-"I'll fix you." Brendon whispered, dried tears relaxing on the surface of his skin.-
Brendon was sitting at the end of Kacy's bed, watching her paint her nails a bright pink color. It hadn't actually been Kacy's idea, her mother had left the nail polish before going home for the night. Brendon could just imagine the rant Kacy would've gone on had she still been in possession of her memory. He knew of her deep hatred of all things pink. It wasn't even that it was a bad color. Kacy had simply hated it because her mother had dressed her up in awful pink dresses until she was able to dress herself. Brendon remembered the night she had told him that story. They had paused scream to talk about classic horror plotlines and somehow gotten on to the subject of colors.
"Does the smell bother you?" Kacy asked, noticing Brendon's wrinkled nose as he thought but she didn't realize it wasn't the smell; it was the memories he was missing.
"Nah. It's looking pretty." Brendon commented, trying to focus on the moment at hand. At least now he knew that there was a possibility of building new memories with Kacy.
"I'm not sure I like it." Kacy admitted, "I kind of wish it wasn't so... bright."
Brendon laughed, "It is very bright." He agreed.
The room got quiet again. They had been trying desperately to make conversation since their friends and Kacy's mother had left but it just wasn't working. Brendon couldn't seem to focus and Kacy didn't know what to say.
"I hope you don't blame yourself." Kacy whispered, she had a feeling from the story told earlier that Brendon would.
Brendon sighed and looked away from Kacy, "You can't tell me not to." He said, voice hard but he couldn't bring himself to soften it. Not even for Kacy; not when it came to this subject.
"I can try." Kacy said, "It was a terrible thing Brendon but terrible things happen so that we can get over them not so that we can dwell on them."
Brendon looked up at Kacy with tears in his eyes. "But I stole your memories." he whispered, his voice rough with pain. "Those girls may have physically put you here but I was the cause." He stated, voicing the guilt he hadn't been able to voice to the others.
"Brendon..." Kacy started, sighing. "Do you regret being with me?" She asked, staring in to Brendon's eyes. "Because just today you told me you were in love with me but people in love don't regret meeting each other. They don't wreck themselves by feeling guilt over something so beautiful."
Brendon's lip trembled as Kacy reached out and took his hand in hers, holding on to it tightly. "What we have is beautiful. I don't know it very well but I know it's beautiful. I'm grateful to have you in my life. Those girls may have caused my memory loss but they can't take my love for you away. Please don't let them take your love for me away." Brendon's heart ached at those words. She thought she loved him but since he had planted the idea in her mind he would never know if she truly meant it.
Brendon leaned forward and hugged Kacy, pulling her in to his arms and as her fragile body fell against his he inhaled her scent. It was altered by the hospital but not completely gone. The tears from his eyes fell on to her hair and dripped down but neither of them moved as they held on to each other. "No one can take my love for you away." Brendon whispered.
Brendon was driving towards Spencer's since the guys' had been wanting to talk to him and Kacy had kicked him out of her hospital room, upset that he had been neglecting the rest of his life while waiting for her to wake up.
As he parked he felt the overwhelming urge to just leave seeing as how he had a good idea as to what his friends wanted to talk to him about. He was honestly surprised Kacy's mother had let him lie to her like that. Lisa he could understand a little more... She'd been rooting for Kacy and him to get together from the beginning.
Ryan, Jon and Spencer were all standing outside talking but they stopped as Brendon got out of his car. "Hey." He called over to them, smiling as he tried to make friendly before the fighting.
"This is messed up." Ryan said, ignoring the greeting.
"You can't expect us to keep your lie for you Brendon." Jon said, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stomping on it.
"It doesn't have to be a lie if you guys just let it be the truth." Brendon argued.
"You are aware of how fucked up that sounds, right?" Spencer asked. "You created a relationship based on what you want. Kacy had no input whatsoever and when you lied to her you took away her ability to choose for herself."
Brendon shrugged. "If she ends up being miserable with me then I'll let her go."
"No you won't." Jon said.
Ryan nodded, "You weren't able to before."
"She wasn't miserable before..." Brendon argued, "She was just playing hard to get but you guys don't get it... I was getting somewhere with her! I can't let this chance just get away from me."
"This isn't a chance Brendon." Jon said, "It's a lie."
Brendon shrugged, "I don't care anymore. If you tell Kacy the truth then it'll be you against me and I think I know who she'll choose."
"Do you really want to put her through that?" Spencer asked, seeing his friend in a new light. "That would be incredibly taxing for a person in her condition."
"I wouldn't be the one putting her through anything. That would be all on you guys." Brendon said, staring at them. "Give me the chance to make her happy."
"What makes you so sure that you're the one meant for her?" Ryan said.
"Because she's meant for me and that's usually how these things go." Brendon replied, turning back towards his car. "And now I need to get back to my girlfriend because she needs me and I'm definitely not backing out on this relationship."
"Wait..." Jon said, "What exactly do you expect to do when we go on tour?"
Brendon turned back towards his friends, "She is coming with." He said, as if it were the simplest explanation.
Ryan stared at him. "Have you even discussed this with her?"
Brendon shook his head. "Not yet, she's dealing with enough as it is."
"So you think it's a good idea to drag her away from her mother and best friend just so that you can keep her to yourself?" Spencer asked, dragging the sentence out just to make sure Brendon was aware of that fact that it sounded very selfish. "That might not be the healthiest thing for her."
"Well I think it's better than me just leaving her here." Brendon replied, wishing his friends would stop attacking him.
"I actually think some distance from her might do you some good." Ryan stated, worried about his friend.
Brendon glared at Ryan, "That's not an option." He informed them. "She either comes or I stay." And with that he went back to his car, realizing that he was being a lot harsher than he needed to be but he couldn't bare the thought of being without Kacy for the entire tour. In that timeframe anything could happen and Brendon couldn't let her fall in love with someone else. She was his.
Brendon was sitting in his chair, reading a magazine with a pillow behind his head shielding him from the hard wall. As he glanced up for the millionth time he realized that Kacy was still awake and staring at the wall in front of her.
"Are you having difficulty falling asleep?" Brendon asked, setting the magazine down for a second.
Kacy looked down and shrugged. "I really don't want to." She admitted.
"Why not?" Brendon asked.
"I'm afraid." Kacy stated, feeling foolish at admitting her fear.
"Of?" Brendon kept pressing.
Kacy turned and looked at Brendon and he noticed once again how sad she looked. Would she ever be okay? "I'm afraid of forgetting again." She said softly.
"Oh." Brendon said, remembering the doctors saying that could be a possibility.
Kacy nodded, "I don't want to start again and again every single day. I'm not sure I can survive that."
Brendon scooted the chair closer and laid his hand on her arm, gently stroking her skin to comfort her. "You can't stay awake forever." He said, finding it hard being unable to tell her everything would be okay. He had absolutely no idea if she would remember him tomorrow. The... Anterograde or whatever amnesia could kick in and make every day a battle for them but Brendon was willing to fight until the end for Kacy.
Kacy nodded and bit her lip, "I didn't expect to just stay awake forever. I'd get extremely cranky and then you'd probably force me to sleep." She said, teasingly.
Brendon nodded and laughed, "Probably. But as for now feel free to sleep. I won't let you forget Kacy." He whispered, knowing that he would remind her every single day of how much she meant to him if it came down to that.
Kacy smiled warmly, "At least I know you won't let me go." And with that she laid her head back and relaxed her eyes, letting herself drift off. Brendon watched her peaceful face as she breathed in and out, in and out. The sound was like a melody. It was the song of life and Kacy's life was Brendon's favorite song.
As Brendon looked down at Kacy's peaceful face he thought back to everything she had said and everything she had been through. It continued to tear at him and he wasn't sure just how much longer he would be able to last against the pressure of messing with her life. The guys were right in a way... He wasn't giving Kacy a fair chance but he wanted the upper hand on love this time around.
He would do absolutely anything to win Kacy's heart, he'd known that since the day she started playing hard to get but he never knew that lying would come in to play until the lie left his lips and now it was just too late.
He would make her happy somehow, he would drive her fears away and replace that dark lonely apprehensive spot where her memories used to be with new memories, better memories.
"I'll fix you." Brendon whispered, dried tears relaxing on the surface of his skin.