horizon. If I could keep him here until daylight, perhaps like nosferatu, he'll burn to nothing but angry ash.
"I doubt that Bob. I don't belittle you in the least. In fact, I think quite highly of you. You are such an enduring human. I beat you within an inch of your life, threaten your friends, and torture you endlessly, yet you still refuse my gift." Beckett countered.
"Just trying to get the point of "no" across," I grinned. Beckett stepped beside me and looked over the balcony railing.
"Are you afraid Bob? I bet you are. No, I know you are. Your words to your lover back there don't even describe the fear you are experiencing. You are right to be that utterly horrified, because you know what's going to happen and you know what the world can become. So much more than they do. However, I think you are scared the most over one little idea." Beckett proclaimed with malice dripping from his words. I watched the lightening sky.
"What would that be?" I questioned, not faltering. From the corner of my eyes I could see a large grin spread across Beckett's face. He leaned in close to my face.
"You are most completely terrified that you'll be the one that sets it all into motion, and you are right to be so scared. You won't be like the other vampires Bob Bryar. You won't be a good one like Pete, and you won't even be the kind that can escape the welcoming arms of bloodlust like the Romance boys are. No, you'll be the kind that people write stories about. The kind that murders people endlessly and paints cities a sickening red with it's own resident's blood. You'll be the kind that drinks deeply and hungers greedily for death." Beckett whispered. The words imprinted themselves into my mind. My eyes bounced from the sky and looked to Beckett's own.
"You-how do you know?" I demanded weakly. His eyes burned into my own with their sick understanding of the world and addictive glow.
"You know, and that's all that matters. Isn't it? My knowledge of the world is great, you can tell that as well. You are gifted Bob. Your gifts just happen to be on the wrong side of things however. You were meant to be a prince of murder, not the savior of light that you wish to be. You don't get some fairytale ending that you crave. You view the world from a real point of view and I respect that about you Bob. You know you can't leave your head in the clouds. The only human destined for a darkness more sinful than your own is your foolish friend Lillian. You however, know that you are chained to this path, shackled to the cursed ground that your soul was always destined for." Beckett finished with a final smirk. I blinked once. He was gone. I sucked in a queasy breath. A pounding in my head began. A gross dizziness blurred my vision and shook the ground around me. I leaned over the balcony and suddenly felt my stomach contents come through me. I allowed myself to throw up. Weak tears streamed down my face until I was finished. Then, I slumped onto the balcony floor.
I rested my head on the cold cement. Allowing for it to alieviate some of my throbbing head's pain. Thoughts circled my head, swooping in and out, whispering ideas of a twisted salvation. The way to save my friends. The way to save the world.
I gripped the balcony railing with my hands. I thrusted myself up on shaky legs. I began to lean myself over the rail. The ground seemed to be so blurry and far away.
"I don't want to be the one. Alisha, I don't want to be the one. I love you." I whispered as I leaned all the way over the railing. I felt my feet lift from the ground and my body swing over the balcony. The wind whipped my skin as I went. A thud welcomed my ears as I sunk into a warm unconsciousness. Just before it took me, I looked to the sky. The sun had risen and for one last time, the morning light would be night.
Well what do you guys think? :) Very eager to hear your feedback. I will update tomorrow before I leave.
Right now I’m in desperate need of sleep.
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