I just want to thank you all or reading and reveiwing, it has meant a lot to me. I honestly didn't think this story would have gotten so many readers, even though there are only a few of you, it seems like a lot to me. Thank you all for sticking with me through this story, all the way up to where we are now. It makes me smile, even though with all the stuff going on with my health and stuff, you guys all make me smile through the whole depressing state of it all and I thank you very much for it all. THANK YOU.
Oh god, I made it sound like it's the end, and I assure you it is not. There's still more to come, but I know it will end one day... even though I don't really want it too.
Well, enjoy it lovely readers, if I could give you some sort of gift to say thank you again I would, but all I can send you all is my love and thanks. :) Enjoy this update.
It was a no go to the hospital today, Mikey asked me not to go because he needed to talk to Gerard himself. Brother to brother, which would have meant lots of yelling and tears and lots of hugs. Sometimes I wish I had a brother to care for me, seen no one really else does...
Mum has written a few more letters, telling me that she's going to be out sometime next month because of how quick she's recovering. I'm totally and honestly proud of her, I mean, I never asked her to go into this rehab, I never asked her to get better, she's done this on her own account which hopefully means she won't go back on it. The only thing I'm afraid of is when she's sober, she's going to care about me and then she's gong to notice bruises and cuts when I come home, the tears and emotions I try to keep away. Is it going to be worse?
Sorry. Well, I don't know why I'm apologising actually seen as you pretty much don't have feelings. You are a book after all... But anyway. The apologie was for my absense just then, I had a phonecall from Mikey and he sounded pretty happy now after his talk, even if his voice was still all watery from crying and his nose was still running. He told me the reason why Gerard did it (in which I already know) and he told me that he was sorry for everything he has done towards me (which I also knew) but then Mikey mention the kiss I gave Gerard. I admit I panicked and almost hung up the phone, wanted to dive under the covers on my bed and just hide away from the Way brothers for ever, but then I realized, if he was pissed about the kiss he would have said about that straight off and yelled, not save it till last. So I stayed on the phone, he told me that it was alright I had a thing for his brother because his brother, Gerard, has a thing for me too. I almost died when he said that. Then he told me he was smiling like a lunatic in a padded room when he walked in, then when he was telling him all about the kiss and the days I had spent at the hospital with him, Mikey ordered-That's right, not asked ordered me to visit him a lot and make him happy because that's what he needs. He needs me and to be honest, I'm glad.
Frank, 14 of December.
Note: HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD GERARD HAS A "THING" FOR ME OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!
I went to the hospital today to see Gerard! And when I did, he told me to come over to him as soon as I was in the doorway. I couldn't refuse, so I did, and he wrapped his arms around me almost instantly. I'm never going to say I didn't enjoy that first hug today because if I said I didn't, everyone would know I was lying. I would have the biggest smile on my face as I say "I had no feeling for that hug and I did not enjoy it one bit". My smile would be a dead give away.
So once I was there, we talked more and he told me he won't be out before Christmas, which kind of sucks. The doctors said they want to keep him in there to monitor him so make sure he doesn't do something like this again and also to see if he has depression. They've taken him off the drip now, and when they took it out while I was there he had grabbed my hand so hard I almost couldn't feel it and he stared at me with such fear in his eyes my heart hurt. He looked so scared of the needle they took out of his arm that I held his hand in both of my and told him that nothing was going to hurt him while I'm around, not even a needle. He still didn't relax, but he smiled and that was good enough for me. His smile makes me feel better.
He held my hand for pretty much the whole time I was there. From when I stood by him with the IV needle out of his arm to when we were just sitting there quietly talking at around 11:30 PM. I didn't even notice the time, but because a nurse hadn't come to take me out, I thought that maybe time was just going slowly, but no, like I had dreaded the whole day I was there, a nurse came in and told me it was time to leave and that it was almost midnight. That shocked both Gerard and me. So I said goodbye to him, gave him a small kiss and hug and left after a wave from the door. I wish I could have stayed though...
I can still feel his lips on mine right now... Shit I hope he really does like me. I can't handle another heart break, I need him as much as Mikey said he needs me. He means a lot to me for some strange reason... Well, night Diary...
Frank, 15 December.
Note: Hugs and kisses... Hugs and kisses... I hope my lips are the ones he misses.