FicWad

Gerard sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he gazed down at his story board. He was working hard on the production of the Breakfast monkey but his team were incredibly efficient and he had already found himself with a bit of time to just relax. He was calmly making up some mock story boards for possible episode ideas, sipping a coffee from a takeout cup and thinking about his weekend.

He had spent all of Sunday with Frank, watching movies and chatting. They had shared a few kisses but mostly they just cuddled together and Gerard was still smiling over it. He felt like he finally knew enough about Frank to consider him a friend which was step closer to the relationship status he was dreaming of. He knew that Frank wanted to have sex and get things moving quickly, but that just made Gerard respect him even more for waiting.

Gerard hadn’t yet spoken to Brian since he had abandoned him with Matt at the restaurant. He hoped he was okay, he hadn’t even seen him at work that day.

Gerard sat up as he realised this and blinked stupidly, his pencil dropping from his slackened fingers. Was Brian in today? If he wasn’t, then why not? Gerard knew it was silly to assume that Brian had called in sick because of him but he couldn’t stop the thought from crossing his mind.

Gerard sipped his coffee and looked to his office door, considering going out on a hunt for Brian. He supposed he did owe him an apology for abandoning him on their date, and it would be good to see he was okay. It wasn’t like he was doing anything important anyway, and everyone would be leaving within the next hour so knowing Brian he probably wasn’t doing anything important either.

Gerard shrugged and put down his cup, shoving his chair back after making up his mind to find Brian. He placed the storyboards in a drawer and then left his office in search of the younger man, strolling past his team who were working outside his office to go down to another department.

Being still vaguely new Brian didn’t have his own office, but worked in a large space with lots of other people. He had his own drawing desk of course, and as Gerard made his way through the room he knew Brian worked in he smiled when he saw his dark hair from behind. He was hunched over something, his hand flying across the page as he sketched quickly and Gerard hesitated, wondering whether he should just go before figuring Brian always interrupted him so he walked over to him anyway and tapped his shoulder.

Brian jumped a little but not enough to ruin his drawing, his head turning whilst his hand still moved though he dropped his pencil when he saw Gerard and beamed widely at him as he turned properly.

“Gerard hi! What you doing here?” He beamed, the happiness in his expression making Gerard feel bad for not coming and apologising to him earlier and he forced a smile as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket.

“Cigarette break?” He asked softly, Brian jumping at the chance and nodding eagerly as he got up and grabbed his own packet of Marlboro’s.

“Sure, lead the way.” He winked, abandoning his desk as he followed Gerard back into the corridors and into the elevator. Gerard jabbed the button for the top floor and leant against the side of the lift as he gazed at Brian. The guy was looking ridiculously happy which Gerard found kind of strange, he thought he’d be a little put out about their date.

“So erm... I’m sorry about Saturday night.” He offered, idly playing with his cigarette as he waited for the elevator to reach its destination. “I had a really nice time until erm... till I had to go.” He coughed, Brian smiling and shrugging off his apology.

“Don’t worry about it man, I had great time anyway.” He assured him, the elevator coming to a stop and the two men stepped out into the much less impressive looking corridor at the top of the building. The walls here were just plain stone and it was only a short walk until they stepped out of a fire escape door onto the roof of the tall building.

“I’m glad to hear you had a good time.” Gerard mumbled, cupping his hand around his lighter flame as he held it to the cigarette which was now dangling between his lips. “Did you and Matt get up to anything?” He asked casually, inhaling the smoke of his cigarette deep into his lungs before blowing it back past his lips. Brian watched him with sparkling eyes as he did the same.

“We went to a club.” He answered, his voice thick from the smoke still in his throat. “We danced and got wasted.” He chuckled, running his spare hand through his hair. “What about you? Did Frank stay with you once he got you home or..?”

Gerard blushed, not sure whether to be honest or not. He could feel Brian staring at him intently and he panicked.

“Oh he, no he didn’t. Well I mean he did a little bit but just not all night but just a little bit erm...” Gerard blushed deeply and took a long drag on his cigarette, Brian smirking at him with a playful twinkle in his eyes. He loved when Gerard got all flustered, but he could understand now that the older man didn’t want to be with him.

“It’s okay ya know.” He said gently, waiting until Gerard looked at him. “I don’t mind if Frank stayed the night. I stayed at Matt’s.” He shrugged, keeping his voice casual. Of course he was disappointed that he wasn’t who Gerard wanted, but it was just a revelation to discover that Gerard wanted anyone at all. Frank must be something special for Gerard to like him... Brian couldn’t think of what it was but then he had been distracted by Matt most of the night.

Gerard looked at Brian with eyebrows raised in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting him to be okay with it, and he felt a rush of relief as he smiled. Maybe he and Brian could become good friends after all.

“He did stay the night.” He admitted quietly, idly flicking the ash off the end of his cigarette to the floor. “We didn’t do anything though.” Gerard decided he wouldn’t say it was because had asked specifically that they not have sex, he didn’t want to seem like a total loser.

“Oh...” Brian had to admit he was surprised about that too. If he’d been Frank he definitely would have tried his luck. “So, do you like Frank?” He asked curiously, gazing at Gerard’s face as the older man blushed and shrugged.

“Yeah a... a bit.” He mumbled, his stomach swirling at the thought. He didn’t just like Frank a bit... He absolutely adored him and wanted him more than anyone else in the world. He couldn’t stop thinking about him, the way he kissed him... when he thought about the possibility of having sex with him his hands got all sweaty and his head span. He still couldn’t understand why he’d passed up the opportunity to have sex with him that weekend but he had to believe he’d done the right thing.

Brian smirked as he looked at Gerard, nodding as if he understood and taking another long drag on his cigarette.

“So erm... So you and Matt... You stayed at his huh?” Gerard quickly tried to move the conversation away from himself and smirked when he saw Brian’s cheeks tinge a light pink. It was so unlike the younger man to blush that Gerard couldn’t help but feel a deep amusement over it. “You like him.” He purred, Brian smirking back at him.

“Well, it’s early days yet.” He said as sensibly as he could, though he couldn’t help but jump and down like a teenage girl as he said, “we did have sex though.”

Gerard gawped at him for a moment before realising that wasn’t really that big of a deal. Gerard supposed he’d done the same thing plenty of times before so he simply smirked and finished his cigarette as he met Brian’s gaze.

“Wow... Do you think you’ll see him again?” He asked casually, blowing smoke into the air as he dropped the butt of his cigarette to the floor and crushed it with his foot.

“I hope so.” Brian shrugged, crushing his own finished cigarette. “He said we would. He took my number and I have his so... But we’ll just see.”

“Well, it sounds like you guys really hit it off.” Gerard smiled, wondering again whether he had done the right thing in telling Frank he didn’t want to have sex with him. Maybe he should have just gone for it. Even Brian had got laid that night.

“It sounds like you and Frank have too.” Brian smirked, following Gerard back to the fire escape door that led back into the building. “I can tell he likes you... Are you guys gonna go on a date together?” He asked softly, Gerard blushing at the question and shrugging his shoulders.

“I don’t know...” He admitted softly, though of course he wanted to. He hadn’t really arranged anything with Frank, but he knew he was in New York for another week before he was going to New Jersey to take a break from work for a while. Gerard had pretty much assumed that if he was going to see Frank again it would be in New Jersey when he didn’t have work to worry about, but now he was starting to wonder if he should contact him before that. After all, he didn’t want to give him the impression he wasn’t interested.

“You should call him.” Brian smiled, following Gerard into the elevator. “You have his number right?”

“Mhmm...” Gerard nodded, already considering it.

“Then call him.” Brian smirked, the elevator taking them down to their floor and Brian squeezed Gerard’s shoulder as he stepped out. “You should go out with him, have some fun.” He winked, Gerard looking at him silent surprise as Brian grinned and walked away to go back to his own desk. Gerard couldn’t believe Brian was being so understanding about it, and part of him was suspicious about that, but he pushed it out of his mind and decided he would text Frank as he made his way back to his own office.

>X<

Gerard sighed as he dropped his keys down on the counter and went straight into the bathroom to shower. He had text Frank earlier and was now looking forward to a date with him on Wednesday night, the porn star had seemed excited about it which in turn made Gerard ecstatic. His head span when he considered that maybe something could become of him and Frankie.

Gerard showered quickly and hurried to get dried and dressed into a casual pair of old jeans and a baggy t-shirt. After he had arranged his date with Frank, Elena had called him and practically demanded that he come to hers for dinner that night. Gerard swore the woman had some sort of built in radar that told her when Gerard was full of gossip that she needed to extract, but it got him some free home cooked food so he wasn’t about to complain.

Once he had changed and his hair had dried to the point where it was just damp Gerard grabbed his car keys and made his way out of his apartment to go to Elena’s. He was looking forward to her homely Italian cooking and was even a tiny bit excited to tell her about Frankie, no doubt she wouldn’t be letting him leave until he did.

Elena only lived ten minutes from Gerard and so just a couple Iron Maiden songs later Gerard was pulling up into her driveway and flicking off his radio. He checked his hair wasn’t sticking up all over the place before he got out of the car and made his way up to the door. He knocked politely but then let himself anyway, as was normal when visiting Elena, and he groaned in quiet delight when his senses were instantly attacked with the delicious scent wafting through the house.

“Hello!” He called in a sing song voice, Elena immediately appearing in the kitchen doorway wearing a pink frilly apron over a long flowing skirt and lilac blouse. She grinned widely at Gerard and opened her arms wide as she charged down the hallway towards him.

“There he is!” She sang, encasing him in her surprisingly strong arms and crushing him in a tight hug. “It’s wonderful to see you my dear.” She beamed, kissing both his cheeks and leaving a sweet smell of powder as she began to drag Gerard down the hallway, barely giving him time to kick off his shoes. “I bought us some champagne!” She declared proudly, Gerard chuckling as he followed her into the kitchen and inhaled deeply. The smell of the cooking was stronger here and Gerard’s mouth watered.

“Champagne? What’s the occasion?” He smirked, Elena shoving the champagne bottle into his hands for him to open as she sought out some glasses.

“It’s to celebrate you getting your cartoon deal.” Elena scoffed as if it should be obvious. “And I hope you feel suitably guilty for not coming to celebrate with me already.” She added, Gerard smiling softly though he did feel a little bit of guilt stir inside him.

“I’m sorry Grandma, I’ve just been really busy.” He said honestly, popping the cork on the champagne and filling the two glasses as Elena took the lasagne from the oven. “I’ve met someone.”

Elena almost dropped the lasagne dish in shock, a squeal of delight erupting from her lips as she slammed the dish down on the side and whirled round to look at Gerard with wide eyes. Gerard knew it would be enough to get her to stop with the approaching guilt trip and he laughed softly as she beamed at him.

“You never!” She gasped, Gerard blushing though he smirked and nodded, Elena squealing and diving on him to hug him tight. “Oh my GOD Gerard why didn’t you tell me!?” She squealed, Gerard laughing as he hugged her back for a moment.

“I’m telling you now.” He said innocently, handing one of the glasses of champagne to Elena. “Can we eat? I’m starving Grandma.” He chuckled.

“We can eat after you’ve told me everything about this young man you’ve met.” Elena said sternly, pushing Gerard to fill their champagne glasses whilst she placed the lasagne and a bowl of salad onto the dining table. Gerard chuckled fondly and poured the sparkling liquid into the glasses and then handed on to Elena who was once again bouncing beside him.

“So come on, tell me!” She begged, Gerard shrugged as he leant over to pluck a cherry tomato from the salad bowl and pop it in his mouth.

“Well, his name is Frank.” He said softly, chewing on the tomato as Elena thwacked his arm and scolded him for eating without permission. “He’s four years younger than me.” Gerard continued with a chuckle, sitting down at the table so that Elena would follow his lead and stop her incessant bouncing.

“Younger eh?” Elena smirked, sitting opposite Gerard and idly swirling her champagne round the glass in her hand. “Is he cute?” She asked, Gerard blushing slightly as he nodded.

“Very...” He purred, Elena squealing and clapping her hands.

“What does he look like?” She demanded, slowly starting to serve up the food when she saw Gerard was mostly distracted by the delicious smelling lasagne infront of him. “I want every detail.”

“Well, he’s erm... short. He has dark hair, brown eyes, lots of tattoos, tan skin...” Gerard tried to keep things simple so that he didn’t get too carried away, though it was difficult when the mental image of Frank was making him melt inside.

“The boy you mentioned in the restaurant?” Elena gasped, Gerard looking at her in surprise.

“Erm... Brian?” He asked uncertainly, Elena waving her hands as she shook her head, handing Gerard a plate of lasagne and then the salad bowl.

“No... The boy you said was your type, but then tried to convince me wasn’t a person you’d actually met.” Elena said innocently, waiting patiently for Gerard to put some salad on his plate before handing the bowl to her. Gerard’s head was reeling as he tried to figure out what Elena was going on about, it taking him a moment to remember their conversation when they had gone to the Italian those weeks ago and how he had described his perfect type by describing Frank. Once he realised Elena had caught him out he blushed deeply and quickly shovelled some lasagne into his mouth so he wouldn’t have to answer.

“So I take it you had met him at that point?” Elena smirked, spearing some lasagne onto her fork though she didn’t eat it, instead just stared at Gerard with an amused expression. “Why did you lie to me? You know you should never lie to your grandma Gerard.” She purred innocently, Gerard’s cheeks flaming as he tried to think of an explanation. He couldn’t exactly tell Elena the truth, as amazing as his grandma was he doubted she’d be okay with the fact that Frank was a porn star and Gerard was a hopeless fan boy.

“Erm... I err... I hadn’t met him at the point.” Gerard finally managed to choke out after swallowing his mouthful of food. “I’d just erm... seen him around.” He lied, Elena quirking an eyebrow at him.

“Seen him around where?”

“The err... The subway.” Gerard quickly answered. It seemed plausible enough to him and he quickly ate some more food as Elena looked at him with a thoughtful smile.

“So... You’d seen this boy on the subway and you had been admiring him from afar?” She clarified, Gerard blushing furiously as he nodded. “How did you get talking?” Elena asked, Gerard chewing slowly to give himself time to come up with some sort of story.

“Erm... I guess he’d just been admiring me from afar too and one Monday whilst I was on the way to work he just sat next to me and... ya’ know... said hi.” Gerard imagined Elena would probably want to hear more than that, but it was the best he could come up with. He hadn’t thought things through properly before deciding to tell Elena about Frank, but to his relief she only grinned at him, apparently satisfied.

“Oh Gerard that’s so romantic!” She cooed, clapping her hands excitedly. “It’s just like out of a movie! I take it you boys have been on a date?”

“A couple.” Gerard chuckled, relaxing as he got back into familiar ground and described his time in Vegas with Frank, under the pretext of going to a comic con together, and then the date with Brian and Matt. He told Elena that Brian had met Matt around the same time he met Frank and that they’d gone on a double date together so that he didn’t have to go through the lecture of leading Brian on.

“Oh Gerard... He sounds like a dream.” Elena sighed, grinning widely and gazing at Gerard with a sparkle in her eyes. She was so proud of him, so pleased he had finally met a guy he liked. She had been starting to believe it would never happen. “So, we have two things to celebrate now.” Elena picked up her champagne glass and raised it, Gerard quickly lifting his own.

“Congratulations darling on your fabulous achievement at work, and of course in finding the man of your dreams.” She declared camply, Gerard laughing as they clinked their glasses together and sipped their champagne.

“I wouldn’t get carried away grandma, we’ve only been on two dates.” Gerard smirked as he got back to eating his food, though deep down he couldn’t deny he was hoping he and Frank would last a long time. Every time he thought about him butterflies would erupt in his tummy.

“I’m not getting carried away.” Elena scoffed, kicking Gerard lightly under the table. “I can already tell you’re crazy about him.”

Gerard smiled quietly but didn’t respond to that. He didn’t want to say he was crazy about Frank, even though he was, since it would just make it all too obvious how deeply he adored him already. But he didn’t want to lie and say he wasnt crazy about him because... Well, he was.

“Have you slept with him yet?” Elena asked conversationally, taking a sip of her champagne before cutting up her lasagne, casually ignoring how Gerard was choking on his mouthful of food. Elena bit back her smirk and waited for her grandson to stop coughing before she looked at him innocently and raised her eyebrows. “Well?”

“Grandma you can’t just ask me that!” Gerard squeaked, his cheeks flaming. Elena smirked at him and shrugged innocently.

“Why not?” She giggled, eating some lasagne as she pinned Gerard with her questioning stare. “We’re both adults, you shouldn’t get embarrassed.” She smirked, her eyes sparkling as Gerard spluttered and stammered, unable to think of a response. “So come on, have you slept with him or not?” Elena pushed when it became clear Gerard was just going to continue flailing like a fish out of water if she didn’t say anything.

“I – I - God grandma, no okay! We haven’t.” Gerard finally managed to choke out, mortified that Elena was asking him such things. He didn’t make a point of telling her his sex life, and he wasn’t about to start.

“Because the opportunity hasn’t arrived or because you’re waiting?” Elena continued as if it was perfectly normal conversation, Gerard gawping at her like an idiot. It was as if she was psychic or something and Gerard’s blush intensified as he lowered his head slightly.

“Well we... We did sorta... erm... I told him I wanted to wait.” He coughed, knowing it was better just to answer Elena than try and protest to this kind of questioning. Besides, maybe she could give him some advice on the situation.

“And he’s okay with waiting?” Elena asked innocently, smiling as she ate some more and Gerard nodded silently. “Why do you look so glum about it?” Elena scoffed, Gerard biting his lip as he peeked up at her through his lashes.

“Because... Because I got the feeling he probably thought I was stupid for wanting to wait.” He admitted ever so quietly, his stomach twisting. He hadn’t want to admit that even to himself but he couldn’t deny that it had been playing on his mind. Despite how excited he was for his and Frank’s approaching date and how well their time together had gone over the weekend, he still did feel concerned that Frank was put out about the no sex thing.

“Well... He might have done.” Elena shrugged, not making Gerard feel any better at all. “But whether he thinks waiting is stupid or not, the fact he’s agreed to it surely tells you that he cares about you.” Elena cocked her head to the side with a warm smile, Gerard looking up properly and shrugging as his cheeks faded to a lighter pink colour.

“Maybe... But maybe he just agreed to it just to make me happy.” Gerard’s blush intensified again when Elena burst out laughing, shaking her head and slapping her knee as if Gerard had just told an incredible joke. Gerard scowled slightly and pouted like a sulky child, folding his arms and glaring at his grandma. “What?”

“Oh Gerard,” Elena chuckled, wiping her eyes as she tried to stop laughing. “Bless you sweetie, you’re so adorable.” She chuckled, Gerard just feeling even more confused as he waited for Elena to calm down and explain what she was finding so funny. It felt like forever before she finally managed to stop her giggles and look at him with some amount of seriousness, still wiping tears from her eyes. “Gerard if he’s waiting just to make you happy then that’s a good thing. He wants to make you happy because he likes you, surely that’s obvious.”

Gerard considered this for a moment and suddenly felt stupid for not realising it himself. Of course Elena was right. If Frank did think waiting to have sex was stupid and was only agreeing to it for Gerard’s sake then that just proved that he wanted a relationship with Gerard to work just as much as Gerard did. The realisation made Gerard’s heart miss a beat and his stomach lurch with happiness. If that was the case then maybe they didn’t have to wait after all... Maybe Frank had really meant it when he said they could build up a relationship and have sex at the same time.

“I... I guess I just didn’t think about it.” Gerard finally muttered, picking up his cutlery again and going back to his lasagne as Elena shook her head fondly at him.

“You really ought to think more you know Gerard.” She smirked, eating some more of her own lasagne and dropping the subject now she trusted Gerard was going to do the right thing.

>X<

“I can’t believe you slept with him though.” Frank laughed, rubbing a towel over his wet hair as Matt shrugged, idly flicking through a small book which had all of Frank’s appointments in.

“He asked for it.” He said innocently, Frank giving an unattractive snort as he shook his head in bemusement. “Anyway, it’s not like you wouldn’t have done the exact same thing with Gerard if he’d asked you to.” Matt added, scribbling something into the diary. “By the way, you have a shoot tomorrow morning, I forgot to say.”

“Jesus Matt.” Frank groaned, though he didn’t complain. He rarely turned a shoot down. Mostly because Matt knew him so well he only ever agreed to Frank doing stuff he knew he was okay with, but also because Frank wanted all the money he could get. He already had a good wage, but he liked having money, and he wasn’t ashamed of that fact. “Anyway, I was quite happy about Gerard not wanting sex. I mean, it’s not like I don’t get any on a regular basis.”

Matt rolled his eyes but didn’t argue the point which was even more potent considering Frank was currently getting dried and dressed after a shower scene for a company he often did videos for. The man he’d done the shoot with had already gone – a newcomer who didn’t have the luxury of hours between shoots which Frank did. Frank could remember only too well how rushed he’d been when he first started. In order to get any real good money in the porn industry you had to have a reputation, and the only way to get that was to get your videos out to every company and website possible. Now a day’s Frank didn’t have that problem.

“So what’s this shoot I have tomorrow?” Frank asked after a moment of silence. He tugged on his underwear and wandered over to stand in front of Matt as he got dressed, Matt giving him the basics of the porn shoot he had in the morning. It was nothing too extensive, just a quick “wham bam thank you ma’am” scene as Matt described them.

“So no foreplay or anything?” Frank clarified, Matt nodding and Frank tugged his shirt over his head. “Cool, any photo breaks?”

“Nope, just sex.” Matt shrugged, Frank sighing a small breath of relief.

“Sounds good.” He smiled, glad he’d be able to just fuck and get it over with and not have to do any of the other nonsense a long shoot entailed. “Should be done within an hour then. We can go have breakfast out tomorrow.” He suggested, grinning as Matt rolled his eyes fondly but nodded his agreement.

“Sure. I might call Bri and ask if he wants to come...” Matt smiled a little at the thought, Frank smirking at him as he did up his studded belt.

“Won’t he be at work already by then?” He asked innocently, Matt frowning as he shrugged. “Just, I’m sure he’d have to be at work the same time as Gerard and he’d be working by then.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to call him anyway.” Matt shrugged, too eager to see the man again to not even try. He and Brian had said they would meet again although they hadn’t planned a specific time and Matt really did wanna see him. “I could ask Gerard to come too.” He offered, smirking when Frank blushed.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t want to distract him from working when he’s got such important stuff to be doing.” Frank replied, referring to the Breakfast monkey. Matt nodded as if he understood and then left the room to call Brian straight away, leaving Frank to finish drying his hair.

Frank sighed as he picked up his towel and folded it slowly. He did want to see Gerard again, more than he probably should considering how few times he’d seen him. But he was already feeling like he knew so much about him and he knew he wanted a relationship... and he figured it was safe to assume Gerard wanted the same. But Frank didn’t think he’d be able to have breakfast with him in the morning after having had sex not long before hand.

Frank hadn’t found his career a problem in his any of his relationships before... well, not for him at least. He’d had a few partners, well... a lot of partners who had disliked the fact he had sex for a living and had left him for some reason or another to do with it. But Frank himself had always found it easy to put keep his working and his private life completely separate. But with Gerard he wasn’t so sure... The thought of seeing him so soon after fucking some stranger for cash made his stomach swirl and his skin crawl. Maybe it was because Gerard didn’t want to have sex with him just yet that made him feel so uncomfortable... guilty almost.

“Hey,” Frank jumped when Matt suddenly appeared again, poking his head round the door. “I called Bri, he said he should be find to have breakfast with us tomorrow, he said no one will notice he’s gone.” Matt had a mischievous grin on his face and Frank quickly forced a smile.

“You sure he won’t get into any trouble?” He asked softly, though admittedly he had never been one to care much for authority or rules. He just felt it was polite to ask.

“Nah, he’ll be fine.” Matt brushed the concerns away with a flick of his hand, too excited to see Brian to actually care whether he should be sneaking out of work or not. It’d only be for an hour anyway. “He said he won’t tell Gerard either, since you don’t want him to come.” Matt added with a smile, Frank nodding his head and trying not to look too disappointed. He really wanted to see Gerard, but it would be best to just wait until their date on Wednesday. He didn’t have any shoots Wednesday anyway so it’d be fine.

“Cool.” He grinned at Matt, the older man beaming as he turned and left Frank again, letting him finish getting changed before they left so that Frank could grab some lunch before he was due a photo shoot and another sex scene.

Frank sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He loved his job, it was fun despite everything... but he wasn’t used to it inspiring such feelings of guilt whenever he thought about Gerard and how he might feel if they became a couple and he was forced to become more acquainted to what Frank being a porn star meant.

Frank grimaced and grabbed his stuff, trying not to think about it as he left with Matt. He wasn’t even Gerard’s boyfriend yet and already he was full of an icy fear that Gerard was going to leave him just like all the others had.

R&R