How are those rumors treating you?
Thursday morning came and I realized I had to work after school so I would be a little busy juggling school, homework and work but I did want to find a time at some point in the day to talk to Brendon. I had been thinking of him last night and it was getting in the way of my sleep.
As I opened my locker at school quite a few notes tumbled out and I picked them up, putting them in my bag. I didn't have the time to read them at the moment but I was curious as to who would be writing me notes. It wasn't something that typically happened.
After grabbing my book I headed off to class, meeting up with Lisa along the way. "Hey, hear the new rumors? What happened at the coffee shop?" She asked me, looking extremely curious and slightly disappointed that I hadn't told her.
I shrugged. "There was a scuffle." I said, trying to downplay it as much as possible.
"Well Alex's parents bailed him out of jail so he is here today and he seemed extremely angry at you. The word is that you set Alex up against Brendon." Lisa said as they sat in their seats.
"What?" I asked, confused. "I didn't want a fight at all. I wasn't setting anything up."
Then the teacher started talking and Lisa and I stopped talking but I got an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and just knew what the notes were about. As I pulled them out individually I read them, ignoring the teacher.
There were various notes to last me through the period and they all seemed to be hate mail revolving around the entire ordeal with Brendon. I was told that I was a slut using Brendon to get fame for myself and I was told that I would pay for causing any harm to Brendon. All of the notes followed the same pattern and by the end of the class period I felt hate radiating from multiple girls who were known to be big fans of Panic!
As I left the classroom I felt people staring at me. It left me with the creepiest sensation I have ever had to deal with. Lisa stuck by my side though. She really was a great friend. As I texted Brendon that I needed to talk to him Lisa talked about how this would all blow over eventually. I shook my head. "I just don't care anymore. It's so lame how I'm getting hate mail over something that didn't actually happen the way they think it did." I said, realizing that I did care despite how many times I said i didn't. I didn't really like to be hated. It wasn't pleasant at all.
Lisa sighed in apparent distaste and as I looked up I realized why. Alex was standing near his locker, watching us and as soon as we made eye contact he came over. "Lisa can I talk to Kacy alone?" He asked.
Lisa looked to me for direction and I shrugged. "It's fine. I'll see you in class later." And so she left.
"What do you want?" I asked Alex, not faking nice any longer when it came to him.
I could see his face starting to bruise but I felt no pity for him. There had been no reason at all for him to act like that and strike Brendon without Brendon having been aware of what was coming. It was a low move to pull.
Alex shrugged and looked in to my eyes as if searching for the words but they weren't hiding behind my eyelashes. "I think you need help." I told him.
Alex nodded. "That's what my parents said." He replied, lamely.
"Well I'm not sure what else to tell you then. It sounds like they covered it." I stated, uncomfortable with the situation. I wish he hadn't requested to speak with me if he had nothing to say.
"I wanted to apologize." Alex said, voice barely above a whisper. It seemed he didn't really want to apologize. I felt as if someone was making him. Probably his parents.
"For the fight or the rumors?" I asked, staring at him though he did his best to now avoid my gaze. He made me feel as if he were just waiting for me to make this easier on him.
"Both." He said, voice a little louder this time now that the word 'apology' had been thrown out by him. That seemed to be difficult for him.
I shrugged. "Save your apology but go ahead and tell your parents you at least tried. Then they'll just blame me like the entire school." And with that I walked away, leaving Alex standing by himself in the hallway and I was aware I probably left him happy having gotten that out of the way but it wasn't my aim to make his life harder.
Amid angry stares I sat down at my desk in class, having showed up late since I had wasted even more time on Alex listening to his fakely forced apology. Lisa shot me a look of curiosity but i didn't have time to tell her what had happened and frankly I didn't quite find it important either way.
Thankfully the teacher let it go and continued on with the lesson plan that I barely paid attention to. School was seeming less important by the day and it was unfortunate that it took me up until a month before graduation to realize that what I really should've been paying attention to was life outside of school.
I felt my phone vibrating and tried to open it without drawing the teachers attention. It was Brendon,- "I hate when you tell me we need to talk. It's like that stupid school keeps teaching you how to take a step back from where I've worked hard to get us."- Was his reply.
I rolled my eyes and responded, -"It's not bad. I just want to talk to you. I need to figure out when though. Maybe after work if you're free? I'm off at 10."- I texted back.
-"Its a date."- Was his reply.
I finished my assignment without much difficulty as the teacher had given us some time to work on it before the end of the period. He was one of the nicer teachers that realized we would graduate soon and didn't have much work left so he figured he would let us just get to it unlike the other teachers who decided to fill the rest of our time with boring, long, unrelated speeches on subjects we never covered and never were supposed to cover.
As I walked up to the teachers desk to hand it in I felt someone kick out at my ankle and I stumbled, tripping slowly in front of the entire class. Some girls clapped as the teacher stood and came to my aid. "Are you okay?" He asked.
I looked up at him and pushed away my feelings so that I wouldn't break down in front of the class. I already figured I'd be targeted but I was hoping they would keep it to paper, now I need to watch where I'm walking a little more closely than I usually would.
"I'm fine." I said, accepting his hand as he helped me up and took my assignment. The teacher looked around the class at the whispering girls and seemed to understand that something wasn't right. "You can leave early." He told me, "For turning in your assignment." He added, to make it seem a little less strange.
I nodded, "Thank you." I graciously accepted the ability to leave this classroom early. I didn't waste any time as I grabbed my bag, leaving the notes on the table since I had been looking at them earlier again while the teacher had been talking. I knew what they all said, there was no need for me to keep reading them.
As I left the classroom I watched my feet so that no one would trip me yet again and thankfully i made it out of the classroom without another fall but as I walked out the main doors for some fresh air my phone started vibrating and I noticed I had received a text from Lisa. "What was that all about?" She asked.
I closed my phone, not wanting to talk about it.
Instead I felt the need to talk to someone else so I dialed Brendon's number and waited as I heard it ring. I sighed deeply as I got voice mail but I waited for the beep and left a boring voice mail, I hadn't really been sure of what I wanted to say anyway. "Hey, it's just me. Wanted to say Hi I guess. See you tonight." Then I hung up and waited for class to end so that I could go to lunch and try to become invisible amongst the crowd. Today would be over eventually.