How does Bullet react? And what is up with Bob`s dream?
Bullets Embrace`s pov
My jaw drops as Kobra speaks, hiding behind a sandy curtain of hair, his pale cheeks flushing a pinkish red colour.
I couldn’t believe it, it was all so confusing, so unexpected. My brain was frozen in a state of utter shock and I was completely unable to close my stupid mouth or to even form a one worded sentence. Kobra`s embarrassed words repeating themselves in my mind, my idiotic, irritating brain replaying the moment he had spoken the terrifying, heart stopping sentence over and over again.
“I-I’m sorry, Bullet.” He mumbles quietly under his breath, the words coming out rather shakily. “I-I know you don`t feel the same, so please don`t try to make me feel any better. Not that you would ever dream of it, I know.” He tries to force out a sad smile, to reassure me or to try and make the situation seem better, I do not know. But I did know that it did not reach his eyes, and it was more of a grimace than a smile.
“I-Kobra…how do you know how I feel? Are you some kind of mind reader or something?” I ask, voice laced with sarcasm, yet much to my anger it came out less intimidating and angry than I had meant. I frown, unsure where I was going with this, wanting to do nothing more than to drop the entire thing, but my big mouth kept opening, alien words forcing their way out of it.
“What are you getting at Bullet?” Kobra asks me, sheepishly peeking up from under his hair, biting on his lower lip nervously, his cheeks still pink. “Of course I can’t read minds, I just…know you, that`s all.”
He thought he knew me? Yeah right. Nobody knew me, not really. All they saw was what I pretended to be, strong. But in reality, no matter how hard I tried to pretend otherwise, I wasn’t really. If I was strong I would have been able to protect myself better, I wouldn’t have let that bastard win. No, in reality I wasn’t strong, not one little bit.
“You don`t know me Kobra Kid.” I mutter under my breath, talking to myself rather than to him. I can feel my eyes prickling with tears that I refuse to let fall. “Nobody knows me, not really.”
“Bullet?” he asks, looking up at me, his eyes wide with concern. “-are you alright? What are you talking about?”
I shake my head, refusing to tell him, refusing to let him in, just as always. It was the only way to survive in this world; I had learnt that some time ago now. You had to be very careful with who you trusted. Even some killjoys were not good.
But if you don`t ever let anyone else in Kiki…how will you ever be fully happy again?
I scowl, anger filling my entire body. How I loathed that stupid voice in my head. I vaguely wonder if that meant I hated myself as well, I supposed that it did. How dare it use my real name? I was no longer Kiki, I was no longer that girl any more. She was dead and buried, along with my old life. True, I hadn’t particularly enjoyed my life before the Bl/ind Bastards took over, but I sure as hell didn’t like it now.
“Bullet, what is wrong? If what I said offended you or something, I`m terribly sorry, I should never have said anything, I know. I just…I just wanted you to know, I felt that you deserved to. You have every reason to hate me for it, I`m sorry. I just…needed to get my stupid feelings out in the open.”
Kobra turns to walk away from me and begins to walk back over to his own bed. I should have let him, but a small part of me, a part that was bigger than I was ever going to admit, even to myself, was screaming for him to stay right here, near me.
“Kobra, wait! I whisper and he stops dead in his tracks, his eyes full of uncertainty as he turns back around to face me.
. I didn’t know why, well maybe, just maybe I did know the reason why, but I felt safe when I was near Kobra. As safe as anyone could feel in this world anyway. I felt…better around him, I smiled more when he was next to me, it was just something about the sandy haired, pale skinned, awkward killjoy that made me feel happy and almost carefree, like nothing else mattered. The world was a mess, people wanted us all dead and I was still mourning the loss of my best friend and I was still suffering from what had happened to me, but it all seemed to…feel less terrible whenever I was with Kobra Kid.
Was it possible that maybe, just maybe, I felt the same way as he did? I felt I already knew the answer, I was almost certain of it. I was just too scared to admit it. I was too frightened of getting hurt again. I was frightened of opening up myself to another person, I was afraid he wouldn’t want me if he found out what I had been through.
I glance up at him from under my reddish blonde hair nervously, unsure of what to say or do.
“Bullet,” Kobra sighs. “What is it?” his voice is detached, almost empty of emotion as he speaks to me. His expression is now blank. I recognised why he was doing this, trying to distance himself, trying to pretend he didn’t care. I had done that myself many times.
“I-I just was wondering if…erm, you would-“
“Bullet, I don’t want to be mean or anything but I am leaving in a few hours and need to get some sleep.”
“What?!” His jaw threatens to drop, confusion mixed with shock fill his eyes.
“Don’t leave tomorrow, stay here. With me.” I whisper the last part, my voice barely audible. I wasn’t even sure he heard it, I hoped that he hadn’t.
It was dark here in my dream, or nightmare was probably a more accurate description. And shadowy. Somewhere in the far distance a single light kept flickering on and off. I was in some kind of room, a perfect square with snow white walls. I was unable to move, whether form shock or fear I was uncertain. A silver metal table is stood in front of me, in the centre of this room. Next to it stood a cart on wheels, also metal and full of odd items like vials, needles and scalpels. An IV bag was also there, completely empty of its contents.
I had been here before, in my dreams. I knew this place. I look behind me, there was a white door a few metres away from me that was securely bolted shut. I knew this place well, this was where I had been drugged by the Bl/ind bastards and forced to do what they wanted. That metal table was where I had been restrained as they forced the poison into me.
“OW!!” I wince, rubbing at my head, a feeling of sickness and confusion rushing over me. Then it all went black and I returned to a dreamless, peaceful sleep…