Frank wishes things could just be different for once.
Fuck. Fuck Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! I'm running really really late and today Gerard is my priority. His operation is in just under two hours time. And where am i? All tied up at work, with only one other pair of hands to help me and a stuffy, tiny little garage jam packed up with tools and various bottles and tubs filled with paint and oil and polish. The stench more overwhelming than at the Hospital. I would give anything to be there right now, he must be so scared right now. Never was one for needles or doctors. And now he was having a long, complicated operation on his spine. Today was make or break, for both of us.
Where was he? It wasn't his fault, i knew he'd be here otherwise. I was certain there would be a good reason, otherwise he would be here, i just know he would be. He wouldn't leave me here, he never ever lets me down. No matter what Mikey thinks or says about him. He doesn't get it. He doesn't know him the way i know him. He doesn't know how cute or sweet he is most of the time. Sure, he has his days but who doesn't? But i love those days just as much, because it's Frank. If it was anyone else i wouldn't care but i do, because he is the best thing to ever happen to me and nothing could or will ever change that.
I pushed through the double doors, shit! He's due in there now! I catch a glimpse of him being carted down the hallway on his bed, i scream for him, leaving Bob a panting mess on the tiled floor. The doctor pushing him stops abruptly, waiting for me to catch up. "I'm so so sorry Gee!" I breathe out, looking at him directly in the face. "It's ok, you're here now." He smiles up at me. " And he'll be fine in there." The doctor interrupts. " Just wait til he sees them nurses waiting for him in there." The doctor grins. Funnily enough, i'm not sure he'll enjoy that so much. "Well, you best get going then." I smile and the doctor begins to cart him off again.
"Wait!" I shout again. I walk up to him and softly kiss him just once, ignoring the Doctors confused stare and praying he will be okay. And this time something will go right, just this once. All i want is for this to change, if not for me, for someone so amazing and worthwhile. Him.
They're wheeling him back through to his room four hours later. The Doctor whispering words to me. " It went well overall. The surgery wasn't as complicated as we thought, but the success will have to be evaluated with a similar test to the one he endured before the surgery." I nod at him and shake his hand before retreating over to Gerard's side joining Frank who looked guilty all over again. When will his nightmare end? When will my son be back to normal? Will he ever be back to normal? And when will Mikey forgive him? When will my life be complete? When will I be just Donna Way, Wife and Mother all over again? My favourite two descriptions of myself. Not haggard old lady, waiting for a miracle to fall into her lap.