I spent the day in Blake's arms, on the window seat. It was a pretty uneventful day, we hardly even spoke. The tension was weird and everything was so intense.
When Blake left it was dark out and he was already home from work.
He was "worried" about me, yeah bullshit I thought. Were you worried about mom when you beat her? Were you ever worried about how me and Jake would feel having to watch that? Now you want to take an interest, well it's a bit too late for that.
That night I lay in bed alone I reached out to turn the lamp off and I saw it.
No matter how many times I tried to kill it, it somehow managed to appear seconds later, struggling.
I used the small trash can in my bedroom to squash it and I left the can over it, I was shaking and sweating through my hoodie even though it's the middle of winter.
I jump half out of my skin and to the opposite side of my bed, it was still alive!
I looked down and tried to squash it again but it turned itself the right way up and skuttled away under my bed.
Listening to the sounds of it climbing, skiterring across the carpet, it revolts me.
I stare at myself in the mirror listening to the sounds it makes and I jump again as I realise it's crawling up the wall behind me "Oh my god! Oh my god!" I whisper in shock.
I jump out of the bed and go over to the lamp, I unplug my iPod from its charger and as the charger hits the floor the cockroach falls off the wall and onto my bed.
I shut the lamp of and run out my bedroom door, sprint downstairs and run into the living room, jumping onto the sofa for safety.
This always happens to me.
This was cockroach attack #3.
I sat there curled in a ball on the living room sofa crying, over a cockroach in my room, I know it's pathetic but I'm so scared of them it's not even funny.
Cockroach attack #1 was when I was sitting in my room back in Jersey reading Twilight. It was about two am and I heard scuttling, I looked up at my wardrobe and a cockroach drops down out of one of the top shelves. I jumped half of Frank Iero's hight and watched it crawl up the wall and fall, up again and hide behind a poster in the corner. I kept reading but I also kept an eye on it, then I heard another sound and looked up at the wall and there's yet ANOTHER cockroach crawling up. It went to the same poster the other one did and the started crawling along the other wall that my bed was leaning on, I jumped Frank Iero's FULL height, flung myself out the door and jumped on the living room couch and fell asleep there.
Cockroach attack #2 was the next day. I got Jake to go in my room the morning after #1 and bug spray every crack, corner and space of my room before I went in there again.
I went in after the smell died out and I looked at the blinds and saw a cockroach crawling on them, dying. I screamed loudly and Jake came running "WHAT'S WRONG?"
I pointed a shaky finger at the cockroach and he grabbed the spray from beside me and sprayed it, then he picked up a tissue and took it away to flush it down the toilet.
I'm so scared of cockroaches, I fucking hate them.
P.S GUYS THE COCKROACH STORIES... YEAH THEY ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME... AND IT SUCKED