Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Why?
At Night I Pray, That Soon Your Face Will Fade Away
2 reviewsLeda's breaking, will this kill her?
0Unrated
I feel like complete and utter shit, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't even sum up enough energy to get out of my room. Everyone's given up calling me, I don't wanna talk. I haven't even opened the front door for the endless door bell tries.
I just don't understand how a person can just wake up one day and stop loving someone.
He's heartless, he's an asshole, he's a jerk, and yet, I still love him. No! I can't. I shouldn't. But I do.
I manage to drag myself to the bathroom. Where I rummage through the cabinet till I find what I'm looking for, my trusty pocket knife. The one thing that just couldn't be avoided much longer, it's not like Gerard would give a shit anymore. So there was nothing holding me back. Without a moment of hesitation I gently prick myself with the sharpest part of the blade. I feel the familiar warm sensation start to grow in the pit of my stomach. The blade drags across my arm 10....14.....17.... 20 times. I smile in complete ecstasy. Then I quickly start another bloody design on my other arm. This time, I don't bother counting, I bask in the familiar high.
When I run out of arm room I drop the blade on the red stained tiles and lay, sprawled out on the floor with my eyes closed, dreaming of a world far away from here.
The world I dreamed of was perfect and I felt myself being sucked into this perfect world, sucked in so deep that I couldn't find a way out. I knew if I didn't go back, I would probably bleed to death. But this world was so beautiful that I couldn't find a reason to leave. Not one. But just before I lose myself completely I hear someone calling my name. I try to ignore it and go deeper into the perfect world but this voice is filled with so much love, that I can't bare to lose it. I choose to follow it out.
I'm back in my body, but I'm so cold I shiver uncontrollably. A warm pair of arms wrap around me and pull me off the cold floor and onto my warm bed. I wonder who it is, I try to open my eyes and move my limbs but everything's gone numb. As the stranger cleans my wounds, sleep takes over. And the pain goes away.
I just don't understand how a person can just wake up one day and stop loving someone.
He's heartless, he's an asshole, he's a jerk, and yet, I still love him. No! I can't. I shouldn't. But I do.
I manage to drag myself to the bathroom. Where I rummage through the cabinet till I find what I'm looking for, my trusty pocket knife. The one thing that just couldn't be avoided much longer, it's not like Gerard would give a shit anymore. So there was nothing holding me back. Without a moment of hesitation I gently prick myself with the sharpest part of the blade. I feel the familiar warm sensation start to grow in the pit of my stomach. The blade drags across my arm 10....14.....17.... 20 times. I smile in complete ecstasy. Then I quickly start another bloody design on my other arm. This time, I don't bother counting, I bask in the familiar high.
When I run out of arm room I drop the blade on the red stained tiles and lay, sprawled out on the floor with my eyes closed, dreaming of a world far away from here.
The world I dreamed of was perfect and I felt myself being sucked into this perfect world, sucked in so deep that I couldn't find a way out. I knew if I didn't go back, I would probably bleed to death. But this world was so beautiful that I couldn't find a reason to leave. Not one. But just before I lose myself completely I hear someone calling my name. I try to ignore it and go deeper into the perfect world but this voice is filled with so much love, that I can't bare to lose it. I choose to follow it out.
I'm back in my body, but I'm so cold I shiver uncontrollably. A warm pair of arms wrap around me and pull me off the cold floor and onto my warm bed. I wonder who it is, I try to open my eyes and move my limbs but everything's gone numb. As the stranger cleans my wounds, sleep takes over. And the pain goes away.
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