Frank hosts a surprise for mr Gee!
I waltz through the hospital corridors clutching my satchel tightly. Nobody but me knows about today, apart from my Boss, he has to know so i can take some time off work, and Donna knows about the trip we're taking in two weeks time. Some place in the south, where the family used to visit every summer when Gerard and Mikey were just kids.
"Gerard?" I almost sing as i stroll into his room, to my delight he is dressed and has been placed in a wheelchair, making my plan a hundred times easier to carry out. "Frank." He states miserably and i see again how down he is about the changes he is undergoing. Tied to a chair for the rest of his life, someone pushing him around until we can raise enough money for a new technical type that is controlled by head movement. His misery is so apparent, so heartbreaking and desperate. These days he barely speaks to anyone. He speaks breifly but it's almost like talking to a ghost. You can see him but you look into his eyes and nothing is there. Like a void that has passed away and cannot be replaced or respawned. A hole. One that has been placed there for pain and to remind him and me why i am so unworthy. To remind me what he has lost and why he has lost that. And above all, to remind me that nothing will ever be the same.
"I don't even know why you're here. You're only coming here because you feel bad for me." He almost snarls at me. This time i don't lose it, i stay calm. Composed. He turns to look out of the window, look out on the place he grew up in all those years ago, when everything was fresh and new and the world was a safe, beautiful place. Well, it never was but as a child, that's how you picture it all. But it isn't, it's a cold place. A dark, dingy alleyway that every single person gets lost inside, every single day. Only this time, Gerard has sunken beneath and will never fight his way back out into the light, and he took me down with him. But after all, he had a right as it is my fault he fell down in the first place.
"You know, i wasn't sure before. I got scared. I came back when you told me not too, if i wanted to run away i could've but i didn't. And it all leads back to one thing, the one thing i know now. I love you Gerard and i know you always say that you have to mean something when you say it, well i've never meant anything more than what i just told you."
His mood still had not lifted and then it struck me. Struck me like a lightning bolt. Our cab would be ready and waiting outside right now. "Gerard, i need you to not scream or yell or protest until we're outside, i have a surprise for you." And with that i took hold of his wheelchair handles and sprinted down the corridor and out into the parking lot.
"Mom! He's gone!" Mikey ran up to me, a look of distress on his face.
"What? That's not- Excuse me!" I say to a nurse passing me by, "Hey, my son Gerard is supposed to be in that room and well, he's not." I say starting to freak out.
"Well, Mrs Way i actually saw your son, the last time i saw him was about half an hour ago, he was being bundled into a taxi by a short little man, the one that visits often and was giggling like a schoolboy." She says smiling at me.
"I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked the nurse, he was with Frank, everything was alright. He was safe.
My mood had lifted since Frank had brought me out for the day. We were sitting in the stalls ready to watch an ice hockey match. Frank had loved it as a child apparently, me? I had never experienced an actualy ice hockey match and i was excited to say the least, to spend time alone with Frank and hopefully to have fun also but i wasn't looking forward to one thing. Watching able bodied men skate around, maybe fight, do things i would never be able to do again.
"Here we go!" Frank cried, patting my shoulder as welcome to the jungle began to play and both teams skated out onto the ice. He had something else in store for later on as well as tomorrow night, but i was becoming very nervous. He didn't care that i was now paralysed and no longer capable to walk around hand in hand with him. I couldn't move anything but my neck and head. And this was permanent. Forever. And there was one thing i wanted, and that was to go. For good.